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Archives for September 2018

You are here: Home / 2018 / Archives for September 2018
Spath Tales

I almost married a sociopath, and to this day I don’t know what his motives were

September 12, 2018 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  8 Comments

Editor's note: This story was written by the Lovefraud reader, "marinapearl." I almost married a sociopath. He seemed like my perfect match at first: kind, funny, generous, respectful. We had everything in common. We moved much more quickly than I would have thought possible for me, as I am usually very cautious, but this was unlike any relationship I’d ever had. We were “soulmates,” “meant to be.” Before long we were engaged. Everything was going well, except for when we would argue. Every time we had the slightest disagreement, he would have a meltdown. Nothing was ever his fault, and he always managed to make me feel bad for saying anything. I just thought he was really sensitive, bu …

I almost married a sociopath, and to this day I don’t know what his motives wereRead More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales

5 tips for dealing with a sociopath

September 10, 2018 //  by Donna Andersen//  1 Comment

Lovefraud's standard advice for interacting with a sociopath is not to interact at all, to implement a strict policy of No Contact. Unfortunately, this isn't always possible. Perhaps you share children with a sociopathic ex-partner. Or perhaps you have a disordered boss or co-worker, and aren't yet able to find new employment. Or perhaps some member of your family is disordered. If you have no choice but to interact with a problem person, here are some tips that may help you. Do not react emotionally. Sociopaths will often do or say unpleasant things just to provoke a reaction out of you. Do not take the bait. Remember, all sociopaths really want is to win. If they get an …

5 tips for dealing with a sociopathRead More

Category: Explaining the sociopath

letter to lovefraud

Attracting better partners by releasing unhealthy beliefs

September 8, 2018 //  by Donna Andersen//  1 Comment

Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Emilie": I won't go into the long, boring details of my 7+ year relationship with the sociopath that invaded my life. It's the same basic story as always and plus, I think there's some kind of email size limit. :) Ever since I ended the engagement over 3 years ago, and finally terminated the relationship itself another year after, I've made comments (in a lighthearted, self deprecating fashion) that, "if you're going to treat me like crap, then I'm the girl for you!" Yes, it gets chuckles from the people I'm around, but sadly it's true. I was watching a movie last night and was judging the characters on their level …

Attracting better partners by releasing unhealthy beliefsRead More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath

Trust after betrayal by the sociopath

September 6, 2018 //  by Donna Andersen//  11 Comments

For everyone here at Lovefraud, there came a time when we could no longer continue in denial. We were forced to admit that someone we trusted had betrayed us. We felt devastation, anger, humiliation, grief and every other negative emotion on a therapy checklist. We also berated ourselves for our naiveté, kicked ourselves for our gullibility, and castigated ourselves for trusting someone who shouldn't have been trusted. Overwhelmed by pain, we may have vowed that we would never trust again. Hold on. As human beings, we need to trust. Human society is built on trust. The key is to determine who is trustworthy, and who is not. Trust and human society I wrote previously about Paul …

Trust after betrayal by the sociopathRead More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath

10 typical emotional abuse tactics that the experts don’t even measure

September 3, 2018 //  by Donna Andersen//  1 Comment

No wonder mental health professionals don't seem to understand emotional abuse. In trying to conduct research about it, they don't even have a comprehensive list of typical emotionally abusive behaviors. Here are 10 behaviors that Lovefraud readers experience, time and time again, from their sociopathic partners. How many have you seen? You're blamed for everything; it's all your fault. Your partner flirts with others and cheats on you. Your partner disappears — you have no idea where he or she is, and when, or if, he or she will return. Your partner does or says something incredibly hurtful — and then acts like nothing happened. You get the silent treatment. Your par …

10 typical emotional abuse tactics that the experts don’t even measureRead More

Category: Explaining the sociopath, Scientific research

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