I am not sure if I will continue to post each week. Many of the stories carry the same theme and I think most of you on this site know what a sociopath is capable of, how much destruction they leave in their path and how we all felt once we discovered the truth.
For me, it’s really about the road to recovery. The first and most helpful tool I was given was Martha Stout’s book The Sociopath Next Door. It helped so much to see it in writing, the same behaviors, manipulation and the different types of sociopaths. Lovefraud provides the best resource I have found to date (thank you Donna). Then it was all about acceptance. I needed to accept that my father never loved me. That one took a while, but I began to understand that “he couldn’t give me something he didn’t have”, which was love. Once I accepted this it was easy to forgive him, another key for me.
I have had other sociopaths in my life; in fact I think I was attracted to it as a result of being raised by one. Only now I recognize that uneasy feeling I get from being around someone I cannot trust. It’s like background noise, almost unnoticeable, but it’s there. Today I trust those feelings and do what I have learned from others and books. I cut my losses and move on. It has been my experience that the only option is to remove yourself from any and all unnecessary contact with a sociopath.
Someone once told me that the past is for inspiration, not limitation”¦and I believe that today. I started to focus on the things in life I was grateful for, not where I thought I was “cheated”. Experience in this life is the thing of supreme value if we are willing to learn from it and then use it to help others. It then becomes a gift. That’s how I see it today. As odd as it may sound I would not change my experience for anything. I wouldn’t want to do it again I assure you, but today I am grateful for it.
Elizabeth Conley
Yeah Quest,
I know some psychopath jokes. I’ve always been big on gallows humor:
One beautiful Sunday morning the tiny town of Smithvale wakes up and goes to church. Before the service starts most of the congregation have seated themselves. They’re all nattering to their neighbors when – shazam – Satan himself appears at the altar in flames.
Naturally, the townspeople erupt in chaos, with people fleeing the church, left, right and centre…except for Bill Scroggs. God’s ultimate nemesis seems confused. He walks up to Bill and says, “Don’t you know who I am?”.
Bill replies, “Aye, I do”.
Bewildered, Satan asks, “So, you aren’t afraid of me then?”.
“No I’m not.” replies Bill calmly.
By now, Satan’s melon is twisted beyond all recognition, “Why the hell not?” the dark Overlord inquires, to which Bill replies, “Because I’ve been married to your sister for 25 years.”
I bet most people can relate to that joke. After a couple really unpleasant relationships with ASPDed people, it suddenly becomes old hat. You encounter still another one, and you’re simply not impressed. You find yourself thinking. “OK, so you’re evil. Got anything else up your sleeve?”
Then there’s this one:
How Many Narcissists Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?
(a) Just one — but he has to wait for the whole world to revolve around him.
(b) None. He’d rather sit in the dark whining for a millenium than lift a finger.
(c) While no one has actually seen him change a lightbulb, he has suffered great tribulation for the cause. he’s single handedly changed every single lightbulb in the building at great personal expense, mental strain and severe risk to his fragile health. His herculean efforts on our behalf would go unheralded, if it weren’t for the staggering frequency at which he finds it absolutely necessary to humbly chronicle his heroism and the sacrifices he’s been obliged to make due to the callous negligence of others.
(d) Narcissists don’t change ______. _____ = “you name it” Period!
Elizabeth Conley
Do you know how to spot the Psychopathic Lemming?
He’s the noble one who explained to the rest of the lemmings why they should jump off the cliff, and he should sacrifice himself by remaining behind.
Ox Drover
Dear Quest,
You are right it does sometimes sound like a “dating service” LOL We all fight over who Henry is going to marry when he “goes straight!” LOL
The gallows humor is sometimes very appropriate I think though, because when you are in a “certain mood” it is about the only humor you can see. I think a LOVE FRAUD Store with TEE SHIRTS and bumper stickers would be great! Maybe Donna hadn’t thought of that. We could all wear the shirts and when someone asked us about them we could tell them where to go to find support!
I have a bumper sticker that says “My Border Collie is smarter than your honor student” and I have had lots of laughs over that one and gotten into some good conversations with people because they thought it was funny.
I had another one once when I lived in the Arkansas Delta that had an outline of the state of arkansas there and a HUGE MOSQUITO and the sign said “Arkansas State Bird” I had a guy try to BUY the thing from me he thought it was so funny (and so TRUE). LOL
We’re a pretty diverse and sharp group, so maybe we need to come up with some bumper stickers and some Tee shirt designs that we can use! I know abuse isn’t a funny subject, but sometimes “black humor” can get a conversation going that does lead to some positive awareness.
Wini
Hey Oxy … I was thinking that only those that blogged on LF would know what the T-shirt being yellow with lemons on it meant … it could be our way to recognize another blogger. If anyone should be curious to find out what the lemons printed on the shirt meant … it would depend on who was asking … not to be telling the enemy what we know! Hey, we could have a whole arsenal of outfits with the lemon logo.
Piece of lemon cake, piece of lemon pie.
Ox Drover
Wini, GREAT IDEA!!!!
Wini
Hey Oxy … I knew I would get you to agree with me on something. Hey, I threw a lot out there … I was getting to think you were like my Dad … always taking the complete opposite side to see if I could debate and stand up for what I was talking about … and of course, standing up for myself.
Ghhhhheeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzz. You parents.
Piece of lemon cake and lemon pie ala whatever. LOL.
stormee
I think we should suggest a new reality TV show…America’s Next Top Sociopath…All of our X’s could reside in a big,fancy mansion and compete for the title of #1 Psycho!!!
Ox Drover
Stormee,
I started off and had to erase my response—that just leaves too many “openings” for my gallows humor to blossom and bloom! So I think I will shut up on that. LOL ROTFLMAO
Wini
Stormee: Yeah … we could call the show “HOW TO BE A BRAT 1, 2, 3 … it’s ALL ABOUT ME”.
Piece of cake, piece of pie.
Indigoblue
I’m not the Psycopath My other wife is! :)~