I am not sure if I will continue to post each week. Many of the stories carry the same theme and I think most of you on this site know what a sociopath is capable of, how much destruction they leave in their path and how we all felt once we discovered the truth.
For me, it’s really about the road to recovery. The first and most helpful tool I was given was Martha Stout’s book The Sociopath Next Door. It helped so much to see it in writing, the same behaviors, manipulation and the different types of sociopaths. Lovefraud provides the best resource I have found to date (thank you Donna). Then it was all about acceptance. I needed to accept that my father never loved me. That one took a while, but I began to understand that “he couldn’t give me something he didn’t have”, which was love. Once I accepted this it was easy to forgive him, another key for me.
I have had other sociopaths in my life; in fact I think I was attracted to it as a result of being raised by one. Only now I recognize that uneasy feeling I get from being around someone I cannot trust. It’s like background noise, almost unnoticeable, but it’s there. Today I trust those feelings and do what I have learned from others and books. I cut my losses and move on. It has been my experience that the only option is to remove yourself from any and all unnecessary contact with a sociopath.
Someone once told me that the past is for inspiration, not limitation”¦and I believe that today. I started to focus on the things in life I was grateful for, not where I thought I was “cheated”. Experience in this life is the thing of supreme value if we are willing to learn from it and then use it to help others. It then becomes a gift. That’s how I see it today. As odd as it may sound I would not change my experience for anything. I wouldn’t want to do it again I assure you, but today I am grateful for it.
Indigoblue
Wini You have never had Back strap Venison and when we eat it out in the wild it is like Mana ! :)~ LOVE JJ
akitameg
it is xmas and i miss who I thought he was soooo very much. Was with him the last two xmases. why didn’t I know it was a scam? I am feeling i will never get over this–
sorry to sound negative. do not want to bring anyone down
hens
akitameg – don’t worry about bringing anyone down – we are all up one day down the next. I understand how you feel and you will get through this. If you miss who YOU THOUGHT he was then think of who you want next in your life – think of the man you want to spend many xmas’s with. He is out there – so Happy Xmas and Merry Everything – it get’s better Meg and our life is not over – we are starting over with more knowledge of the fact these people exsist – and the next man in your life will be very real – and you will never have to doubt if he love’s you for real or not – because we wont go down this road ever again
Indigoblue
I might henry if he is Goodlooking enough and well swong! :)~
Stargazer
Indi and bigdude, you guys shoot Bambi??? 🙁 🙁 🙁 Well, there goes the neighborhood…….and with it, my two best dating prospects. 😉
Wini
akitameg: You too should read the site I’m listing below to understand the difference between us (givers) and them (takers):
http://www.abusefacts.com/articles/Givers-Takers.php
“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves”.
Matthew 10: 16
Peace.
Wini
StarG: Give it to them with both barrels … and I suppose they didn’t wear the hide or eat the meat either.
Peace.
Stargazer
I have my own special vegetarian skillet that I boink deer killers with. BOINK!!!
So Monday is the day the army lieutenant dude comes here to take a deposition and ask me questions. I can’t wait to tell the truth. I can’t wait to show him the pictures of my ex standing up holding a 75-lb snake. And I will say to the lieutenant, “So he’s saying he cannot walk and has no feeling from the waist down? Wow! It must have been a miracle that he found the strength momentarily to stand and hold that snake.” Oh I can’t wait. Bring it on! Even if the army dude doesn’t believe me, pictures don’t lie! TOWANDA!!! Sometimes, these psychopaths DO get their due karma.
Wini
StarG: When they depose you … breath a few deep breaths and get into a HUMBLE state of mind before you answer anything. Just be factual and don’t gloat …. just tell them FACTUAL TRUTH and that is it.
Good luck.
Peace.
Indigoblue
Star
you can feed your snakes poor defencless rats and ya dont eat meat? Know wonder your a little off balance:)~
To get enough value from vegies you have to be a Cow , regurge and rechew your cud , have a three chamber Stomach and eat constantly! Ever see a Probascus Monkey or Orang or Gorilla ! If we where ment to be vegatarians we would weigh in at 400lb on a lite day! :)~ LOVE JJ