Here’s a thought that may surprise you: The laws of physics can propel your emotional recovery from betrayal. How? Energy is at the core of modern physics. Energy is also the core of our own life force. Practices like mindfulness, tapping and reiki clear and nourish our energy, strengthening our life force and promoting our recovery.
It was Albert Einstein who formulated the basic understanding of energy with his famous formula, E = mc2. “E” stands for energy, and “m” stands for matter. (C2 is the speed of light.) So, Einstein said energy and matter equal each other. They are the same.
“What we have called matter is energy, whose vibration has been so lowered as to be perceptible to the senses,” Einstein wrote. “There is no matter.”
This means everything is energy, including us. Therefore, we can employ energy to heal emotional and physical wounds — including those caused by betrayal and narcissistic abuse.
Energy beings and energy fields
According to Einstein, our bodies are energy, vibrating at a very low rate. But that’s not all. Our bodies are also surrounded by energetic fields.
You may have heard of the aura. This is an energy field that starts within the body and extends beyond it — usually for about two feet in all directions, although the size can change. Auras have seven layers, and some people can see them.
Although the concept of an aura is associated with traditional Eastern philosophies, the basic idea is recognized by science. The aura is called the biofield by the National Institute of Health (NIH). It’s defined as “a massless field, not necessarily electromagnetic, that surrounds and permeates living bodies and affects the body.”
Fields are recognized by Western medicine. The electrocardiogram (ECG) measures the heart’s electrical fields. The electroencephalogram (EEG) measures the brain’s electrical field.
According to the NIH Office of Complementary and Alternative Medicine, energy medicine is a valid healing modality.
Energy disturbances
Barbara Brennan, author of Hands of Light, can perceive energy fields. In fact, she believes anyone can learn to do it.
Brennan can also see disturbances in people’s energy fields.
She explains that when we experience childhood traumas, disturbances are created in our energy fields. I would add that these energetic disturbances are created any time during our lives when we experience trauma, disappointment or betrayal.
Brennan describes these disturbances as “blobs” of consciousness or energy. She explains that we don’t want to feel the pain of our experiences, so we create a way to hide them inside of us. Consequently, the disturbances get stuck in our energy fields.
These stuck disturbances have two effects:
- They create blockages prevent our life energies from flowing properly.
- They draw more experiences to our lives that match the energy of the disturbance.
That’s why when we are betrayed by one sociopath, and don’t release the emotional pain, we often encounter another sociopath.
Betrayal and other painful experiences create disturbances in our energy fields. Left unaddressed, the disturbances can turn into physical illness.
Too much stress
Our prehistoric ancestors stayed alive by being able to react quickly to threats. That’s what the fight of flight response is all about. When the brain perceives a threat, adrenaline and cortisol flood your body and blood drains from the large thinking part of your brain. Your body prepares to respond physically to the threat.
However, this was designed to be a short-term stress response, and when the threat was over, the body was supposed to return to normal. Today, unfortunately, many people feel stressed all the time. Their bodies are always flooded with adrenaline and cortisol, which leads to ulcers, cancer and other diseases.
So now we have two problems — stress and blockages. Both problems can be addressed by healing the energy.
How? I use three approaches — EFT Tapping, guided mindfulness, which I call “deep emotional release,” and reiki. I’ll describe each one.
EFT Tapping
Tapping — formally called Emotional Freedom Techniques — is funny looking but effective. You tap with your fingers on specific soothing acupressure points on your face and upper body, while verbally describing your feelings about an incident that has upset or damaged you.
EFT Tapping is described as a stress reduction technique. It would be more accurate to call it a stress elimination technique.
I participated in a week-long training on EFT tapping presented by Dawson Church, an author and founder of the EFT Universe certification program. Church explained that a small, almond-shaped structure in the brain called the amygdala is crucial for the fight or flight response. It controls emotions, particularly fear and anxiety.
The amygdala responds to specific sensory experiences. For example, if your partner assaulted you, the amygdala remembers an expression of rage on his face or the smell of alcohol on her breath. This sensory experience caused fear, and the fear was lodged in your body’s memory — the energy field.
To release the traumatic memory through tapping, you would tap on the acupressure points with your fingers while repeating a statement about the experience, such as, “the rage on his face.”
This is essentially a form of exposure therapy — you’re envisioning the fearful experience while soothing your nervous system by tapping. You do this until the emotional charge of the incident diminishes — and then disappears.
Guided mindfulness
My colleague, Dr. Liane Leedom, developed the only recovery protocol specifically designed for survivors of narcissistic abuse. It’s called Skills training for recovery from narcissistic abuse, gaslighting and toxic stress, and it’s available exclusively at Lovefraud.
The program is based on dialectical behavioral training (DBT). DBT is based on mindfulness.
Mindfulness, Dr. Leedom explains, is paying attention to the present moment, on purpose and without judgment. Through mindfulness, you objectively observe all your sensory input, including how your body feels, what your brain is thinking and what you’re experiencing in your life.
I take mindfulness a step further with guided mindfulness. I have a gift — the ability to feel your emotional and energetic turmoil along with you.
Together, we bring a particular disturbance to awareness and acknowledge it. Simply by feeling the disturbance, without trying to suppress it, the energy shifts and dissipates. And then it’s gone.
I call this technique “deep emotional release.” It enables you to feel lighter and more peaceful.
Reiki
Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that is also based on energy. The word “reiki” literally means spiritual energy. The technique was developed in the early 20th century and is based on the idea of a universal life force energy that flows through all living things.
This energy is called “ki” in Japanese, “chi” or “qi” in Chinese, “prana” in Sanskrit or the “Holy Ghost” in Christianity. Or, it is simply called “light” or “spirit.”
The goal of reiki is to dissolve any obstructions to the natural movement of your life energy. Blocks are caused by stress, trauma, negative emotions, poor lifestyle choices or dysfunctional beliefs. Removing them allows your energy to flow again.
When I offer reiki, I am simply a conduit, channeling the energy to you. If we are working in person, I hold my hands in specific positions on or above your body, and the energy passes through me to you. If we are working remotely, I envision you lying on a treatment table and go through the same process.
According to Penelope Quest, author of Reiki for Life, “Reiki supports and accelerates the body’s own natural ability to heal itself, helping to alleviate pain and relieve other symptoms while cleansing the body of poisons and toxins.”
I am not healing you — you are healing you. The innate intelligence of your body and spirit use the reiki energy in whatever manner is most conducive to your healing.
Scientific evidence
Plenty of people are skeptical about these alternative methods of healing — possibly including you. For a long time, people talked about the results of tapping, mindfulness and reiki, but there were few objective studies on how or why they worked.
Well, that’s changed. Hundreds of scientific research papers have now documented the effectiveness of energy approaches on a multitude of mental and physical disorders. You can read many of them here:
Energy Medicine Research Bibliography
If you’d like to understand the big picture of how energy affects us, and how we affect energy, I recommend the book, Mind to Matter, by Dawson Church. Here’s how the author describes his work,
“This book examines the science behind the creative powers of the mind. It reviews the studies that show, step-by-step, exactly how our minds create material form.”
We are all extraordinary, and we all have the power to heal. When you work with the healing energies of mindfulness, tapping and reiki, true recovery is possible.
Next: True emotional recovery from the sociopath
