Update from Gem, daughter of imprisoned con artist

I just received this from Gem (see Realities only family members know) so I thought I would pass it along. You can see how wise a resilient young lady can be and what it takes to cope with a sociopath father.

I just received a new letter from my dad, I thought I would share it with you… and you are welcome to use anything from this letter for blogging purposes or anything else.

” Dear _______(My sweetheart),
How are you G- Boy do I miss you! How is your big senior year going. Hang in there you are almost there. I want to wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day. You are, and always will be my sweetheart. I love you. I pray for you daily, never missed a day since September 5th. Hang in there, trust God- He will be your strength I have a hearing coming up soon for a reconsideration on my sentence. I would appreciate you writing a letter to the judge if you feel you can. I will ask ______ and _____ as well. You can get them to grandm (his mother) and she will take care of everything. We will get it to the judge and what happens after that is God’s will. Either way, thank you for being the best daugter in the world. Hang in there sweetie. God has great things in store for you. I want you to know I can call you but only do so if you let me know it’s ok with you. Please take care of yourself. I love you, I miss you and I pray for you constantly.

Gem said-
I rolled my eyes at a few parts like when he calls me his sweetheart. Or when he prays for me daily… ugh. He NEVER talked to me like this outside of prison. I’m thinking about writing a letter to the judge and saying… he NEEDS to stay in prison!! What do you think???

I replied-
I think their tactics get old and more obvious the older they get. As I started to read the letter, I thought, “I wonder what he wants?” Then my question was answered. It is empowering when you know the tricks don’t work on you any more.

Anyone else wanting to write a letter on behalf of Gem’s father can send it to me!

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45 Comments on "Update from Gem, daughter of imprisoned con artist"

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Dear Meg,

Ohhhhh, the blizzard sounds wonderful and a butterfinger would be nice—add another ten pounds to my ample butt! LOL Glad you treated yourself, you deserve it!!!! It WILL get better and the roller coaster ride will end, and the highs will get more steady and the lows will level out, so just hang in there. It takes some time and work, but in the end, we are stronger and better. TRUST THAT!!!!! ((((hugs))) and always prayers.

Sending hugs your way, Meg. Like OxD said, you WILL get through it. I have been there too. I still have PTSD when he pops into my life, but not because I miss him. It’s because I know how dangerous he is. You, too, will get past the point of missing him and it will get easier from there. Hang in there, and cry if you have to till there are no more tears left. Remember this is what he has put on you. He is no good.


If my dad was in prison, he would have no doubt wrote the same letter. It seems innocuous at first – like he really needs help. If you love him and the family, you’ll sacrifice yourself and your precious time to keep the family together (oh wait a second…that’ the guilt trip he’s been laying on you for years). Back to reality. Best thing, is NO answer. He’ll be knocking harder, longer, at a later time and his momma probably will enlist herself to continue his victim cries for help. Just IGNORE him, that’s the best approach. Help someone who doesn’t screw up other people’s lives. Sadly, confronting him will only mean you want to reason with an INSANE person. It’s truly pointless. Watch Jerry Springer, Oprah, or Dr. Phil if you want to see misery. Just try as you might to IGNORE your dad’s pathetic pleas for sympathy – cause if you don’t YOUR life becomes all about him and nothing about you.

It’s really very sad, when you want to be normal and love your family…but you got stuck with the destructive ones (Ox_Drover).

Unfortunately, we’re not so much in a better position than 20 yrs ago…Then people didn’t talk about their feelings like we do know. And now, our societal boundaries are so lax that outrageous behavior is beginning to feel normal. Listen to your conscience – if a RED FLAG party–is about to get underway – Try not to host it….Hang in there…

“would appreciate you writing a letter to the judge if you feel you can. I will ask ______ and _____ as well. You can get them to grandm (his mother) and she will take care of everything. We will get it to the judge and what happens after that is God’s will. Either way, thank you for being the best daugter in the world. Hang in there sweetie. God has great things in store for you.”

Did ever occur to him that he is saying me, me, me and oh yes, sweetie hang in there. Typical for an S. While in jail still trying to use the family to get out. He doesn’t seem to have accepted responsibility for his actions and is concentrating on what others can do for him.


When I was working as a nurse practitioner for an orthopaedic physician, I had the FATHER of one of our patients come in and ask me to write a letter to the judge. His son, our patient, was going to jail for his 5th driving while drunk charge and the father wanted me to write a letter to the judge saying that his son’s back couldn’t stand to lie on the hard prison beds. (this elderly man was pitiful, but I had no pity for his son) My grandfather and two of my best friends were KILLED by DRUNK DRIVERS. I told the old man, “Of course I will write a letter to the judge about your son’s medicall condition” (I mailed it directly to the judge)

I wrote in the letter that there was NO MEDICAL REASON HE COULD NOT GO TO JAIL. (which was true) and got it co-signed by my physician. Did I tell you I think drunk drivers should be crucified, their bodies left hanging for the crows, for FIRST OFFENSE! LOL

I think Gem SHOULD write a letter to the judge, but not the one that “Daddy dearest” would want, but the TRUTH and send it directly to the judge.

Gem, my son is in prison for murder (and my P-biological father should have been, I KNOW of two people he killed and he claimed more) my son begged for “help” and claimed he was “sorry” and wasn’t “llike that” any more—then he tried to have me killed. In MY opinion there is no such thing as an EX-convict, and I thiink your father is unfortunately one such individual, just like my son.

My son comes up for parole in Jan 2011, and I will be at the parole hearing, TO PLEAD WITH THEM NEVER TO LET HIM OUT. If my son gets out I will have to go into hiding for the rest of my life. Whether you write the judge and tell the truth or ignore your father is your decision, but think carefully befosre you do either. ONLY YOU know how he will be provoked or become dangerous if you cross him. Good luck, young lady, I think you are a SMART COOKIE!

Dear Kathy,
Such a comforting and validating article – I have been in all those stages – sometimes all at once. I have to say I laughed out loud because, I did actually spit in his eye finally, at one of the vile things he said to me.The metaphor became physical… It might not be polite or appropriate behaviour, but by God, I am still glad I did it. It was my wake up call that I was being dragged down to his squalid mental space – the emotional functioning of a three year old in an adult body. Scary now but I am out. Gone. Free. ( Well, getting there.)

I am still in the angry phase. I am still thinking of ways to get revenge so I am definitely not over the anger.
I spoke to one of his “other women” last week when she called the office for him. I asked her directly if they are just friends or more. She said that they have been in a relationship for years without a break. This is the same godson’s mother that he says he treats like a sister. Right!!!
I guess anger at being duped is part of it. The P plays the part so well. Rationalizing everything including having multiple partners and using all of them for money, sex, etc. Mine has an explanation for everything.

I am inspired by this young lady sharing her fathers letter from prison. The way I read the letter is: ” If you don’t bail me out of this situation it will be the worse for you. You can see how desperate I am to get out of here by having to write to you at all. If you give the judge the letter there will be a pay off later.” (We all know there won’t be, but what we don’t know is how low this psychopath will stoop when her letter appears as evidence. Best not to risk sending it to the judge. She might be killed.

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