Geraldo Rivera provided his analysis of the ”¦ Natalee Holloway disappearance case. Prime suspect Joran Van Der Sloot has given a series of interviews proclaiming his total innocence. “The lie that he has fastened on,” Rivera pronounced, “is that he took her on the beach but didn’t have sex because he didn’t have a condom, then left her on the there. It’s at odds with the story he told earlier, but as he tells this story he becomes more confident and more glib. I believe there is a pathological aspect to this man.” The Factor concurred that Van Der Sloot seems psychologically unbalanced. “I can’t figure out why he wants do these interviews because he comes off as a sociopath. If he makes one slip-up he’s done. It looks to me like he’s a danger junkie – he likes this cat-and-mouse game, it’s exciting to him” (source)
Does it matter whether or not Joran van der Sloot is a sociopath/psychopath? Why not just be satisfied that he is a “criminal” and an evil person?
Yes, it does matter, because when dealing with a sociopath the usual rules of human interaction do not apply. Anyone who treats a sociopath as they would a non-disordered person is likely to get burned and to be implicated in the evil that sociopath does. Joran van der Sloot’s story illustrates this principle.
Joran’s father, Paulus, was an attorney many believed knew the truth about what happened to Natalie Halloway, the first young woman Joran was accused of murdering. Paulus strongly supported his son after the murder accusations first arose, and was even charged himself as an accessory after the fact, though the charges were dropped.
Paulus van der Sloot died of a sudden cardiac death last February and so did not live to see the result of his enabling of his son. Joran’s mother, Anita, is now alone to deal with the repercussions of the family’s enabling.
The lesson to be learned is that if you have a family member who has been charged with a serious crime, and that family member has psychopathic personality traits, or is diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, DO NOT HELP THAT PERSON IN ANY WAY.
Over and over again, we have said on this website that sociopaths are able to do evil in a large part because they are enabled by family members and various governmental agencies- including the judicial system and law enforcement. Well, law enforcement does it again.
It turns out that the FBI wired Joran $25,000 as part of a “sting” operation, as they were trying to arrest him for shaking down Natalie Halloway’s parents. According to former agent Paul Lindsay, “the FBI formula for extortion stings is, “set ’em up, pay ’em off, get ’em to talk, never let them leave the room without handcuffs on.” Because the FBI did not understand the psychology of their suspect, they let him leave the room and were out smarted by a sociopath.
The lesson to be learned here is that next time the FBI wants to sting a sociopath they should contact Lovefraud so that Donna and I can tell them not to give a sociopath any money”¦ that is unless they want the sociopath to use the money to kill someone.
One more lesson to be learned from the van der Sloot case is that media psychiatrists should stop confusing people with their false categorical statements. I came across this analysis of van der Sloot by psychiatrist Keith Ablow (who I have criticized before):
“Serial killers whether organized or disorganized are always made, never born. Having interviewed dozens of killers myself, I can tell you that it turns out that evil never appears ”˜out of the womb’.”
Well, I knew Rodney Alcala, and I can tell you that he was born with a disposition to become a serial killer that was present in his early childhood. Serial killers are both born and made. Evil is in the genes of some people but like many other traits it needs the right soil to take root and blossom.
This is EXACTLY why I don’t jump to sympathize with Joran’s mother, she is an enabler who has become an accomplice to pure evil:
JORAN VAN DER SLOOT A ‘ROMANTIC’ AND ‘INNOCENT’ ACCORDING TO EX-GIRLFRIEND & MOM
http://www.etonline.com/news/2010/06/88394/
It’s happening … Last night on Nancy Grace’s Show in the segment about Joran Van Der Sloot a psychiatrist finally told the audience what the difference was between a sociopath versus a psychopath … stating Van Der Sloot is a psychopath that lives his life as a parasite, conning people with his lies and will cause bodily harm or death to fulfill his sexual gratification.
Dear PureWater,
I agree that many times there is an ENABLER in the background that is what I call a PSYCHOPATH-BY-PROXY , my egg donor is my P-son’s PBP and enables him to live better in prison (and if Joran’s family sends even a little bit of money he can live high wide and handsome in a Peruvian prison with lots of perks from the guards and inmates.
I do know though, that there are SOME family members who are NOT enablers, or who IF THEY WERE HAVE STOPPED and realized what they are doing. I am one of the latter. I did enable him, but now that I know better I am doing better.
Also, many times there is a PARENT who is a psychopath in the family. I think Scot Peterson’s mother is one, as well as his defender and enabler. Her life history is pretty “complex” shall we say. That Anthony girl who killed her child is a P and I think her5 mother is also a P or BPD and they used the child to bash each other about, neither one really caring for the CHILD just using it as a weapon.
But I DO know other parents who are victims of their P children —there are a bunch of them here on this blog.
Thanks for the link though, at leasst I don’t have to waste a bunch of pity on his mother if she’s enabling him, but maybe that’s worse than if she saw the truth! Either way, she’s one unhappy woman.
OxDrover,
I really hope that this woman, if she doesn’t have a personality disorder too, finds help to understand what she’s doing – and what she’s caught up in.
My resentment comes from once being an enabler, myself (the psychopath-by-proxy) – with my ex, and realizing what I had allowed myself to be caught up in… and seeing his mother enable him to continue destroying lives…
We cannot support evil in any way. One can’t serve two masters, you know?
Oxy, that’s why God’s wisdom (truth) needs to be plainly taught, scripture by scripture, book by book in all our churches and STOP with this man made preaching of man’s logic that benefits NO ONE but those preaching this baloney and those backing these FALSE preachers. People need truth to live. They are being deceived by man made lies. If Jesus’ truth was brought back into our school systems, public building, forget this baloney of division of church and state … all this EVIL thinking and doing would be erased.
Our society is bombarded with EVIL … from buy this so you can be the best that you are meant to be, eat this and don’t eat that … look this way and don’t look this way, , do this and don’t do that … let your kids do this and don’t do that, mom and dad do this and don’t do that … brothers/sisters do this and don’t do that as you buy, buy, buy … to satisfy your needs. It’s all baloney and it’s all EVIL. The last 4 generation hadn’t a chance to live a spiritual, loving, fulfilling life with all this EVIL pumped into their lives via TV, radio, magazines, books, music etc.. The only thing anyone on earth needs is to hear God’s truth. Period. God will take it from there. The Truth (Jesus) will set you free.
Peace.
Dear Purewater,
I totally agree with you, but I also know that DENIAL is what keeps someone from DYING from the pain of admitting that the child they loved grew up to be a MONSTER and a KILLER. That pain is SO TERRIBLE that as painful as denial is, it is less (at the time we think anyway) than accepting the TRUTH that you have given birth to “Rosemary’s Baby.”
I have dealt with other psychpaths that i loved, but the P-son was the most painful and most difficult for me to accept. Plus, I would have to accept one and before I finished peeling that onion another one would step up so I had SEVERAL onions all a peelling at once in various stages of progress.
Coming to grips with “my son is a monster” is even AT BEST probably more than she can handle. The ex gf I just blow off entirely she’s just looking for her 15 minutes of fame. The mother, one way or anotehr is HURTING. If she is also a P (I think the father was the P in the family so she is probably the enabler) she is hurtin because her PROPERTY is damaged, but if she is the enabler, she is hurting because she couldn’t fix her son and can’t accept he is a monster. Many people never are able to cut those strings and ACCEPT that their child is a monster. My grandmother never could, my egg donor can’t with my P son, and so on.
I am only now setting THICK and protective BRICK WALLS to keep evil at bay and no I cannot serve two masters. I have to keep the boundaries solid and real. It is difficult at times, but it is working for me.
OxDrover,
Thank you for speaking the truth from your perspective. It helps soothe an anger inside of me that I have a hard time dealing with. I’m struggling with having to forgive, as well, and give things over to the Lord. It’s a final battle, so to speak.
I can’t imagine the pain that you’ve gone through. In fact, it’s my worst fear. And, I hope you’ll be patient with my responses, because if there’s anyone’s perspective I want to hear, it’s from mothers who have had to “lose their children” to this disease.
I just feel so resentful and angry at the damage that is caused by these sociopaths, that I’m just frothing at the mouth just trying to find the source of it all – people to distribute the blame and responsibility on.
But, when I take a step back, I realize there are other people who are suffering – Natalie Holloway’s mother, you, the survivors here. All victims of different sorts. People, just like me, some with much worse outcomes, left to grapple with their losses.
All of your comments are fascinating to me! I have to go back and read more about what you are saying.
I have always been fascinated with the subject of psychopathology–etc., probably because I was surrounded by such people.
This could keep my ATTENTION (ha, ha, I couldn’t resist the little joke about ADHD) for years!
I’ll write more after I’ve read what you’ve all said more thoroughly. You can tell I’m ADHD, right?
When I requested more paragraph breaks, for eg.
I love the word “Co-morbid,” but it does sound a little well, morbid.
Anywhooo, it seems that all the mood disorders are co-morbid with alcoholic families too. And also the impulse control disorders.
fpt
Dear Pure Waters,
Let me suggest a book to you, it is by Dr. Viktor Frankl who wrote it after he got out of the Nazi camps after WWII it is called “Man’s search for meaning” and it talks about the emotional and mental fall out from losing everything and the hardships they endured in those camps, and the different ways different people either handled or didn’t handle it.
He also had a HORRIBLE TIME, but he said something that made my pain OK, it was that Pain acts like a GAS. It expands to fill the largest container, or compresses to fill the smallest, so any container filled wiht a gas is TOTALLY filled.
Now think about this. Your pain TOTALLY fills you. My pain TOTALLY fills me. Each of us has TOTAL pain. No one more and no one less, each is TOTAL.
Now that is pretty profound when you think about it. TOTAL PAIN.
Sure I would like to have a scapegoat to lay the blame on and turn it loose in the wilderness to take my sin away, to put the guilt on that goat. But the thing is that I also made mistakes. I also made bad choices, and the consequences to me were partly the result of MY choices to continue relationships with these people in spite of what they did to hurt me.
I know partly WHY I did this now, and I am learning to DO BETTER now. I had troubles with forgiving MYSELF more than I did forgiving them. I had more trouble learning to TRUST myself again than I had in realizing I could NEVER TRUST THEM AGAIN.
I will never be “wholly natural” with this life style because I didn’t learn the “language” of boundries when I was a child and should have learned them. I am learning it as a “second language” and I’m not real good at it, so I have to stop and think at each transaction, but I’m starting to get BETTER.
Hang in there, there is a LOT to absorb and learn! (((Huig))))
OxDrover;
“Sure I would like to have a scapegoat to lay the blame on and turn it loose in the wilderness to take my sin away, to put the guilt on that goat. But the thing is that I also made mistakes. I also made bad choices, and the consequences to me were partly the result of MY choices to continue relationships with these people in spite of what they did to hurt me.
I know partly WHY I did this now, and I am learning to DO BETTER now. ”
I could not agree more 100%.
Most humans have problems and issues, even those who seemingly have it all. Certainly, those who fall victim to sociopaths or other toxic individuals have some underlying problem or problem making them vulnerable to manipulation.
What makes us different from sociopaths, other than feeling remorse for our choices actions and actions, is that we seek self-improvement. Sociopaths do not.