I am not sure if I will continue to post each week. Many of the stories carry the same theme and I think most of you on this site know what a sociopath is capable of, how much destruction they leave in their path and how we all felt once we discovered the truth.
For me, it’s really about the road to recovery. The first and most helpful tool I was given was Martha Stout’s book The Sociopath Next Door. It helped so much to see it in writing, the same behaviors, manipulation and the different types of sociopaths. Lovefraud provides the best resource I have found to date (thank you Donna). Then it was all about acceptance. I needed to accept that my father never loved me. That one took a while, but I began to understand that “he couldn’t give me something he didn’t have”, which was love. Once I accepted this it was easy to forgive him, another key for me.
I have had other sociopaths in my life; in fact I think I was attracted to it as a result of being raised by one. Only now I recognize that uneasy feeling I get from being around someone I cannot trust. It’s like background noise, almost unnoticeable, but it’s there. Today I trust those feelings and do what I have learned from others and books. I cut my losses and move on. It has been my experience that the only option is to remove yourself from any and all unnecessary contact with a sociopath.
Someone once told me that the past is for inspiration, not limitation”¦and I believe that today. I started to focus on the things in life I was grateful for, not where I thought I was “cheated”. Experience in this life is the thing of supreme value if we are willing to learn from it and then use it to help others. It then becomes a gift. That’s how I see it today. As odd as it may sound I would not change my experience for anything. I wouldn’t want to do it again I assure you, but today I am grateful for it.
Oxy: A few months ago, one of OJ’s childhood friends admitted that he helped OJ hide assets and he publicly apologized to the Goldman’s … explaining he didn’t realize what he was doing??? Go figure?
I can see it now … the Goldman’s will probably put any money they collect in a foundation in Ron’s and Nicole’s memories … to help others … just sit back and watch what this family will and can do!
I’m sure it will be awesome … for any pain that comes our way … goodness in heart and spirit will triumph!
JanetF, welcome, read everything you can on here. There are some wonderful people here who are dealing with similar things. We are all victims of these people so listen to the words of others. I have gained so much from the people here, their kindness and love has truly helped me as it will help you.
JJ, a deer stand? You hunt? cool. :o) I will pop down to Florida and you and I can go “pig spanking”, I love wild boar.
Akitameg, the same Akitameg from Aftermath? If so, you know where my blog is now, LOL!! Feel free to check it out, though it really is delusional ramblings.
Wini and Ox, I owe you so much. Same with you Star.
As far as the OJ thing goes, I am laughing my head off about it. It is Karma at its finest.
BIGDUDE
Not only do I Hunt I have acess to a Hunting Camp on the Peace River in Hardee County! Have you ever done Google Earth !? If not Do it Down load the program and Google Hardee county and check out the Peace River! My Family has been Hunting here for years and It is awsome Property I love it down there ! My Uncle has offered me acess to his personal Trailer for sleeping and I have know those woods since I was 10! Deer the last one shot was an old 8 point I will send pics to your mySpace! Trukey , Hogs Squril! The Indigo snakes are not for hunting only for holding and admiring You would be in Heaven! LOVE JJ
OxD,
I just saw your post about the Trojan Horse P getting out on parole. Good lord, why does life have to be so unfair sometimes? How much would it cost you to put a tall barbed wire fence around your property? Or even a tall chain link fence with barbed wire on top? If he appears on your property is the prison liable for not calling you?
Maybe you could shoot him on the “Make My Day Law”. That would certainly fix the problem. Do you think the chances are high that your P son is still out for blood and wants to kill you? Do you think the Trojan Horse P would really take that risk again, after just getting out of prison? I’m looking for any kind of hope here.
OxD, Maybe Indi could place some venomous snakes strategically around your property. What d’ya say, Indi?
I already did!
and the deer stands are set up and Grandpas 10 gage is loaded for bear! :)~
Dear Star,
You don’t have to worry about the venomous snakes, they are here! I’ve killed 4 water moccosins in my yard this year and one copper head in the aircraft hangar, but that is much less than last year. I’ve got ferral and tame cats on the place that help keep down the mice which attract snakes, and I put out rat poison which helps too.
I think the SHOCK of finding out he was paroled “under the radar” without the PROMISED 30 DAY NOTICE from the parole board was what hit me between the eyes. I spent the day on the phone to the parole board and his parole officer WHO DID NOT KNOW HE WAS A SEX OFFENDER X 3 (ages 8, 11, and 14) and has violated EVERY time he was on parole. He WILL REOFFEND. She was very nice about it and I think she will follow up.
I am really not so worried about him trying to come here and kill us again, though that is not an impossibility of course, and yes, my P-son DOES want me dead. First to get money from inheritence and secondly for REVENGE against me. They do not like it when you “win one” once in a while.
But,, I have more than one ace up my sleeve and I will hit him again where it hurts, and at this point I don’t care if he finds out I did it or not. I have a copy of a letter he wrote to my mother mentioning “calls” to her. Texas prisons were shut down and locked down for months while a search for cell phones was made. One inmate ON DEATH ROW got a cell phone and called a state official to curse him out!@....... DUH! My son’s mentioning the “calls” is sure proof that h e knows where one is and has access to it—thanks to the money mom is sending him, so at least I am hoping they transfer him to BFE, change his status to maximum and monitor his mail better.
As far as the “make my day” law, Arkansas doesn’t have one, but we do have concealed carry permits for off the farm and I am ALWAYS armed on the farm, never out of arm’s reach of a weapon, and neither are my sons. I don’t live in terror any more, but I do live cautiously.
The TH-P knows that we are armed and that we carry concealed and I also know he is a coward as well, only a bully when he thinks he has the advantage, so we won’t let him have the advantage. We are beefing up electronic survelience Monday so that should give us ample warning, and as far as him being here on the farm, after what he did last year, there is a bull’s eye on his forehead NO PROBLEM because the only reason he would be here and break a NO CONTACT court order would be to harm us.
Ladies, I hate to say this but Indigo is almost worth turning gay for. I did say ALMOST though. LOL!!! Last buck I took was up in Idaho, mule deer, 4×5 western count (11 point eastern count) 28″ wide and the damn thing weighed 202 pounds with the insides out.
OxD, please be careful. I used to carry concealed for a while, it can be reassuring, but i have also had to take human lives in the past and I have had to carry that with me ever since. Just because I was in uniform at the time doesnt make it any easier. Please be careful. If you are ever in jeopardy then defend yourself, just know that you have that right.
BIDUDE :)~
ROLFLOL
Ok your not quite con-vinced YET!
I Drive a JEEP w/Character dents on all sides!
I COOK
I Clean
I do Laundry
I can Clean and butcher the Buck by my self!
I dont know how much more Con-Vincing you need Stud! LOVE JJ
BigD and Indi … BAMBI killers.
Big raspberries to both of you.