Gov. Eliot Spitzer, a beacon of probity, has been caught allegedly hiring a prostitute. He has appeared on TV to apologise - see it here. And what an inadequate job he did. I was reminded of a previous apology he made in the New York Times last July for his administration's involvement in ordering the State Police to record the whereabouts of State Senate majority leader Joseph L. Bruno - read it here. In neither case does he even do the first thing that any apology worth anything should do - he does not state what he did. If you'd missed news broadcasts you'd have no idea what he was apologising for. According to Perfect Apology the key steps in any good apology are: 1. a detailed …
New Jersey’s bogus Internet Dating Safety law
The Internet Dating Safety Act became law in the state of New Jersey, the home of Lovefraud, on January 13, 2008. It is supposed to take effect next month. The law applies only to New Jersey, USA, residents. It mandates that any Internet dating site must disclose to New Jersey members, clearly and conspicuously, whether it conducts criminal background checks. "The disclosure shall be provided when an electronic mail message is sent or received by a New Jersey member, on the profile describing a member to a New Jersey member, and on the website pages of the Internet dating service used when a New Jersey member signs up," the law states. "A disclosure shall be in bold, capital letters in at …
It is not about gender, it is about sociopathy
I have spent the last 3 months very focused on finishing Women Who Love Psychopaths with Sandra L.Brown, M.A. this book is admitedly sexist in that it is for women who have had relationships with male sociopaths, psychopaths and pathological narcissists. The book has been tough for me to work on as I have had to relive many aspects of the short 17 months I spent with a sociopath. I am anxious to move on and produce a similar work for men, because I dislike the over emphasis on male sociopaths. I also have come to appreciate loving empathetic men, and believe we need to give these "real men" more recognition and visibility. Three events with the above theme have touched me recently. First, …
It’s not that the psychopath’s beliefs are awry (they are); it’s that his desires are too perverse and too uninhibited
I was recently reading a 2003 paper in the journal Nature called Forensic psychology: Violence viewed by psychopathic murderers which is both interesting and frustrating. Interesting because it demonstrates that, even amongst murderers, psychopathic murderers are different. Frustrating because the authors extrapolate their finding in a way that is ultimately misleading being so narrow as to completely miss the point. I pick this particular study only because it is rather typical of scientific studies in the field: 1. it neglects to consider what the psychopath gets out of behaving the way he does, and 2. it let's the psychopath off the hook. The study 13 psychopathic murderers, 17 …
Bad vibes from a workplace psychopath
Lovefraud recently received an e-mail from a reader. Her company had hired a new guy and she was tasked with helping him learn his job. The guy immediately made her feel extremely uncomfortable. Here's what she wrote: I can't look him in the eye or even stand to talk with him. He is very "nice" and has never shown any angry tendencies. I can't explain my feelings but my intuition tells me to be wary and afraid of him. He exhibits self-important behavior and is glib and overly polite. Just the thought of him makes me shudder. He's never given me any concrete reason to dislike him. However when I very first met him, he was too familiar and presumptuous, calling me by my nickname on the …
