Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “Mario.”
My wife peed in my drinking water then turned down the lights and then laughed after I drank one gulp.
She spent the night with a lesbian lover the night my grandmother died.
She told me she didn’t care that our 1 year old daughter was falling off the bed 3 feet to a concrete floor, raised a fist to punch my 15 year old daughter in the face 3 times, punched me in the back of the head multiple times, pinched her fingertips together to cut my face to shreds while I was holding my computer trying to load the car to leave, threw car keys, plates, ceramic mugs, and punches at me while I was holding our 9 month old, stolen/taken/hidden my Adderall medication multiple times – and lied on court documents in order to get a restraining order to keep my daughter from me after stealing all of our money from checking and savings, having my phone canceled, and moving all of my belongings outside to move her mother in.
She’s a nurse and she’s routinely stolen drugs, admitted to tormenting patients who angered her, threatened to give our daughter away to strangers to hurt me.
She consistently will talk without end about her own mother being a manipulating horrible woman with mental disorders but in the end emulates her in every way but with explosive rage added on – during which times she completely destroyed two 55 inch flat screen TVs, one chess set purchased by my kids for me for my birthday years before, shattered a collectors edition Superman ceramic bank from the 70s, 2 mountain bikes – one of which was irreplaceable, the table and chairs my deceased grandmother left me, 2 keyboards, and a drafting table.
She has described multiple moments of explosive rage she’s had since she was 9 years old and threw a large glass paperweight at her father’s head.
She’s told me in rare moments of honesty that not only does she never feel a sense of compassion of pity for me when I’m hurt or needed to feel close to her – she told me she feels irritated and repulsed anytime I get sick because it comes across as weak to her.
She told everyone when I confessed to struggling with pornography and after humiliating me with it in front of her entire family asked me to take her to a strip club a few months later where she bought a lap dance from a woman while checking with me and grabbing my crotch every 5 minutes to “make sure I wasn’t aroused.”
Her own therapist told her she believes she has serious issues as a result of her generational abuse and manipulation patterns that have created a deep seated hatred and rage in her that some people would refer to as being “possessed” due to the intense rage, lack of remorse, and hate with which she acts.
She once asked me to get her coupons from the car while she was checking out at the cashier, when I gave them to get and told her I needed to go to the bathroom only a few minutes passed until she stormed into the men’s room where I was using the bathroom, banged on the stall door and screamed at me for not bringing her all of the coupons she wanted – some were in the middle section and I didn’t see them.
There’s more and she’s unbelievable at faking who she is.
She’s also completely insane to the point that she told me once when I make her mad she has actually said a prayer to Satan asking him to put a man in her path that day for her to “f*ck” in order to hurt me.
Mario,
I have read this several times today. Each time my only thought is LEAVE HER. I know you have kids. This compounds the situation, exponentially. I am VERY sorry that you, and the kids, are living with this level of abuse. It is terribly terribly sad. I have no real experience with this level of entanglement, confusion, and struggle as I did not have children or share property or business with the disordered person I got caught up with. I was able to walk away and start refocusing my life. I am sure it would not be so easy for you. This is heartbreaking. I want you and your children to be free.
I hope you find your way to some relief, and safety…for all of you.
Slim
Mario, I don’t know how old your younger children are. It sounds like you have a daughter from a previous marriage who is suffering the same abuse you are.
I lived this type of relationship (though not with an older child from a previous marriage). It is bad, and I urge you to get out. Slimone is correct that having children complicates things, because custody is not assured, and you can only “protect” your children when you are there with them.
I left my abusive relationship when the kids were 2 and 4, and they are now young adults and I do not regret for a single day that I left. It was very hard to leave. But this type of abuse can be DEADLY. I cannot emphasize that enough. No one can predict the future perfectly, but all the signs are there, that one day she loses it so totally that you or one or more of your children is irrevocably harmed by this.
I urge you to look hard into how to safely leave an abusive spouse, including protecting yourself financially and legally. if it takes a little time to document this abuse, then do so.
Protect your health, for your sake and for the sake of your children. None of you deserves this, and you will not escape unscathed if you leave now (there is psychological and spiritual harm being done to you and the kids now), but if you don’t leave, it will be much worse, I do think. And you can heal.
God bless.
Anger is not psychopathy. Psychopaths use anger to subdue their targets, it is not genuine anger. Real anger is a fight or flight response to danger. Perhaps a porn addict around children needs to be subdued.
We can feel genuinely angered when confronted with injustice of any kind. Anger need not be triggered by just a “flight or fright” scenario.
Mario. Wow. That is some piece o work. I hope that she is never my nurse. Thank you very much. Just a heads up to you. This is a site that has lots of wisdom and experience in dealing with PEOPLE that exhibit sociopathic tendencies, traits, charactarists or whatever descriptor that you feel comfortable with. Donna’s work here at Lovefraud is educating and supporting those PEOPLE who have encountered the bizarre personality disordered PEOPLE. While most of these Narcississtic, Borderline, Socio, or Psycho-pathic PEOPLE are male in gender, there are plenty of females who have some version of this character disturbance. Sadly these PEOPLE can be found everywhere. Be careful. Educate yourself, and practice grey rock technique while doing so. Try to rise above the storm and protect your girls if you can.
Mario, you end with a sentence about her making a prayer to Satan to send her a man to hurt you with….
I think that’s just about where you should end it.
Horrible story!
Keep strong and believe in your own sanity Mario!
My psychopathic “wife” gave me a daughter only to kidnap her far away from me, leaving her own (then) 16 year old daughter alone here in a new country for me to look after best I can, and after she had managed to steal all our (my) savings and put them into building herself her own palace in Brasil; she just left, continued to lie and create sobbing stories on why she needs more money all the time, until I finally got it straight in the face from a friend that; you´ve been had…
Then she started to rave at me (on web-cam when I wanted to see my daughter), that I am a worthless, no-good, asshole, who never stood up as a “man”, and so on.
I have been fighting a legal case about the kidnapping of my daughter now for almost 1,5 years, and since Brasil has signed the Hague agreement about kidnapping children; things are finally starting to look a lil bit brighter for us (me, my daughter and my teenage stepdaugher), but it has sure been a long suffering, and it is not yet over, but at least I can see some light now, finally, since the court said that is looks like a clear case of obduction.
All the best to you Mario, and never give up the fight!
Remember: “it´s only castles burning, just find someone who´s turning, and you will come around” (Neil Young))…