What a difficult question this is—exactly what defines the sociopath?
 Joseph Neuman Ph.D, psychopathy researcher, in an extensive interview (see link to this interview previously provided by Donna Anderson: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmZgnCHweLM) addresses this and other questions about psychopaths.
Neuman’s research, if I understand him correctly (and I did not find him to be particularly clear in his explanations) yields a picture of the psychopath, surprisingly, not as primarily emotionally defective, but rather as emotionally defective secondary to certain forms of attentional problems.
Neuman makes some interesting and, to my mind, somewhat puzzling observations. For instance, and consistent with his basic premise, he actually suggests that psychopaths may be more inclined to genuinely assist someone they perceive to be in need than non-psychopaths. Did I hear that correctly? I think so.
Neuman also suggests that the psychopath’s capacity for this kind of humane response is unfortunately, or effectively, nullified (in others’ eyes) by his more antisocial, knucklehead behaviors. Did I hear this correctly, too? I think I did.
Neuman’s basic premise—again, if I understand him correctly—is that psychopaths aren’t so much fundamentally defective emotionally as much as their emotional capacities which, alas, may be much more normal than otherwise appreciated, are essentially obscured, effectively immobilized, by their over-attention, their over-focus on their particular, momentary interest(s).
So, to be clear, if I’m understanding Neuman, he’s suggesting that psychopaths (at least some, if not many) may indeed have normal emotions, perhaps even a normal range of emotions; the problem is that they don’t “attend” to their emotions because they aren’t “cueing” to the signals that should steer them to recognize, and be better regulated, by their emotions.
Neuman suggests that when psychopaths can be directed to focus on these cues and signals, his research shows that they can and do access a range of more normal emotions. This should and, Neuman says, does result in their coming under the better, and more appropriate, stewardship of their emotions (my italics, not his).
Now on one hand, Neuman says he’s not denying that an emotional deficit lies at the core of psychopathy. Yet it seems to me that this is exactly what he’s questioning! What he is saying in the interview, it seems to me, again and again, is that, at the heart of psychopathy is less an emotional deficit than a kind of attentional deficit, a signal-attuning deficit, the consequence of which is to detach the psychopath from connection to his underlying capacity to feel, and be better regulated in his behavior, by his emotions.
Now perhaps I’ve badly misinterpreted what I heard Neuman saying. I will leave that to other LoveFraud readers to weigh in.
Also, consistent with what I hear him saying throughout the interview, Neuman takes the rather radical stance that once a psychopath, not necessarily always, hopelessly, permanently a psychopath.
He suggests, rather, that if interventions can be developed that, for instance, can help psychopaths more effectively attune to the signals that will steer their attention to their healthier emotions, well then”¦NASA, we may have arrived at something of a cure, or palliative, for psychopathy.
He envisions interventions, if I understand him properly, that would effectively liberate the humanity within the psychopath, which is obscured, if not immobilized, by his attentional problems.
Because again, he is not saying that psychopaths necessarily lack emotions, or even a range of normal emotions; remember, he goes so far as to say that some psychopaths, including those with whom he’s worked, have shown evidence of an even greater (and genuine!) responsiveness to those in need than non-psychopaths. The problem, he stresses, is that psychopaths, by virtue of their overfocus on present, reward-driven interests, are basically disconnected from their emotions. At least this is what I understand him to be saying.
Neuman makes another interesting observation. Citing Hervey Cleckley, MD, he suggests that the psychopath may have an even weaker drive to acquire what he wants than the normal individual. The problem, he says, is that their “restraints” are even weaker than their “urges.” He describes this as a case of their “weaker urges breaking through even weaker restraints.”
Neuman also asserts that you can’t define psychopathy by behaviors and actions, including, he says, actions like “defrauding” people. I understand his general point—the idea that psychopathy’s essence may be more a reflection of a mentality than specific actions.
However, a pattern of certain actions, especially exploitive actions, can reflect, can reveal, the mind—and the disorder—behind it.
As I understand Neuman, let us say we have someone who is in the process of perpetrating a cold-blooded armed robbery—and not, say, the first he’s perpetrated. He’s prepared to bind, blindfold and shoot all potential witnesses to the crime. This way he can take what he came for and not get fingered, identified, in the act. Let us say he has done this before, remorselessly.
Neuman seems to suggest that, horrible as this act would be, it’s not necessarily indicative of a psychopath. Maybe he’s right.
But let’s say this individual is a Hare-diagnosed psychopath. Neuman also seems to be proposing the idea that the killer’s primary issue isn’t necessarily the absence, somewhere, of appropriate and potentially self-regulating emotion; rather, he’s so overfocused on taking care of the business at hand—robbing, and removing witnesses to the robbery—that he’s unable to attune to the kinds of signals that would lead him to recognize, and fall under the prosocial influence, of his more normal, humane emotions.
So that, if somehow, in the course of the perpetrating of his crime, you could somehow cue him to the signals that might lead him to recognize his more “humane” emotions, you might, theoretically, be able to short-circuit the robbery and coldblooded murdering of the witnesses!
Really? That’s an interesting concept, but it’s not one that strikes me as necessarily plausible. In general, as I listened to Neuman, I found that he depicted the psychopath specifically, and psychopathy in general, in terms that seemed to me much too benign; as if the psychopath, in Neuman’s view and based on his research, isn’t necessarily lacking in humanity as much as he’s lacking certain qualities that would enable his humanity to express itself in more visible, self-regulating, prosocial ways?
What was your take on the interview?
(This article is copyrighted (c) 2010 by Steve Becker, LCSW. My use of male gender pronouns is strictly for convenience’s sake and not to suggest that females aren’t capable of the behaviors and attitudes discussed.)
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oxy – we are abused and disbelieved in context – family, firends, professionals, community, etc. so affirmation from those sources is important also.
there are so many places inside that are bruised and weary…every little bit of healing that comes our way is important.
Oxdrover;
Good news and what a big relief for you. Ever consider consulting work as an expert witness?
Oxy….validation from someone in power of helping us is pretty powerful and definately something to get excited about.
the alternative sucks!
So….every once in awhile…..we find someone who get’s it….and is also in a postition to help us!
HOW EXCITING IS THAT!!!!! It takes a certain burdon off our minds.
Great news……GOGIRL!!!!
🙂
“double chocolate mocha pecan cookies ”
Mmmmmmm!
With any new job….it takes time to find our way. Feel peeps out, and learn the boundaries.
It’s funny how our discussions change over time about the topic…..they kind of mellow…..(i found)….and we let others tell us THEIR experiences and keep asjing leadingquestions.
good for you One…..Progress is abound!
It really does change…..it does get better……and are able to find a way through!
MMMMMMmmm double chocolate mocha pecan cookies !!!!
I’m going to bed…..got a crown today…..so my mouth is sore.
It’s another step in my ‘recovery’ and taking back ME.
I broke this tooth in 2007. And spath refused to pay for a crown…..and when I went in….I couldn’t get it done because of the radiation……so……today…..got the temporary…..and I now have a whole tooth in my mouth.
So….if I ever get to kiss a prince…..I won’t cut his tongue with my broken back tooth!
(Come to think of it….if a prince stuck his tongue that far back in my mouth…..he’d deserve to be cut!!)) 🙂
blindsided31, I think what you describe compatible with what Newman described, but he might use other terms.
You say your P didn’t have any love for you at all, just an agenda.
Newman’s description leaves that possibility open.
But he would probably say it in these terms: Your P couldn’t shift his attention away from his feelings of power to developing any tender feelings for you. He could only feel one “agenda” at a time, and act in service to that.
Love.
Or power.
Newman says such people are capable of normal emotions, they just don’t access them all easily — or at the same time. No emotional multitasking.
So your P might have even had some tender feelings for you at one time, and he was quite good at convincing you because he might have even believed it himself at that time. But when he switched over to feeling the power trip, he remembered no love at all. “I love you? I said I love you? When was that? You must be crazy!”
And I read further into Newman’s study — that the agenda itself may have been a result of the P’s initial feeling of something — in some people, that initial feeling is a need for power over another person — and staying with that. Getting stuck in that. Not able to connect the dots between that need and the “loving” behavior he once exhibited. No consistency. He can be one person one day, and another person the next, and not see the difference.
I think that’s the difference between a P and an ordinary a-hole. The ordinary a-hole just wants power over others, but he doesn’t have the skills to compartmentalize his feelings. He can actually be talked out of it in some way. Change his mind if he likes you enough. Feel two things at the same time: Greed and guilt.
By contrast, when dealing with someone who compartmentalizes, you’re the “crazy” one, connecting the dots, remembering something that happened and feeling upset about it at that moment.
Not him. What thing that happened? Huh?
On occasion, some of these people can even see what it was they did, and they’re shocked! Oh my God, was that me? Forgive me! (Or, more likely, feeling sad about their affliction and breaking down crying, like a woman who slugged me in the subway did. She made herself the victim! The cops were laughing; they see this all the time. Either way, it’s “all about them.”)
But then he forgets, and he does it again. Emotional ADD.
Eventually, people like this become very good at rationalizations. Weird justifications for what they did. Because none of it makes any sense, really. It’s a broken jigsaw puzzle, and it needs to be put back together to form a coherent story. They’ll jump at the first excuse that comes their way.
So you get upset, and he says, Look at what a nut job my ex is! Is it any wonder I finally hit her? And of course, I had to take the kids, the house, and the car. . . .
I’m remembering someone in my hometown right now. This guy, let’s call him Mark, was dating someone I had known in high school, let’s call her Pauline. Pauline had once told me she was engaged to Mark. Not just dating. Engaged.
So I saw Mark at a party a few years later and asked him how Pauline was. Pauline who?
I started wondering about Pauline and her fantasy “engagement.”
But recently, I saw Mark at a party again. He was there with a much younger woman, very attractive, minidress, sweet, intelligent. That whole stereotype of the midlife-crisis guy with the cute blonde on his arm. Not that there’s anything wrong with following your bliss! Go for it! But there was this strange, life-of-the-party, ain’t-I-the-greatest-guy vibe about him.
I’m starting to wonder about Mark.
By the way, Mark was in the used car business. His reputation in that wasn’t great.
More troubling, his stories are not consistent, but he’s really good at making everyone believe them, even seems to believe them himself.
Good luck to the young blonde woman. Really. She deserves better.
Dear Sister,
For what it’s worth and what it costs you—here’s my opinion. I think the psychopaths know that there is something that we get out of sex and relationships that THEY DON’T. (From the oxytocin, bonding hormone, that they can’t process) I think that is one reason they tend to jump from partner to partner sexually is that each time they jump they think “this one might be it.”
I think they sort of want a relationship, but never seem to really bond with “that” person and they move on to another one. They first start out maybe with hopes (some of them know they are conning from the start) but even with hopes, it never materializes, is never what they “really” wanted, so they start abusing because they feel that the partner/friend/lover is the one at FAULT for not meeting their expectations and they are angry and disappointed in not having their needs met.
So if having a “feeling” can be defined as any of the above, then I’d agree that they do have…but otherwise, I’ve never seen any honest caring in any of them.
Good article about sport “heroes” getting away with violence towards women. Narcs if not worse.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/writers/jeff_benedict/08/18/krod.stephenson/index.html?hpt=C2
“OxDrover says:
I think the psychopaths know that there is something that we get out of sex and relationships that THEY DON’T. (From the oxytocin, bonding hormone, that they can’t process) I think that is one reason they tend to jump from partner to partner sexually is that each time they jump they think “this one might be it.”
I think they sort of want a relationship, but never seem to really bond with “that” person and they move on to another one. They first start out maybe with hopes (some of them know they are conning from the start) but even with hopes, it never materializes, is never what they “really” wanted, so they start abusing because they feel that the partner/friend/lover is the one at FAULT for not meeting their expectations and they are angry and disappointed in not having their needs met.
So if having a “feeling” can be defined as any of the above, then I’d agree that they do have.. but otherwise, I’ve never seen any honest caring in any of them.”
Pretty much describes my experience. Funny too that over time, as I warmed to him, he became less interested in me. I will even go as far as to say that the moment he walked out on me in the restaurant, I was very much “his.”
Normal bonding occurs when people sleep together. Thus, by sleeping with him, I became more bonded, whereas such bonding does not occur with a sociopath.
This also explains the utter complete callousness and lack of empathy he showed by dumping me after spending a night with me as my “caretaker” in the hospital.
I always knew he had “intimacy issues.” That was pretty evident from the start. Little did I know and for future reference, I red flag not to be avoided.
BBE,
I’m not sure if there is any validity to my “theory” on this, it just is an OBSERVATION and of course “colored” by my own prejudices etc. but I think they DO somehow sense in an intimate relationship that we get “something” out of sex that they don’t. It is that complete feeling that we get from the oxytocin release that they don’t. Sure they enjoy sex (MOST OF THEM ANYWAY) but I think they sense somehow that we get “more.”
Of course they are so egocentric that they WANT whatever enjoyment they sense others might be getting. Especially if they aren’t enjoying it as “much.”
They are definitely greedy b#stards for sure! Whatever it is we have they want. What is theirs is theirs, and what is ours is theirs. LOL