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Archives for 2025

You are here: Home / Archives for 2025

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He assured me he would never, could never hurt me like that again

June 20, 2025 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  68 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Bernice." Her new man assured her that he could never hurt her, but it was an empty assurance. I had been out of an 18-year marriage for a year when I met my lovefraud. My husband was a selfish man who enjoyed his pornography. At the beginning I tried to be the good wife, experience things with him. The pornography I just couldn't bring myself to enjoy. I explained to him that for me it was a major turn off, almost sickening some of it. All that accomplished was him watching alone. When the children came along we only grew further apart. Over the rest of the marriage he became more and more independent …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: He assured me he would never, could never hurt me like that againRead More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Seduced by a sociopath

10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath

June 16, 2025 //  by Donna Andersen//  2 Comments

Escaping sociopaths (or antisocials, narcissists, and psychopaths) can be tricky. Some disordered partners are violent, but even when they’re not, they’re typically skilled at controlling you through emotional or psychological intimidation, making it hard for you to leave. If sociopaths sense you are pulling away, they will either charm and love bomb you until you change your mind or lash out and make your situation worse. Therefore, your objective is to escape before your sociopathic partner realizes what you are doing.  10 crucial strategies for leaving Here are 10 crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath that will help you get away — and stay away. 1. Keep your mouth s …

10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopathRead More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath, Sociopaths and family

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: One-year anniversary of the SNAP that was my sanity speaking

June 15, 2025 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  63 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who uses the name "DamselflyNOTdistressed." She writes about her nervous breakdown that was her sanity speaking. OCTOBER 24, 2012 - That was the one-year anniversary of my breakup from a SPath and the "nervous breakdown" that followed. My body and life at that moment felt viscerally like the total collapse of everything I thought I knew about myself. It was undoubtedly one of the worst moments of my life. And I am grateful — it was my sanity speaking. It had only been five months, and what a grand rollercoaster ride! We were fellow bohemians, and we met as nude models in a grand tableau vivant performance by an e …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: One-year anniversary of the SNAP that was my sanity speakingRead More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Recovery from a sociopath, Seduced by a sociopath

Sociopaths prime you to ignore reports of their bad behavior

June 9, 2025 //  by Donna Andersen//  Leave a Comment

The sociopath’s greatest skill is probably impression management. They are excellent at presenting themselves in a positive light — even when they have a long history of abusive relationships, exploitation, unstable finances and even criminal convictions. One of their tricks is priming you in advance to ignore reports of their bad behavior. The most fundamental sociopathic strategy for preventing you from learning what they truly are — lying, cheating parasites — is to keep you away from anyone who knows their past. This is one reason why sociopaths typically move around a lot — when they’ve caused too many problems in one town, they relocate to a new town where nobody knows them o …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Letting go of monetary justice is releasing the ties that bind

June 8, 2025 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  80 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader whom we'll call "Filippa." She found relief by letting go of monetary justice — even though she was entitled to it. I've been reading Lovefraud for years. I've also been in a legal battle with the ex that has been clinically diagnosed as narcissist, OCD, paranoid that has a father of the same, with millions who loves to be in legal battles for sport, and whose motto is, "I'll show you how to screw over an ex-wife." Yesterday, seven years later, we finally went to trial. Yesterday, I figured it out — releasing all his obligations to me, means I free myself of him ever having any more control to man …

LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Letting go of monetary justice is releasing the ties that bindRead More

Category: Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales, Recovery from a sociopath, Sociopaths and family

Sociopathic relationship cycle

Sociopaths in long-distance relationships: 7 reasons why it’s hard to spot them

June 2, 2025 //  by Donna Andersen//  Leave a Comment

UPDATED FOR 2025. Today, if you’re looking for romance, you aren’t limited to searching your local community. With online dating apps, texting and video calls like Facetime and Zoom, you can meet and stay in contact with potential partners in distant cities, states and countries. It may seem like you have worldwide romantic possibilities — but you also need to be on the lookout for sociopaths in long-distance relationships. Quite frankly, long-distance relationships are dangerous. Sociopaths can be difficult to recognize when you’re around them every day. If you only see them in real life intermittently — well, they can run their scams and manipulations almost indefinitely and you will nev …

Sociopaths in long-distance relationships: 7 reasons why it’s hard to spot themRead More

Category: Seduced by a sociopath

Narcissists and hoarding disorder

June 1, 2025 //  by Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.ED, LBS, CCBP//  3 Comments

By Joanie Bentz, M.Ed., LBS, CCBP An A&E reality television series called Hoarders debuted in 2009 and is still popular today.  If you have viewed any of the episodes, you probably have a good idea of how hoarding disorder can escalate over time and become so severe that it causes environmental and health dangers, which impair the person from functioning and thriving normally.   Typically, on the show, concerned family and friends intervene and seek treatment for the hoarder, and most of the time, with intensive support, the hoarder agrees to address their disorder.  The home is cleared out, and the hoarder receives therapy to address the …

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Category: Explaining the sociopath

Asking the wrong question about coercive controllers

May 27, 2025 //  by Donna Andersen//  Leave a Comment

Coercive control is a pattern of assault, threats, humiliation, intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish or frighten the victim. Where does this behavior come from? A Lovefraud reader sent me an article by Dr. Emma Katz, who describes herself as a “globally respected expert in coercive control, domestic violence and domestic abuse.” I invite you to read the article: She didn’t “pick wrong.” Society failed by creating millions of abusive men. In her article, Katz says there are so many abusers in the world that “we need to stop blaming women for ‘ignoring red flags’ when men turn out to be controlling and abusive partners.” I listened to Katz speak on a few podcasts …

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Category: Uncategorized

Book Review: How to Do the Inner Work

May 25, 2025 //  by Donna Andersen//  Leave a Comment

How to Do the Inner Work: A guide to self-discovery, empowerment, and emotional healing, by Susanne Madsen Review by Donna Andersen The key to recovery from the sociopath is healing your heart. I’ve said this many times in my blog articles, videos and to my coaching clients. But how do you do it? A new book by Susanne Madsen, How to Do the Inner Work, is a clear, concise guidebook for exactly that. Sociopaths are evil. They create havoc in our lives. Their behavior is criminal, or it should be. And they often get away with their bad behavior with little to no consequences. We do our best to fight them, or at least save ourselves. In the end, we usually need to come to terms w …

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Category: Book reviews

Your split brain: Why you still love the abuser

May 19, 2025 //  by Donna Andersen//  Leave a Comment

Perhaps you’ve had the following experience: Your new beau showered you with so much attention and affection that you fell in love. Then, slowly or quickly, your partner became deceitful, mean, disparaging and maybe even violent. You were shocked, angry and heartbroken, so you distanced yourself. But after a while, your memory of the bad behavior faded, and you just thought of the good times. You still love the abuser and want to reunite.  How is this possible? When your romantic partner lies, cheats, betrays, exploits or abuses you, how can you ever forget that, and why would you return for more? The explanation is rooted in biology. Dr. Liane Leedom, a psychiatrist and professor …

Your split brain: Why you still love the abuserRead More

Category: Uncategorized

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Lovefraud Blog Recent Comments

  • sept4 on LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Letting go of monetary justice is releasing the ties that bind: “This is what I actually struggle with most now that I am a decade out of divorce. I did not…”
  • Donna Andersen on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “Good point! Thank you”
  • sept4 on 10 Crucial strategies for leaving the sociopath: “All very true and very good advice. I would like to add that too can always call police if you…”
  • eleanoreliza1234 on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws  : “What a beautifully composed response by Emilie 18! Reassuring to know that others have experienced the same. Thank you, Emilie.”
  • jhmb6 on Narcissists and hoarding disorder: “This article suggests that all narcissists are not simply narcissists. There always seems to be a co-occurring disorder. All evidence…”

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