Last week I introduced the Dunedin study a 30+ year look at the lives, behaviors and personalities of a group of New Zealanders born in 1972. We learned that a small percentage of males and females in the study population were responsible for a high percentage of the antisocial acts reported by the group. Next week, I will discuss the personalities and early histories of this group of people.
This week I want to tell you about the one exception to the observation that men were more antisocial than women. In the realm of intimate partner violence, women were as antisocial as men. Furthermore, a general tendency to be antisocial was found in both men and women who were violent toward their partners.
The results of the study support the contention that sociopathy leads to intimate partner violence.
At age 21 participants reported about partner violence over the past year (83%) or as part of their dating experience (8%). They were assessed by a structured interview that included questions about perpetration and victimization. The researchers also conducted identical interviews with partners of the study participants. They used the:
• Physical Abuse Scale- 13 items
— Physical twisted arm
— Pushed grabbed or shoved
— Slapped
— Physically forced sex
— Shake
— Throw
— Thrown object at
— Chocked or strangled
— Kicked, bit, hit with fist
— Hit with something
— Beat up
— Threaten with gun or knife
— Use of gun or knife
The study found that 8% of couples had clinical level of IPV. In the 30 cases that involved justice system, 80% of the abuse lead to injuries. Both male and female perpetrators were involved. Women with a history of conduct problems were more likely to become involved in a relationship with an abusive man; being involved with an abusive man contributed significantly to woman’s perpetration. However, even after controlling or partners’ physical abuse, women with a history of conduct problems were still likely to commit violence.
The researchers also found that these aspects of the antisocial propensity contributed to intimate partner aggression in both men and women:
— Approval of the use of violence
— Excessive jealousy and suspiciousness
— Intense and rapid negative emotions
— Poor self-control
They concluded, “Among men and women IPV perpetration is but another expression of an earlier-emerging antisocial propensity.”
There were other studies my class and I read that concluded men more frequently perpetrated domestic violence. The authors of these studies suggested that dominance motives on the part of men were important. My class and I then set about to search for other research regarding dominance motives and intimate partner violence. We found a paper that explains it all, Dominance and symmetry in partner violence by male and female university students in 32 nations by Murray A. Straus, Ph.D. of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire.
This paper addressed three questions:
1. Is partner violence primarily perpetrated by men, as compared to women, and as compared to both partners engaging in physical violence?
2. To what extent is dominance by the male partner associated with partner violence, as compared to dominance by the female partner?
3. In short is the risk factor male dominance or dominance by one partner, regardless of whether it is the male female partner?
Their first finding was that female university students around the world more frequently perpetrated partner violence, the gender gap was about 30%. They then set out to examine whether male or female dominance in the relationship was related to IPV.
Dominance by the partner who completed the survey was measured by the Dominance scale of the Personal and Relationships Profile. Examples of the items are “I generally have the final say when my partner and I disagree” and “My partner needs to remember that I am in charge.” The response categories are 1 = Strongly Disagree, 2 = Disagree, 3 = Agree, and 4 = Strongly Agree. The scale score is the mean of nine items.
The nation with the highest score for Dominance by male partners was Tanzania, which is also the least modernized of the 32 nations in this study. The four national settings which are the next most male dominant are Russia, Iran, Taiwan and mainland China. The national setting in which male students have the lowest average dominance score is Sweden, which is a nation that has led the way in steps to promote gender equality. The other four of the five least male dominant national settings are Netherlands, Canada, Switzerland, and Malta.
In relationships where only men were violent. Male dominance increased the odds of violence by 2.29. Each increase of one point on the four point Dominance scale increased the probability of violence by male students 2.29 times. Interestingly, of the other four variables in the Male-Only panel, only one—length of the relationship—is significantly related to Male-Only violence.
In relationships where only women were violent, male dominance increased the risk of Female-only violence by 1.96 times. Again for each one point increase in the male dominance scale Female —Only violence increased 1.96 times. The only other significant relationship in the Female-Only panel shows that the longer the relationship the higher the odds of Female-Only violence.
What about male dominance and bidirectional violence (relationships where both partners are violent)? First, dominance by the male partner is associated with a three-fold increase in the probability of both partners being violent. This is larger than the increase in the probability of Male-Only or Female-Only violence. That is, dominance by a male partner is more strongly associated with bidirectional violence than with Male-Only violence.
Now comes the most interesting part”¦ dominance by women. This is for all you great guys out there who know that women are not always sweet, lovely, submissive creatures. Female dominance was actually common in relationships around the world!
Overall, the Dominance scale scores are higher for women than for men in 24 of the 32 nations, and in all 12 of the nations with the lowest scores for male dominance. Although the differences are small, they are not consistent with the large body of evidence showing greater male power in intimate relationships in most societies. But keep in mind the subjects of this study were university men and women.
Female dominance as reported by women is associated with about a two and half times greater probability of the Male-Only pattern of IPV. The probability of Male-Only violence increases by 3% for each additional month the relationship has been in effect.
Female dominance is much more strongly linked to Female-Only violence than was shown for the relation of male dominance to Female-Only violence. That is, when there is dominance by either partner, it increases the odds of Female-Only violence, but the increase is much greater for female dominance.
Female dominance also increased bi-directional violence, but the effect of female dominance on the odds of bidirectional violence tends to be greater than the effect of male dominance. Age is related to a decrease in the odds of bidirectional violence, and the longer the relationship the greater the odds of bidirectional violence.
I think the research in IPV gives us very important messages about love and life. First sociopaths who are obsessed with power and dominance are not good relationship partners. Secondly, although the human dominance drive is there to energize us to compete and better ourselves, this drive if out of balance, can be very destructive.
What say you?
Quest speaks of “mind shut down”. I’m not so sure that the dumber S’s are consciously trying to do this to their target. Normal people usually try to make sense of what another is saying. But if the other guy’s talk is full of conflicting BS or reeks of ’duping delight’ normals become emotionally uncomfortable which I think accounts for the “mind shut down”.
A good guy will usually want you to be clear about what he’s explaining to you, is open to questions, and will try to answer them as clearly as they can. An S doesn’t care. Most of the times I’ve come away confused or emotionally unsettled, something has usually not been right with them.
As an adult I’ve dealt with two female successful sociopaths one on one for extended periods (at work). Both did the inappropriate and odd sexual stare / manipulation thing, early on in the relationship. And early on, the relationship felt more like a game than a working partnership.
The less competent one gave me the creeps pretty quickly. I’d come away with the feeling that I was dealing with an emotional two year old, and a ’professional imposter’ despite the fact that she was supposedly a degreed engineer. She was so ’out of tolerance’ from what I was used to, very unsettling. I’d come away exhausted from not being able to trust anything she said or did.
The more competent one had acquired corporate power far beyond her education and experience. Ask her a technical question and you’d get arrogant sarcastic tone: “Well, THAT guy knows…” She was covering up her own ignorance by trying to push emotional buttons. She was good at ’speaking obliquely’ to try and plant attitudes or fears into normal minds. At a meeting she got a personal call from her son, and told him “I’m proud of you for playing with that retarded boy” while looking at the insecure young workaholic who’d been trying to get a raise.
Yet they could flip on the ’nice switch’ to impress the ones who counted.
Well SOS it took me quite a while to figure out what the agenda was . Now when I say agenda I mean my P/X had some kind of plan right from the time we met which was 5 years before we even got together . We worked at the same company . To get my attention she complained to the boss about me . At the time I was totally confused as we hardly had anything to do with each other . The boss thought it was all very funny but at the time it forced me to confront her face to face which is what she wanted . Of course when I went to her to see what the hell was going on she was delighted to see me and joked about it and so the charm began . I suspect that what most people miss is the evil behind the very pleasant smile even if it was phoney . As time went on I got to know her on a certain level . A level that she chose to show me . I was as blind as a bat flying into whatever it is that bats can’t detect . My defense radar was not working for some reason . Needless to say, when the devil rose up I was totally unprepared and in fact did not have a clue what I was dealing with . The rest is history . I guess the most important thing when dealing with a psychopath you have to listen very carefully . Tape the conversation if you have to and listen to it later .
Quest – You were asking about physical defects and mentioned feet. I dont know that many physcopaths to compare or observe feet. But several of us here on the blog have commented on the way they sleep – like it was abnormal or like they were dead or not human….and btw I really like your post – you have a way with words – thanks for sharing….
Well Henry as long as it makes sense that is the main thing . If it didn’t make sense to someone I would be thinking that maybe I had gone over the edge completely
Tape the conversation if you have to and listen to it later.
Will do! Those kinds of devices are getting so small it’s almost wrong to not be using one with them.
Chic,
I too live in the southern USA and the “mare” for mirror and other words are just part of the dialect here.
I do speak “English” but I also speak “redneck” as well, and can change from one to the other depending on which group I am with. I wasn’t aware that I even did this until someone from “off” (that means not from here) pointed it out to me that when I was talking to them I spoke “English” and when a local redneck would drive up, I would switch to the dialect and my pronunciation and diction would immediately change.
Part of the reason I think is that if you are from “here” and you go off and get an education and come back (which I did) and you “talk different” than the less educated locals, then you are perceived as “Uppity” and “above your raising” and the people don’t feel comfortable with you.
One reason the medical clinic I had here was so successful was that I was “from here” and I “spoke the language” and knew the customs. After I got the clinic going full tilt, the hospital that owned it transferred me to another clinic and brought in a Nurse Practitioner from the city, and the clinic immediately went down to about 3-4 patients a day, because the people were not comfortable with a woman who did not “speak their language.” The rest of the patients either followed me to the new clinic about 20 miles away, but the first clinic was eventually closed down because they had no business….the hospital administration never “got it” WHY either. While in a more urban place, a health care provider=a health care provider, but in a more rural area, the cultural and language aspects were very important to them. BTW I also speak “delta” because I lived there for 7 years and learned the language while I was there. LOL
Oxy: I understand what you mean about changing your dialect depending on who you are with, I’ll say a “y’all” when I’m down in the south once in a while, I’m mirroring them, ha ha ha. But you are right, locals could spot me a mile away. But the mispronouncing dumb ass I was talking about is from California and he has no excuse to sound like a redneck!!
I’m from the west coast and last year when my daughter picked me up from the airport when I went to see her in Virginia she has bluegrass music blasting from the stero and I said with shock on my face “What in God’s name has happened to you? You’re turning into one of them!!!” LOL
Dear Chic,
You should know though, that a great part of California was settled in the 20s and 30s and 40s by “rednecks” from the South so the accent and dialect will continue on for several generations.
Actually, Vance Randolph, PhD who was a language “expert” from the University of Arkansas, studied and published on the mountain dialects in the south and up until the 1940s and 50s when radio came to the area, then TV, the dialect was almost pure Elizabethean English. The people had been fairly isolated and they used the language of their forefathers almost unchanged. Even when I was in school in the 50s and 60s, some children used “H-it” instead of “It” for the word “it”–and this is about 400 years old and was the ROOT word for “it” as the H got dropped eventually.
While you might see the language he used, and the pronunciation as “hick” or “uneducated” (and it COULD be both) I also see it as a dialect, as did Dr. Randolph.
Our country contains many dialects, including Yiddish, etc. and words that are used differently in different parts of the country. Soda is used for what we here in the south use “coke” for. “I want a coke, I’ll have a Dr. Pepper” Or Kleenex for tissue.
I have a friend from San Francisco who pronounces words differently than I do. She says “I keep my draw-ers, in the chest of draws” I pronounce both words the same, as draw-ers.
I realize that “standardized” English should be taught in school, and that it would simplify things if we all spoke and wrote it, and used words in the same way, but I doubt that will ever happen in a country as diverse as ours or as large, even with television and the media promoting it.
Personally, I AM a “redneck” born and bred, I am also an educated person, and CAN speak “standard English” pretty well. My egg donor taught English when she was younger, and was always on my case about pronouncing words in standard English, but I was actually “bi-linguial” by the time I was 8 or 10 I think.
I’m glad your daughter is absorbing the culture of the area in which she lives. Bluegrass music has a great and wonderful history! A lot of the tunes and music go back 400+ years and have a colorful and interessting history of preservation. In my living history group, we study these tunes and the various words that have been attached to them. Did you know the tune to Elvis’ “Love me Tender” goes back over 400 years?
Oxy: No, I just see him as a “hick” I don’t think dialect would be representative of a person’s intelligence, my 25 year old son-in-law is a zillion times more intelligent than me (I? LOL) and he has a West Virginian dialect!
I agree with you… “standardized” English will never happen… and I would hate to see it happen!
Chic, while “redneck” is often the white equivalent slur of the N-word for black people, actually, I don’t get offended at all. My sons and I “debate” whether we are “hill billies” or “rednecks” and which is the correct term. In either case, I am proud of my forefather’s in many ways, and in other ways, I see the dysfunction that has been passed on from generation to generation, both genetically and socially. It isn’t ONLY in my own culture either, but in many cultures where children are indoctrinated with hate, and violence against “others” who are “not us.” The old “us vs them” that has been in the world since two groups of humanoids lived in two different caves. LOL The stronger and more aggressive humans have apparently ALWAYS preyed on others who are less able to defend themselves (for whatever reason). I am reading a history book right now about the wars between Athens and Sparta and the political climate that made them happen. Envy and greed in so many “leaders” brought on wars, and other times people fought over differences in beliefs. The graphic descriptions of the carnage in the battles, involving tens of thousands of combatants makes me wonder about humans in general and what “we” (humans) are capable of against our fellow men.
Sometimes I even feel “guilty” about being so badly traumatized by the Ps in my life when they have done so LITTE “damage” to me compared to the trauma that others have endured, or even not survived, since man came upon the face of the planet. Reading Dr. Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning” has helped me to feel more comfortable about my own “suffering” even though it has nothing compared to what he endured in the Nazi prison camps, or the torture and pain that people routinely experience in prisoner of war camps, in Darfur now, and other areas of the world where there is NO choice and NO security from abuse. You can’t just say “I will not be abused” any more because then your very life is forefit immediately.
I do know that in the situation I am NOW, in the place I am NOW, I will do everything I can to live a healthy, happy and peaceful life, as free from abuse or disrespect as I am able to make it. I can’t change them, and my situation at present is as good as I can make it, so at this point in time, I don’t have to move to another area, divorce a husband, disown another child, or go NC with another parent. I don’t have to put up with an abusive boss because it is the only job I have available, etc. Over all, I really don’t have a lot of complaints at all. I am, however, going to continue to work on MYSELF and my own attitudes about the past, and the future, as well as LIVE IN THE NOW AND ENJOY THE BLESSINGS I HAVE NOW.