The “sociopath,” boiled down, is someone who routinely does, and takes, what he wants, unconcerned with the impact of his behavior on others. Nothing in my mind defines his essence more than this concise, factual description. He is rather unique, and thus diagnosable as a sociopath, to this precise extent.
Sure, we’ve discussed this before, but it always merits, in my view, fresh reconsideration. And so let me add, I think, an important caveat: The sociopath doesn’t necessarily feel he has the “right” to what he’s pursuing, or planning to take.
Rather, he doesn’t feel he needs the right. He just needs the want.
Simply wanting what he wants, with or without the right to it, meets his standard for laying claim to his quarry.
Because after all, you may ask the sociopath, “Did you have a ”˜right’ to take that? To steal it?” And he may answer, with intellectual honesty, “No. I realize, intellectually, that I had no right to what I took.”
Which gets to the nub, the essence, of his condition: His” right” to what he wanted wasn’t relevant, didn’t even enter his thinking; rather, his wanting it was the sole factor necessary to support his comfortable, non-conflictual pursuit of it.
To sum up, the sociopath’s disordered essence is captured best in his pattern of taking, without remorse, what intellectually he may very well know doesn’t belong to him—he has no right to it—yet he takes it anyway.
To be clear: when I say that the sociopath intellectually can understand he may lack the “right” to what he’s taking, I’m not suggesting that he lacks a sense of entitlement. Quite the contrary: his sense of entitlement is all the more astounding for his intellectual awareness that he may lack the “right” to what he wants, yet still takes it. In doing so, he is exhibiting self-entitlement, and attitudes of contempt, in their gaudiest, most audacious forms.
One always must beware of oversimplifying complicated concepts. The sociopath’s disorder is complex on many levels. Yet on some levels the sociopath’s mentality isn’t so complicated at all. In some respects it’s pretty simple.
In this article I suggest the sociopath is, essentially, that strange, disconcerting, disruptive individual with a history, and pattern, of taking from others what doesn’t belong to him with an impoverished sense of shame and remorse. When you confront an individual with this history and pattern, you are dealing with a sociopath.
What he takes, and even how he takes it, are less relevant considerations that that he takes, with no right.
(This article is copyrighted © 2011 by Steve Becker, LCSW. My use of male gender pronouns is strictly for convenience’s sake and not to suggest that females aren’t capable of the behaviors and attitudes discussed.)
I stumbled on this free complaint site on the internet. It’s called Complaints Board.
It is user friendly. It allowed me to simply complain about Jim. I voiced no emotion. I saw it from a customer point of view.
Here goes the post:…
Jim the handyman, grand marsh, Wisconsin
Posted: 2011-10-17 by Jim’s victim
He takes peoples money and runs
Complaint Rating: 0 % with 0 votes
Company information:
no name
grand marsh, Wisconsin
United States
Jim from Adams/Juneau county Wisconsin is a handyman. He claims to be an electrician or a plumber, and also claims he knows home repair. He charges the high rates of a licensed professional. He doesn’t have a license, and he is unreliable. He gets to the job when he gets to it. He has many excuses… his back hurts, his knees hurt, he didn’t get good sleep. He hits your up for money and doesn’t finish the job. He comes back months later and charges you again, and still the job is not done, and not done correctly. He tells a good story to hook you in.
What I should have added, but I didn’t know how to word it. Is that Jim does a constant shuffle to distract you.
I survived a 4 1/2 year relationship with a psychopath. He sucked me into his world while we were working together. I got fired right before him for hanging out with him. He rarely showed up for work and when he did his eyes were blood shot, bloody noses after coming out of the bathroom, and always charming the one in charge to let him go early.
He beat me. giving me a black eye, bruised lt hip and 2 bites on my forearm. I paid. For everything. His big screen TV, drugs, alcohol, rent, gas and cig money. He talked about our sex life to his friends. I was humiliated.
Now he’s with a cute vulnerable girl 13 years his younger. He’ll suck her dry too.
He can’t make enough money to afford rent so he lives with his parents. He even gets his mom to pay for his only childs clothes for school.
He’s a user and abuser and I’m afraid of him. I blocked his # but he called me on his moms house phone. Basically he told me to keep my mouth shut. However, My husband and best friend never left my side and married me for the second time and we’re very happy with our child.
If you meet a psychopath RUN AWAY!!!!! They are very charming at first but unfortunately very painful and manipulative too. THEY WILL SUCK YOU DRY then make it your fault.
I had my restraining order hearing today, it was a bitter sweet victory. My ex-S – showed up to court hand in hand with his ex-girlfried, which showed me that they have now in the last 2 weeks reconciled and are happility together, of course it hurt me to see that. In addition to that, the attorney provided me with the response the restraining order, he denied ever doing anything to me, furthermore, his now girlfrind (baby momma) presented a statement making me the bad person, the abusive one and accusing me of sending someone to hurt her and her daughter… he also asked that I pay for this attorney.
Anyhow, the judge didnt give us much time and at the end of everything being said, I was given a restraining order but then his attorney said something about the order hurting his client being the he coaches for the school district blah blah blah, so I was given an non-CLETS restraining order good for six months.
I didnt think it was fair that they care to hurt his reputation when he already is an evil person. What a scum… I just have faith that thruth will come out. I wishl them the best.
Your day in court sounds like hell. But at least the judge still believed you over him, and gave you the restraining order, even if it’s a non-CLETS one. BTW what does a non-CLETS mean?
Make sure to get everything documented, everything! When you ask for a renewal you will have documented evidence, and he just hearsay.
You know Alina… that guy and his ex-girlfriend do not even reach as high as your toenail! Not one bit as high!
THank you darwinsmom, non-CLETS means that in wont get in the system, so there will be persay no record of the domestic violence incident if I were in a situation that needed the cops to assist me and all because he coaches at the local High School… what a joke.
The girlfriend part I find it sick, just a month ago they were in the same court fighting over custody and child support and he has said horrible things about her… yet in her desperation to get back with him, she is now making up lies and showing her stupid devotion to satan himself.
Although I supported him throughout his order, I never showed up to court with him out of respect for her. That was their child and therefore their business.
I am heartbroken in so many ways…
Dear Alina,
Okay, first off—-they are NOT ‘HAPPILY” TOGETHER….he is “love bombing” her FOR NOW to get her to say ugly things about you.
REMEMBER when they were in court fighting over the child support? Believe me, she is being HOODWINKED AND FOOLED for NOW but it will NOT LAST.
SO, he is a TEACHER/COACH and he has domestic violence issues? Well, aren’t there still CHARGES pending against him? Well a person who has domestic violence issues should not be “teaching” and being an “example” for students.
‘
Go for his THROAT when you go back to court on the charges….THEN get a CLETS (not a Non-clets) order and keep it active.
When SHE testifies about how bad you are, you might MENTION that they had been in court…oh, see if you can get a copy of the RECORDS of that court hearing on custody and sup-port and copies of the TESTIMONY she gave about what s SHIAT he was then. Good luck! This wasn’t a total loss, but be ASSURED they are NOT ‘happy” together.
Thank you Ox… i just cant stop crying, my head is hurting already. I talked to the detective on the case and he has advised the same thing you mentioned. I need to get a CLETS, the non-one is a joke (thats what he said) specially if it pertains to domestic violence.
I asked the detective today to go full force with a case for his arrest for violating the temporary restraining order, we were waiting on the outcome of today’s hearing. We have proof that he did. I will contact the DA tomorrow to get more information on the pending charges. I plan to being there and making sure that I get the right restraining order. I agree, he is not a good example for his students.
He is actually very aggressive, hurtful and a cheat when it comes to coaching too, he enjoys humiliating the players till they cry – quitting the team is never an option. He alters birth certificates to have older players play in younger divisions. When I used to be the team mom for him, I learned that all the monies we collected from fundraising went towards his gambling.
Alina,
You know this man is DIS-honest, you know he is a CHEAT—you know he will lie and do other things—so don’t grieve that he is with HER—she is NOT THE WINNER IN THIS CONTEST. She gets the BOOBY Prize and you can be assured, HE WILL TREAT HER AS DISHONESTLY AND AS MEAN AS HE HAS YOU. He already has, and he will go back to it as soon as he gets out of her what he wants. (her to lie for him) God has done you a favor by getting this man out of your bed, now let’s get him out of your LIFE, your head and your heart! (((hugs))))
I was stupid to believe that this woman (Spath ex-girlfriend) would use the domestic violence case against her ex and limit the time he spent with their daughter… I know I am spending way too much time and energy on them but I have got to get all these thoughts out of my system… tomorrow will be a better day, a new beginning. I will re-focus.