By Ox Drover
In the last few years the national media have picked up several stories of psychopaths using their children as weapons to inflict severe emotional damage to the nurturing parent. In the “Clark Rockefeller” case, the man posing as a member of the Rockefeller family kidnapped his daughter from a supervised visitation and held her hostage for several days before he was found.
Another case featured here in a Lovefraud article was about Dr. Amy Castillo’s three children being murdered by her husband to inflict punishment on her after she had warned the judge that her ex-husband had made this very threat. In spite of this, the judge let the psychopath have unsupervised visitation with these children and the he carried out the threat.
Baby Gabriel
In December of 2009, I saw on Fox News the story of baby Gabriel Johnson, reported missing by his father, Logan McQueary, after the mother, Elizabeth Johnson, had fled with the baby.
Gabriel’s mother, in typical psychopathic style, tried to inflict emotional pain on the baby’s father by threatening in phone calls to McQueary to kill the child. Later, Johnson called the baby’s father and told him that she had smothered the infant to get back at him. This call set off a search for her and/or the infant. Johnson was captured several days later, but there was no sign of the baby, Gabriel. McQueary was granted, after the fact, custody of the missing baby by the courts.
In custody, Johnson told various contradictory tales of what happened to the baby. A person she had met on Craig’s List who had been hired to watch the baby during her flight from law enforcement was contacted and interviewed and indicated the baby appeared ill and may have been drugged during the short time she babysat with him.
Finally, Johnson came up with the story that she had given the baby to a couple in a park and she did not know their names or where they were from. Subsequent evidence seems to back up this story and the child may indeed be in the illegal custody of a couple, who surely by this time, know that they have a kidnapped child, but have not come forward to return the child.
No love for children
While not every psychopathic parent of a child with a nurturing parent goes to the lengths of the above referenced psychopaths to torture the nurturing parents, it is an indication that psychopaths have no love or concern for their children. Psychopaths will use those children to emotionally torture the nurturing parent, who does care about the welfare of the children.
Many parents here on Lovefraud have indicated the emotional torture that they have experienced in concern over their children when the children are in the custody of their psychopathic co-parent. Children are frequently alienated from the nurturing parent, child support is frequently uncollectable, and at best, children are left wondering “Why doesn’t my (parent) love me? What is wrong with me that my (parent) doesn’t come see me?”
It is apparent from the number of times that judges decree that a child should be given visitation with a psychopathic parent, or given into custody of the psychopathic parent, that the family court system does not understand the danger to the children involved in the contact with these destructive people.
It will only be with education of the lawyers and judges about psychopathy that there is even a chance this current situation may change and children may be protected from the violence of emotional and physical abuse by these disordered parents. Parents, in my opinion, should have no rights, but children do and should have “rights” to be protected from abuse from any source, especially psychopathic parents.
Dear Hopeforjoy,
Don’t down grade your smarts, lady! sounds like you have got your chit together all in one sock!!!! Your daughter too, glad she is doing fine and sounds like with some therapy she will be okay and with a mom who gets it and validates her, she has the tools she will need from here on in! Just keep standing by her.
I hope your son will also get it eventually, but at that age it is difficult for a boy who loves his “great dad” who plays sports with him, etc.
Yea, your H will try to smear you but just keep your acting skills honed and don’t let your guard down and boy, is your soon to be X gonna be ANGRY when he gets BLINDSIDED by your attorney, so please be READY for the counter attack and the FIT HE IS GOING TO THROW! Get your financial ducks in a row too because he probably has already been pulling some crap and will sure do so at the MOMENT HE KNOWS what you are doing. Get as much cash as you can conveniently have without him knowing, also wouoldn’t be a bad idea to get a bank safety deposit box as well for originals of important papers or copies. You might even want to get a digital tape recorder to keep in your pocket as a “witness” when he goes into a rage. Might want to get one for your daughter as well.
Looks like to me that you have been V ERY smart about all this and I am absolutely in awe of how well planned you are going things. It is difficult to plan this well when you are a basket case, but you are obviously doing great! I know it is a big shock to find out the man yhou are married to is a monster, but you are a strong and smart woman! So go for the gusto!!!! (((Hugs)))) and God bless.
I’m am trying to be on top of things, husband would say I over-react to things. Will not be a victim of his crap again. There was a fog over me for awhile (maybe thyroid related, it stopped working), now that it’s lifted and I’m no longer under the spell, I’m angry. He thinks he is so clever and is manipulating me right now. Both of your comments about not saying a word about leaving until it’s time, is right on the money! I am going to get a tape recorder, small one I can attach to my clothes, we’ll see how he incriminates his bad self!
Another fun fact in the life of the disordered, cats hate my husband. They will be tame around me and literally attack him. Has anyone else heard of this? I think (lay persons opinion) that they view him as a preditor. They would be right! It could be that they sense evil.
Hopeforjoy:
Step 1….DON”T EVER DOUBT YOURSELF!!!!!
Your sane…..this is natural to question ourselves…but DOUBTING ourselves is what THEY plant in us.
Don’t ‘ask’ for a divorec…….He’s NOT your daddy….
Make your plan…and execute. I don’t suggest remaining in the same house….NOT a good idea to stay with a manipulator during this process…..Hell to be precise!
Stach some money……open up new CC’s…with another address….
Do EVERYTHING COVERTLY!!!!
EVERYTHING….
It sounds like he’s plotting an exit….with his moves….
I hope you delete your history on your computer after you visit her and other sites……NECESSARY!!!
You need to strike silently …….
When your ready and confident you have all info to proceed.
Did you make copies of all keys….on his ring….
make copies of all tax returns you’ve filed together….
Get all account numbers and who owns them…..
Do this while you play the ‘game’ with him….like you are….picture it ……and do it…..
If he suspects you….you MUST COVER ALL TRACKS….ALL of them….
NEVER EVER Taake any chances…..if you think he’ll find out….renegotiate your thoughts….
Have all mail go to your mothers….
Don’t keep receipts around….like from your overnight mail stuff to attorney….
If he has underage photos of MINORS….under 18…..
Quicken up your exit strategy and go talk to the police or FBI…..
This might be your grounds for a TPO……keeping him away from your daughter…
your son will probably stay with the Disneyland father….but will soon see……
Boys have an inate need to know their fathers…..until they get crapped on too……
But…it sounds as if your in a good mindset….have made some good choices….and are already in prep mode and know what to do…..
Stay safe and the slightest physical abuse….CALL THE COPS and have him removed from the home…..
I would suggest doing all you can to stay in the home…..and get him to leave…..
Good luck…..and keep the education up.!
XXOO
EB
EB,
Thanks for all the advice, now is such a critical time where anything can happen. I will be so glad when this is over, just want some peace.
It’s so strange that H can joke and act so normal around us. Smiles and jokes, loves to tell jokes. Yesterday daughter said no way would she ever spend time with him if we divorced, even if her brother were with. He has been trying to be so nice to her, glad she can see through it.
H was even trying to establish that I was having an affair. Accused me of having someone in the tub with me while he was at hockey with son. Like what? He said he was joking. Then will say in front of the kids “mom’s going to dump me for a younger man. And when I went to Kohl’s one night with a friend, said in front of daughter “oh, so you really did go shopping”. Daughter is like, dad where else would she be? I told him to stop saying those things and he did. What kind of ground work is he trying? Now that I know everything is a manipulation, I see right through him.
He wants to have wine tonight, that means he is going to want to have sex with me. Can see right through that one too. Lord. I still love the man, but I can detach. I wish I could just turn off the fact that I still love him. I kept on my computer, the mental hospital he wanted to send me to, (had it on a flash drive), so I remember to not fall for it!!!!!!
Hope:
Careful with the wine tonight…..let him drink most of the bottle…..just let it appear your drinking it…..and enjoying your night with him….
Pour it in that planter or down the sink, bit by bit…a plant is PERFECT…no hint of disposal, each time you flit around….and I assure you…he’ll be monitoring your drinking and wanting to see you drink lots….
Mine would say….what’s the matter don’t you like the wine….so that’s when I started pouring it out….and acting goofy after the 2nd bottle. he was drunk….I was stone sober!
You know the gig.
WHile your still with him….you’ll have to sex him once in a while….if this is ‘normal’ for you guys….
I got to the point I couldn’t kiss him or look at him….so I ALL OF A SUDDEN said…let’s do it doggy style….so I didn’t have to look at him….
a new position made him end quicker and I just played like he was the king of my world….(as I cried the whole time) with lights out….occasionaly, I would light the candle across the room to head him off…..that I wasn’t into it….
I could wipe the tears across my forehead and make it look like sweat…..if he said what’s wrong….I’d say…Oh, baby, you wiped me out! I never sweat.
As disgusting as it is….to have sex with em, once your on to them…..in this position….it PROVES to them, they still got ya.
Caution…..DON”T GET EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED…..MAKE SURE OF THIS!!!!! Think of how disgusting he is….in your mind, as you verbally cry out how wonderful he is….Oh, baby, baby….yadayada…..
This is why you can’t be ‘altered’, or drinking….it uninhibits our emotions and opens up our minds to ‘talk’…..
You’ve already figured out ‘what’ he is…..so be careful NOT to get sucked back in…..
What your hub is doing, mine did to me……
Project, blame, accuse and tried to set me up to have me committed…..
YES….DO keep this in mind……
If there is any way you can figure out to use condoms…..DO it….
If your on the pill….go to the gyno and tell him your gyno said your to old to take them….and you must use condomes……
You need to protect yourself from anything he may be ‘carrying’……
Stay on your BC….but lie to him and USE CONDOMS…..
Figure out a reason….
He may already have an STD…..and this is why he’s accusing you of fooling around….he’s trying to cover himself….
Turn every accusation around and it’ll tell you exactly what he’s doing…..don’t take any of them personally, (you know what your doing and not doing)….don’t defend…..just ‘take notes’ on every accusation…..it’s a roadmap to his deceit.
Be careful and be cautious……and KEEP YOUR HEAD ON STRAIGHT!!!!
Hope:
But careful and no chances….
MAKE YOUR OWN OPPORTUNITIES GIRL!!!!!
I am amazed, it’s like you know what is happening. No way I can get emotionally involved now, but they are so good at what they do.
H is so careful these days, I’m sure his acting out is only with himself. I went to my gyno last week and got tested, just to be sure.
I think the plants need watering tonight!
Erin Brock,
What happened when you said you wanted him out? What kind of storm can I expect? My therapist said I’ll see the real person under the facade…
Can you share your experience with me? He’s watching tv so I have some time before I turn into a zombie.
Thanks
I do….because darlen….I lived it!!!!
Good luck tonight….
I’m sending you some fresh EB MOJO!
He got violent, pushed me down…..and i told him he MUSt BE GONE BY THE TIME I GOT HOME…..or I’d call the police…
I never ‘announced’ I was filing…..and actually….it was HE who filed……he wanted himself to look like the good guy, trying to get away from the crazy lady…..
You don’t have to ANNOUNCE anything……
Is he violent?
You also don;t have to ‘ask’ for a divorce……
When YOUR ready…..you can just have him served…….and hopefully when he’s OUT OF THE HOME….already…..
If he’s violent…..call the cops and go file for a restaining order……
This is the optimal way…..
He was a terrible father, bad husband and he KNEW what he had done…..I NEVER told him what the kids shared with me…..
Why throw the kids under the bus……
Got him out……
After I was released from Hospital the cops came twice in a few months…..He KNEW weallmeant business……
I was just too sick to take charge…..
Once he pushed me down and was physical with me……THAT WAS IT!!!!!
I cut him off for a few months…..then he kidnapped my kids…..
We had been togethr 28 years…..so I don’t ever think he thought I was serious……even to this day…..
Iv’e been NC for 2 years
I CUT HIM OFF…..BOOM!
Never any regrets, or doubts…..
I doubted myself……but quickly had enough abuse to pull from that I came back around to sanity……
GOod luck.