Last week I introduced the Dunedin study a 30+ year look at the lives, behaviors and personalities of a group of New Zealanders born in 1972. We learned that a small percentage of males and females in the study population were responsible for a high percentage of the antisocial acts reported by the group. Next week, I will discuss the personalities and early histories of this group of people.
This week I want to tell you about the one exception to the observation that men were more antisocial than women. In the realm of intimate partner violence, women were as antisocial as men. Furthermore, a general tendency to be antisocial was found in both men and women who were violent toward their partners.
The results of the study support the contention that sociopathy leads to intimate partner violence.
At age 21 participants reported about partner violence over the past year (83%) or as part of their dating experience (8%). They were assessed by a structured interview that included questions about perpetration and victimization. The researchers also conducted identical interviews with partners of the study participants. They used the:
• Physical Abuse Scale- 13 items
— Physical twisted arm
— Pushed grabbed or shoved
— Slapped
— Physically forced sex
— Shake
— Throw
— Thrown object at
— Chocked or strangled
— Kicked, bit, hit with fist
— Hit with something
— Beat up
— Threaten with gun or knife
— Use of gun or knife
The study found that 8% of couples had clinical level of IPV. In the 30 cases that involved justice system, 80% of the abuse lead to injuries. Both male and female perpetrators were involved. Women with a history of conduct problems were more likely to become involved in a relationship with an abusive man; being involved with an abusive man contributed significantly to woman’s perpetration. However, even after controlling or partners’ physical abuse, women with a history of conduct problems were still likely to commit violence.
The researchers also found that these aspects of the antisocial propensity contributed to intimate partner aggression in both men and women:
— Approval of the use of violence
— Excessive jealousy and suspiciousness
— Intense and rapid negative emotions
— Poor self-control
They concluded, “Among men and women IPV perpetration is but another expression of an earlier-emerging antisocial propensity.”
There were other studies my class and I read that concluded men more frequently perpetrated domestic violence. The authors of these studies suggested that dominance motives on the part of men were important. My class and I then set about to search for other research regarding dominance motives and intimate partner violence. We found a paper that explains it all, Dominance and symmetry in partner violence by male and female university students in 32 nations by Murray A. Straus, Ph.D. of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire.
This paper addressed three questions:
1. Is partner violence primarily perpetrated by men, as compared to women, and as compared to both partners engaging in physical violence?
2. To what extent is dominance by the male partner associated with partner violence, as compared to dominance by the female partner?
3. In short is the risk factor male dominance or dominance by one partner, regardless of whether it is the male female partner?
Their first finding was that female university students around the world more frequently perpetrated partner violence, the gender gap was about 30%. They then set out to examine whether male or female dominance in the relationship was related to IPV.
Dominance by the partner who completed the survey was measured by the Dominance scale of the Personal and Relationships Profile. Examples of the items are “I generally have the final say when my partner and I disagree” and “My partner needs to remember that I am in charge.” The response categories are 1 = Strongly Disagree, 2 = Disagree, 3 = Agree, and 4 = Strongly Agree. The scale score is the mean of nine items.
The nation with the highest score for Dominance by male partners was Tanzania, which is also the least modernized of the 32 nations in this study. The four national settings which are the next most male dominant are Russia, Iran, Taiwan and mainland China. The national setting in which male students have the lowest average dominance score is Sweden, which is a nation that has led the way in steps to promote gender equality. The other four of the five least male dominant national settings are Netherlands, Canada, Switzerland, and Malta.
In relationships where only men were violent. Male dominance increased the odds of violence by 2.29. Each increase of one point on the four point Dominance scale increased the probability of violence by male students 2.29 times. Interestingly, of the other four variables in the Male-Only panel, only one—length of the relationship—is significantly related to Male-Only violence.
In relationships where only women were violent, male dominance increased the risk of Female-only violence by 1.96 times. Again for each one point increase in the male dominance scale Female —Only violence increased 1.96 times. The only other significant relationship in the Female-Only panel shows that the longer the relationship the higher the odds of Female-Only violence.
What about male dominance and bidirectional violence (relationships where both partners are violent)? First, dominance by the male partner is associated with a three-fold increase in the probability of both partners being violent. This is larger than the increase in the probability of Male-Only or Female-Only violence. That is, dominance by a male partner is more strongly associated with bidirectional violence than with Male-Only violence.
Now comes the most interesting part”¦ dominance by women. This is for all you great guys out there who know that women are not always sweet, lovely, submissive creatures. Female dominance was actually common in relationships around the world!
Overall, the Dominance scale scores are higher for women than for men in 24 of the 32 nations, and in all 12 of the nations with the lowest scores for male dominance. Although the differences are small, they are not consistent with the large body of evidence showing greater male power in intimate relationships in most societies. But keep in mind the subjects of this study were university men and women.
Female dominance as reported by women is associated with about a two and half times greater probability of the Male-Only pattern of IPV. The probability of Male-Only violence increases by 3% for each additional month the relationship has been in effect.
Female dominance is much more strongly linked to Female-Only violence than was shown for the relation of male dominance to Female-Only violence. That is, when there is dominance by either partner, it increases the odds of Female-Only violence, but the increase is much greater for female dominance.
Female dominance also increased bi-directional violence, but the effect of female dominance on the odds of bidirectional violence tends to be greater than the effect of male dominance. Age is related to a decrease in the odds of bidirectional violence, and the longer the relationship the greater the odds of bidirectional violence.
I think the research in IPV gives us very important messages about love and life. First sociopaths who are obsessed with power and dominance are not good relationship partners. Secondly, although the human dominance drive is there to energize us to compete and better ourselves, this drive if out of balance, can be very destructive.
What say you?
well I just got in from work and have been pondering off and on all day so here goes. For myself I have always been attracted to psychopathic women , not realising that that was indeed what I was attracted to . The other bizarre side to this is that psychopathic women seem to be attracted to me . They can pick me out in a crowded room just as I can pick them out in the same room . Of course now that I realise what a psychopath is I avoid them like the plague , unless of course I’m not 100% sure , in which case I will investigate with a conversation . Usually if there is any doubt in my mind it will sort out within half an hour of talking . How do I know you may ask . Well thats a question I am still working on . Psychopaths have a way of talking that is not quite the same as when normal people talk. The silly thing is I know it when I hear it but have not figured out a way to describe it that would make any sense . This ability to spot them has not stopped them from being attracked to me initially but it does not usually take them long to realise that I know what they are and that usually scares them or at least puts them on guard . They may not realise that they are a psychopath but they sure as hell know that they are not quite the same as the rest of us .Then its as if they get curious and wonder who is this that I can’t fool or can I . A psychopath cannot resist a challenge . There was a time a few months ago when I would test myself against them on an intellectual level but I discovered that I was not strong enough yet to keep a clever psychopath out of my head . I have tried to figure out what a psychopath does to a normal persons brain . Of course that takes a fair bit of concentration . First you have to listen very carefully to the psychopath and at the same time watch your own thought processes to figure out whats going on . Well the one thing I noticed was that as the conversation progressed I was slowly being shut down but could not get a grip of how it was being done . Well, then one day , I had a eureka moment . I was on the phone at work one day talking to a customer , who incidently was probably not a psychopth , but he did have an accent that indicated that his first language was not english . Anyway what happened was he was telling me his email address . The conversation went something like this . “T like tom , B like bob , A like alpha , O like umbrella “. As soon as he said O like umbrella that was it . My mind shut down and I did not hear what he said after that . As weird as it may sound , at the same time , I was aware enough to be aware of my mind shutting down . What had happened . He had said something that did not make sense and for a few seconds my mind got stuck . My mind got befuddled trying to figure out” O like umbrella”. In this case the shut down only lasted a couple of seconds and we did get to figure out that umbrella was not spelt ombrella . Anyway , moving on , I realised that psychopaths try to befuddle their victims minds and now I had become aware of a mechanism in my head that would allow a smart one to do it . I had learned during my relationship with my P/X that if we were having a conversation I had to listen very carefully or I was going to loose track . Many times we could start off a pleasant conversation that would turn into an argument and by the time we were done I could not even remember why we were arguing for in the first place . The logical part of my brain was being attacked and I did not even know it . Crazy stuff I must say . As time went on I basically gave up argueing which basically ment that I was shutting down . Of course it did not stop her . I am sure she was able to monitor the shut down process as time went along . If I showed any sign of waking up from the trance she would take me to a deeper level . This continued to the point where something inside me said THATS IT I’m out of here . At that time I did not realise what was going on but my instincts were telling me to get out or else be destroyed. I seem to remember some greek legend about men who turned to stone when looking into the eyes of a woman who had snakes instead of hair on her head. Was this symbolism for psychopath .
Jen – You are welcome 🙂 I did this little experiment because a few of the intern students were being overly critical almost bordering on blaming the victim when we began talking about the process of change. I wanted to make it clear that it is easy to sit on this side of the desk but it is a whole different thing to actually have to do what your asking them to do. A few thought that if “they really wanted to change they would and without taking so long or backsliding.” After this little experiment most of them understood much better. None of them did it without “backsliding” at least once 🙂
Well, back to the shoe lace experiment. It fascinates me because once I tied my shoe successfully that first time after the difficulty noted above, I went off for awhile and did something else. Then I decided to try it again and see how I did. I sat down and tied it in reverse just fine the first time I tried, and the second, and the third–no hesitation whatsoever.
BUT the interesting thing to me (about me) is that reaction to trying the experiment the first time was to FREEZE up mentally–like my mind went sort of blank and I couldn’t figure out how to tie in reverse period, until I went back and checked the old way and applied it by thinking it thru to the new way, while still feeling in a panic.
But then when I am relaxed about it and realize I did it successfully (finally) last time I tried, I can come back later and do it right the first time right off the bat. and keep doing it fairly quickly over and over and over again and get comfortable with it.
So, now I’m wondering does this mean that I initially strongly resist change and doing things differently, but then once I accept the change, I go with it fairly easily.
Or maybe it just means I have a learning disability in reversing the order of tying shoelaces. lol (ok, I really need to get a life here!)
Quest – MEDUSA!!! LOL
I think you should “study” healthy women and agree that Psychopathic women are what they are – because thats what they are – DANGEROUS TO YOUR HEALTH AND SANITY!
Excellent description of what they do to our minds, midsentence, before we know it – has either just turned the whole conversation around, or sidestepped the issue or worse convinced me that somethings wrong with me!! Meanwhile my mind is still trying to play catchup mid conversation as to WTF just took place in the conversation. Other than, Im always wrong and they are always right – and perfect too, so perfect in their own heads!!
Maybe find out what it is about you that attracts you to them… and frame a picture of Medusa in your house – think she is suppose to ward off evil – not necessarily Psychopaths – but maybe!!! 🙂
quest: Is sure sounds like you can spot a P! I’m not that good. I did read the book Women Who Love Psychopaths (I’m sure the book is good for men too) and I understand that I attract them, but I don’t know if I could spot one, they are sneaky.
shabbychic2 they are certainly sneaky .For me women psychopaths are easier to see than men , although I must say I am getting better at that too . One book that I found usefull was one called “the psychopath hand book”. Its a little hard to get going but once you get going on it , its worth it in the end . Its a little text booky if you get my drift .
learnthelesson . I all ready know what it is in me that attracks me to them , Its what attracks them to me thats got me a little confused . What do they see in me . Is it as simple as them seeing that i am interested in them and therefore perhaps an easy mark . Even now I still find them fascinating but not in the way I used to . Now I keep asking myself “WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY” . Is there something to be learned from these monsters other than the fact that they are monsters . I guess I learned more about myself in the last 10 months than I did in the last 10 to 20 years . Now thats a head bender all by its self .
quest:
The “O like umbrella” comment has had wondering. I know that it is very common with dyslexics to use substitute certain incorrect words for other words (i.e. “detergent” instead of deterrent”).
The wierd thing is, there were certain incorrect words my ex-S would use consistently (i.e. “X is a GRAY lady” instead of “X is a GREAT lady.”). To the best of my knowledge he wasn’t dyslexic.
Anybody else notice this?
So after all this psychopath stuff that we have been going through and given that 1 person in 25 is probably a psychopath it would seem to me that almost everybody on the planet is probably being influenced to some degree by a psychopath . When you cosider all the personality traits that make up the psychopath on the check list and how most of us have some of them to some degree , which incidently we may have picked up from a psychopath it then begs the question . “What is it , to be human ” . Any takers on that one.
Quest – A little bit of everything in a healthy balanced way. Any body successful with accomplishing that yet – or does that finally happen when we are alone in our rocking chairs!!!! 🙂
Matt , Actually come to think of it I knew a guy , years ago ,who I would now consider to be a psychopath who did just that . He would distort words by pronouncing them phonetically . I can’t think of an example at the moment but he used to use the same words over and over again . My X was a cliche queen and she use to use little catch phrases all the time in conversations . eg “Oh is that right” , was one of them . She also had a wit that was sometimes really hilarious . I remember being in a bar one time with a bunch of people and the conversation was about browny points earned by one guy because he had done something nice for his wife . My X interrupted with ” Browny points , what do you mean browny points , don’t you mean pussy points , we don’t need any of that half baked browny crap around here .