I was going about the morning as usual, working on my next book, with CNN on in the background, when I heard what has to be the sociopathic quote of the year, “Nothing says I love you like a Glock.” I have not shared much about my own experience with a sociopath, but one of the things I am most ashamed of is that I did not react more strongly to my former husband’s preoccupation with guns. He did not personally own any gun, but he talked about them a great deal, and he was very persistent about the idea that I should learn how to shoot. He also wanted me to own a hand gun. I did take the NRA gun safety course and I learned how to shoot. I have to say, target practice was fun and I was good at it. I had and still have, an aversion to guns, and so never applied for permission to own one of my own. I felt like a fuddy-dud though, after all our Constitution does give us the right to arm bears, or is it bare arms? I don’t know…
What I do know is that the presence of a hand gun in the home is statistically associated with completed suicide. Access to weapons means a greater likelihood of using them on one’s self or others on impulse. A good thing did come from my training in fire arms, that was I became a more comfortable asking my patients if they owned weapons. All psychiatric/psychological evaluations should include this question.
The sociopathic quote of the year belongs to Drew Peterson, a man who the entire country believes may be responsible for the disappearance of his wife. To read the story visit The Chicago Tribune Website.
Although many people who own guns and use guns are not sociopaths, nearly all sociopaths are in love with guns. This is not discussed at all in the scientific literature but, in my conversations with other victims, they have verified the obsession. Sociopaths are in love with guns because they are the ultimate symbol of power and sociopaths are preoccupied with power. Sociopaths enjoy not only real guns, they also enjoy toy guns and violent videogames. Many studies have shown that sociopaths enjoy violent entertainment more that the average person.
If someone you suspect is a sociopath, wants you to have a gun, please get away from that person immediately. I strongly believe that many sociopaths who do not kill their partners, get their partners to kill themselves. Obviously, a person can also be murdered in such a way that it looks like a suicide. Please notice that Mr. Peterson bought his wife a gun as a Valentine’s day present. How telling is that? How sick is that?
I never realized until now, or I think I realize that an ex S could have actually wanted me to commit suicide.
He emotionally abused me with the words, “just kill yourself” and variations.
He was obsessed with guns. Ex military. Owned over 60 guns.
This ex(S) is one of several S’s I’ve let into my life.
No more.
I read on another link about afraid to go into the world.
That’s how I feel.
Afraid here on LF sometimes of trolls but overall LF is a tremendous support.
Dear sotired,
Don’t worry about the trolls, if they show up, or if you think anyone is a troll, or even is inappropriate, hit the REPORT ABUSIVE COMMENT button and let Donna know, then DO NOT RESPOND TO THEM AT ALL, Donna will handle it, I promise you.
Yes, I think they try sometimes to get us to kill ourselves, or plot murders that look like suicide if they can’t get us to pull the trigger ourselves.
Sure, it does make you TIRED, and SCARED to go back out into the world because you have lost trust in YOURSELF to recognize Ps and keep you safe. It is OK to stay “holed up” in safety (even if it is in a “cave” for a while) and I did that, and many of us have, but eventually we have learned that WE CAN learn to TRUST oourselves to keep us as safe as anyone can be. Life itself is a risk, but living is a cave isn’t much fun itself, even though it is “safe”—so there is some risk in life if you LIVE it, but that’s okay as we are learning to make good choices and to keep ourself protected at the first sign of a troll.
Keep reading and learning, there is great stuff here, and BTW, KNOWLEDGE=POWER and you can take that power back! ((((hugs)))))
I have been reading several posts on this site…this was such an important one I felt I needed to comment on. I haven’t shared my story one hundred percent yet, but I trust NO Spath with a gun.
Not too long ago, ex spath, after sex, pulled out a handgun out of the dresser drawer and laid it on the bed. This after I had found a picture of his ex wife in the drawer above. “I keep this around ya know”…(he had it slightly aimed at me, not one hundred percent but in a way that was enough to get the message I felt he wanted delivered to me) but I keep it around to protect my girlfriend and my family (he has custody of his children part time), It completely creeped me out. I felt IMMEDIATELY unsafe and couldn’t WAIT to get the hell out of there. No, unfortunately, even after that incident, I wasn’t done with him….yet….but that didn’t feel like normal behavior at all for a normal person!!.
Dear Lesson learned,
GET AWAY FROM THIS MAN IMMEDIATELY and do not continue to associate with him …this was a THREAT!
NORMAL PEOPLE, with or without guns, DO NOT ACT LIKE THIS.
Welcome to this site. LISTEN TO YOUR GUT!
Oxy.
Thank you so much for commenting to my post. Truthfully, the moment scared the hell out of me and was spontaneous, I couldn’t believe it. I knew he owned guns, knew he knew how to shoot ( I do too, having practiced for fun before on shooting ranges), but NEVER in the ten years I’d been with him, had he NEVER pulled a gun out in my presence like that. I FELT completely vulnerable and it was the FIRST time I ever allowed a thought to cross my mind that he might even “accidentally” kill me! The gun was NOT directly aimed at me, just laid out on the bed toward me, and I questioned my fear and my gutt! This man is soooooo smooth to the outside world. You’d NEVER suspect that he’d had a gun or would use it, until you heard him talk about how he had one, knew how to use it and wouldn’t be afraid to if an intruder were to break into his home. He was married before and never physically hurt her, although he was extraordinarily abusive to her emotionally. Why in God’s name would someone want to do that or THINK about doing that to someone? It truly frightened me. And Ox? I”m away from him now…I want to share my story….but I’m not sure where to share on the site.. I’ve been reading A LOT of articles on this site and it’s by far the most informative and helpful. I appreciate that the articles written are by professionals in psychology and specifically with narcissistic/sociopathic personalities. I’m ready to renew the healing process…..again. This will be the UMPTEENTH time I’ve walked away from this person…and it wasn’t until I saw this site, and started reading alot of the articles here, that things began to really click….as well as, unfortunatley, going back and back and back again….
Dear Lesson Learned,
Where you share your story is up to you and Donna. You can write it up and e mail it to her or you can post it on any thread, there’s no formal way to do it here. Some people who write are professionals and some are not….so Donna is not particular how it is posted and she is a great gal so contact her personally and discuss it with her.
Sharing our stories here is IMPORTANT, important for us and for others too. It validates us but it also gives others reason to see that they are NOT ALONE.
Coming here and knowing I was NOT alone. Was not stupid, etc. helped me to get on the track of healing.
I’m glad you are here. Healing is a journey, not a destination. We never “get to the end” of it but continue to grow and learn.
I’m glad you found this place and I am SO GLAD you are away from this man. Listen to your gut! It is pretty smart! God bless.
Ox,
How do I write an email to Donna? I don’t mean to sound like an idiot, but I’m unfamiliar with this site and would like to share my experience with her privately. You had mentioned contacting her, but I don’t know what or which (if there are a few email addressed for her) email to use? I would very much appreciate knowing so I can begin to share my story and work on my healing. Thank you so much!
Dear lesson learned,
Her direct e mail is donna@LoveFraud.com
I suggest that you send it to her privately if that would make you feel more comfortable.
Also, on the left side of the screen of this blog under the picture of the LOVE FRAUD BOOK with the heart-shaped bulls eye, is a list of CATEGORIES with different types or authors of articles and numbers after the category —click on those and it will bring up another list of various articles for you to read either by subject or author.
The more you know about what is going on, how they work and think, the quicker you will realize how to spot them in the future and also looking back. Healing isn’t a quick fix, it is a long haul, but it is worth it! (((hugs)))
I believe that the reason why a lot of people keep guns is because they use it for self-defense and a s a security measure. Due to the increase i crime rate in these wearing economic times, people are even more compelled to buy security devices and self-defense tools that can protect them from criminals. However, if you plan to keep guns in the house, it would be a better idea to simply install reliable burglar alarms systems in your residence.
Burglar
Have you been involved with a spath?
I’m guessing not.
LL