Editor’s note: Andrew J. Harper, who conned multiple women in Australia, was sentenced yesterday to nine months in jail. Here’s what we hear from one of his victims, Rochelle Fisher.
“Rebecca Bell was there, she said the magistrate gave him an absolute drilling, and was not falling for any of his crap. She said the fact that the victims had children made him very angry.
“Also, his lawyer said that he didn’t get any financial gain from his victims, that they were along for the ride and enjoyed it, like staying in hotels etc. And the magistrate said ‘Yes, but, they would not have paid it if he had told the truth.’
“He has been ordered to pay back 22k to victims and hotels, but there is nothing to enforce that order, so he won’t pay it.”
With Harper going back to jail, the women feel vindicated. Still, it’s difficult for them to explain to friends and family how they got into the situation to begin with. Rochelle, who posts on Lovefraud as “Rozzieoz,” wrote the following piece in an attempt to describe the sensation of almost drowning with the con man.
The Beach Where He Said He Would Love Me Forever
By Rochelle Fisher
“Step onto my beach,” he said.
“Your beach?” I asked, in amazement.
“Yes, my beach, I own it. It is all mine but you can share it.”
“Why me?” I asked, “Why am I so special?”
“Because I have been alone for a long, long time and there is nobody else like you,” he answered, as he took my hand and pulled me roughly onto the sand of his beach.
I looked around for other bathers, but we were totally alone. The waves crashed in the distance, seeming to move ominously closer. I decided to ignore the waves and looked at him instead.
“We don’t need anybody else, it will be just you, and me, forever,” he said as he gazed deeply into my eyes, and I chose to believe him.
We walked along the beach, moving further and further away from civilization, closer and closer to the water.
“We don’t need anybody else, it will be just you, and me, forever,” he said, as he pulled me into the shallow water.
I felt nervous.
“I am not sure if I can swim with you.”
I wanted to dive into the water with him and swim forever.
“Yes you can,” he said, “It will be just you and me forever, I will help you swim, I will protect you,” as he pulled me deeper into the water. I chose to believe him. I ignored the waves and looked at him instead.
His eyes mesmerized me, I forgot about the waves, the water, the missing people on his deserted beach, I chose to focus on him.
Because he chose me.
As he pulled me deeper and deeper into the water, the sand beneath my feet started to undulate. Nothing seemed to be very stable anymore.
“I am sinking!” I cried out.
“No, you are not” he smiled at me, all the while pulling me deeper.
“I’m not? Are you sure?”
“Of course not, this is our beach, why would you sink, it is just you and me forever, I won’t let you sink.”
“The sand is moving!” I felt a knot tighten in my stomach as panic set in.
“No, it’s not. Don’t say that!”
“Are you sure? It feels like it is moving.”
“Of course I am sure, it will be just you and me forever and I will protect you.”
I chose to believe him.
The only other option meant sinking into the sand, or drowning. So I clung to him, as the waves swirled around me, faster and faster, spinning me around and around until my head was muddled and I felt dizzy and ill.
“Help, I really am going to drown!” I screamed out to him.
I felt his hands gripping mine, he was my only salvation from certain death.
“Why would I let you drown, I chose you, remember? I could have had anyone, but here I am with you, on our beach, forever.”
He smiled down at me as I floundered in the water, but it was only his mouth that was smiling, his eyes were cold. I gripped his arms, clinging on for dear life, he was the only thing standing between me and certain death.
“Why aren’t you drowning, why aren’t you sinking in the sand ”¦ why?” I looked up at him, my hands still gripping his arms, desperate for him to save me. He was not moving, he stood firm and strong.
I felt my head going under the water.
“Don’t worry, I will save you. I love you, remember, it is just you and me, forever.”
I did not notice him smiling.
Water covered my head. I felt his hands wrap around my wrists and for a second I felt safe. Until the weight started pressing on my head. I struggled against it, but the weight kept pressing, pushing me under. For a second my head came out of the water and I realized ”¦ no ”¦ it could not be ”¦ it was HIS foot pressing on my head.
I tried to cry out, but I could not talk, every time I opened my mouth it filled with water so I coughed and choked.
He stood above me, staring at me with cruel callousness, as his foot pressed my head deeper and deeper under the water.
I sank into unconsciousness. I wanted to close my eyes and sleep forever. I was drowning, on his beach. The beach where he was going to love me forever.
Just as it felt like the last breath was going to exit my body, the pressure and weight lifted and I shook my head out of the water, gasping for air.
I crawled up the beach, dragging my exhausted, battered body onto the sand. If I could just make it onto the beach, he would be there to save me.
I coughed up water for a long time, lying on the beach shaking, spluttering, crying and afraid. Finally the exhaustion overcame me and I fell asleep.
I woke up on the beach. It was empty.
He was gone.
Dances, some are little
No bueno
Dear Henry (Dances)
Of course I’m getting jaded, cynical and tick skinned, but that doesn’t mean that I am not having an easier time each time I get “bucked off” in the rodeo-of-life.
The first time or two I got bucked off, stomped on and kicked in the head, I was totally surprised and gobsmacked, but now I am realizing that “friends” do betray us, “family” does stab us in the back, and so on, it isn’t a BIG SURPRISE any more.
Think of a sweet little kid 3-4 years old who loves puppies and she goes up to a strange dog all smiles and so glad to see it and goes to pet it and the thing bites her hand off! DUH! That was ME!
Over and over and over, and each time I was SURPRISED that the damn dog bit me! Now though 1) I don’t stick my hand out to strange dogs 2) even dogs I know I am aware that they CAN bite 3) I’m not totally surprised when even a dog I know bites me 4) if it is a 4 legged dog that bites me I will shoot the SOB and 5) if it is a 2-legged dog that bites me, I will stay as far away from it as I can and won’t spend a lot of time crying over the fact that it bit me, it just won’t get another chance to do it again.
Ox I have vision’s of you shooting a four-legged dog and saying ” I sure loved you, you SOB’
Oh, Rozzie, loved your beach story. That really resonated. Red flag after our second date when he sent me a text saying he would “protect me forever and always.” WE HAD JUST MET 4 DAYS PRIOR!
I’m lying on the beach now, trying to breathe after nearly drowning, alone save for LF team. My best friend refuses to understand what I’m going through, she has her own struggles but is such a man-hater in general. She thinks they’re all a**h***s. I don’t think our friendship is very healthy, either, and may not survive this transition I’m in. I’m not the same person anymore…
Oxy I’ve learned my lesson now about petting dogs (and people)!
well done babe – still gives me goose bumps
Dear Dances (Henry)
Yep and wouldn’t even flinch when I pulled the trigger, the SOB shouldn’t have bitten me. I’ve butchered several oxen that kicked or hooked out of malice and any cow or bull that acted aggressively (unless she was protecting a baby) went to the great barn in the sky! (My freezer!) Got the BIGGER N’ MEANER RULE around here, if some’n is Bigger AND meaner than I am, it goes to the the great beyond! Don’t want nuttin on the place that is TRYING to hurt me. I’m the alpha dawg around here! Gonna stay that way too! Not even feel guilty about it at all either.
That little “set to” in Texas shows me that I have grown a pair of cajones in the last couple of years and I’m beginning to believe that’s a good thing.
I don’t ride the broncs like I used to, got more sense than that now, and am taking a few precautions now, but when I DO get bucked off it doesn’t come as any big surprise to me any more and I don’t get my feelings hurt like I ust’a do.
Back when I was in the wild animal business people would ask us “does that ______(whatever kind of animal) bite?” and our answer was, “If it has a MOUTH IT CAN BITE!” So I have finally come to realize that as long as people are people they can betray you or let you down, so just trust with CAUTION and don’t be totally surprised if you get bitten. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and climb back on the fence.
Well Done Roz, I am so happy for you all and your victory. I too have a little group of ex’s that have really helped in the recovery. No one understands what we have gone through except other victims and no one understands more than the ones that have shared the same experience with the same person 🙂
Oxy hope you had a wonderful xmas new year. I have had a wonderful break moved house and been away a lot. I have also been off the cigarettes and wine for a while now and feel like I new person. I have put on more weight but not really that fussed as I have kicked two really big bad habits and if I can do that dieting cant be too hard? Maybe! lol
Oh don’t talk about dieting, I put on SO much weight over christmas/new year.
I’m going to do like Dances…oh my *
I want a pair of cajones too. They’re bigger than a pair of cojones.
Oxy, i also want to grow a pair of them. How should i do it?
I’m very coward and just have a couple of olives at the moment. 🙂
Dear Rozzie,
Well, darling the diet and life style change was brought on because (as the usual health care professional) I neglected my own health while telling others how to take care of theirs. LOL
I put on a bunch of weight, about 75 pounds, after my husband died and I quit smoking as well, but most of the weight gain was before the smoking stopped. I quit exercising (I was always active) and upped my eating, both in amount and in higher salt (sodium) content and just went into denial about the weight gain, “Oh, it’s only another pound” and “Oh, it’s only another pound or two”—but my blood pressure and blood sugar started to go up and I started to feel bad so I HAD TO DO SOMETHING or get sicker and sicker.
Well, the first BIGGIE was the cigarettes and instead of a half hearted effort to “quit” I ACTUALLY STOPPED THEM and made a real vow to myself I would NOT go back and I haven’t. It’s been a couple of years I think, can’t actually remember when I quit, but it worked and I’ve been tempted a time or two but have NOT given in. Actually, it doesn’t bother me 99.9% of the time, but I know I am a nicotine ADDICT so one slip could be enough to trip me up.
The same thing with the dietary changes and exercise and getting the weight off….and the lower sodium. I have a CHOICE, if I don’t get the weight off, if I don’t stay with a low sodium diet, I will suffer one or all of the following: loss of eye sight, loss of my kidney function, heart attack, stroke, loss of limbs, pain in my feet and legs along with loss of actually sensation in them, loss of independence, loss of life, loss of meaningful life, faster mental decline for old age, and I could go on with the list, I haven’t completed the REASONS for me to eat well, exercise and keep my sodium down and stay away from cigarettes.
But the MAIN REASON TO is not the things I would lose, but the things I HAVE ALREADY GAINED with the loss of just 28 pounds. I FEEL MUCH BETTER ALREADY. I don’t cough any more at all. My feet don’t swell and hurt. I have more energy. I feel better emotionally. I sleep better and more restfully. My mood is brighter. I HANDLE STRESS BETTER THAN I DID. That last one is a BIGGIE.
Eva, if you take care of yourself and learn to set boundaries, THEY WILL GROW, I promise you. That’s the only way I know to grow a pair! (((Hugs)))) LOL