By | April 19, 2012 41 Comments

Red Flags of Love Fraud: Best ever book on sociopathy

Well, let me say it outright: Donna Andersen’s latest book, Red Flags of Love Fraud, is hands-down the best book I’ve ever read on the subject of who sociopaths are, everything you need to know about them, and everything you need to know to reduce your risk of being violated by them.

What a riveting book this is. I had a seriously hard putting it down, and never did for long. Andersen intermixes comprehensive information about every aspect of the sociopath’s tendencies and modus operandi, with countless fascinating, concise case examples of sociopaths exhibiting their behaviors—that is, showing exactly what they look like—and how their victims experience their transgressions.

At the heart of this fantastic book are Andersen’s ten “red flag” signs that you are involved with a sociopath. The signs she identifies are spot-on, and explained and developed with her usual unmatched clarity and captivating narrative skills.

It’s no exaggeration, nor is it grandiose, to say that reading this book will make of you an “expert” about sociopaths—it’s really that comprehensively informative. But again, the book’s greater accomplishment is to arm you with every applicable tool and insight available to identify the sociopath and jettison him or her from your life, before he or she upends yours.

By now we know that Donna Andersen knows sociopaths as intimately and completely as anyone out there; my personal view is that she writes about them, and educates about them, as she does in this, her newest, spellbinding book, like no one out there.

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Wow Steve! Thank you so much! I really appreciate your recommendation – because you certainly know what these characters are all about.

Ox Drover

I agree Steve! I think donna has a PhD in psychopathy!


I totally agree! I was stunned when I read it. All the characteristics and manipulations were EXACTLY what I experienced. I wish I knew then what I know now–It would have saved me from the worst 10 months of my life.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Donna.


I’ll be honest, I was not in a great hurry to buy this book because I am on a tight budget and also have read so many books on sociopathy and personality disorders. I was thinking, do I really NEED this book right now? I decided I’d get it, once I had the money. I read Donna’s other book and thought it was great, so I was really looking forward to reading this one.

I ordered the book recently and it arrived this week, and I’ve read it — so now I can comment!

What I like about it is its conciseness and comprehensiveness. So many of the other books I have read get bogged down in details or go off in unclear directions, or are incomplete. Donna’s book is to the point, the examples are long enough to be useful but short enough that we move on quickly from one thing to another. The cumulative effect of this is a lot of information condensed and packed into a book that is easy to read in a very short time, and the information sticks with you. It is indeed comprehensive. I highly recommend it.

As well, there is a good balance between objectivity/observation, and the real emotions of the individuals illustrating the examples. It is clear that sociopaths absolutely affect our emotions, and the victims of sociopaths are not put down for having emotional reactions to being deceived.

Another thing about this book which fits it into a unique category is that it is written NOT by a therapist, NOT by an ivory tower academic, NOT by a lawyer-turned-crusader-for-justice (all observers), but by someone who has lived through this experience. And the examples are the real voices of people who have lived through this experience. These voices are missing in all of the other books. Donna’s examples and stories are real and verbatim and included as witnesses speaking, in a way, directly to the reader — unlike the made-up or composite examples in the other books.

And you know, that makes a difference. I know that these are real people who have lived through something very much like what I lived through — in many cases, something worse.

Finally, Donna makes it all believable in a logical way — nothing about any of the included examples seems fantastical or exaggerated. And as we know, being “believed” is one of the things which frequently does not happen to us, adding insult to injury.

This book is definitely a valuable contribution to the literature.


I honestly can barely wait to have the means to get both of Donna’s books. Oddly enough, I wanted to purchase the first book while I was still with the exspath and he always found some way to nix the purchase. He was busy paying for his BDSM sex parties, I guess….lots of great catering at those gatherings! Sheeeeeeeeeeyit.

20 years – thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind words.

It is so important to get this information out – I hope people will read the book before they get involved, and avoid all the heartache.

Ox Drover

Donna, the problem with your book is that I don’t think many people will read it WHILE they are “happy” it is the people who are NOT happy, maybe fairly early in the relationship (months maybe instead of years) who will read it and extricate themselves from whomever is making them unhappy. Sooner hopefully than later, but extricate themselves before it gets worse.

I can’t see very many “happy” people picking it up…but those who are SEEKING information because they are UN-happy.

I think it should be required reading for teenagers, but I doubt that they would really “get it” even though it is clearly and concisely put but those who have experienced or are experiencing UN happiness in a relationship high in abuse of any kind, they will GET IT from the book for sure.

I think it is an unfortunate thing about people is that we don’t want to learn about alcoholism until we are having some sort of a relationship that is dysfunctional due to alcohol. We don’t want to learn about diabetes until we get it, even if it is in our genetic make up and we should learn about how to prevent its onset, but once we start having trouble with those things we open our minds more….and we learn about the problematic things…because if we don’t learn about it the consequences double, treble and become much worse.

I’m glad that the book is now available and like I said in my review I think we all need to buy two, one to keep and one to give away to a friend who needs it, and I think we all have at least one friend who needs it.


Oxy, on the other hand….

after the victim finds and reads Donna’s book, he or she can hand it off to the “disbelievers” in their circle. I did something like that when I left my spath and had found Patricia Evans’ book about verbally abusive relationships SO helpful. I passed that book along to my family members who were so uncomprehending about what I was telling them.

This is the way it seems to be: those who need or are ready for the lesson will have ears to hear it. Otherwise… it will just seem like nonsense or fantasy.

Maybe for teenagers or the general population, it is enough to simply have an “awareness” that there is something called sociopathic relationships (kind of like awareness of alcoholism or diabetes… so that IF that should occur, you at least know enough to google it!).


I was very happy when I noticed that the spath lied so much. I still loved him, but I wanted to understand, so I read “People of the Lie”. Unfortunately, I didn’t get it.

I’m reading Donna’s book now. It is more targeted toward love relationshits than Peck’s book. I still can’t figure out if I would have believed it, though. Not that there is anything wrong with the book, it’s perfect. But denial is a REALLY REALLY hard thing to break through. My denial was not about my spath being a great guy, my denial was that evil existed and that it looked so normal, so NICE! That is what I could never wrap my head around.

The fact that Scott Peck used the word evil, just drove me deeper into denial. I feared evil, I was raised to fear it. I needed to believe that I would recognize it if I saw it. Without that belief, my self-confidence would shatter. Oh well, it got shattered BIG TIME.

But then, I learned the red flags and I realize too that I survived 25 years of pure evil, so my self-confidence is back.

I also know that I could ALWAYS see it. It never fooled me. I fooled MYSELF with my denial. Getting rid of denial is the most empowering thing we can do.

20 years – you are right. Awareness is the key. If people have at least heard of sociopathy, have a general idea that it’s bad – if they start seeing weird behavior, maybe they’ll look into it further.



I too read Peck’s book long ago. However, I only read it because I had read The Road Less Traveled and liked that book. People of the Lie was a totally different book. I think I was fascinated by the information, but it did not speak to me clearly on a deep level. I found the chapter on exorcism to be a bit off-putting and far-fetched — and scary. Hard to believe. I was a little too young to be very aware of Vietnam, so the chapter about My Lai also didn’t really speak to me in a terribly enlightening way. I’m not saying I didn’t believe it, but it came to me at a safe distance, kind of like learning about the Holocaust, which seems believable and real but at a safe distance. Not a here and now thing, in other words. (more denial) I found the descriptions of his therapeutic clients to be chilling but I didn’t really “get” the part about the “nice mask” of evil. Maybe I would have, if it had been made into a movie. (??)

But I kept the book on my shelf all these years, and dusted it off recently, and I found that I get completely different things out of it now. I think it is a really insightful book, spot on. But I couldn’t comprehend it 25 years or so ago, when I read it.

I, too, had the experience of believing I would RECOGNIZE evil, that it would have horns and a tail, a forked tongue and carrying a pitchfork — if ever I should run across it. But I thought for many years that evil was a rare thing and that I hadn’t encountered it. I didn’t know that I should be looking at the smiling, nice boyfriends with suspicion.

(I know there is more to it than that — the next book must be something about how some of the red flags of lovefraud can also be a sign that you have met someone wonderful and trustworthy — and how to tell the difference. I haven’t figured that one out yet! How to discern between the wolf in sheep’s clothing and the fluffy, sweet little sheep.)

I’m not sure how that message could have been put across to me, so that I could have heard it. I was buried under very many layers of denial about what evil is, does and looks like.

I’m beginning to think that life itself is a sort of set-up, you know?

Ox Drover

20 years, I am the QUEEN OF DENIAL! Actually, I think my egg donor is the QUEEN, and I was just the PRINCESS of denial for most of my 65 years. I read People of the Lie, and I read Without Conscience and The Sociopath Next door and I STILL was in denial about a LOT OF THINGS. I was still the perfect volunteer victim. Anytime someone wanted or needed a victim, I VOLUNTEERED!

When I started to get healthy the “sheet hit the fan” and me setting boundaries threw the entire social and emotional system off kilter and the other members of the “circle” started to ramp up to keep the STATUS QUO of denial going. Eventually devaluing and discarding me when I refused to go back to being what I had been.

Denial keeps everything on an even keel and people know what to expect. It may not be nice, but it is what we KNOW and the devil that we know is better than the devil we don’t know. Well, in toxic relationships and circles it is, but not in healthy ones. So when we start to get healthy they get worse. Only NO contact with them works. It keeps us from getting slimed and sucked back into the toxic relationships and ways of living.

I hope that Donna’s book does raise awareness with people in denial, but it may not be something they would read, or get if they read. Denial is like ROSE COLORED GLASSES.

I had a therapist tell me once I had the thickest rose colored glasses she had ever seen and I remember her telling me that, but I DIDN’T GET IT. She was right though. I wish I could find her and tell her she was SO RIGHT.


yeah life is a set up and our parents are the ones who set us up.


Yeah, maybe we need another book called:
Denial: The red flags of love fraud and why you’re too stupid to see them!

LOL! MAYBE that’s the book what would have spoken volumes to me. who knows? I really LIKED my thick rose colored glasses.

Ox Drover

20 years I think that idea that we can recognize the predator (evil) by what it looks like is what keeps us thinking the world is safe. Actually the predators do not have forked tails and horns but FORKED TONGUES like the serpent in the Garden of Eden…they are slick and convince you that bad is good, and white is black, and up is down….and when we fall for it, WE fall. And they LAUGH! And walk away while we lie on the ground sobbing with broken hearts.

Ox Drover

Sky we posted over each other, but yea, you are right, the world looked pretty safe and nice in those days….like even Patrick was going to be fine. LOL ROTFLMAO Yea, just like my sperm donor was gonna find Jesus. NOT!


yep, and my parents loved me. right…!
And my brother is misunderstood, so he kills kittens.


Oh! Oh! Oh! I just remembered something. This is probably not foolproof, but looking back I remember I asked this question of many of my wicked (evil) boyfriends, and they responded with a very clear “tell” but I was TOO DUMB TO GET IT!!!

Here’s the question I asked them (early in our dating — while in the getting-to-know-you, “what kind of music do you like?” phase):

“what’s the worst thing you ever did?”

And by golly, ALL of them came up with a Very Bad Story and told it with relish (a gleam in their eye). Not with remorse. Not with any sign of working through it. But as a Definitely Bad-Ass, Bad Boy story. Horrible wickedness, debauchery, trickery. (YESSSS, and I mean in the midst of their otherwise love-bombing, mask of niceness, they TOLD the TRUTH and I just let it pass! Jeez….)

So…. hmmm…. maybe this is a spath test that would be useful to people?

(no charge for that LOL)


mine had tons of those stories. one was how he stole a speedboat from the dock on a lake, then he rigged it up to go full throttle into another dock across the lake and explode!

He said the owner deserved it… for having the boat in the first place. gosh. I wish I’d had a brain.

But the way he tells it, you would swear he’s a hero. It’s weird.


I think denial and awareness are the 2 main keys to it all. But, becoming and remaining aware of our denial is very hard. Yet, gotta do it.


Clair, I agree. Between the lies we are told every day and our own need to feel safe in the world, it’s very difficult to see the truth.

Ironically, it’s that very need to feel safe which puts us in danger because we closed our eyes!!


exactly, skylar. So, then it’s ultimately about finding that balance bet our need to feel safe in the world vs. danger due to eyes wide shut. And, it’s all very hard to do. But, do it we must.


We have lots of discussions about people who lie in my house, after my relationship with my ex-spath nearly killed me (depression). We talk about it all the time. What is evil? What is a sociopath? How does it affect us? How we need to run, not walk, far far away. My children absolutely get it. And I’m here still feeling like I got kicked in the gut. It was right there in front of my eyes and I didn’t see it. Wouldn’t see it. Preferred fantasy. I know I have to let this go. I am getting better and better at letting it go. But what a lesson I have learned.



Skylar wrote:
Yeah, maybe we need another book called:
Denial: The red flags of love fraud and why you’re too stupid to see them!

I just laughed so quick and hard I peed myself! Geez!!!! This is the book I needed. And more seriously our denial of The Truly Bad is what destroys us.

Too me the REAL grief was around the loss of the cluster of beliefs that let me BE in denial. Oxy, and others’, have listed them well. But here are a few:

1. All people are, deep down, good.
2. All problems are BOTH persons responsibility (50/50).
3. Everyone, ultimately, wants to be loved.
4. Everyone can be healed.

These beliefs kept me firmly in denial, always turning the other cheek, and always believing that things were ‘going wrong’ because I wasn’t trying hard enough to make them go right.


sorry you peed! lol! 😉

Your list is exactly my problem. And even the knowledge is not enough. I still feel stuck in the beliefs – which are different from the knowledge. it causes cog/diss.

Jesus did explain the problem, I think.

And he spoke to them at length in parables,* saying: “A sower went out to sow.
And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path, and birds came and ate it up.
Some fell on rocky ground, where it had little soil. It sprang up at once because the soil was not deep,
and when the sun rose it was scorched, and it withered for lack of roots.
Some seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it.
But some seed fell on rich soil, and produced fruit, a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold.
Whoever has ears ought to hear.”

Then He explained it:

“Hear then the parable of the sower.
The seed sown on the path is the one who hears the word of the kingdom without understanding it, and the evil one comes and steals away what was sown in his heart.
The seed sown on rocky ground is the one who hears the word and receives it at once with joy.
But he has no root and lasts only for a time. When some tribulation or persecution comes because of the word, he immediately falls away.
The seed sown among thorns is the one who hears the word, but then worldly anxiety and the lure of riches choke the word and it bears no fruit.
But the seed sown on rich soil is the one who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and yields a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold.”

I think I fell along the path…and the spath came and stole what was in my heart because I didn’t understand.



Wow, very powerful post and because it’s from the Bible, I love it even more. So insightful…almost beyond words. THANK YOU.

Ox Drover


You are so right, we don’t want to give up those core beliefs. Those beliefs keep us “safe” in the world. They comfort us when we are down, they lift us up….they are MAGIC, they are wonderful………. they are WRONG!!!!!!


Slimone, denial is very powerful and it is part of my own shame-core. If I live in denial, then whomever is the spath will “like” me and so forth. Good heavens, but I surely don’t want to risk Approval, Acceptance, or Love, do I? That’s why denial is such a strong fork in my craw – I know that I am loveable (not cuddly “loveable,” but a being who is deserving of genuine love) and valuable on an academic level. But, for me, academia takes a back seat (or, has in the past) to truth.

Once again, I’ll refer to what my counselor told me that has become a personal mantra, lately: Feelings are NOT Facts. SO, if someone causes me to “FEEL” as if I’m not worthy of love or that I somehow fall short of their mark, then peace-out, I’m done.

I used to want everyone to “like” me. It was very important that I accept everyone as they were and gave them the “benefit of the doubt.” I felt that my acceptance and tolerance would be reciprocated by others – if I was accepting of THEM, surely they would be accepting of ME. This is simply not true. Today, I don’t go out of my way to get people to like me. I don’t have the time or energy for that, anymore. If I’m accepted, great. If I’m rejected, great. It’s ME that needs to approve of myself and accept myself, not someone else.

The spaths worked on those needs of mine to be accepted and liked, I think. Today, I’ll walk away from someone in a nanosecond without one ounce of regret – how I feel is not usually what IS, and I’m going to try to avoid wasting any more of my energy to sort it out in their favor.

OxD…..yes! Those beliefs had become so ingrained that they were almost a physical appendage for me. It’s like pointing at a my forearm and saying, “See this? This here is my Trust – it’s out there for everyone until you do something to harm it. If you scratch it, I won’t let you near it, again.” What utter rubbish! Today, nobody can see or touch my Trust – it’s hidden and guarded. Heck, I don’t even know where my Trust is hidden!

Ox Drover

Trusting ourselves to keep our selves safe is important. In the past WE let ourselves down by allowing ourselves to trust others when that trust was betrayed.

In the wild animals do NOT trust others (though herd animals trust their own kind) they live in a state of vigilance in which they are aware of their environment. We also must live in a state of caution and vigilance, but NOT HYPER-VIGILANCE. After we have first been injured we become hyper-vigilant but that will wear off with time as we began to trust ourselves.


Donna Anderson is a genuine, caring person who took time to answer questions and discuss my particular situation with my son, who I knew clearly from toddlerhood had serious problems. She talked about a spectrum of socio- & psyco-pathy that I had not heard explained so clearly before. That one fact helped me tremendously in resetting my perspective for the long haul, as I can’t just “jettison” blood; I have seperated myself from him and have to watch from afar the havoc he causes, and pray and hope.

To this end, I would really like to encourage a book from the perspective of family: what to look for at an early age; what strategies/general food/play,eat,sleep schedules work best for youngsters; what medical/therapy options might be available; how to effectively discipline, instruct, and guide the child away, as much as is possible, from antisocial behaviors/attitudes; what to say/do if child/relative is a teenager/young adult who’s been able to “fly under the radar undetected” thus far; and lastly, general guidance/advice for those of us dealing with adult relatives (especially the trickier, closer ones like parent/child, brother/sister, etc.).

Firmly believing that being proactive is way better than cleaning up afterwards, I really feel this is one of the major “missing links” that needs to be fully addressed and widely distributed to as many people as possible. I don’t know if this is an area of expertise for you, Donna, but if it’s within your scope I strongly encourage you to at least consider it.

Thanks again for your invaluable help. Looking forward to finding out if you think it’s doable (and if it’s not you, maybe you know someone who is both qualified and willing).



Just looked in bookstore and found “Just like his father”; as it looks like it covers the periods of early childhood to teens that takes care of one big part of my earlier post, but I still would like to see something about the adult side of parental/sibling/family relationships with sociopaths and how to effectively deal with them. As more unfortunate murders at the hands of family members are being reported (in the news and on TV programs like 20/20, “Who the Bleep did I Marry?”, etc.), I sometimes wonder if I’ll meet my end at the hands of my son, should he ever find himself at the end of his rope and desperate, since he already blames me for most of his problems…

Ox Drover

Dear Motherofamutha,

Oh, my goodness do I love your screenname!!! I am the mother of a MUTHA too…he is in prison for murder these last 20 years, but he didn’t want to be written out of the family will so he sent someone to murder me….

I’ve read Dr. Leedom’s book, and she is convinced that the genetics can be sometimes overcome with parenting and teaching the child at a young age to have empathy.

In some cases, possibly. In some cases, probably nothing would help.

My father was a psychopath, I am not, but one of my 3 half sibs is, and one of my sons is “just like his grandfather” and my father (I call him my P sperm donor as he never actually “fathered” me or cared for me or earned the title of FATHER) anyway, his mother was from what I can tell a psychopath and her father as well, before that I don’t have any family history except names.

My son blames me for all his problems as well, when he was 17 and used my car (which he had stolen) to haul the loot he got from robbing my friend’s business…I turned him in to the cops. Later, when he murdered a young woman, Jessica Witt in 1992 when he was 20, that was my fault too, though I knew nothing about her or the reason he murdered her at the time.

I have written reams of text here on this blog over the last 5 years concerning my son…I am Joyce Alexander, and you can find my e mail under my name on “Love Fraud Authors” if you’d like to contact me off the blog.

As for not “jettisoning” blood….well, you might want to re-think about that stance…in my case, it almost cost me my life and from the last sentence you posted above….I think you have thought about that very thing yourself. God bless.


Ox Drover:

I am speechless. Sounds like a tremendous amount of pain and negativity to overcome.

Thank you for your kindness in reaching out to me 😀


Joyce (I hope you don’t mind)

I clicked your name under “LF Authors” and it took me straight to a listing of your blogs (some of which I intend to read ASAP); I couldn’t find anything with your email tho!

Ox Drover

Dear Mother of a mutha,

We are NOT alone here, there are many other parents of psychopaths here, MiLo is one, and many others. Unfortunately we either had it in our own genes, or we had a child with someone who had it in his, or adopted one.

It has been known for decades that adopted children don’t on a whole turn out as well as “natural” children. Back in the days when it was thought that children were born blank slates on which environment wrote, it was put down to “the child feels abandoned by his natural parents so he acts out” No, he acts out because his natural parents were in prison or other problems and he inherited the genetics and even with a good parental and home base, s/he still became a problem person.

We weren’t perfect parents, but we did the best we could, and I don’t blame myself because my son became a psychopathic killer. He made choices. He is to blame for his behavior. He could control it but he chooses not to. He is not excused by genetics any more than a man who has alcoholism and gets drunk and kills someone gets off because he was drunk when he did it. He had a choice not to drink. My son had a choice not to murder. (which he had planned days in advance and even told people about his plans)

Knowledge is power, and we all need to take back our power! Hang around and read, Mother of a mutha! There’s lots of good stuff here to help you cope with this mess. god bless.

Mother of a mutha – wow – what a name. Dr. Leedom’s book “Just Like His Father?” is the only one I know of that addresses what to do with at-risk children.

If a family member grows up to be a sociopath, then everything on this blog about dealing with sociopaths applies. There is no difference because the person is a family member.

We do hope to produce more books to address these concerns, however. There is much information to be gathered and conveyed.


There are a few differences, Donna, but you’re right, not in the sense of what you’re up against or dealing with from the P.

The differences lie with the observers/other people.

If you’re not a blood relative of the P(s,) observers/other people have no problem with you getting rid of the SOBs. In fact, they’ll often encourage you to do just that. Dump them. Why do you associate with those people? Why don’t you get better friends?

If you are a blood relative of the P(s,) then you are pressured to make up with them, forgive them, get over it, “re-establish” family harmony, love them because they’re family, mend the discord, stop being the holdout etc.

Also, because they are blood relatives (the Ps,) people will often assume that “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” and if you’re coming from the same environment as the P(your family of origin,) then you must be just like the P or equally dysfunctional in some way.

You couldn’t possibly see things or act differently than your family of origin or the P. How many people talk about the families of Ps being victims? No, it’s “the whole family is screwed up.”

In particular, if your family of P(s) does something to you, the assumption is often that they know you better and that you must have done something to deserve this treatment from your family. Your family knows you best.

I think an individual who is not a blood relative of P who is victimized gets much more understanding, sympathy, support, and help than anyone who is a blood relative of a P.

It’s a double-whammy for victims who are also blood relatives of Ps.

Ox Drover

Dear Mother of a mutha

It is oxdrover1946 at g mail dot com….it should be listed there under my bio. and picture.

I have thought several times about writing a book and targeting the audience who are parents/relatives/spouses of inmates in prison.

The “system” HIGHLY AND HEAVILY ENCOURAGES families to be “supportive of” and visit the inmates and take them back into their homes when they get out. They quote all these STATISTICS that show that inmates who have families do better on the outside.

Well, “statistics” can “prove” anything…a man with one foot on a red hot stove and one on a block of ice is STATISTICALLY COMFORTABLE.

Only 40% of inmates complete their paroles without a new felony that puts them back in the hands of the law.

In Arkansas an “ex” convict is NEVER busted on a technical problem with his parole, he or she must commit a new crime, and they know that so they tell their PO to fark off and do what they want to, knowing they will not be returned to prison for flunking a drug test or not showing up for a visit with their PO.

The JC Dugard deal where her abductor’s parole officers showed up at the house but never went in and she was there for nearly 2 decades and his PO didn’t know it. DUH????

25% of all inmates are psychopaths according to Robert Hare’s PCL-R check list and score 30 or above on that test. The AVERAGe rate (meaning that half score higher than 22, and half lower means that at least half the psychopaths are pretty darn close to being psychopaths. If you chart the scores on the bell curve, MOST PEOPLE IN PRISON ARE VERY HIGH IN PSYCHOPATHIC TRAITS and it is only the RARE individual who is truly going to “repent” and learn from prison and stay the heck out of trouble when he gets out so while it may be HELPFUL TO THE SYSTEM to have the families take them into their homes (and cheaper for the system) it is not going to be helpful to the families to have this person high in P traits back in their home….as my husband’s niece found out when she took in my poor son Patrick after his first two years in jail because “his mother was too harsh and didn’t understand him, poor baby” well he was only at her house 5 months before he killed a girl….she really showed me what care and concern for him would do, huh?

I have several people in my community that I know who have psychopathic sons in prison right now, and I’ve known these men since they were kids, and I have no doubt that they are psychopaths, but their mommies and daddies are not going to give up on their blood sons. Just got to keep on Praying because God can do anything! So there is not a chance in hades that I will reach either of these families with my message of “your son is a psychopath and there is no hope for him.” They do NOT want to hear it. They can’t hear it. The system, their churches and their emotions are against what I have to say to them. I feel like “John the Baptist, crying in the wilderness…repent and go no contact, for your sons are psychopaths!”


Skylar. Great post. The way i see it, we are the sowers. We spread seeds of joy and happiness and love. If it takes root, its because of the conditions of the seed. It has nothing to do with the sower.


Slimone. Yeah sister.

I too honestly believed all people are good.

Jokes on me!

When i first met my spath i realized he didnt trust me. I couldnt understand why. I wrote so many emails about it. I learned now the trusthworthy people trust people, and the reverse is also true.

I was duped.

anam cara

My spath radar is “buzzing” today.

Article in the Daily Mail 23/04/12 “How To Spot If Your Lover Is A Psycho”

Relates to “Is There a Psycho In Your Life?” by Jessica Fellowes & Kerry Daynes

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