I am not sure if I will continue to post each week. Many of the stories carry the same theme and I think most of you on this site know what a sociopath is capable of, how much destruction they leave in their path and how we all felt once we discovered the truth.
For me, it’s really about the road to recovery. The first and most helpful tool I was given was Martha Stout’s book The Sociopath Next Door. It helped so much to see it in writing, the same behaviors, manipulation and the different types of sociopaths. Lovefraud provides the best resource I have found to date (thank you Donna). Then it was all about acceptance. I needed to accept that my father never loved me. That one took a while, but I began to understand that “he couldn’t give me something he didn’t have”, which was love. Once I accepted this it was easy to forgive him, another key for me.
I have had other sociopaths in my life; in fact I think I was attracted to it as a result of being raised by one. Only now I recognize that uneasy feeling I get from being around someone I cannot trust. It’s like background noise, almost unnoticeable, but it’s there. Today I trust those feelings and do what I have learned from others and books. I cut my losses and move on. It has been my experience that the only option is to remove yourself from any and all unnecessary contact with a sociopath.
Someone once told me that the past is for inspiration, not limitation”¦and I believe that today. I started to focus on the things in life I was grateful for, not where I thought I was “cheated”. Experience in this life is the thing of supreme value if we are willing to learn from it and then use it to help others. It then becomes a gift. That’s how I see it today. As odd as it may sound I would not change my experience for anything. I wouldn’t want to do it again I assure you, but today I am grateful for it.
Wini,
I love that little rhyme you came up with…It’s like “you get what you get so don’t throw a fit”…
Maybe I’ll teach “1,2,3 it’s all about me!” to my preschool class during our next Circle Time! We can make it into a finger play /singalong with the auto harp!
Thanks…I’m always looking for fresh ideas for the classroom…. lol
Stormee: Don’t teach the kids that one … you can do something like … 1, 2 , 3 it’s your turn to make up a story about you and me … or something along that line. This way, they can get all excited about making up a story about the people in the group and who the rhyme stops with.
It let’s the little kiddles use their noddles … plus, the story they make up, belongs to them … and that builds their self esteem…. NICE stories!
Piece of cake, piece of pie.
HELP!!!! “Freedom from the Sociopath’s Destruction” is what I WANT but I found out today that the Trojan Horse Psychopath that was sent to “off” me by my P-son, and did try to kill my son C GOT OUT ON PAROLE TODAY. They were supposed to notify me 30 days in advance (unlike what they did last time to try to parole him to a half way house, which is illegal in Arkansas because he is a 3 X SEX OFFENDER –victims ages 8, 11, and 14)
I spoke to the parole board and am waiting for call backs from his parole officer and from the parole board head guy, but there is nothing I can do about his parole except go to the gov. and the media at this time, as he is ALREADY OUT before I got the e mail notice AFTER THE FACT, instead of the 30 days in advance I was supposed to get notified. I have still not been allowed to speak to the parole board, t hough I did write a letter detailing all his previous crimes and all the ones that he was pled out of.
I am about to PUKE RIGHT NOW, I dont’ know whether to vomit or cry. I even called and left a message o n my X-DIL’s cell phone that he was out, because he is likely after her now too since she emptied his bank account and signed over the truck to mom with her power of attorney. I’m not sure if he knows how to contact her or where she is, but I do think she at least should know he is OUT for her own safety. I don’t have any specifics where he is except the county which is not too close to us. I do know though he has been in contact with my P-son, and from a letter of my P-son that my son C snooped and found, we know that my P-son again has access to a cell phone–I am in the process of notifying the warden at the institution he is in right now so maybe he will at least be shipped to another institution where he won’t have access to a phone. Texas whole prison system was on lock down after an inmate ON DEATH ROW got a smuggled cel phone and called and cursed out a high up state official. They found 40 cell phones and hundreds of weapons in the shake down after that, but obviously they didn’t find the one my son had access to when he wrote mom that he would “call” her—since the ONLY WAY inmates can call is on a smuggled cell—and he got caught with one a couple of years ago—he again has access to one with the money my mom is sending him.
MERRY FREAKING CHRISTMAS! I think I will get a bare stick and decorate it with shot gun shells and call it a “carrtridge in a bare tree.”
OxD
Time to set up that 20ft Deer stand or a couple of them ! Get out Grandpas old 10 gage Double barrel Shot Gun and Loader up for Christmass Dinner! You have nothing to Fear! You have someone on your side who Does’nt need a gun or anything else! Calm down get that old Wisky you have been Saving and take a Snort! LOVE JJ
Dear Indie,
Well, forearmed in warned! To turn an old phrase backwards, and we are that, I have been praying as well. Still want to puke, frustrated at the “system” that is apparently SO INTENT on getting convicts out of prison EARLY. I just talked to his parole officer SHE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW HE WAS A SEX OFFENDER. I have a call in to the the parole board, the parole board victim advocate said they would get back to me this afternoon, my son will be calling his friend who is an assistant state attorney general in the capitol after I hear or don’t hear from these people. The trojan horse psychopath only got out of prison TODAY so isn’t likely to show up here TODAY as he has no money and no wheels, but he IS OUT, is all I know.
I even called his XGF, my XDIL and warned her he was out. He isn’t likely to be able to find her but I thought at least she should know.
My son C went over to warn my mother that he was out, and she admitted that she is sending money to my P-son, and has “forgiven” him….PUKE! I am sending the letter he wrote to her talking about the “calls” Maybe at least they will transfer him to another prison. I know he won’t talk and give up his connections so maybe they can transfer him to another prison to at least get him away from that connection.
After today my son C is going NC 100% with my mother, who has devalued and discarded us in favor of a psychopathic murderer, my P-son. Makes me feel so special.
OxDrover – I have also experienced an institutions lack of control regarding inmates and it is very unnerving to say the least. My father was sending out money to uknown sources and sending out documents reagrding some trouble I got in as a young adult to people and associates I was doing business with. He sent me threatening letters that included my daughters picture. This combined with the money he was sending out scared me. I did eventually get some help from prison officials and my father now has access to less money per month, but the lack of control is frightening.
One of his tricks from Death Row (he once told me) was to get something (like shoes) from the outside sent to an inmate on the inside (not on death row) to show he could “make things happen” then request favors for stuff he could not do on the row.
Sometimes prayer was all I had to rely upon for protection, but I believe it works. The most recited prayer in the world today includes the phase “protect me from evil”. I say it and believe it. I have used this in connection with other sociopaths and have had “unusual circumstances” prevent that person from coming around me. Take what you will from that, it happens. God Bless and Peace.
I have been praying and it helps some but my mind slips back into the past in which the sociopath in my life seemed to be a decent human being.
He told me once that he has taken homeless men off the street and has taken them into his home but since he got custody of two of his daughters he had to stop that. He said he was a preacher previously and a humanitarian.
Now that he knows that I have exposed him for the animal that he is, I am a threat to him. I have lost some family members on the count of him. They won’t call me or accept my calls because of the lies that this man has told.
At one point he had me questioning myself. I wondered if I was crazy or the malicious person he described. At one point I believe was because I wanted to avenge the hurt he caused me so I wanted to cause hurt to him. Of course it didn’t work. That only proved the theory he told others about me and pushed people away further.
These same people don’t care that this man and I have had a child in which he takes no interest in even seeing.
Dear Travis, Thank you so much, I know you know what I am going through. Though I do sit here right now with my gun snugly iin the small of my back in a holster, I am not TERRIFIED like I was before, but I still feel like I am literally WEAK.
The closest thing I can relate it to in feelings is that horrible empty feeling you get after you return home from the hospital after the death of a loved one. It is only the family there, and there are no plans made, not time for it to sink in, just that feeling of UNreality. Just NUMBNESS through and through.
My son had a real contraband ring going inside prison and Texas just found a cell phone on death row, and locked th eplace down and found 39 more cell phones, but you know, they didn’t get them ALL and apparently my son (from the letter he wrote my mother) has access to one again, and since it was AFTER the lock down was over, it is obviously one that wasn’t found. He his his previous one inside an electric shaver for years. The Capt. told me “he’s an electronic genius isn’t he?” and HE IS so I bet he hid it for another inmate in exchange for periodic use of it.
My mother is funneling him money (without that he would have no access to funds as he has no friends outside except x convicts). And an inmate who has funds is King of the Hill inside prison. He can grant favors for others and that means he has power. My son is also able to lie like a dog and convince others to do his bidding. The murder is the only crime he first handed committed as an adult, all the rest of them he persuaded others to do the robberies for him while he stayed on the side lines and collected the loot. He is good at persuading others to commit crimes. That’s what he did with the Trojan HOrse psychopath for a promise I am sure of the proceeds of his inheritence. Of course, revenge would be almost as good and as much a “success” for him as well, and he sure does like revenge for any “damages” done to him by someone protecting themselves from him.
I’m contacting the warden again, and sending him a letter and a copy of the letter my son wrote to my mom mentioning the “calls” and at this time, so what if he finds out I did it, he isn’t my “friend” anyway, so it won’t make him any more apt to have me killed than is the case anyway.
Janetf, BE GLAD and THANK GOD he doesn’t want to see your child, that is a blessing from God that he takes no interest in your baby. I am sure inthebreach would trade places with you, she is having to fight like heck to keep her P from getting custody of her son (not even his son). So sometimes the things they do to us are in a back handed way, the best things that they could do for us.
I’m just having to summon all my strength right now, to keep plodding forward after feeling like I have been “sucker punched” today by them letting him out “under the radar.”
At least his parole officer was seemingly glad to know he was a 3X sex offender—she didn’t even know that apparently!
Thank you all for your prayers, I need them right now very much. Hugs to you all.
Janetf
Welcome ! I am not the firstphase Greetor but I will do my best!
First Read as much as you can stomach!
Please Google Aftermath; Surviving Psycopathy Read
Pray because you have been Blessed! To finialy SEE the TRUTH!
You are amongnst FRIENDS here we all have the same story! just different letters in a row with different names and different places!
You will recover and HEAL and I know it may not seem like it now but his uninvolvement is Truely a BLESSING you will remeber this later!
Welcome We are all Happy You are here We Are ALL sad that You are a member LOVE JJ
OxD, You had me at “My Border Collie Could Eat Your Honor Student”. lololol I’ve been trying to get this bumper sticker made for a while now: “My Boa Could Eat Your Honor Student”.
Sorry to rehijack the thread. And it had just gotten back on track and all…..LOL