With the release of the Mask of Sanity in the 1940s Dr. Hervey Cleckley began the quest to describe a syndrome called psychopathy, in which affected individuals prey on others without remorse. Since people affected by the syndrome are socially disordered the syndrome has also been called sociopathy. Dr. Robert Hare extended the work of Cleckley and carefully documented the symptoms of the disorder. All this research has lead to two basic conclusions:
1. It is quite remarkable that individuals who choose a lifestyle of remorseless predation of other people are so similar in their behaviors and personality traits.
2. Equally important is the idea that non-disordered people do not “regularly” prey on others.
These two very profound conclusions have been the cause of a dilemma that is outlined by the following statement by a prominent psychopathy researcher:
Clearly, not all people who are violent or callous or sadistic are psychopathic. In fact, it is probably the case that most of the cruelty in the world is not perpetrated by psychopathic individuals. Similarly, although psychopaths commit a disproportionate share of the violent crime, it seems to me that they do not commit even the majority of the violent crime.
Over the last two weeks I have thought about the above dilemma, particularly since attending the Battered Mothers Custody Conference. The dilemma was also discussed at the conference in the form of questioning whether “all batters are psychopaths/sociopaths.” I want to answer this question for you in and extend the answer to the broader context of psychopathy/sociopathy and humanity.
All though I have the utmost respect for the quoted psychopathy researcher, I disagree strongly with his views. I believe that ALL people who are violent, callous or sadistic (in the sense that these traits persist in them) are psychopathic.
Over the last 7 years a number of studies show that the group of traits and behaviors that group together in psychopathy act like a “dimensional trait.” By dimensional trait I mean that psychopathy is similar to height. Just as there are short people and tall people and also what we consider short and tall changes according to age, gender and geography, there are people who are more or less psychopathic. The dilemma only happens when we attempt to categorize a person and call him or her “a psychopath/sociopath.” Scientists and mental health professionals disagree about where to draw the dividing line to indicate “a psychopath,” just like you and I might disagree as to what height makes for a “tall person.”
The dimension, psychopathic is also different from height in a very important respect- that is stability. Whereas height is very stable, psychopathy is only relatively stable and is affected by aging, mood disorders, substance abuse and social environment.
Now I want to explain the source of the confusion around the dimension psychopathic. The source of the confusion is a failure to understand that one issue underlies psychopathy and is the cause of the observed fact that a group of traits and behaviors cluster together in psychopathy/sociopathy.
The cause of psychopathy/sociopathy is an addiction to power. The addiction to power can start at any age but as in most addictions it usually begins by the early 20s. Also like other addictions, the earlier a person becomes addicted to power, the worse the addiction. Addictions that begin early are very resistant to treatment and carry a very poor prognosis. Psychopathy/sociopathy that starts prior to age 10 (puberty) is the most devastating.
The idea that an addiction to power underlies psychopathy/sociopathy has important micro and macro implications for human society. On a micro level the family is affected by psychopathic individuals who are obsessed with the pursuit of interpersonal power at the expense of family members. Violence, callous manipulation and sadism are all part of that power fix. The person that abuses family members does so because it makes him or her feel powerful. That is true whether the abuser is mother, father, brother, sister or any other relation.
The macro level is just as important. Our institutional leaders, if addicted to power produce widespread abuse in our society. Institutional leaders are bosses, politicians, teachers and the like. When we examine risk for “psychopathy” in leaders, it is useful to consider the phenomenon of addiction as applied to power.
Last night we went to The Cheesecake Factory to celebrate my daughter’s 18th birthday. I had one frozen mango marguerita, likely one of six I will have in all of 2009. I will also likely drink 4 glasses of wine and about three beers all year. There are many people who cannot drink just one drink because the pleasure of alcohol sets off a chemical reaction in their brains. Once they have one drink they develop a compulsion to keep drinking.
Power with me works the same way. I dislike telling other people what to do. I have had to learn to manage this dislike in order to adequately mother my children. Good parenting requires the thoughtful, careful exertion of interpersonal power. Some parents become addicted to that power and become what are called “authoritarian parents.” They are so bossy and dictatorial their poor children never learn to think for themselves.
Institutional leaders are like parents. Leadership requires thoughtful, careful exertion of interpersonal power. For a psychopathic, power-addict the first time they lead the meeting fills them with pleasure and delight. They become obsessed with the feeling and so obsessed with power. Since love and power motives are mutually exclusive, eventually power consumes the person’s entire being and he/she develops all the qualities of “a psychopath.”
Let us look at domestic violence again. Men and women who abuse their partners mentally, emotionally sexually and physically are not normal people who are the subjects of the influence of a violent society. They are power addicts. Just like there are societal factors in alcoholism, gambling and other addictions, there are societal influences on psychopathy. These societal influences no more cause psychopathy or power addiction, than they do alcoholism. Drinking causes alcoholism and exerting power causes psychopathy- in people with an inborn predisposition.
Please comment on what I have written. If you disagree please state your reasons. Let’s have a debate.
The only solution to reducing the number of psychopaths (which will never be seen in our lifetime), is for normal people to learn about them, and be warned to stay away from them and especially “not have children with them”.
With enough time . . . . there will be fewer psychopaths . . IMHO (and science has proven) IT IS INHERITED.
Obviously . . this will never happen. . . The world is tooo complicated.
My mother is a nurse and brought home a bunch of psychology books, none of which spoke of sociopathy.
She read Anti-social personality disorder; he fit a few of these
She read Histrionic ” “; he fit a few of these
She read Bi-Polar disorder; he fit a few of these
She read NPD: he fit a few of these.
It’s just scary.
BTW we don’t acknowledge the red flags because P’s are so damn good at looking straight at you and making up the most incredible, yet believable story.
Also,
My previous BF whom I dated on and off for 5 years was abusive only after he returned form a semester in London, smoked a lot of weed and did a lot of E.
He was not dangerously abusive, I just got fed up. I was not afraid to leave, I believe he was bipolar and suffered from low self-esteem. He cried when I walked out the door.
He still has gone no where with his life. He cannot hold a job for more than a few months and cannot complete college to obtain a degree. I do not believe he is a sociopath. I wish his mother would stop enabling him. He lives with her and has to car.
He does not exploit people, he simply cannot take care of himself.
Deawr Banana,
Welcome to LF and I am glad you are here. Not EVERY jerk is a psychopath, but that doesn’t mean they are not TOXIC to us.
There are several other diagnoses that are applicable to some of these jerks, and though most of us here are not qualified to make a medical or legal diagnosis, and it can’t be done long distance any way. LOL However, yuou might also read about DEPENDENT PERSONALITY TRAITS or disorder.
There are plenty of people who want someone else to “take care” of them and provide all of their living expenses and to take care of their needs without any effort on their part, and some of these people also believe that they are ENTITLED to have this done for them.
I am glad you got away from this man, becasuse ANY person who is not behaving as an ADULT and assuming responsibility for themselves is not a good “relationship risk.”
However, I agree with the author that someone, anyone, who is consistently VIOLENT toward others is likely a psychopath.
OxDrover,
No I still do not believe XBF was/is a sociopath, but STBXP IS!
I am sure you have read my other posts.
I posted a letter from him under “Realities only family members know”
STBXP LIES my whole R with him was lies. When I met him he started the you can trust me lies with how he’d been sodomized for 7 years as a child and how his furst wife cheated on him, and how every woman after that (he was usually engaged quickly too) cheated on him. I felt sorry for him and I was a fixer. And swept me off my feet within 4 weeks. I bought my wedding dress within 2 months.
Hi all:
Well……I have a confession…..
I believe I was conned AGAIN! I was so focused on my offense with the ex S that I opened a door for a business con!
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
BUT….as I say….everything happens for a reason….and OH, do I see this reason! I didn’t follow my OWN protocol on business matters, I let smokescreens cloud my judgement, I allowed others to ‘set the pace and structure’ of the deal. I didn’t learn to keep ALL eyes open and surround myself with open eyes on ALL angles.
I had tunnel vision dealing with my family and the Ex S……and closed my eyes to business associates.
All of my GUTS were screaming at me, and I knew…..but by that time I had gotten hooked…..it was too late…..
So…..tomorrow, back to the old courthouse for more filings. To the sheriffs office for a report.
These are things I know they are NOT expecting.
I spoke with my contact with the ‘authorities’ and he laughed….as I laughed……at myself…..for plonking myself right back in a bad decision making situation. He did let me down easy, saying I had a good heart!
I gave someone the benefit of the doubt…..I gave someone a break……I bought someones story……I fell for a false connection……I tried to ‘pay it forward’ and got screwed.
HHHHEEEEEELLLLLLLOOOOOO!
Won’t do this again!
Oh well….take the lesson and run….raise my own awareness and I certainly won’t beat myself up for this. It’s a valuable lesson indeed! Many lessons here!
I hope I can get out with less damage than I am imagining…..But….I will have to hold my breath for the next 10 days to see.
I will use what I have learned thus far and file ALL legal docs, make ALL reports and go ERIN B on these cons.
If need be, I can pull on my ‘inner sociopath’ and fight fire with fire…….unfortunately, I am on the ‘short end of the stick’ going in.
So……I hope I can pass along this lesson I am learning to all my LF community…….let’s take off our ‘outer’ blinders, open our eyes from the tunnel vision from focusing on the ‘current active’ S’s in our lives and not fall prey to others lurking in the wings to con us from other sides.
We do have to trust…..but we must figure out WHO TO TRUST before ‘giving’ trust out! Trust must be earned, not given.
I am ‘boinking’ myself Oxy……so you don’t have to bother! 🙂
Dear Erin,
Darn it, you stole my thunder BOINKING YOURSELF before I got a chance, and I was saddling up Fat Ass and opening the oven door to get the skillet!!! LOL
Sorry that you got distracted and let this happen, but all I can say is “been there and done that! too!” When we are fighing a “circle saw” of a psychopath, it is a great time for another one to sneak in the back and take a big bite out of our butts!
Any time we are distracted, or weakened in any way, it is a great time for a psychopath to use that to their advantage. I think they have some detector that goes off in the presence of vulnerability of a potential victim.
All we CAN do is to keep the lesson and learn that we must use caution in how we give our trust away. Sometimes I have felt I was drowning and grabbed out at what I thought was a floating log passing by and it turned out to be an alligator!
As far as giving someone a “second chance”—NEVER!!! And as far as even first chances, be cautious CAUTIOUS for a long time with a “worst case” look at things. I try to look at things in a way that I foresee the WORST thing that could happen. Is it worth it to have that happen (RISK vs BENEFIT ratio).
Hang in there, if I had a buck for every bad jusgment I ever made I would be rich instead of so “beautiful! LOL (((hugs)))
Erin:
I would like to use your snake analogy on this one.
The bad thing about being a snake is that there are vultures circling overhead, waiting to swoop down.
Beware of the vultures.
I don’t know the details of the situation. But, hopefully the damage was not too severe.
Oxy and Rosa:
Okay…..at this point I’m really, really beautiful….gorgeous, stunning and HOT! Instead of rich!!!
I guess I didn’t get far enough under a rock in tall enough grass to hide from the vultures.
My better judgement would have been ‘taller grass’ to ‘hide’ under.
Except…..I wasn’t trying to ‘sneak up’ on somebody…..or strike out……
Nonetheless……a burn is still a burn.
WHAT A DOPE!!!
Anywho…..I will take my ‘beauty’ for now and try to make some money instead!!! 🙂
Thanks ladies for the ‘slap upside the head’…..I needed it BIG TIME!!!
Most people think the word “psychopath” means crazy, which is a good thing. Because at least they know that “crazy ” is definitely unpredictable and can’t be trusted. So it is a warning to “look out” and beware..there is a psychopath loose.
Not so with sociopath. I believe “sociopath” is a euphemism for the word psychopath. I did not know what a sociopath was until I came to love fraud and certainly would never have thought they were dangerous. Yet I had read a lot of books on Narcissism, (which I agree, is level one of being a psychopath). Narcissists will eventually progress to psychopath, when the going gets tough.
Prior to love fraud, I thought a sociopath was someone who didn’t fit into society….for a multitude of reasons…none of the reasons being because they are dangerous.
I like the term Cluster B’s because there are so many borderline personality women I know that are ultimately (it just takes longer), devastating to have in ones life. So “Cluster B’s” covers all the people I am intent on staying NC with. And I will go to great lengths to “test ” people these days to make sure I know what I am dealing with.
I said to a long time “friend” last week, “I got picked up for driving an unregistered car on the road today”, (this was a lie), “please don’t tell G”. G rang me ten minutes later ( that is why I picked G, he is bipolar and can’t keep a secret), and said, ” I heard you got picked up for stolen number plates and thrown in the watchhouse”. Then with a little prompting I heard a deluge of lies that my long term “friend ” had said about me in the past.
I went no contact with my long time “friend” immediately.
A Psychopath is a power driven animal that exploits anything that moves for his/her own use or pleasure. And will use any method. murderous or not, that comes to mind.
Sociopath is euphemism for above.
Narcissist is a psychopath in the making.
Borderlines are just as dangerous as all of the above…but they seem to take a lot longer to get around to it. Mainly because they have some extreme feelings, (all negative).
Bipolar s are clowns craving attention as they try all the rides in the circus of life.
And we here on LF are all survivors, just trying to accept what is, one day at a time.