Last week I introduced the Dunedin study a 30+ year look at the lives, behaviors and personalities of a group of New Zealanders born in 1972. We learned that a small percentage of males and females in the study population were responsible for a high percentage of the antisocial acts reported by the group. Next week, I will discuss the personalities and early histories of this group of people.
This week I want to tell you about the one exception to the observation that men were more antisocial than women. In the realm of intimate partner violence, women were as antisocial as men. Furthermore, a general tendency to be antisocial was found in both men and women who were violent toward their partners.
The results of the study support the contention that sociopathy leads to intimate partner violence.
At age 21 participants reported about partner violence over the past year (83%) or as part of their dating experience (8%). They were assessed by a structured interview that included questions about perpetration and victimization. The researchers also conducted identical interviews with partners of the study participants. They used the:
• Physical Abuse Scale- 13 items
— Physical twisted arm
— Pushed grabbed or shoved
— Slapped
— Physically forced sex
— Shake
— Throw
— Thrown object at
— Chocked or strangled
— Kicked, bit, hit with fist
— Hit with something
— Beat up
— Threaten with gun or knife
— Use of gun or knife
The study found that 8% of couples had clinical level of IPV. In the 30 cases that involved justice system, 80% of the abuse lead to injuries. Both male and female perpetrators were involved. Women with a history of conduct problems were more likely to become involved in a relationship with an abusive man; being involved with an abusive man contributed significantly to woman’s perpetration. However, even after controlling or partners’ physical abuse, women with a history of conduct problems were still likely to commit violence.
The researchers also found that these aspects of the antisocial propensity contributed to intimate partner aggression in both men and women:
— Approval of the use of violence
— Excessive jealousy and suspiciousness
— Intense and rapid negative emotions
— Poor self-control
They concluded, “Among men and women IPV perpetration is but another expression of an earlier-emerging antisocial propensity.”
There were other studies my class and I read that concluded men more frequently perpetrated domestic violence. The authors of these studies suggested that dominance motives on the part of men were important. My class and I then set about to search for other research regarding dominance motives and intimate partner violence. We found a paper that explains it all, Dominance and symmetry in partner violence by male and female university students in 32 nations by Murray A. Straus, Ph.D. of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire.
This paper addressed three questions:
1. Is partner violence primarily perpetrated by men, as compared to women, and as compared to both partners engaging in physical violence?
2. To what extent is dominance by the male partner associated with partner violence, as compared to dominance by the female partner?
3. In short is the risk factor male dominance or dominance by one partner, regardless of whether it is the male female partner?
Their first finding was that female university students around the world more frequently perpetrated partner violence, the gender gap was about 30%. They then set out to examine whether male or female dominance in the relationship was related to IPV.
Dominance by the partner who completed the survey was measured by the Dominance scale of the Personal and Relationships Profile. Examples of the items are “I generally have the final say when my partner and I disagree” and “My partner needs to remember that I am in charge.” The response categories are 1 = Strongly Disagree, 2 = Disagree, 3 = Agree, and 4 = Strongly Agree. The scale score is the mean of nine items.
The nation with the highest score for Dominance by male partners was Tanzania, which is also the least modernized of the 32 nations in this study. The four national settings which are the next most male dominant are Russia, Iran, Taiwan and mainland China. The national setting in which male students have the lowest average dominance score is Sweden, which is a nation that has led the way in steps to promote gender equality. The other four of the five least male dominant national settings are Netherlands, Canada, Switzerland, and Malta.
In relationships where only men were violent. Male dominance increased the odds of violence by 2.29. Each increase of one point on the four point Dominance scale increased the probability of violence by male students 2.29 times. Interestingly, of the other four variables in the Male-Only panel, only one—length of the relationship—is significantly related to Male-Only violence.
In relationships where only women were violent, male dominance increased the risk of Female-only violence by 1.96 times. Again for each one point increase in the male dominance scale Female —Only violence increased 1.96 times. The only other significant relationship in the Female-Only panel shows that the longer the relationship the higher the odds of Female-Only violence.
What about male dominance and bidirectional violence (relationships where both partners are violent)? First, dominance by the male partner is associated with a three-fold increase in the probability of both partners being violent. This is larger than the increase in the probability of Male-Only or Female-Only violence. That is, dominance by a male partner is more strongly associated with bidirectional violence than with Male-Only violence.
Now comes the most interesting part”¦ dominance by women. This is for all you great guys out there who know that women are not always sweet, lovely, submissive creatures. Female dominance was actually common in relationships around the world!
Overall, the Dominance scale scores are higher for women than for men in 24 of the 32 nations, and in all 12 of the nations with the lowest scores for male dominance. Although the differences are small, they are not consistent with the large body of evidence showing greater male power in intimate relationships in most societies. But keep in mind the subjects of this study were university men and women.
Female dominance as reported by women is associated with about a two and half times greater probability of the Male-Only pattern of IPV. The probability of Male-Only violence increases by 3% for each additional month the relationship has been in effect.
Female dominance is much more strongly linked to Female-Only violence than was shown for the relation of male dominance to Female-Only violence. That is, when there is dominance by either partner, it increases the odds of Female-Only violence, but the increase is much greater for female dominance.
Female dominance also increased bi-directional violence, but the effect of female dominance on the odds of bidirectional violence tends to be greater than the effect of male dominance. Age is related to a decrease in the odds of bidirectional violence, and the longer the relationship the greater the odds of bidirectional violence.
I think the research in IPV gives us very important messages about love and life. First sociopaths who are obsessed with power and dominance are not good relationship partners. Secondly, although the human dominance drive is there to energize us to compete and better ourselves, this drive if out of balance, can be very destructive.
What say you?
Dr Leedom if you do not already have this I hope this will help you with your look at IPV and with female violence aspect:
REFERENCES EXAMINING ASSAULTS BY WOMEN ON THEIR SPOUSES OR MALE PARTNERS: AN ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY
http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm
SUMMARY: This bibliography examines 247 scholarly investigations: 188 empirical studies and 59 reviews and/or analyses, which demonstrate that women are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male partners. The aggregate sample size in the reviewed studies exceeds 240,200.
Where’s a good mathematician when we need one?
Here’s a start to an IPV formula:
IPV potential = nature + nuture + culture
…where any one variable ’maxed out’ would put IPV over the threshold.
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Student Of Sociopathy
IMO, Borderline Personality Disorder is the “feeling” counterpart to psychopathy (or, a more ’feeling’ flavored version). All the insanity of control freakishness is there, and impulsivity which overpowers intelligence and insight, but with the additional component of higher reward dependence or agreeableness. This might account for the female IPV’s.
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Student Of Sociopathy
I am curious as to how this relates to more “covert” violence, such as crying “abuse” when none exists as a way to involve the legal system to abuse the (non)perpetrator.
This is a fascinating revision of our usual assumptions. Thank you.
Well I am going to be very interested to read the book about the Dunedin study , however, at the moment I am a little sceptical . Given that any psychopaths in the study are probably going to lie and that any psychopath victims in the study are probably going to be so confused that they will not know whats real and whats not . I have been doing my own study of psychopaths for about 10 months , since I broke up from my female psychopathic X . I am a male and 53 years of age . Firstly let me say that I have never hit a woman in my life and probably never will . However it now would not surprise me if a fairly high percentage of the violence against women is in fact violence against psychopathic women by relatively normal men . Don’t get me wrong here , I am not justifying violence against women or any human for that matter , what I am saying is that if a psychopathic woman plays her nasty little games well enough and the victimized male does not really understand what is going on , at some point the man is quite likely to lash out physically in an effort to defend himself against a seemingly unrealised and unknown psychological force that seems to be destroying him . I felt the anger myself which surprised me , as I am normally a fairly laid back easy going kind of person . It was not untill I had read a few books about psychopaths that the pieces to the puzzle began to fit together . A year ago I did not have a clue about what I was dealing with in the woman that I dated for a year and then lived with for 6 months . The web of lies and distorted truths was so thick that…… , well it did not make sense to me that a person could lie that much , so for the longest time I believed it all . Sounds crazy , right . Well eventually it makes you crazy . Luckily for me it only took me a year and a half to figure it out . I know one guy who spent 23 years with a woman who sounds like she is a psychopath . I have never met her but upon me telling him my story and after reading some of the books I have read he realised that indeed he had been living with a psychopath all that time . What do psychopathic women do to there partners . If a man falls head over heals in love with a psychopathic woman ,I would have to say that he is going to be in a hell of state by the time she is done with him . Believe me I know , been there done that . Its as if your soul has been sucked out of you and for the longest time you don’t know how to get it back . Some people I am sure never find themselves again ,because for the most part they do not know or realise what they have just been through . The female psychopath is something to be reconded with and never to be underestimated . They seem to have mental abilities that amaze me . Once you have been in a relationship with a female psychopath you learn to listen very carefully to what people say and how they say it . Their conversations are crafted to confuse and seduce their victim or potential victims . Those same conversations will eventually turn into a mentally destructive weapon that can cause one of two things. Totall shut down of the interlectual processes or else a potentially explosive anger that could turn violent . Thats what I say .
Quest – Wow, you have described the male version as well. Whether female or male – the same agenda – same routine – same aftershock.
You sound well versed in being able to spot them or at least the ever so important and lifesaving red flags!
Same subject, different/additional theory that will forever intrigue me..This is what jumped out of your post the most for me:
“Some people I am sure never find themselves again ,because for the most part they do not know or realise what they have just been through.. can cause one of two things…Totall shut down of the intelectual processes or else a potentially explosive anger that could turn violent”
Since this is true and often the case for ADULT victims after their involvement with and S/P/N etc… I cant help but take further, on a deeper level….Imagine the effects left on an innocent child who has to grow up with one of these people in his life – esp. the after affects once that little boy or girl enters the real world – (and perhaps some children can adapt, get help, work on themselves as a adults – but look how hard it is for us – grown adults to be able to walk away in tact — I cant help but correlate that they too as a child had their own “total shut down of the intelectual process or their explosive anger,etc. etc. stemming from long term dysfunctional association w/an S/P as a CHILD.
This is no way excuses their behavior or their choices they make – it just lends a different perspective on a percentage of the S/P’s out there as it relates to their cause and effect and their unusual mental abilities.
Glad you GOT OUT, and FIGURED OUT what you were dealing with. Thanks for sharing!
I am curious as to how this relates to more “covert” violence, such as crying “abuse” when none exists as a way to involve the legal system to abuse the (non)perpetrator.
it now would not surprise me if a fairly high percentage of the violence against women is in fact violence against psychopathic women by relatively normal men.
I’ve seen sociopaths, borderlines and others with ’over-exercised defense mechanisms’ do this. They’ll push all the “Please Do Not Push” buttons repeatedly until they get their desired “ABUSE!” result. All of my ’successful sociopaths’ were very good at this. They’d take their victim to the edge with little cuts inflicted covertly, then try to get them to ’lose it’ in public view, to ’prove’ their victims ’insanity’.
I lived with a borderline type once, who’d been abused by a mean drunk as a child. She’d work herself into a frenzied state for reasons as trivial as my forgetting to call, and would punish me with ridiculous amounts of verbal abuse. Some people sulk when neglected, but she would start a nuclear war. I’d retreat to a locked room, and she’d pound on the door screaming obscenities and insults until she calmed down, which could take hours. She was incapable of understanding the much simpler: “When you don’t call me in the morning I become very upset.” After a couple years of this I left her, yet she still didn’t gain the insight into why and persuaded anybody who would listen that I had always been the crazy and abusive one.
I think this should also be seen as an entirely separate category within the ’abused in childhood, will find abuse as adults’ group. (People who show up here at LF are at the ’intelligent, rational and feeling’ end of the temperament spectrum, otherwise they wouldn’t be showing up here.)
I’m using too many words to say the same thing that Rune and quest said, not to mention getting off topic. But I’m seeing a spectrum of “generational abuse”:
1. Overt abusers who only see relationships in a dominant/submissive context.
2. Covert abusers who only believe that relationships can work in a dominant/submissive context.
3. Innocent victims who get into situations which they are used to, but don’t fully understand, possibly unconsciously seeing relationships in a dominant/submissive context.
1 thru 3 being mostly dependant on temperament.
SOS… I was very sensitive to point out
“Same subject, different/additional theory that will forever intrigue me — regarding SOCIOPATHS … it is very much seen an an entirely separte category. What struck me was the way adults have to deal with, recover, survive after involvement with Sociopaths — I cant help but go deeper and wonder how a child deals with, recovers or survives as a child being exposed longterm to an S – without any support, and perhaps carries on into his adult life as people who never find themselves again ,because for the most part they do not know or realise what they have just been through causing total shut down of the intelectual processes or else a potentially explosive anger that could turn violent”
Yes, it was off subject as it relates to an Adults experience with an S. But an adults reaction to an S and futher difficulty recovering from an S- led me to think about a certain percentage of innocent children getting the brunt of an S and not being able to ever find themselves again or retaining dysfunctional ways, up to and including Anger in their adult years.
Back on subject you said “some people sulk when neglected”, some people get angry, some a nuclear war, some people avoid dealing with it, some address it on the spot very consicely …but being neglected is the trigger. I.e. After an arguement, and someone intentionally doesnt call you, or intentionally neglects you. Then it becomes a different scenario in terms of “the way someone responds” — If it is a misconceived “neglect” – in her head- and she reacts off the wall thats a different story. But part of my thoughts are when couples know eachothers background ( abused by a drunk, abandoned, mental illness) and what triggers them – both can either learn to work through triggers and communicate – or get out of the relationship if the person with the illness is not taking steps ie. medication, therapy..to improve their part in the relationship. Again this relates to personality disorders, ie. Borderline types, THIS DOES NOT HOLD TRUE FOR SOCIOPATHIC relationships. There is no postive outcome, communicating, or triggers for them. Its who they are.
I cant help but go deeper and wonder how a child deals with, recovers or survives as a child being exposed longterm to an S – without any support
Matt here at LF (with N mother and S father and brother), seems to be doing impressively well. Some would have crumbled, others become cynical or manipulative… But outside of the trauma and PTSD issues typically resulting from S exposure, Matt seems normal. The difference could be a wise and caring mentor, intelligence and temperament, or other things.
In my own family, I had a cold sub-narcissistic father but sweet and naïve mother, yet I perceive that I am doing no better than Matt. I had to suffer through a variety of subsequent S encounters, related in part, to my own unresolved dominant/submissive issues stemming from childhood. But my sister, one year younger, is doing extremely well psychologically. The question is: Why?
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But part of my thoughts are when couples know each others background ( abused by a drunk, abandoned, mental illness) and what triggers them – both can either learn to work through triggers and communicate – or get out of the relationship if the person with the illness is not taking steps ie. medication, therapy..to improve their part in the relationship.
It takes insight and integrity on the part of both partners. She had neither. She would forget to call me much more often than I ever forgot to call her (as I preferred to avoid punishment), and then act like it was no big deal. It was perfectly okay for her to break those same rules. The phone calling thing is just one small example. I tagged her as BPD because while she could be a control freak, she also seemed to value friends and family on an emotional level.
Until proven otherwise, I say Borderline Personality Disorder is related to sociopathy but with a reward dependence component. But that may be enough of a ’hook’ for an expert to be able to help or even cure BPD’s in adulthood. They are not incorrigible. But that girl was way too tough for me.
SOS – Yes there are so many who – SO MANY – who, as adults are able to go on leading productive successful lives after a traumatic /dysfunctional childhood with ptsd and relationship issues as adults. And I agree one question IS : WHY do some go on to thrive and why not others? But also my intrigue/curiosity is what is the percentage of children who had a different coping mechanism, temperament, experience…that went on from childhood to become an S as an adult…
As far as personality disorders that arent 100% Socipathic – it seems to me its comes down to an individual choice to work on ones “self” as an individual – no matter what you are labeled or diagnosed or not diagnosed with. And to find partners that have the same insight and integrity or wish to develop more insight and integrity about themself and their partner (as well as with all of the relationships they choose to have in their life – from family to friends to business to romantic.
Sociopaths may never do that . And other personality disordered people may always point fingers elsewhere never toward themself. Goal is to associate myself with people who make the choice to be responsible adults and self-aware as well as desire to share compatibility with others. And so much is based on temperament, and the ability to manage our own and know our boundaries with not only accepting/allowing others in our lives – but knowing when we must stop and change direction with some – because they are bad for us to be associated with because of the choices – or lack there of they make – and ways they live their lives.