Dad battles sociopathic wife in divorce court

Lovefraud received this story from a reader whom we’ll call Gary22, who is battling his sociopathic wife in divorce court.

One month short of being married for 10 years and together for 15 years, my estranged wife filed the divorce with children paperwork. Where I live, having 3 children under the age of 12 and being male basically means I’d better just get a second job to cover child support, possibly spousal support, and hope I have enough money left to rent a place.

I know, I know, sounds like I’m just over exaggerating but I can give you names of former couples that are testaments of this one-sided court system.

Troubles many years ago

I will add since I own my mistake and don’t try to hide it, 20 years ago, when I was 17, I did attempt suicide. I have no issues discussing it with anyone before they pass judgment on me for it.

Yes, I was medicated and received the help I needed for years till the specialist I talked with almost every week saw no reason that I needed to continue counseling. That couldn’t have come at a worse time. I’m 37, was troubled 20 years ago and started dating my ex 17 years ago.

During my time of fixing myself, I never went on a single date because I wanted to ensure I was complete and didn’t risk falling part again.

Blind to red flags

My ex and I did work at the same place and after she dumped her boyfriend so she could date me, things seemed too good to be true, but man was I wrong. She was doing everything that I know today as the big red flags of a sociopath, but I was blind to them because she knew what my vulnerability was and bombarded me with it.

Now I did try to end the relationship a couple of times because my friends knew what she was. But every time I tried to leave, she pulled the victim card out and turned the tables on me, reeling me back in.

Don’t ever feel ashamed, embarrassed, stupid if you fall have fallen for tricks of a sociopath, we’re the victims not them. They manipulated us for their benefit, let them go around trying to tell everyone it’s someone else’s doing instead of their own because I don’t know about you, but I’m made of rubber and they’re made of glue, so whatever they say bounces off me and sticks on them.

Spell is broken

I’ll tell you one thing, once her spell was broken, I felt reborn. I’m not going to bore you very rocky marriage part, the kids, my sacrifices to keep her “happy.” We will save it for the sequel so I can quickly cover this ongoing divorce.

Read more: How to leave or divorce a sociopath

I know now about how sociopaths play the victim card, they project onto the other person, they spin tales every which way they can.

The court case

Oh how I love where I live when it comes to the sociopathic wife in divorce court, a court of law where facts are replaced with accusations without merit or proof. I never thought it was this bad inside our court system or maybe I just didn’t want to believe it, but after seeing what went on and what was said inside that courtroom I started feeling like I was under the spell of a sociopath again.

I kind of hope some of you reading this are wondering about the Guardian Ad Litem assigned to the kids. I can’t go into much detail about because my comment and complaint letter are currently under a court seal until the judge investigates it. I can say this — since I left it (I didn’t feel like paying for the copy of court record to have on hand) the GAL did not know my ex and our kids moved 3 months earlier and she never notified the courts, GAL, child enforcement agency, the kids’ school.

I didn’t know where my kids were living until I fired my attorney and put 8 counts of contempt of court down on the table. I may or may not have crossed all the T’s and dotted all the I’s correctly to charge her with those counts, simply because I did not want to be the one that causes the mother of my children to be placed in jail when I know jail isn’t the help she needs.

They say I’m a danger

If you’re wondering, my ex used my suicide attempt from 20 years ago and spun it so much you couldn’t see past it and now I’m still under court order to only see my kids in a very public setting or in an observation room. I’ve never harmed or placed my kids in harm’s way. Yet part of trial evidence were 13 emails I sent the GAL detailing my supervised time with my kids, detailing how my ex wasn’t using car seats for our 4 and 6 year olds, and a few times she let our 6 year old sit in the front seat and drove home and the one time she left 2 minors alone in a house and was a block or more away, but I’m a danger to my children.

All my life kids have flocked around me. I’m a great teacher. I used to the baseball coach all the kids wanted to play for.

Learn more: How to choose the right attorney when you’re divorcing a disordered spouse

I wear rings on multiple fingers, leather bracelets, motorcycles, beard, most of the time my looks alone deter people from approaching me because that’s the wall I built up, but kids don’t see the walls adults put up. They see the people they’re comfortable around who treat them as the individuals they are.

Hold your head high

Lastly if you are learning that you’re with a sociopath, please remember it won’t be easy, but I still walk with my head held high and you will too. Call a friend, family member — it’s amazing the amount of support you have that’s just waiting for you when you are dealing a sociopathic wife in divorce court.