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Almost drowning with the con man Andrew J. Harper

You are here: Home / Explaining the sociopath / Almost drowning with the con man Andrew J. Harper

February 2, 2011 //  by Lovefraud Reader//  55 Comments

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Editor’s note: Andrew J. Harper, who conned multiple women in Australia, was sentenced yesterday to nine months in jail. Here’s what we hear from one of his victims, Rochelle Fisher.

“Rebecca Bell was there, she said the magistrate gave him an absolute drilling, and was not falling for any of his crap. She said the fact that the victims had children made him very angry.

“Also, his lawyer said that he didn’t get any financial gain from his victims, that they were along for the ride and enjoyed it, like staying in hotels etc. And the magistrate said ‘Yes, but, they would not have paid it if he had told the truth.’

“He has been ordered to pay back 22k to victims and hotels, but there is nothing to enforce that order, so he won’t pay it.”

With Harper going back to jail, the women feel vindicated. Still, it’s difficult for them to explain to friends and family how they got into the situation to begin with. Rochelle, who posts on Lovefraud as “Rozzieoz,” wrote the following piece in an attempt to describe the sensation of almost drowning with the con man.

The Beach Where He Said He Would Love Me Forever

By Rochelle Fisher

“Step onto my beach,” he said.
“Your beach?” I asked, in amazement.
“Yes, my beach, I own it. It is all mine but you can share it.”
“Why me?” I asked, “Why am I so special?”
“Because I have been alone for a long, long time and there is nobody else like you,” he answered, as he took my hand and pulled me roughly onto the sand of his beach.

I looked around for other bathers, but we were totally alone. The waves crashed in the distance, seeming to move ominously closer. I decided to ignore the waves and looked at him instead.

“We don’t need anybody else, it will be just you, and me, forever,” he said as he gazed deeply into my eyes, and I chose to believe him.

We walked along the beach, moving further and further away from civilization, closer and closer to the water.

“We don’t need anybody else, it will be just you, and me, forever,” he said, as he pulled me into the shallow water.
I felt nervous.
“I am not sure if I can swim with you.”

I wanted to dive into the water with him and swim forever.

“Yes you can,” he said, “It will be just you and me forever, I will help you swim, I will protect you,” as he pulled me deeper into the water. I chose to believe him. I ignored the waves and looked at him instead.

His eyes mesmerized me, I forgot about the waves, the water, the missing people on his deserted beach, I chose to focus on him.

Because he chose me.

As he pulled me deeper and deeper into the water, the sand beneath my feet started to undulate. Nothing seemed to be very stable anymore.

“I am sinking!” I cried out.
“No, you are not” he smiled at me, all the while pulling me deeper.
“I’m not? Are you sure?”
“Of course not, this is our beach, why would you sink, it is just you and me forever, I won’t let you sink.”
“The sand is moving!” I felt a knot tighten in my stomach as panic set in.
“No, it’s not. Don’t say that!”
“Are you sure? It feels like it is moving.”
“Of course I am sure, it will be just you and me forever and I will protect you.”

I chose to believe him.

The only other option meant sinking into the sand, or drowning. So I clung to him, as the waves swirled around me, faster and faster, spinning me around and around until my head was muddled and I felt dizzy and ill.

“Help, I really am going to drown!” I screamed out to him.

I felt his hands gripping mine, he was my only salvation from certain death.
“Why would I let you drown, I chose you, remember? I could have had anyone, but here I am with you, on our beach, forever.”

He smiled down at me as I floundered in the water, but it was only his mouth that was smiling, his eyes were cold. I gripped his arms, clinging on for dear life, he was the only thing standing between me and certain death.

“Why aren’t you drowning, why aren’t you sinking in the sand ”¦ why?” I looked up at him, my hands still gripping his arms, desperate for him to save me. He was not moving, he stood firm and strong.
I felt my head going under the water.

“Don’t worry, I will save you. I love you, remember, it is just you and me, forever.”

I did not notice him smiling.

Water covered my head. I felt his hands wrap around my wrists and for a second I felt safe. Until the weight started pressing on my head. I struggled against it, but the weight kept pressing, pushing me under. For a second my head came out of the water and I realized ”¦ no ”¦ it could not be ”¦ it was HIS foot pressing on my head.

I tried to cry out, but I could not talk, every time I opened my mouth it filled with water so I coughed and choked.

He stood above me, staring at me with cruel callousness, as his foot pressed my head deeper and deeper under the water.

I sank into unconsciousness. I wanted to close my eyes and sleep forever. I was drowning, on his beach. The beach where he was going to love me forever.

Just as it felt like the last breath was going to exit my body, the pressure and weight lifted and I shook my head out of the water, gasping for air.

I crawled up the beach, dragging my exhausted, battered body onto the sand. If I could just make it onto the beach, he would be there to save me.

I coughed up water for a long time, lying on the beach shaking, spluttering, crying and afraid. Finally the exhaustion overcame me and I fell asleep.

I woke up on the beach. It was empty.

He was gone.

Category: Explaining the sociopath, Seduced by a sociopath

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. skylar

    February 21, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    Oxy,
    you give my brother TOO MUCH CREDIT when you suggest that one of his plans for success might be getting a job that pays a million bucks a year! That would still be a JOB! That AIN’T in his plans for ANYTHING! LOL!

    You are so right about them living in fantasy land, I get that and I know you do too. that’s why I thought you would get a kick out of my brother’s iron-clad plan for success. ROTFLOL!

    But you missed my point about their focus on their parents.
    I mean if I had a million dollars would I immediately go buy my parents’ home? No, I’d get my OWN home. If I was going to have a fantasy future like your son does, would I target my mom’s property as the center of it? NO, my fantasy would be MY OWN FANTASY. They have NOTHING of their own. They actually have NO imagination. They are constantly wearing other’s lives (dreams, desires, behaviors). It’s another aspect of the way they take your life.

    If it was just greed, they could rob anyone but my brother and your son have focused on their parents.

    My exP didn’t try to rob his mom but he projected all of his hatred of her onto me and then tried to kill me. That became obvious at the end. Women in general have to pay for the hatred he feels toward his mom. The only reasons he ever gave me for hating her is that she left her cheating husband and that she had him circumcised causing his dick to be too small. 🙁

    Oh and BTW, did you also notice that my spath sister IS obsessed with the family house? everything she and her P-husband do has been about getting that house. They already own 2 of their own (well, they are upside down on both, and my parents’ house is paid for).

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  2. ErinBrock

    February 21, 2011 at 2:38 pm

    Rozzieoz and AJH survivors……What your doing is marvelous!
    Keep up the good work.
    There are up sides and down sides……
    Cover your legal ass and shout from the heavens……

    And make certain…..YOUR all able to heal as you move on!

    XXOO
    EB

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  3. Back_from_the_edge

    May 31, 2011 at 12:09 pm

    Thanks for sharing your story with all of us. It really hit home. When I confronted my spath about his trying to kill me, he said the exact same words: “At least we can be together forever now.” He didn’t try killing me by drowning; I can’t relay to you how he tried to kill me. I am in the middle of legal things regarding him. But, when I confronted him about it, he said the exact same words to me. “I will always love you and protect you.” Yah, right.

    I had refused to go with him anywhere, in the car, because I didn’t trust him. I couldn’t even go walking with him, where he wouldn’t threaten ‘pushing me in front of a car, if he REALLY wanted to do away with me.’

    I have never been ANYTHING but kind, loving and caring to this IDIOT and HE is trying to kill me? With laughter and a smile on his face???!!!

    I can sooooooooooooooooooo relate to this article.
    Thanks for sharing. xxoo

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  4. senseless

    May 4, 2012 at 1:46 am

    Wow Rochelle. I have been to that beach. I was caught in a rip and I kept swimming against it until my body, mind and spirit was so exhausted I just went with it and that rip took me further and further to sea. When I regained my energy I decided I wanted to get off that beach so I swam and swam for a long while but I was not going to give in to fatigue. I got to shore and left that beach. I looked back a few times just to be sure I never wanted to swim at that beach again. Why would I? There was a blood sucking vampire that lived there.

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  5. snowwhite

    May 4, 2012 at 8:35 am

    Wow! This story metaphorically sums up my relationship with a psychopathic. So beautifully written. I still don’t understand that with all the signs glaring at us we still want to believe in them. What is this hold they have over their victims??? I hope someone will post an article about their psychological power over their victims!

    Snow

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