I was going about the morning as usual, working on my next book, with CNN on in the background, when I heard what has to be the sociopathic quote of the year, “Nothing says I love you like a Glock.” I have not shared much about my own experience with a sociopath, but one of the things I am most ashamed of is that I did not react more strongly to my former husband’s preoccupation with guns. He did not personally own any gun, but he talked about them a great deal, and he was very persistent about the idea that I should learn how to shoot. He also wanted me to own a hand gun. I did take the NRA gun safety course and I learned how to shoot. I have to say, target practice was fun and I was good at it. I had and still have, an aversion to guns, and so never applied for permission to own one of my own. I felt like a fuddy-dud though, after all our Constitution does give us the right to arm bears, or is it bare arms? I don’t know…
What I do know is that the presence of a hand gun in the home is statistically associated with completed suicide. Access to weapons means a greater likelihood of using them on one’s self or others on impulse. A good thing did come from my training in fire arms, that was I became a more comfortable asking my patients if they owned weapons. All psychiatric/psychological evaluations should include this question.
The sociopathic quote of the year belongs to Drew Peterson, a man who the entire country believes may be responsible for the disappearance of his wife. To read the story visit The Chicago Tribune Website.
Although many people who own guns and use guns are not sociopaths, nearly all sociopaths are in love with guns. This is not discussed at all in the scientific literature but, in my conversations with other victims, they have verified the obsession. Sociopaths are in love with guns because they are the ultimate symbol of power and sociopaths are preoccupied with power. Sociopaths enjoy not only real guns, they also enjoy toy guns and violent videogames. Many studies have shown that sociopaths enjoy violent entertainment more that the average person.
If someone you suspect is a sociopath, wants you to have a gun, please get away from that person immediately. I strongly believe that many sociopaths who do not kill their partners, get their partners to kill themselves. Obviously, a person can also be murdered in such a way that it looks like a suicide. Please notice that Mr. Peterson bought his wife a gun as a Valentine’s day present. How telling is that? How sick is that?
ElizabethBennett
You just can’t be friends with an spath no matter what-they don’t know how to do dat!
ElizabethBennett
LL-you seem to be sounding quite better today than usual-good for good for you giving good advice to others. You’ll see that helping other people makes you feel better. It did for me and it still does!
tobehappy
I totally understand that. I don’t have any intentions of being his “friend”.
Wow…I was just reading Alice Miller’s work about childhood trauma. Adolf Hitler’s story was amazing. No wonder he was so insane!
The question is always why some people come from abuse and learn to empathise.
She states that somewhere along, a “witness”…a person who did love and support an abused child…helped to teach the child that violence and abuse is NOT normal.
very interesting reading…..
tobehappy
Yes, when we get out of ourselves and help others..it reinforces what WE ourselves need to learn.
There’s a quote…”I can only teach what I need to learn”.
I always remembered that as a teacher.
Thats why this board is so healing. We are all helping each other.
ElizabethBennett
I had some abuse in my childhood from my mother but ended up with a ton of empathy-can’t be explained. I’m taking a class right now to get certified as a sexual assault nurse and I’m so glad I’m doing it. I will be able to do rape exams, evidence collection and counseling for victims.
ElizabethBennett
The board helps because when some of us are having a good day, others are having a bad day and we can help each other and balance each other out.
tobehappy
My sister and I were just talking about that. We had lots of abuse, but we are so empathetic and raised our children with love and NO abuse.
Alice Miller attributes it to having “witnesses”. …someone loved us. My sister said that WE saved each other…all five of us kids….supported each other. And, I had an aunt and uncle who took us out a lot and loved us to death.
Thank God.
ElizabethBennett
You’re lucky in that respect cuz I had to do it alone. I had 4 brothers and sisters and we are not close and they have stuck with my mother, but they also didn’t get the same treatment from her that I did. They think she’s a saint and that’s fine. Now I am very close to my dad though, he loves out of state but we talk almost everyday or at least several times a week on the phone.
lesson learned
Tobe
I’ve read Alice Miller’s work. And I’ve often thought about the “witnesses” that show what love is and not abuse from my childhood. I only had ONE,..she was my stepmother. Although she was always on spathy daddy’s side about stuff, she showed me what love was and is. If it were NOT for her, I may not have ever learned empathy. She was an enormously kind woman, but she made a lot of mistakes with all of us children because of my father and his abuse and trying to survive. I understand that and I forgive her. We do talk once in awhile, but don’t share nearly the same relationship we use too.
2cop, yea, a little better today/tonight. Very reflective since biopsy this afternoon.
LL
Alice Miller’s stuff is pretty amazing.
ElizabethBennett
LL-when do you find out the results from the biopsy?