The “sociopath,” boiled down, is someone who routinely does, and takes, what he wants, unconcerned with the impact of his behavior on others. Nothing in my mind defines his essence more than this concise, factual description. He is rather unique, and thus diagnosable as a sociopath, to this precise extent.
Sure, we’ve discussed this before, but it always merits, in my view, fresh reconsideration. And so let me add, I think, an important caveat: The sociopath doesn’t necessarily feel he has the “right” to what he’s pursuing, or planning to take.
Rather, he doesn’t feel he needs the right. He just needs the want.
Simply wanting what he wants, with or without the right to it, meets his standard for laying claim to his quarry.
Because after all, you may ask the sociopath, “Did you have a ”˜right’ to take that? To steal it?” And he may answer, with intellectual honesty, “No. I realize, intellectually, that I had no right to what I took.”
Which gets to the nub, the essence, of his condition: His” right” to what he wanted wasn’t relevant, didn’t even enter his thinking; rather, his wanting it was the sole factor necessary to support his comfortable, non-conflictual pursuit of it.
To sum up, the sociopath’s disordered essence is captured best in his pattern of taking, without remorse, what intellectually he may very well know doesn’t belong to him—he has no right to it—yet he takes it anyway.
To be clear: when I say that the sociopath intellectually can understand he may lack the “right” to what he’s taking, I’m not suggesting that he lacks a sense of entitlement. Quite the contrary: his sense of entitlement is all the more astounding for his intellectual awareness that he may lack the “right” to what he wants, yet still takes it. In doing so, he is exhibiting self-entitlement, and attitudes of contempt, in their gaudiest, most audacious forms.
One always must beware of oversimplifying complicated concepts. The sociopath’s disorder is complex on many levels. Yet on some levels the sociopath’s mentality isn’t so complicated at all. In some respects it’s pretty simple.
In this article I suggest the sociopath is, essentially, that strange, disconcerting, disruptive individual with a history, and pattern, of taking from others what doesn’t belong to him with an impoverished sense of shame and remorse. When you confront an individual with this history and pattern, you are dealing with a sociopath.
What he takes, and even how he takes it, are less relevant considerations that that he takes, with no right.
(This article is copyrighted © 2011 by Steve Becker, LCSW. My use of male gender pronouns is strictly for convenience’s sake and not to suggest that females aren’t capable of the behaviors and attitudes discussed.)
skylar
Hens,
it’s funny how the most innocuous things can trigger us: earplugs.
One day, soon, you will see earplugs and you will think of ErinB at the gun range shooting at targets, saying, “take that, spath!”
Edit:
So far, we have lack of empathy, usurping authority, and now the pity ploy…
fucking classic !
MoonDancer
depression is a horrible place – I have had PTSD most of my life..I am getting better tho, now that I have gone no contact with the monster’s in my life. I hope you get some help with your depression.
ErinBrock
alsdjij jkdjow’ alsjdw ‘woe9 jdj 9, 8, 0, 45!
SDJWI!!!
Sjljsljiw”fsjkj, sj mcmcwempo~
sjkfiwoij ajd ‘slskje mckbno .xc,eeoigio skakjwioe skjfiwe woej wojeiops pwei s’sdljgj mnhbdb cmduee,ddsfidj ajsdkw jksjwo wjwioegn.
sjdkjioej sjweoe wjehio wie9eeskjd skweiong pwjgn slwoie woijg sobnnxl sjiei wjieht slwedkje wehei ahslek shwvv xxsdiowe sdksjoei asdhweo wppdpg jsejwpod dkhlei shweki sjlsjg sjck.x.g saljiwoep wptyiodo wyofoh hgjdii jkdhhg ryueie slehg shgleiol dklajdsjouoeijojg sakjflnenioind sjdifuck skwelxis lskejei youdjlii skejigh i dondkoie slepw sltyei shekdhdi shdkgjdi ll;digigodijdn!!!!!
alsdjij jkdjow’ alsjdw ’woe9 jdj 9, 8, 0, 45!
SDJWI!!!
Sjljsljiw”fsjkj, sj mcmcwempo~
sjkfiwoij ajd ’slskje mckbno .xc,eeoigio skakjwioe skjfiwe woej wojeiops pwei s’sdljgj mnhbdb cmduee,ddsfidj ajsdkw jksjwo wjwioegn.
sjdkjioej sjweoe wjehio wie9eeskjd skweiong pwjgn slwoie woijg sobnnxl sjiei wjieht slwedkje wehei ahslek shwvv xxsdiowe sdksjoei asdhweo wppdpg jsejwpod dkhlei shweki sjlsjg sjck.x.g saljiwoep wptyiodo wyofoh hgjdii jkdhhg ryueie slehg shgleiol dklajdsjouoeijojg sakjflnenioind sjdifuck skwelxis lskejei youdjlii skejigh i dondkoie slepw sltyei shekdhdi shdkgjdi ll;digigodijdn!!!!!
sjdkjioej sjweoe wjehio wie9eeskjd skweiong pwjgn slwoie woijg sobnnxl sjiei wjieht slwedkje wehei ahslek shwvv xxsdiowe sdksjoei asdhweo wppdpg jsejwpod dkhlei shweki sjlsjg sjck.x.g saljiwoep wptyiodo wyofoh hgjdii jkdhhg ryueie slehg shgleiol dklajdsjouoeijojg sakjflnenioind sjdifuck skwelxis lskejei youdjlii
dklajdsjouoeijojg sakjflnenioind sjdifuck skwelxis lskejei youdjlii skejigh i dondkoie slepw sltyei shekdhdi shdkgjdi ll;digigodijdn!!!!!
sjdkjioej sjweoe wjehio wie9eeskjd skweiong pwjgn slwoie woijg sobnnxl sjiei wjieht slwedkje wehei ahslek shwvv xxsdiowe sdksjoei asdhweo wppdpg.
jkdhhg ryueie slehg shgleiol dklajdsjouoeijojg sakjflnenioind sjdifuck skwelxis lskejei youdjlii
dklajdsjouoeijojg sakjflnenioind sjdifuck skwelxis lskejei youdjlii skejigh i dondkoie slepw sltyei shekdhdi shdkgjdi ll;digigodijdn!!!!!
sjdkjioej sjweoe wjehio wie9eeskjd skweiong pwjgn slwoie woijg sobnnxl sjiei wjieht slwedkje wehei???
jkdhhg ryueie slehg shgleiol dklajdsjouoeijojg sakjflnenioind sjdifuck skwelxis lskejei youdjlii
dklajdsjouoeijojg sakjflnenioind sjdifuck skwelxis lskejei youdjlii skejigh i dondkoie slepw sltyei shekdhdi shdkgjdi ll;digigodijdn!!!!!
sjdkjioej sjweoe wjehio wie9eeskjd skweiong pwjgn slwoie woijg sobnnxl sjiei wjieht slwedkje wehei.
jkdhhg ryueie slehg shgleiol dklajdsjouoeijojg sakjflnenioind sjdifuck skwelxis lskejei youdjlii
dklajdsjouoeijojg sakjflnenioind sjdifuck skwelxis lskejei youdjlii skejigh i dondkoie slepw sltyei shekdhdi shdkgjdi ll;digigodijdn!!!!!
sjdkjioej sjweoe wjehio wie9eeskjd skweiong pwjgn slwoie woijg sobnnxl sjiei.
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Ox Drover
Dear ErinBrock,
I agree with you, but I think you should consider that dondkoie slepw is counter productive most of the time. I’m off to bed, got to plant the garlic tomorrow.
ErinBrock
HOY….my language barrior got in the way again….
Here is a recipe I wanted to share with you all!
It’s THE BEST! And it’s super easy….
It’s called Shrimp with Amaretto Butter.
Heres all ya do~
3 tablespoons butter
1/2 medium onion (chopped)
1 pound shrimp (peeled and deveined)
1/2 cup amaretto
1/2 cup slivered almonds
1/2 teaspoon salt
Directions:
1. Melt the butter in a pan and cook until golden brown.
2. Add the onion and saute until they just start to brown.
3. Add the shrimp and saute for 2-3 minutes.
4. Add the amaretto, almonds and salt and saute for 2-3 minutes.
Make sure ya’ll let me know if ya try it…..serve it up with some coconut Jasmine Rice……and INDULGE!!!
skylar
daljdsjfdljf;ljjkd,
werieaeirue;ojf e;arjeuj, eoiarjejrljl?
lerjlejrlej WYHIOUO eruqorjjijua…oueorljfij!
🙂
ErinBrock
Did I ever tell ya what my cleaning lady once told me?
She said…..EB….I’ll NEVER get the toilet clean enough to drink from!
🙂
On that note……go get a bottled water….and stop hanging around the toilet!
skylar
EB, OMG, that sounds incredible. You made me hungry.
ErinBrock
Skylar;
Ajde skjioe adhfkd LOL!
Sjkddig sjdkwei, djkfwiops shceekie slkdioos aw wioh skdhigh sign.
Ghdkriig slioos buvudis~
🙂
ErinBrock
THANK GOD NOT THIRSTY!!!!!