The concept of the sociopath as “masking sanity,” originally from Hervey Cleckley, MD, and since as confirmed and elaborated by other experts, is certainly chilling, great, profound and often-times apt.
But I’d suggest we be careful not to apply it too indiscriminately. In other words, not all sociopaths “wear masks” in the classic sense of Cleckley’s concept. For this reason, if you’re looking for “masks” as a prerequisite to confirming the sociopath, you risk missing the sociopath.
Some sociopaths are more manifestly who they are—sociopaths. They aren’t “masking” much of anything. They aren’t necessarily taking brilliant precautions to conceal themselves.
Like many human beings they aren’t wearing “neon signs” advertising their personality type or personality disorder—rather, they are who they are in their daily lives, not necessarily more consciously disguised in their personalities than anyone else.
The individual suffering from “panic disorder” who takes measures not to make his panic obvious isn’t necessarily wearing a “mask.” He may be effecting a certain normal, selective decision about which aspects of his personality or experience he is or isn’t comfortable making obvious or transparent in the moment.
Many sociopaths are surprisingly undisguised, or certainly no more disguised, about their personalities than non-sociopaths. In some cases I’d suggest the opposite is true: Because many sociopaths are adventure-seeking, under-inhibited and less anxious about the impression they make on others, on top of being inclined to grandiosity and thereby possessing a heightened sense of immunity from the consequences of their attitudes and behaviors, they may reveal even more transparently and less self-consciously aspects of their “real” personality than will non-sociopaths, whose greater self-consciousness around others and greater respect (in general) for others’ boundaries will have an inhibitory effect on what aspects of themselves they choose to reveal.
I’m not suggesting that many sociopaths aren’t master disguisers and impressively covert, calculating manipulators. Of course they are. But we don’t want to fall into the trap of assuming that all of them are, as this puts us, I am suggesting, at risk of missing the many exceptions to the classic sociopathic profile.
Thus we want to be careful to avoid making sweeping generalizations about the presentation of any personality disorder, including sociopaths.
For instance, some sociopaths aren’t even particularly disguised about how manipulative they are. They can be audaciously, almost blatantly manipulative, whether effectively or not. The less good they are, the more “transparent” their manipulativeness is. There’s not much “masking” going on here.
Same with lying: some sociopaths are bad liars. Lying itself doesn’t constitute the wearing of a mask. You can be a transparently bad liar; you can even admit you are a liar, or that you lie frequently and “get over” on others, or “try getting over” on others as a tendency; and while this may qualify you as having sociopathic characteristics, it does not, perforce, mean you are wearing a “mask.”
It may mean, quite simply, that you are being who you are, whether you are boldly, recklessly impulsive; shockingly insensitive and callous to someone else’s experience; or shameless and guiltless as you “steal something” from someone that isn’t yours.
In the latter case, you may make little disguise or pretense of your shamelessness, or lack of guilt. You might just be acting exactly as the sociopath acts. That is, there be very little to “unmask;” what may be primary in such cases is merely to identify the attitudes and behaviors themselves, which may be sociopathic.
I will advance this discussion in a near-term article.
(This article is copyrighted © 2012 by Steve Becker, LCSW. My use of the male gender pronoun is strictly for convenience’s sake and not to suggest that females aren’t capable of exhibiting the attitudes and behaviors discussed.)
Ox Drover
My Uncle Monster (egg donor’s brother) didn’t wear the mask when he was drunk…the REAL him came out.
As a result of this I tend to think that people who are drunk are the “real McCoy”—my reasoning is that alcohol dis-inhibits the higher thinking centers of the brain. Therefore it is more difficult for people to “mask” themselves when they are drunk.
So if a person is an arse when he is drunk, I tend to think that he would LIKE TO BE AN ARSE WHEN HE IS SOBER but he doesn’t have the guts to “be himself” and so masks himself sober. The sober him is the FAKE, and the drunk him is the REAL PERSON.
It’s funny, but the few times in the last 40+ years I have had too much to drink I want to sing and dance, neither of which I do adequately much less “well.” LOL But both of which I would LIKE to do. My inhibitions against singing and dancing are overcome and I think I can do them. Oh, my, some of my funniest memories of those times. The people who become abusive and use alcohol as an excuse are in my opinion, just showing what is behind the mask.
Allergic to Spandex
Oxy,
If you’ve heard that old saying about “dance like nobody’s watching,” I would add “Sing like nobody’s listening”!
I am physically disabled (and have always been clumsy), and I have a singing voice fit for… silent film! Do them anyway. Who cares? Life is too short to imagine Simon Cowell following you around and trying to poop on your enjoyment.
G
Louise
Oxy:
I agree 100% about the drunk.
Ox Drover
Lady Sweet G,
I not only laughed but HOWLED at your post above! I DO sing when no one is listening. In the shower, in the yard, to the cattle, to myself….and I enjoy it even when I don’t sing well (which is most of the time) I come from a family of singers and actually I did sing when I was young, and pretty well, but smoking RUINED my voice which is now not sweet like it was.
Your post above made my day Lady SG! I do have a voice fit for the movies……SILENT FILM! I’m gonna steal that one! LOL ROTFLMAO
behind_blue_eyes
Regarding drink, I am the same way. Shy in social situations until the alcohol kicks in!
There was a pattern with the x-spath. All the “WTF” moments came after he had several drinks, yet he claims he is “chill and friendly.”
Until he has a few drinks…
Maybe there should be a chapter in Donna’s book about plying dates with alcohol to see what happens. If they sing and dance, no problem. If they get aggressive, argumentative, or demeaning, run!
Louise
BBE:
Interesting.
Mine was the same, drinking or not drinking. What’s up with that?? He is an alcoholic. He may have been just a bit more apt to say things when he was drinking, but when I look back, not really. He was apt to say pretty much the same things even sober. An enigma as usual.
Does anyone know if that is a very high tolerance to alcohol when a person doesn’t really change when they are drinking?
G1S
Yes, I know.
A high tolerance for alcohol, i.e., not appearing drunk and/or not changing one’s behavior when consuming alcohol, is a trait of alcoholics.
People in Alcoholics Anonymous call New Year’s Eve “amateur night.”
darwinsmom
Mine could be a sweet drunk or obnoxious drunk, just as much as he could be sweet sober or obnoxious sober. The only difference was that when he was drunk he’d end up in a physical brawl sooner. He was substance addicted (alcohol, cocaine, marihuana)
I sing only when sober (in the car, when all by myself) and dance irregardless. I’m chatty as it is, but when drunk I I have to be careful not to bore people, because I don’t come to the point anymore. (only social drinker, never alone, and I can go out on water… but have a reasonable tolerance. I’d only start to feel alcohol around 3/4 wine glasses, 5 beers, 3 tequila shots)
Louise
G1S:
Thanks for that confirmation…that’s what I suspected and thought to be the case…a trait of an alcoholic with a high tolerance. Sad.
Ox Drover
G1S, my Now-Ex BF who was the P was a “secret” drinker and I suspect he had a high tolerance for alcohol as well, so i think he was probably drinking when I wasn’t aware of it. I found bottles he had hidden around the place of Vodka. I also found one under the seat of his truck once when I was looking for something else.
Since my grandfather and two close friends were all killed by drunk drivers, you can only imagine what I feel about people who DRIVE DRUNK or STONED. Crucifiction for the FIRST offense, and leave their body for the crows—get tough if there is a second offense. LOL I helped bury a 21 year old young woman killed by her BF drunk driving on Christmas Eve….I will never forget that. she had grown up next door to me and her mother was my closest friend. Two years later we buried her father hit by a drunk driver when he was broken down on the road, and a year after that we buried my grandfather who had been hit by a drunk beer truck driver who ran a stop sign.
When I worked for the orthopaedic physician I had a patient’s father come to me and ask me to write a letter to the judge for his son and to say that Junior couldn’t go to jail for his FIFTH DWI because of his bad back, he couldn’t sleep on those platforms the jail provides as “beds.”
I told daddy I would be GLAD to write a letter to the Judge and I sent it directly to the judge—indicating that a hard surface would be great for Junior’s bad back. I will cherish that day and the chance to write a letter to the judge til I die!