How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW: Support group for destructive relationships

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By Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, located in Bernardsville, New Jersey Last summer I got a support group off the ground comprised of clients, all of whom had been in a relationship with a narcissist, sociopath, psychopath or combination thereof. The reason I began the group is because, first of all, there appears to be an epidemic out there of conscience-free people who are destroying the lives of their partners. Just in my practice there were enough clients to start a group. Now there are many others. “Nobody heals alone” The other reason is that I understand and believe in the power of support groups. I heard an interesting quote last year in a workshop: “Nobody heals alone”. This is based on fi …

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Traumatic Bonding: When You Love Your Abuser

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Last Memorial Day weekend, as I was picking out flowers for my mom and dad's graves, my dad kept coming to my mind:  What flowers would he like?........Red was always his favorite color, I'll get some red flowers......I should put a little American flag with his flowers, he would like that....... There were a lot of scary, unsettling times in my life with my parents, but one thing that stayed pretty consistent was the soft spot I had for my dad.  It sounds odd, because I was terrified of him. Letting your guard down was never an option.  The smallest thing would trigger a violent rampage.  Yet, I've always had an inexplicable fondness for my dad.  There were many times during my chil …

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The Sociopath as Coach, Part II

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Some sociopaths make the "best" coaches. At least, that's what everyone thinks at the time. So during the athletic banquet at the end of each season, people will often spend more time applauding this beloved individual than they do the young players on the team. Even if those players just broke six individual records. Parents will send "thank you" cards and gifts by the dozen to this coach. Particularly if he or she's also charming, humble, and from the same hometown. They'll talk constantly for weeks and even months about how happy they are that this particular coach came into their child's life. How this person changed everything. Built confidence. Gave a sense of accomplishment. …

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Florida sheriff’s officers accused of rigging child custody case

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The Lovefraud reader Anne Stevenson has written another article about corruption in the family court system. This time it's in Florida, where Broward Sheriff's Deputies David Benjamin and Jeff Alan Poole were charged with rigging a child custody case. Broward County Sheriff's deputies aiding Ponzi schemes, prostitutes and corruption, on Commdiginews.com …

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Political correctness and vulnerability to sociopaths

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Mark Cuban, tech entrepreneur, star of the TV show Shark Tank, and owner of the Dallas Mavericks pro basketball team, sparked a firestorm on Twitter last week when he admitted to being a bigot. The firestorm was based on the sound bite: I know I'm prejudiced. I know I'm bigoted, in a lot of different ways. If I see a black kid in a hoodie on the same side of the street, I'm probably going to walk to the other side of the street. Some of those who lambasted Cuban ignored the continuation of his statement: If I see a white guy with a shaved head and lots of tattoos, I'm going back to the other side of the street. If I see anybody that looks threatening, chances are there's part …

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The Sociopath and His Dog

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I'll start by saying that the "his" in my title comes from the fact that this story is about my sociopathic male ex. That being said, I'm sure many of you can think of women who fit this unique description of an "animal lover." So let's begin. My ex loves to tell people how much he loves dogs. He'll also say he loves horses and sheep and cows and chickens and all other sorts of farm and wild animals, but dogs are tops. And there's something really unique about the way a sociopath "loves" a vulnerable creature. It's confusing, wonderful, horrifying, and most often blindsiding. Sometimes, it's even used to shame others. Like me. You see, a couple years ago, I had a little Frenchie-bulldog …

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The “Functional Female Sociopath”…..Good For Society?

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According to various opinions, not all sociopaths are created equal. There are the "non-functional" sociopaths (i.e., serial killers) and "functional" sociopaths (i.e., successful sociopaths).  The functional female sociopath uses her lack of empathy to annihilate those pesky male counterparts (or, frankly, anyone who gets in the way), paving the way for woman-kind. Yay them!  Right?   I mean, why can't functional female sociopaths be on the same playing field as functional male sociopaths?  Well, they can be.  And they are.  The last time I checked, evil is still evil.  You can put a dress suit and lipstick on it, or you can put starched collars and neckties on it, sociopathy is still a b …

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: People will never understand I am married to a sociopath

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Editor's Note: This Letter to Lovefraud was submitted by reader whom we'll call “Juniper.” I have been married for 22 years and have five children. I realized the first year of our marriage that I had married a "psycho" but thought I could help him with my unconditional love and support. He is completely controlling, manipulative, abusive, selfish, and has never shown empathy or compassion to me or our children. He doesn't have relationships with his kids because he chooses not to bond with them. I stayed with him because I believed there must be some good somewhere in him, after all, he was a born again Christian, knew almost every verse in the Bible from memory and sometimes preached on …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Fluffing the pillow wrong

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Editor's Note: This Letter to Lovefraud was submitted by the reader who calls herself "Allergic to Spandex." Other names have been changed as well. By the time my sociopath husband "The Dope" (now, thankfully, my ex) developed testicular cancer, I knew that he was not a "consultant," but a marijuana dealer who didn't even make much money at it. He explained this as noble guerrilla warfare in the fight to legalize marijuana, a cause I still agree with despite him. He claimed that the people he sold pounds of pot to made sure that it got into the hands of medical patients. This was probably a lie too, but it's how he brainwashed me when I was 18. There's cheatin' goin' on I knew that …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My sociopath partner gave me HIV

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Editor's Note: This Letter to Lovefraud was submitted by a reader who calls himself "Fred." I bloomed late.  At age 53 I grew tired of a lonely and celibate life, I finally admitted to myself and others I was gay. It didn't take long to find my first boyfriend who was a super sweet, moral guy, like myself,  but after nine months it was apparent we weren't a match. Drawn to downtown guy Many months passed and I again was so lonely. I saw this guy at a downtown club. I'm not sure what the draw was. He was bald, slightly chunky but seemed to be the most beautiful guy I've ever seen. Funny now, because others tell me he's not attractive. I'll call him Adam. I tried to work up the courage …

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