The “sociopath,” boiled down, is someone who routinely does, and takes, what he wants, unconcerned with the impact of his behavior on others. Nothing in my mind defines his essence more than this concise, factual description. He is rather unique, and thus diagnosable as a sociopath, to this precise extent.
Sure, we’ve discussed this before, but it always merits, in my view, fresh reconsideration. And so let me add, I think, an important caveat: The sociopath doesn’t necessarily feel he has the “right” to what he’s pursuing, or planning to take.
Rather, he doesn’t feel he needs the right. He just needs the want.
Simply wanting what he wants, with or without the right to it, meets his standard for laying claim to his quarry.
Because after all, you may ask the sociopath, “Did you have a ”˜right’ to take that? To steal it?” And he may answer, with intellectual honesty, “No. I realize, intellectually, that I had no right to what I took.”
Which gets to the nub, the essence, of his condition: His” right” to what he wanted wasn’t relevant, didn’t even enter his thinking; rather, his wanting it was the sole factor necessary to support his comfortable, non-conflictual pursuit of it.
To sum up, the sociopath’s disordered essence is captured best in his pattern of taking, without remorse, what intellectually he may very well know doesn’t belong to him—he has no right to it—yet he takes it anyway.
To be clear: when I say that the sociopath intellectually can understand he may lack the “right” to what he’s taking, I’m not suggesting that he lacks a sense of entitlement. Quite the contrary: his sense of entitlement is all the more astounding for his intellectual awareness that he may lack the “right” to what he wants, yet still takes it. In doing so, he is exhibiting self-entitlement, and attitudes of contempt, in their gaudiest, most audacious forms.
One always must beware of oversimplifying complicated concepts. The sociopath’s disorder is complex on many levels. Yet on some levels the sociopath’s mentality isn’t so complicated at all. In some respects it’s pretty simple.
In this article I suggest the sociopath is, essentially, that strange, disconcerting, disruptive individual with a history, and pattern, of taking from others what doesn’t belong to him with an impoverished sense of shame and remorse. When you confront an individual with this history and pattern, you are dealing with a sociopath.
What he takes, and even how he takes it, are less relevant considerations that that he takes, with no right.
(This article is copyrighted © 2011 by Steve Becker, LCSW. My use of male gender pronouns is strictly for convenience’s sake and not to suggest that females aren’t capable of the behaviors and attitudes discussed.)
panther
I remember yesterday reading a very definitive post from Circus in which she said, and I’m quoting, “I won’t be coming back.”
I remember at that moment knowing without a doubt that Circus wasn’t going to leave us alone easily. Spaths are REALLY predictable.
Hello Constantine! Nice to see you in here too. I went on a little trip to an old city in Germany last weekend. Twas lovely!
One/Joy, you are such a baddass, foul-mouthed, kung-fu spathinator 🙂 You crack me up!!!!
EB thanks for the recipe! That immediately made me hungry! Seriously! Too bad I’m a vegetarian. I wonder if I could substitute the shrimp with broccoli 😀
I’d really like to know when the results from the humidifier and dehumidifier battle are available for peer review. Do you have the schematics and analysis in the appropriate format? I can pass them along to an expert in the field. He knows exactly how to perform photosynthesis with schematics, but not plants. Quite impressive, I must say.
On another note, it’s a lovely morning over here! I’m going gardening. See you all later…somewhere else.
the sisterhood
Umm…Did I miss something? I am completely confused right now.
Skylar-Did that person post something back to your reply to me? Was your statement about going to the zoo as opposed to studying gorillaz in the wild questioned. I thought that was a great analogy.
Sorry if me responding to that person offended anyone. That was certainly not my intention.
Donna Andersen
Posts from Circus have been deleted – may make some of the other comments confusing
skylar
Thank you Donna!
I got slimed with boredom from that social spaz.
😛
But EB saved the day with her standup comedy.
Sisterhood, I don’t think the evil clown responded to that one, all it kept asking for was my exspath’s address. That was the rope I gave it and it took and and hung itself, over and over. Spaths that can’t keep their mask on are so boring. LOL.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
Thanks Donna.
Louise
2TimeSurvivor:
Yeah, but when do we finally give up? I mean after all, who wants to keep repeating being so hurt you don’t want to live? At this point, I am saying what you said before you were duped again…I will never risk getting hurt again. I cannot put myself out there. Putting myself out there involves risk and I am not willing to risk myself again, no way. I feel like my life was over at 46.
the sisterhood
Oh, that make sense now. Wow, how creepy is that. Now I feel a bit foolish responding to him/her. I fed the monster. So sorry about that. Live and learn, I guess.
panther
Another thank you to Donna.
If only the moderator of “life” could reach in at the appropriate time and delete comments the same way 😉
panther
Yeah, sisterhood, that was weird. And, Sky, boring indeed.
ElizabethBennett
WOW-ya’ll were busy and entertaining after I pooped out early last night. So glad to not see the posts from the circus clown.
EB-looks like you have a new career started as a comedian. Maybe we could put on a show together since I sing. It could be EB squared.