Editor’s note: Andrew J. Harper, who conned multiple women in Australia, was sentenced yesterday to nine months in jail. Here’s what we hear from one of his victims, Rochelle Fisher.
“Rebecca Bell was there, she said the magistrate gave him an absolute drilling, and was not falling for any of his crap. She said the fact that the victims had children made him very angry.
“Also, his lawyer said that he didn’t get any financial gain from his victims, that they were along for the ride and enjoyed it, like staying in hotels etc. And the magistrate said ‘Yes, but, they would not have paid it if he had told the truth.’
“He has been ordered to pay back 22k to victims and hotels, but there is nothing to enforce that order, so he won’t pay it.”
With Harper going back to jail, the women feel vindicated. Still, it’s difficult for them to explain to friends and family how they got into the situation to begin with. Rochelle, who posts on Lovefraud as “Rozzieoz,” wrote the following piece in an attempt to describe the sensation of almost drowning with the con man.
The Beach Where He Said He Would Love Me Forever
By Rochelle Fisher
“Step onto my beach,” he said.
“Your beach?” I asked, in amazement.
“Yes, my beach, I own it. It is all mine but you can share it.”
“Why me?” I asked, “Why am I so special?”
“Because I have been alone for a long, long time and there is nobody else like you,” he answered, as he took my hand and pulled me roughly onto the sand of his beach.
I looked around for other bathers, but we were totally alone. The waves crashed in the distance, seeming to move ominously closer. I decided to ignore the waves and looked at him instead.
“We don’t need anybody else, it will be just you, and me, forever,” he said as he gazed deeply into my eyes, and I chose to believe him.
We walked along the beach, moving further and further away from civilization, closer and closer to the water.
“We don’t need anybody else, it will be just you, and me, forever,” he said, as he pulled me into the shallow water.
I felt nervous.
“I am not sure if I can swim with you.”
I wanted to dive into the water with him and swim forever.
“Yes you can,” he said, “It will be just you and me forever, I will help you swim, I will protect you,” as he pulled me deeper into the water. I chose to believe him. I ignored the waves and looked at him instead.
His eyes mesmerized me, I forgot about the waves, the water, the missing people on his deserted beach, I chose to focus on him.
Because he chose me.
As he pulled me deeper and deeper into the water, the sand beneath my feet started to undulate. Nothing seemed to be very stable anymore.
“I am sinking!” I cried out.
“No, you are not” he smiled at me, all the while pulling me deeper.
“I’m not? Are you sure?”
“Of course not, this is our beach, why would you sink, it is just you and me forever, I won’t let you sink.”
“The sand is moving!” I felt a knot tighten in my stomach as panic set in.
“No, it’s not. Don’t say that!”
“Are you sure? It feels like it is moving.”
“Of course I am sure, it will be just you and me forever and I will protect you.”
I chose to believe him.
The only other option meant sinking into the sand, or drowning. So I clung to him, as the waves swirled around me, faster and faster, spinning me around and around until my head was muddled and I felt dizzy and ill.
“Help, I really am going to drown!” I screamed out to him.
I felt his hands gripping mine, he was my only salvation from certain death.
“Why would I let you drown, I chose you, remember? I could have had anyone, but here I am with you, on our beach, forever.”
He smiled down at me as I floundered in the water, but it was only his mouth that was smiling, his eyes were cold. I gripped his arms, clinging on for dear life, he was the only thing standing between me and certain death.
“Why aren’t you drowning, why aren’t you sinking in the sand ”¦ why?” I looked up at him, my hands still gripping his arms, desperate for him to save me. He was not moving, he stood firm and strong.
I felt my head going under the water.
“Don’t worry, I will save you. I love you, remember, it is just you and me, forever.”
I did not notice him smiling.
Water covered my head. I felt his hands wrap around my wrists and for a second I felt safe. Until the weight started pressing on my head. I struggled against it, but the weight kept pressing, pushing me under. For a second my head came out of the water and I realized ”¦ no ”¦ it could not be ”¦ it was HIS foot pressing on my head.
I tried to cry out, but I could not talk, every time I opened my mouth it filled with water so I coughed and choked.
He stood above me, staring at me with cruel callousness, as his foot pressed my head deeper and deeper under the water.
I sank into unconsciousness. I wanted to close my eyes and sleep forever. I was drowning, on his beach. The beach where he was going to love me forever.
Just as it felt like the last breath was going to exit my body, the pressure and weight lifted and I shook my head out of the water, gasping for air.
I crawled up the beach, dragging my exhausted, battered body onto the sand. If I could just make it onto the beach, he would be there to save me.
I coughed up water for a long time, lying on the beach shaking, spluttering, crying and afraid. Finally the exhaustion overcame me and I fell asleep.
I woke up on the beach. It was empty.
He was gone.
Rochelle,
I am new here, about a month. Just want you and others to know that it wasn’t the online affair that broke up my marriage although that is not something I am proud of. It was a type of seduction that I was vulnerable too because my husband was off doing his own thing. In reality he was the spath I was married to for 25 years. He had an actual affair that I know about, but was more into compulsive shopping and hoarding. My story is on the 3 types of marriage masks threads.
In the entire 25 year marriage it was only towards the end that I succumbed to what I just considered a fantasy. It jumped off the computer screen and took on a life of it’s own. However, my husband had an actual affair in which I helped him get rid of girlfriend, or at least he led me to believe i did.
TTS
Hello Rochelle. I am an Ozzie too and met my sociopath mate on the beach. He literally spoke all those things to me on our first meeting. e.g. Love found you, you didnt find love!!!!!!!!!! I choose to believe him as I was in need of someone like him in my life at this time. I have written many songs about my 10 years with him. Yes, when I woke up he was gone and still is. We dont exist to these horrible people. They set out to destroy us and I am on his persuit. He is doing it all over again with a well meaning person who is enfactuated with him. How can we save these people from their lies and bullshit? There should be a data base. It would not be difficult to substantiate their track record.
I love this blog as I know i am not alone.
Hi frankie –
I plan to eventually set up a data-base in Australia. I’ve already set up a blog, but have not invited traffic to it, as yet.
I wanted to get my court case (Property settlement in the WA Family Court)out of the way first, because then I’m dobbing him in for insurance fraud (once the property is settled, I can no longer be held accountable for his sins, whereas until that happens, any judgement against him can be taken from my share, as our asset pool is still considered to be shared in a legal sense).
This should happen before the end of this year.
When it does, I’ll let everyone here who is in Australia, know about it.
The AJH girls have already got a blog about AJH but I want something that’s more generic – where multiple people can post and compare notes about multiple con-artists.
Hi Everyone! Im like TB, Oxy, Creampuff,Dist. Gran. and many others in that the 2 spaths in my life,{well, they are now OUT of my life thank God!are my daughters . One is a Narcissist, the other is a Narc/.Sociopath.the pain these 2 have inflicted on me over the last 30 years is beyond belief, I am still wading thru layers and layers of SHIT!and gaslighting.
The older one, now almost 47, destroyed my Art studio and trashed many of my Paintings and valuable art books, many of which were prizes from Art school.One painting, a commissioned work of “Christ in the Tree of Life,” an 8 ft. by
5 foot panel, she painted “F–ing Bitch!”in letters one foot across in balck paint.She beat me up witha bamboo pole leaving purple welts on my leg.Sh e has never ever said sorry for these things nor will she.
The other spath,C, now 45, I havent seen since Feb. 1993,{her choice.} I emailed her wrote, sent gifts, flowers, cards, nothing made any difference. She has three lovely kids Ive never ever seen, not even as tiny babies. I confess to looking at pics of the girl, Rebecca, now13,{I think} on Facebook. she is a lovely looking girl, and doesnt even know I exist. The second spath, C, is married to a very rich jewish boy whose Mum pays for everything, the 4 million mansion, all the school fees at an exclusive Jewish college, the nanny, the cars, everything.My daughter still loks good but is a s hard as nails, money is her god, she despises poor people, my 2nd husband and I have basically been :”NOTHINGED”. ie, treated as if we are dead.
Sh e has at least done better financially than older spath D,who, at 47, lives in a rented room in a shared condo, picks up work where she can, all her stuff is in store, her ex hubby has FT custody of her 3 kids,{whom I havent seen in over 2 years.}She is a liar, a thief, a con artist,a user,a vampire, who will suck you dry and move on to the next victim. I finally,{around $10,000 poorer,} pulled the pin on her over a year ago for my mental, emotional, and financial survival. i owe her nOTHING more. I no longer miss her, whats to miss? But I do miss not seein her 3 kids, and I still grieve for the other Ds 3 kids whom Ive never seen. God knows what lies they tell their kids about me!
I sure drew the short straw with my 2 daughters.
If I had my time over ,I would not have kids,they basically use their own kids to torture me with.
Forgiveness I still find hard, its easy to forgive but forgetting is a nother matter.Especially as I had to “Stuff” all my anger for over 15 years,, just to get to see my Gkids.The price was way too high.
Love, Mama gem.
I see there is a nother “Gem” here on LF!Ill put Mama gem in future so as not to confuse.
Hi All – am too busy with work to post, but i want you all to know you are in my thoughts, and I wish us all freedom from the pain and damage wrought by the s/p/n who were in our lives.
..and you are right gemini girl – the cost is way too high.
Mama Gem,
hmmmm…. art is a subjective thing isn’t it?
hearing you describe what you’re spawn did to your art work gave me an idea….you should paint what you have suffered. That art work would be the most provocative art, the one with Christ and then the F-Bitch on it. You could do an entire show that would reveal sociopaths through the eyes of an artist…. just a thought. We are given our gifts and our crosses for a reason…
Hey One Joy,
hugs and kisses to you. I should be busy doing work but have been too depressed. I’m a spoiled rotten child indulging in my depression because I’m a spoiled rotten child.
The spath has slimed me. Avoidance whatever. I look up to you for how you handle your life.
Sky, Ive finally got the small prints of a lot of my psychic paintings enlarged, and they look terrific! My adopted son, Abbas took pics of them, and sent them to me as a n attachment. Then Jeff, our computer wizz, put them on my Facebook.I sent them to hens, and Oxy,{did you get them Oxy?} if you give Donna your email and ask her to give it to me, I can send them to you if youd like.
I only have one of these paintings left now, the one of the Seagull. Some I sold, some I gave to friends,some were destroyed. The huge mural panel my spath D defaced was actually a commissione d piece for a Monastery. They had previously bought one panel for a monastery in Melbourne.
of the Resurrected Christ. This panel was called “Christ in the Tree of Life,” and when it was defaced, I was never able to finish it.My ex cut it up, and it was burned. the horrible negative energy from my bitch D filled the whole studio, it felt like an attack from satan, which in a way it was.Love, Mama GemXX
Dear Roz…..This has touched me so deeply. If only I could have put my hell into words….this is it. You are brilliant and I am sharing this with the world. I know EXACTLY what this feels like but the S that I left still steps on my head and doesnt stop…I left him over a year ago…God bless you and thank you for this analogy…I hope “regular” people can digest this the way us victims have lived it….XOXO
Just a reminder to the Aussie peeps – we have a facebook support group
ConnedInAus
it is a closed forum, but a very safe place to purge, share and support
Wow. That’s an incredible story. Anyone else meet “Charlton” who now goes by “Alex”? He claims to have lived in England (obsessed w/ it) for many years and fakes a British accent? If so, run. This analogy above runs true. He, too, was “alone a very long time waiting to meet” me. He misrepresented everything. So happy I left him after uncovering he was a fraud – and never looked back.