I just received this from Gem (see Realities only family members know) so I thought I would pass it along. You can see how wise a resilient young lady can be and what it takes to cope with a sociopath father.
I just received a new letter from my dad, I thought I would share it with you… and you are welcome to use anything from this letter for blogging purposes or anything else.
” Dear _______(My sweetheart),
How are you G- Boy do I miss you! How is your big senior year going. Hang in there you are almost there. I want to wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day. You are, and always will be my sweetheart. I love you. I pray for you daily, never missed a day since September 5th. Hang in there, trust God- He will be your strength I have a hearing coming up soon for a reconsideration on my sentence. I would appreciate you writing a letter to the judge if you feel you can. I will ask ______ and _____ as well. You can get them to grandm (his mother) and she will take care of everything. We will get it to the judge and what happens after that is God’s will. Either way, thank you for being the best daugter in the world. Hang in there sweetie. God has great things in store for you. I want you to know I can call you but only do so if you let me know it’s ok with you. Please take care of yourself. I love you, I miss you and I pray for you constantly.
Dad”
Gem said-
I rolled my eyes at a few parts like when he calls me his sweetheart. Or when he prays for me daily… ugh. He NEVER talked to me like this outside of prison. I’m thinking about writing a letter to the judge and saying… he NEEDS to stay in prison!! What do you think???
I replied-
I think their tactics get old and more obvious the older they get. As I started to read the letter, I thought, “I wonder what he wants?” Then my question was answered. It is empowering when you know the tricks don’t work on you any more.
Anyone else wanting to write a letter on behalf of Gem’s father can send it to me!
My N took me to the historic church where he had framed the stained glass at the alter, making sure to point out the signage in the parking lot which he had also made…
He never attended church, not once in the last 2 1/2 years.
His “look at me! I’m a God fearing Christian” thing was all just part of the game. He loved to talk about how he did work for the church.
I’m surprised the church didn’t spontaneously combust when he walked in!
The XS/P grew up without religion of any kind. When we met he initially went to church with me all the time and told me that I “saved him” but he could not define what that meant. Then he started referring to the gym as his temple and would not go to church. While he was stalking and harrassing me he used to call and say “I’m going to pray for you” or “I trust n God to know the truth and to make it right”….. well so do I buddy ! and fate and karma and everything else you have working against you !
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7833672.stm
Psychopaths are better able to succeed in getting early release than non psychopathic criminals.
Not good news for Ox Drover or Gem, but relevant enough I thought I’d post it.
Well, I ust had a conversation with the Trojan Horse’s parole officer and the parole officer’s supervisor.
Seems that the TH-P CALLED MY MOTHER after his release wanting to know if she had “forgiven him” and telling her that he was going to be “homeless” in a couple of weeks and wanting to know if she would loan him some money. Then he wanted to know if she had anything of his left and she said she only had a few photographs from his childhood and had thrown everything else away. He wanted to know if he could come get it and she said No, but she did let some little old 70 year old man from some church where the TH-P is now attending, and I am sure getting new victims for his cons, come get the stuff. I didn’t know about this until today when I had to send son D over to Mom’s to take some business papers that I needed mom to sign.
Sheesh! I called the parole officer and spoke to him, but he didn’t even KNOW there was a restraining order in the papers, so I ended up talking to his (female) supervisor who was more empathetic to my plea and my “crazy story” (I also told her she could contact the sheriff of my county for verification that I was not some “paranoid nut case” if she wanted verification.) I assured her that the Parole board had tried some illegal stuff in the past UNTIL I HAD THREATENED TO GO TO THE MEDIA AND THE GOVERNOR and that I was more than a little frustrated. I also quoted several of Dr. Anna Salter’s books on child molesters. I asked the supervisor if she had ever known ONE CHILD MOLESTER who had not reoffended, and she hesitated a moment and said “Well, no.”
I said, “well, you can BET YOUR LIFE he will reoffend.” She ended the conversation by saying that they would keep a closer eye on him.
I feel so sorry for those people in that church—the P’s happy hunting grounds! He knows how to “repent” and make you believe it….it literally makes me sick to my stomach, but I need to get over it.
Even the indirect “contact” with him and/or mother throws me in to the abyss of the “shot at and missed, chit-at and hit” feeling in the pit of my stomach. Took a little detour off the road to Healing there and hit a pot hole!
Thanks for the link, Elizabeth. I don’t doubt that they finagle their ways out of prison sooner than your average “con” but fortunately, my P-son and the TH-P have such lack of impulse control they have been nailed repeatedly for repeat crimes and breaking the rules of the prison. The last term the TH-P served in Texas, he didn’t get parole at all–they held him to the last day legally possible. So when he did get out he wasn’t on parole at all.
I’m so sorry, OxD. We can only hope he screws up and ends up back in prison. It is so unfair that these people are set free. My P also returned. He is back on the reptile site. He made a grand introduction, saying he has gone through some hard times but everything is fine now (translation–the army probably did nothing to punish him). Life is really unfair sometimes. I now have to leave the site and all my friends there behind. Life is really unfair. But we will all get through this.
Ox-D: I am thinking of you tonight. I know — we think it’s behind us, and then . . . something new. I am so sorry to hear this.
Stay strong, so you can be ready to take any measures possible when the opportunities arise.
Did you use the skillet on the supervisor?
Wait, I think this calls for a baseball bat from the LF armory.
All I can is Gen is OMG…..
Yes, it very nice when we can see thru these tactics and know them for what they really are…
THANKS RUNE!
No, but I used the skillet on the PO, and then talked to his supervisor….she at least pretended to have empathy. I’m not sure if she did or not,, but at least she was respectful and listened and said that they would keep a closer eye on him. I think the question I asked her about “Have you EVER seen a child molester that did NOT reoffend?” and she had to answer “NO” I think that made her think about what the Trojan Horse was and not just that she was dealing with a cranky old woman trying to cause trouble for her and her office.
She knows enough to KNOW that child molesters ALWAYS REOFFEND. That is a given, well known to everyone who has to deal with them. There IS NO CURE for them, because they are all psychopaths. NO ONE except a psychopath would be a child molester. Psychopaths have no cure, so it is obvious that they WILL reoffend. It is just a matter of catching them. I DID let the supervisor know, too, that if he offends again, that I will be on the 6 O’clock news along with a copy of the letter I sent them about what I knew about him, so it is in their best interest to know that I am a cranky old witch that will bring a BRIGHT LIGHT TO SHINE ON ANY LACK OF OVERSITE of this particular parolee who IS DANGEROUS. They ahve been warned and it behooves them to take that warning SERIOUSLY and to monitor him carefully.
Of course, it saddens me that he has this whole entire little church of kind and caring new victims that he is playing off of. But, there is nothing I can do about that. He is probably living with one of the church members, or they are giving him money or all of the above, and sooner or later he will take advantage of one of them and move on, or get caught abusing someone’s child or grandchild. I just hope he goes back to prison before he does too much more damage, but I do not doubt that he will do damage.
I can only LAUGH about him trying to borrow money from my mother! (head shaking here) Talk about BALLS!!!!
I’m even not very worried about HIM coming back here because he knows that my son D and I are ARMED and would not hesitate to protect ourselves…plus, he isn’t really sure where we are. I am more concerned about the NEXT Trojan Horse or stalker that my son sends after us and I won’t know who it is. Needless to say though, in our small community strangers do stick out and strangers are not well received here until we find out who they are.
Yesterday was kind of a stressful day, just even thinking about mom and the Trojan HOrse, but over all I am doing so much better and not living in CONTINUAL STRESS that I am building up some RESERVES to cope with it when I do have some stress.
I got on another site and took a “quiz” that Sandra Brown had put a link to about adrenaline overload and stress over load and I “Passed with flying colors” (passed, in a test you want to “fail” LOL) BUT the good part was it was a “past” and a “now” test and I am doingi much much MUCH better in the NOW than I was doing in the past. So I am improving, and I am noticing that when I do get a stress-jolt, the effects don’t last as long because my body’s stress mechanisms are not all TIRED OUT AND OVERLOADED. My body CAN respond appropriately.
oxy,
I can imagine the stress of all this. You seem to be so strong and you seem to handle it all well. Your behavior and responses to the P are a good example for all of us. Considering it is your son, I can’t imagine how much more difficult the whole thing must have been for you. Protect yourself. i know that you know this !