Editor’s note: Lovefraud recently received this email in response to a previous article written by a self-proclaimed sociopath.
I’ve read the article titled A sociopath claims, ”˜We are the uniquely gifted,’ and most of replies to it.
First of all I’d like to make clear that the author of that letter is narcisisstic and quite delusional as he thinks himself some kind of superhuman. But apart from that, most of the things he said are true.
Wouldn’t you use the so called ‘gift’ of manipulation if it ensured you got what you wanted if the goal was otherwise unattainable? After all, it is you who let us manipulate you.
From replies you can clearly see that people are afraid and that’s the first sign of weakness a sociopath would spot. And I must say I’m disgusted by comments such as this: “I say put ’em all together on a tiny little island and they can lie as intelligently as they please and prove how gifted they are to EACH OTHER!!!” Is this what I’m supposed to show pity to?In reply to the comment I say that most sociopaths are clever enough not to try it on each other. Even if we do, it’s more of a game than anything else.
Second of all, saying that we can’t feel love is a shameless lie. We are capable of loving, only it’s in our nature to be suspicious, so it takes time to form a real relationship. Only because you haven’t proven to be worthy of it, doesn’t mean someone else won’t. Claiming that we’re uncapable of being in a relationship or being parents is offensive.
And making a group that demonises us doesn’t exactly give us a reason to ignore our abilities so you could lead happier lives.
Other than that I believe that the idea of us being ruthless, merciless and such, unfortunately comes from our own circles, as some individuals, such as the man who wrote the article, can’t help but brag about his ‘gifts.’ Highly functioning sociopaths won’t let you know what they are, nor will you be able to recognize them in a crowd.
I don’t understand why you put criminals, killers and lunatics as an example of a sociopath and psychopath as most of us are intelligent enough not to ruin our own lives by 1st exposing ourselves and 2nd engaging in a criminal activity. Most of those criminals have far worse diagnosis than sociopathy and psychopathy to go along with these.
And lastly, why should we change? I always looked down on people my age, and as a result I used to read 5 books a week from when I was 10. I still read a lot and am working on improving myself as well as my ‘abilities’ as I admit I have no respect for today’s society in which you’re judged as a freak as soon as anyone realizes you’re too intelligent to watch ‘Big brother’ like the rest of the ‘normal’ crowd.
I love it when these deranged creatures attempt to justify their behavior. And it’s clear the writer is a spath when he asks “wouldn’t you use the gift of manipulation to get what would otherwise be unattainable”. No Mr. Spath, we with a conscience would weigh the ramifications of such behavior in relation to its affects on other people and our moral compass would guide us to do the right thing. This is the difference between you and I my friend.
I’m definitely not their biggest fan (obviously, as I’m on this site), but I wouldn’t go so far as to call them deranged creatures. Last I checked, they’re people too…
i am pretty sure theyre NOT human. not. at. all.
Agreed “ain’t”. Physically they resemble humans but as “lifeisgood” points out, a *conscience* separates them from anything even remotely human.
Since realizing the creature in my life was socio, I don’t use pronouns besides “it” to describe it.
Agreed. They LOOK human, but they are monsters without conscience. Period.
“doesn’t exactly give us a reason to ignore our abilities so you could lead happier lives.”
WTF? Seriously?
They call lying/manipulating/stealing/destroying lives/emotionally scarring people/making others feel at blame for things they didn’t do/using kids to hurt another parent/cheating/physical abuse/ectect… they call that an ability??? That is not an ability as anyone on this planet could do any of that if they so chose too. That is nothing more than them yet again justifying things they do in their minds so they don’t feel wrong, to them this is now not wrong what they do cause its an “ability”
“somebody worthy of our love”
LOL, these people don’t deserve to breathe the same air as us.
Well done, Dave. Sociopaths are inhuman the way I see it. I would also question the statement ‘it is you who let us manipulate you’ as a normal person wouldn’t allow manipulation obviously. We are manipulated because we’re unaware of the evil motives of sociopaths and able to trust normal people. How are we supposed to know you’re not normal? As for putting them on a small island together. That isn’t to pity us it’s so that you can all play your evil games with people who won’t be harmed by you fakes.
I know super intelligent people who read 5+ books a week and don’t watch junk on TV, who are NOT psychopaths. One can be very intelligent and also have a conscience. Although many ‘successful’ (don’t get caught) psychopaths are intelligent, the one I encountered was not particularly intelligent, which, along with the grace of God and the resources I have been blessed with, enabled me to get free with relatively less financial loss and personal damage than those who are victimized by very clever P’s. However, the motivation is the same, and he would have taken from me and done whatever he could get away with, just like any other psychopath.
also, after all that reading, shouldn’t you know the word is not ‘uncapable’ – the correct word is ‘INCAPABLE.’ Keep reading and keep out of mischief.
Here’s how I look at it…..
People who lack conscience simply don’t understand what conscience means. They don’t relate to the fact that it’s conscience that gives us “humanity,” and without it we are beast-like. While a lion is cunning and strong, they can kill their young if the need arises, without the least bit of remorse. Sociopaths are as superior in the animal kingdom as other beasts of prey. Mankind is considered a higher life form due to our humanity.
Sociopaths don’t perceive their ability to harm you or turn you into their “prey” as the result of a defect in their character. The “stop” button we know as conscience is missing. Without that “stop” button, the only modifier for their behavior is “what’s in it for me,” and “how can I avoid getting caught?”
If you have a conscience, you can recognize lack of a stop button in others as a flaw. But if you don’t have a conscience, you don’t get it.
Joyce
So well said Joyce – so thankful for the clarity on this site after all the years of living with smoke and mirrors created by the Me Monster.
jm_short, Bravo!!!You certainly nailed the explanation of having no conscience. It is what gives us humanity:) So glad that I have the “stop button”.
me too!
This article contains some interesting research that seems to indicate that the sociopath’s lack of caring about others feelings and lack of conscience is to some extent a choice.
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/263964.php
Lack of conscience may be a choice but how much is determined by genes and how much by environment…that is the question. I feel that our modern society is fostering the spread of the psychotic personality when our moral foundation is quickly becomming a foundation built on pure selfish materialism. We no longer venerate and applaud morality but seek personl elevation built on the mighty dollar and the acutrements it brings.It’s more what we wear, the cars we drive, the homes we live in that drives our current society. How many people in politics, business, the legal profession etc. truly cares about conscience? What does conscience bring except peace of mind to the owner?
this was all very interesting, Thank you for posting it. I like the way he describes how the more clever spaths won’t show their hand. It validated my experience. Although the spath in the article just did, does that make him more the fool instead of clever? LOL
Of course all I keep thinking is that the spath just wanted to play with us and have a reaction from us. Its what they do.
His grandiosity doesn’t allow him to see he’s a fool. I know one thing; he’s fooling nobody here.
Is this what I’m supposed to show pity to?
This person’s grammar is atrocious. It makes it very difficult to believe he is a superior being.
It also seems apparent that this person believes empathy is the same thing as pity. He either has no frame of reference because he’s incapable of feeling those two emotions, or he’s not as smart as he thinks he is. Perhaps both apply.
To the spath author: The author asks why should psychopaths change?
Because in order to have a well-functioning society where those with more ability, more resources, and more just pure luck care in socially responsible ways for the needs of those with less ability, those who are sick, or injured, or old, or otherwise in need, society needs members who have normal human empathy, compassion, and altruism. Social systems depend on group trust, and group cooperation. Machiaveillian behaviors: narcissism, lack of empathy, ruthlessness, lying, manipulating, stealing, murder, and exploitative behaviors wreck the system.
If *everyone* behaved as psychopaths behave: totally self-centered, willing to do anything, including lie, cheat, steal from others or even murder others in order to gratify their own self-interest, then our society would fall apart overnight.
If doctors and surgeons routinely cheated and lied and bribed their way through medical school, would you want one of them operating on you?
If firemen only responded to alarm calls if you bribed or blackmailed them into doing so, then how could you trust them to actually save your home or put themselves in danger to carry your child out of a burning building? Why should they? They could simply show up, knock you out, claim that you burned up in the fire and take all your valuables.
If everyone thought and felt and operated the way psychopaths / sociopaths do, it would be like our society was somehow slammed back in time into a warring tribal era. Or like those post-apocolyptic movies. Life would be incredibly wretched.
Psychopaths wish to live in a well-functioning, rational, compassionate social system as much as any non-spath does, so you can either contribute to the system or you can wreck the system for everyone, including yourself. You idiot.
“Wouldn’t you use the so called ’gift’ of manipulation if it ensured you got what you wanted if the goal was otherwise unattainable?”
Manipulation is not a gift. It is a tool of deceit which uses subterfuge to gain advantage and surreptitiously abuse other people who are trusting and therefore trustworthy.
Trustworthy people do not need or want to stoop to such depravity as using tools of deceit to hurt others.
People who refrain from callously hurting others recognize that they don’t hurt another so much as they hurt themselves when they act as opportunistic predators who fly under the radar and take advantage of those who are trusting and trustworthy.
Also, using manipulation as a tool to “get what you want that is otherwise unattainable” is not something a normal empathetic person would do, no.
If something is “unattainable” then work for it like a normal person would. Deceiving people to get what you want is flat out fraud and it’s only your disordered thinking that gives you unchecked license to abuse other people and think its ok.
You’re a kook.
Here’s a thought. Just stop doing anything. Leave others alone and stop trying to schmooze your way to whatever pinnacle you think you deserve.
If you’re so clever, work for the good things in life rather than preying on others like a flipping kook.
The fact that this person has to even ask about the benefits of being honest with others means to me he has “missed the human boat.” With my spath, and with others I have known, friendships are nonexistent. A friend is someone they can use and abuse to take care of their selfish needs. They have never had a reciprocal, loving relationship.
Obviously, the sociopaths do not care if they have friends. Mine has none. The man is 54 years old and even his two grown daughters will not communicate with him, unless they absolutely have to do so. Of course, he rationalizes all of this so that he will not have to suffer. The real irony of this is that he has done it to himself.
hinahina – you nailed it! This line made me chuckle – “Also, using manipulation as a tool to “get what you want that is otherwise unattainable” is not something a normal empathetic person would do, no.” Not long ago my ex bragged repeatedly about his ‘female friend’ buying a new Harley and parking it in his yard. He said she told him that he could use it ‘anytime he wanted to’. LOL He really thought that it would bother me and kept bringing it up to try to rub it in my face. I told him that he is the only person I know who would be so PROUD to use someone else’s bike like it’s his own, rather than BUYING HIS OWN. I was like ‘why are you bragging??? It’s actually pretty sad.’. It was so pathetic…like most of his behaviour. lol