If you have a sociopath in your life for any significant period of time, whether as a romantic partner, family member, friend or business associate, here’s what you need to understand: You will be damaged. These people are manipulators and exploiters, and their predatory behavior is intentional. Oh, they may say it’s not their fault. They may try to make you feel sorry for all the bad things that have happened to them in the past (which may or may not be true). Or they’ll blame others for anything that goes wrong. But make no mistake — these are simply tactics to achieve their objective, which is to use anyone and everyone who can provide something that they want. “A sociopath is …
Breaking the compulsion to “fix” and “help”
UPDATED FOR 2025. Lovefraud once received the following letter from a reader whom we'll call "Edna": I won't go into the long, boring details of my 7+ year relationship with the sociopath that invaded my life. It's the same basic story as always and plus, I think there's some kind of email size limit. :) Ever since I ended the engagement over 3 years ago, and finally terminated the relationship itself another year after, I've made comments (in a lighthearted, self deprecating fashion) that, "If you're going to treat me like crap, then I'm the girl for you!" Yes, it gets chuckles from the people I'm around, but sadly it's true. I was watching a movie and was judging the characters on their …
Codependence and tolerating bad behavior
Editor’s note: The Lovefraud author Eleanor Cowan wrote “A History of a Pedophile’s Wife.” She is now working on tales intended to shock codependent people into recognizing their behavior and connecting with support and guidance to overcome it. The collection is called, “Impactful Stories for Stubborn Codependents.” Here’s the first story. See Eleanor’s comments at the end. Graduation Day By Eleanor Cowan Kim reminded herself to sell or donate or otherwise dispose of her mother’s wheelchair, still lodged behind the porch door, but first she’d have to repair the rickety back steps of the doorway. She felt it. That heaviness, that cloudy confusion, a murkiness she quickl …
Pig butchering: The new criminal romance scam
“Pig butchering” has nothing to do with farm animals. Pig butchering is a sophisticated romance scam in which con artists meet people online, seduce them with promises of love and companionship, and then convince them to sink their hard-earned money into fake cryptocurrency investments, which soon disappear. What’s truly frightening is that these aren’t random sociopaths conning whomever they come across. It’s a massive criminal enterprise in which thousands of workers actively fleece targets all day, every day. Pig butchering scams net $64 billion a year worldwide, according to the U.S. Institute for Peace. Americans lost about $5 billion in 2024, which was a 42% increase over the …