According to the National Institutes of Health website “Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, is an anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to a terrifying event or ordeal in which grave physical harm occurred or was threatened. Traumatic events that may trigger PTSD include violent personal assaults, natural or human-caused disasters, accidents, or military combat.”
Signs and Symptoms of PTSD are grouped into three categories:
1. Re-experiencing symptoms:
• Flashbacks—reliving the trauma over and over, including physical symptoms like a racing heart or sweating
• Bad dreams
• Frightening thoughts.
Re-experiencing symptoms may cause problems in a person’s everyday routine. They can start from the person’s own thoughts and feelings. Words, objects, or situations that are reminders of the event can also trigger re-experiencing.
2. Avoidance symptoms:
• Staying away from places, events, or objects that are reminders of the experience
• Feeling emotionally numb
• Feeling strong guilt, depression, or worry
• Losing interest in activities that were enjoyable in the past
• Having trouble remembering the dangerous event.
Things that remind a person of the traumatic event can trigger avoidance symptoms. These symptoms may cause a person to change his or her personal routine. For example, after a bad car accident, a person who usually drives may avoid driving or riding in a car.
3. Hyperarousal symptoms:
• Being easily startled
• Feeling tense or “on edge”
• Having difficulty sleeping, and/or having angry outbursts.
Hyperarousal symptoms are usually constant, instead of being triggered by things that remind one of the traumatic event. They can make the person feel stressed and angry. These symptoms may make it hard to do daily tasks, such as sleeping, eating, or concentrating.
Unfortunately whenever a psychological experience is dubbed “a disorder” people get the impression that the person who has this experience is “defective” or “crazy” or of poor character. The thought that PTSD symptoms are related to some core defect in character/personality serves to further increase the sufferer’s anxiety and level of symptoms. Not wanting to consider any predisposing factors to these symptoms may also prevent a person from doing real soul searching.
There is one main reason to emphasize that PTSD symptoms constitute a disorder. That is that the symptoms greatly impair a person’s ability to function. They also rob people of love and well-being. Overwhelming anxiety is not conducive to well-being or loving relationships.
Because PTSD symptoms are debilitating we have to address them, face them and ultimately conquer them. That means acknowledging the other fears/concerns that go along with having these symptoms:
1. Am I crazy?
2. Am I defective?
3. Will I ever be normal again?
4. Why did this happen to me?
5. How can I prevent this from happening again?
6. Can I trust myself?
To start to recover, notice that if you reduce PTSD down to its core essence it is simply difficulty processing that the trauma was then and today is now. For people whose PTSD is related to an experience with a sociopath, the problem is that the sociopath may not be gone. The then and now is blurred. The worst things done by the sociopath are in the past and there may be protections in place but the sociopath is still around. Sometimes that source of trauma is the other parent of beloved children.
Recovery in such a context means having a clear head to really sort out what was then and what is now. Next week we will consider other roadblocks to distinguishing then from now.
Greenfern:
You have been seeing a Narcissist for your PTSD!! Now Thats funny!! No wonder your PTSD is triggered!! lol Oh well, at least you didn’t take five years to work it out! Progress not perfection…
First of all, id like to say HELLO to all of u, since i am new here. I am still reading articles and comments and trying to get closer.
To Greenfern:
I think that one has to deliberate ownself from false/fake explanations. Do not enter a lie, a re not a liar! U are free person, free to choose what suites u the best, especially if u are paying for it. So, if i were u, i would simply cancel the appointment without fixing a term for new one.
U are having that right, and u are not obligated to anyone to explain ur decisions.
Stay well !
Punto.
Greenfern:
I agree with Tilly. You have been seeing a narcissist for your PTSD.
This woman does not care about you when you are sitting right in front of her ON YOUR TIME.
She takes calls during YOUR session, goes off topic, talks about herself, etc.
Choose your exit strategy, and get out ASAP.
P.S. You already stated in your earlier post that this “therapist” has no problem talking about her other patients.
If you leave her thinking it is HER fault that you are not coming back, she will be talking about YOU, too.
I’ve seen these types of people in action. Ugly.
That is why I suggested a tactic that would not “ruffle her feathers”, if you know what I mean.
We all know how fragile the narcissist’s ego is.
P.S.S. It is not even a lie to say you can no longer afford her services.
Hell, she’s taking calls and telling stories on YOUR TIME!!
Greenfern…I “fired” one a few years ago…and sent her a letter and final check, telling her she was fired. And told her I had joint legal custody and the right to participate in medical decisions, so she was forbidden to talk to my daughter again.
I had her as a “referral” from someone I used to think I trusted…to counsel my daughter.
She was biased…after the third session, my daughter said: “I don’t want to see her anymore…she’s taking Mom’s side!”
She was supposed to be taking my daughter’s “side”. And apparently had no clue about personality disorders….apparently she herself was very recently divorced with a preteen daughter…plus she was incompetent.
Dear ThornBud,
Welcome to LoveFraud, glad you made your way here. This site has an amazing stock of wonderful articles archived and I suggest that you start out reading them ALL (it will take a while!) Just the articles themselves will educate you, and KNOWLEDGE=POWER. Taking back your power is the first wonderful step on healing!
This is also a safe place to post, no flamming and nastiness and wonderful, understanding folks who GET IT! Again, welcome and hang around a while!
Post Traumatic Stress figured heavily once I was abruptly “devalued and discarded” by the S. For about a month or so, I was gripped by this tightness in my stomach, a serious difficulty feeling relaxed. Breathing was tight, nights were given up to staying wide awake, extensive worrying, not to mention a stream of other emotions that gripped me. It was so intense that I ended up researching everything I could on the net!! This was around the same time I found the help here at LoveFraud. I thought that anyone that is reading this thread might like to know what was helpful in my own process of recovery.
I found a clever book that came highly recommended: “The EFT Manual.” At first glance though, it made me roll my eyes thinking this is just more craziness to add to what I am already experiencing….! But as others have mentioned, R.E.M. – rapid eye movement therapy (which EFT utilizes in part) has a very helpful effect of bringing the victim back into the safety of the “now”! I decided to give it a try. These are simple techniques that help take the worry thoughts and replace them with direct sensory reminders of being here in the present. I did these at night,sometimes in the morning and often found immediate results! I could breathe easier afterwards. So this relates to the importance of what Dr. Leedom is outlining here, the awareness of “what was then” and “what is now” in combatting the stress.
The other thing I found useful was something I may have read somewhere. (Sorry, it gets lost in a haze, I had checked hundreds of websites… I am now about a year into my recovery…) But through all the searching, the idea did finally stay with me that the hyper-arousal or hypervigilence, the state of being extra alert is the body’s way of safe-guarding itself. In fact it is a good thing in this respect. It is a reaction that is hard to fight since the body seems to take over and keep us in this highly alert (fearful) state. I feel horrible about those that are describing children experiencing this as they are most vulnerable in many ways, at least this is a clue that help is needed. As adults though, we have abilities to turn this around.
Hypervigilence is not comfortable at all but in retrospect, it seems like it was, in fact, necessary. I say this because it occurred to me that… let’s say we are living back thousands of years ago, perhaps living in a forrest somewhere. Something traumatic happens, a caveman S. or N. abuses us, or perhaps a wolf tries to attack us. The truth is, those that would have survived these encounters were the ones that stayed ALERT! Your chances of surviving out in the forrest after that kind of trauma are much less if you are drained of energy, head down (in a daze), depressed, melancholy and wilted… NO! The better survivor’s reaction would be to STAY alert until the knowledge of danger has passed. Darwin’s theory of evolution would support this reaction as becoming ingrained I think, those that survive eventually over centuries have this built in reaction as part of the body’s defense.
With this understanding, and sensing drugs were not the answer for me personally, that nature was simply at work, I was able to ride this out. Again, it points to what Dr.Leedom outlines, the importance here is distinguishing between danger passed and present danger, and being alert enough to know the difference. The emotional damage of an S is extremely disorienting, and, if it is ongoing, the stress will be too. But once out, there are ways to re-experience peace. In my case, I sought help from friends, family, and ultimately through prayer. In addition to the techniques found in “The EFT manual” and the great help from this site, I was was able to slowly get back on my feet. For those that contribute here, I remain very, very grateful. I hope some of this might be of help to thers.
Sincerely,
PressEject
Dear Presseject, glad to see you back, you make a point here that I totally AGREE WITH—and actually I would take it a bit further and say that the P-genes and behavior in a primitive time would have been a decided ADVANTAGE to survival, because if you are the meanest or sneakyest guy on the block you will get the food in times of shortage, and get the most women, etc. If P-ness had never been some kind of advantage it would have died out zillions of years ago.
Even today, in some cases, being a P is a decided advantage when it comes to interactions with others, as having no conscience, the P has no problem pushing the others out of the life boat in order to survive, or killing them and eating them, where most of the rest of us would not do that.
BTW, have missed your posts, thanks for coming back.
Thanks Oxy… well there you have it… we can now look far back in time at both the primitive predatory instincts (selfish, self serving, survivalist) and see the corresponding victim’s auto-response of self-protecting hypervigilence to help guard against further attack. This seems to be an age-old dance, but not one in which I would conclude one has any advantage over the other. By this I mean a spiritual advantage. The P’s S’s and N’s do not have any advantage in this area, at least as far as I can tell. Any “victory” of theirs is certainly shallow. I’d much rather be who I am, with all my weaknesses and imperfections than to be left to live out my days robbed of a conscience and a heart.
This is what I have experienced personally and what has shaped me and I don’t think I have any great advantage with this knowledge either. As I continue to move away from my awful encounter, as the months have passed, my judgments of others has softened. Not to the point where I have become ripe for any more abuse, but softened to the extent I would rather nurture my own loving heart than to dwell on past damages it has suffered. The philosophy that there are no victims can only take place when a life-long state of hypervigilence subsides and no longer interferes. This too I believe is in agreement with Dr. Leedom’s point of becoming aware of “what was then” and “what is now” as the focal point for emotional recovery.
PressEject
Dear Presseject,
I totally agree with you. I think the big “win” fo rus is that though we pay a high price in “tuition” to the University of Hard Knocks, if we “pass” the classes and “graduate” we come out wiser and stronger and more spiritually grounded.
I think it is only by learning the lessons from the past, and to complete the grieving process for those things we lost, that we can move on to a better life in the future–the NOW and the TOMORROW.
I’m glad you are doing well, and that is th e point of all of this “soul searching” and learning.
Hello Everyone,
Update to my earliest post about terminating therapy. Last night I had my last session, I have told my therapist about not returning.
She was wondering if she put to much pressure on me about making changes; I was not quite explaining to her why. I did not want to get into it. I was not open and honest about my reasons; but in the same time I have voiced my frustrations in the last few times about the way she runs her sessions. I feel like I have done my part. I have basically took the “graceful” out and said that I needed to re-asses.
I feel a bit relieved, yet sad. My first therapist has passed away suddently after working with her for 4.5 years. Then I started seeing this therapist; but it’s not working as I anticipated. Perhaps I can try to see if I can fly solo and take on the challenges by myself. Perhaps I have gained enough insight and strenght. Perhaps not. If so I can always try again. Right?
🙂