• Menu
  • Skip to right header navigation
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths – narcissists in relationships

How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

  • Search
  • Cart
  • My Account
  • Contact
  • Register
  • Log in
  • Search
  • Cart
  • My Account
  • Contact
  • Register
  • Log in
  • About
  • Talk to Donna
  • Videos
  • Store
  • Blog
  • News
  • Podcasts
  • Webinars
  • About
  • Talk to Donna
  • Videos
  • Store
  • Blog
  • News
  • Podcasts
  • Webinars

PTSD: That was then, this is now

You are here: Home / Recovery from a sociopath / PTSD: That was then, this is now

May 16, 2009 //  by Liane Leedom, M.D.//  219 Comments

Tweet
Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares

According to the National Institutes of Health website “Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, is an anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to a terrifying event or ordeal in which grave physical harm occurred or was threatened. Traumatic events that may trigger PTSD include violent personal assaults, natural or human-caused disasters, accidents, or military combat.”

Signs and Symptoms of PTSD are grouped into three categories:

1. Re-experiencing symptoms:
• Flashbacks—reliving the trauma over and over, including physical symptoms like a racing heart or sweating
• Bad dreams
• Frightening thoughts.
Re-experiencing symptoms may cause problems in a person’s everyday routine. They can start from the person’s own thoughts and feelings. Words, objects, or situations that are reminders of the event can also trigger re-experiencing.

2. Avoidance symptoms:
• Staying away from places, events, or objects that are reminders of the experience
• Feeling emotionally numb
• Feeling strong guilt, depression, or worry
• Losing interest in activities that were enjoyable in the past
• Having trouble remembering the dangerous event.
Things that remind a person of the traumatic event can trigger avoidance symptoms. These symptoms may cause a person to change his or her personal routine. For example, after a bad car accident, a person who usually drives may avoid driving or riding in a car.

3. Hyperarousal symptoms:
• Being easily startled
• Feeling tense or “on edge”
• Having difficulty sleeping, and/or having angry outbursts.
Hyperarousal symptoms are usually constant, instead of being triggered by things that remind one of the traumatic event. They can make the person feel stressed and angry. These symptoms may make it hard to do daily tasks, such as sleeping, eating, or concentrating.

Unfortunately whenever a psychological experience is dubbed “a disorder” people get the impression that the person who has this experience is “defective” or “crazy” or of poor character. The thought that PTSD symptoms are related to some core defect in character/personality serves to further increase the sufferer’s anxiety and level of symptoms. Not wanting to consider any predisposing factors to these symptoms may also prevent a person from doing real soul searching.

There is one main reason to emphasize that PTSD symptoms constitute a disorder. That is that the symptoms greatly impair a person’s ability to function. They also rob people of love and well-being. Overwhelming anxiety is not conducive to well-being or loving relationships.

Because PTSD symptoms are debilitating we have to address them, face them and ultimately conquer them. That means acknowledging the other fears/concerns that go along with having these symptoms:

1. Am I crazy?
2. Am I defective?
3. Will I ever be normal again?
4. Why did this happen to me?
5. How can I prevent this from happening again?
6. Can I trust myself?

To start to recover, notice that if you reduce PTSD down to its core essence it is simply difficulty processing that the trauma was then and today is now. For people whose PTSD is related to an experience with a sociopath, the problem is that the sociopath may not be gone. The then and now is blurred. The worst things done by the sociopath are in the past and there may be protections in place but the sociopath is still around. Sometimes that source of trauma is the other parent of beloved children.

Recovery in such a context means having a clear head to really sort out what was then and what is now. Next week we will consider other roadblocks to distinguishing then from now.

Category: Recovery from a sociopath

Previous Post: « LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: How can I help my children not suffer?
Next Post: BOOK REVIEW: The Gift of Betrayal »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. one/joy_step_at_a_time

    May 9, 2010 at 10:37 pm

    i am doing some reaserch for a position i am going to apply for, and wanted to see what Paulo freire had to say about creativity…but i got sidetrakced – wonderfully so….some wonderful nuggets:

    “Looking at the past must only be a means of understanding more clearly what and who they are so that they can more wisely build the future.”
    — Paulo Freire (Pedagogy of the Oppressed)

    “For apart from inquiry, apart from the praxis, individuals cannot be truly human. Knowledge emerges only through invention and re-invention, through the restless, impatient, continuing, hopeful inquiry human beings pursue in the world, with the world, and with each other.”
    — Paulo Freire (Pedagogy of the Oppressed)

    “It is necessary that the weakness of the powerless is transformed into a force capable of announcing justice. For this to happen, a total denouncement of fatalism is necessary. We are transformative beings and not beings for accommodation.”
    — Paulo Freire (Pedagogy of the Oppressed)

    “It is not the unloved who initiate disaffection, but those who cannot love because they love only themselves. It is not the helpless, subject to terror, who initiate terror, but the violent, who with their power create the concrete situation which begets the ‘rejects of life.’ It is not the tyrannized who initiate despotism, but the tyrants. It is not those whose humanity is denied them who negate humankind, but those who denied that humanity (thus negating their own as well). Force is used not by those who have become weak under the preponderance of the strong, but by the strong who have emasculated them.”
    — Paulo Freire (Pedagogy of the Oppressed)

    “One cannot expect positive results from an educational or political action program which fails to respect the particular view of the world held by the people. Such a program constitutes cultural invasion, good intentions notwithstanding.”
    — Paulo Freire (Pedagogy of the Oppressed)

    “The radical, committed to human liberation, does not become the prisoner of a ‘circle of certainty’ within which reality is also imprisoned. On the contrary, the more radical the person is, the more fully he or she enters into reality so that, knowing it better, he or she can better transform it. This individual is not afraid to confront, to listen, to see the world unveiled. This person is not afraid to meet the people or to enter into dialogue with them. This person does not consider himself or herself the proprietor of history or of all people, or the liberator of the oppressed; but he or she does commit himself or herself, within history, to fight at their side.”
    — Paulo Freire (Pedagogy of the Oppressed)

    and lastly….”If the structure does not permit dialogue the structure must be changed”
    — Paulo Freire

    Log in to Reply
  2. one/joy_step_at_a_time

    May 9, 2010 at 10:44 pm

    Rene Descartes:

    Divide each difficulty into as many parts as is feasible and necessary to resolve it.

    Log in to Reply
  3. one/joy_step_at_a_time

    May 9, 2010 at 10:46 pm

    Will Rogers:

    If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

    Log in to Reply
  4. silvermoon

    May 9, 2010 at 11:33 pm

    Fast is good, accuracy is everything
    Wyatt Earp

    Log in to Reply
  5. one/joy_step_at_a_time

    May 9, 2010 at 11:38 pm

    Spaths; can’t live with them, can’t kill them with impunity
    One Step

    Log in to Reply
  6. silvermoon

    May 9, 2010 at 11:43 pm

    heheheheheheheheheheh!

    Log in to Reply
  7. one/joy_step_at_a_time

    May 9, 2010 at 11:44 pm

    🙂

    Log in to Reply
  8. silvermoon

    May 9, 2010 at 11:55 pm

    These days tumble on and it becomes more and more clear that the whole thing was a very bad situation.

    This has been a very long weekend. I just want a break. I don’t know what it means to me, really, but I want one.

    I guess its on the same aisle as common sense…..

    Great quote, who is this guy?

    “The radical, committed to human liberation, does not become the prisoner of a ’circle of certainty’ within which reality is also imprisoned. On the contrary, the more radical the person is, the more fully he or she enters into reality so that, knowing it better, he or she can better transform it. This individual is not afraid to confront, to listen, to see the world unveiled. This person is not afraid to meet the people or to enter into dialogue with them. This person does not consider himself or herself the proprietor of history or of all people, or the liberator of the oppressed; but he or she does commit himself or herself, within history, to fight at their side.”
    — Paulo Freire (Pedagogy of the Oppressed)

    Log in to Reply
  9. one/joy_step_at_a_time

    May 9, 2010 at 11:58 pm

    Paulo Friere was an educator and critical theorist on educational pedagogy. a brazillian. died in 1997. VERY influential in teaching circles.

    Log in to Reply
  10. silvermoon

    May 10, 2010 at 12:01 am

    Wow. Very interesting guy!

    Here’s another one that amused me….

    We consider that any man who can fiddle all through one of those Virginia Reels without losing his grip, may be depended upon in any kind of musical emergency.”
    Mark Twain

    Log in to Reply
« Older Comments
Newer Comments »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Primary Sidebar

Shortcuts to Lovefraud information

Shortcuts to the Lovefraud information you're looking for:

Explaining everyday sociopaths

Is your partner a sociopath?

How to leave or divorce a sociopath

Recovery from a sociopath

Senior Sociopaths

Love Fraud - Donna Andersen's story

Share your story and help change the world

Lovefraud Blog categories

  • Explaining sociopaths
    • Female sociopaths
    • Scientific research
    • Workplace sociopaths
    • Book reviews
  • Seduced by a sociopath
    • Targeted Teens and 20s
  • Sociopaths and family
    • Law and court
  • Recovery from a sociopath
    • Spiritual and energetic recovery
    • For children of sociopaths
    • For parents of sociopaths
  • Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales
    • Media sociopaths
  • Lovefraud Continuing Education

Footer

Inside Lovefraud

  • Author profiles
  • Blog categories
  • Post archives by year
  • Media coverage
  • Press releases
  • Visitor agreement

Your Lovefraud

  • Register for Lovefraud.com
  • Sign up for the Lovefraud Newsletter
  • How to comment
  • Guidelines for comments
  • Become a Lovefraud CE Affiliate
  • Lovefraud Affiliate Dashboard
  • Contact Lovefraud
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Copyright © 2025 Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths - narcissists in relationships · All Rights Reserved · Powered by Mai Theme