By | January 16, 2012 102 Comments

Another documentary to spread the word about psychopaths

Filmmaker Alexander Davidis has directed commercials for international advertising agencies and documentaries about historic race cars. Then he had an experience with a psychopath, and now wants to help tell the world that these predators live among us.

Davidis already started by interviewing some of the world’s leading researchers on psychopathy. To complete the project, he’s listed it on Kickstarter, which is the world’s largest funding platform for creative projects. He wants to raise at least $60,000.

Kickstarter is interesting. Anyone can be a backer, pledging as little as $1 on a credit card. In order for the money to be collected, the project must reach its entire goal by the deadline. If the project doesn’t reach the entire goal in pledges, none of the money is collected. In other words, the backers’ credit cards are only charged if enough money is raised for the project to go forward.

So, check out the trailer that Alexander Davidis has produced for the film. If you believe the project is important, you can become a backer.

Psychopathy—and why you need to know, on

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Ox Drover

I heard about Kickstarter dot com recently andn I think it is a wonderful idea….I have pledged and if every LoveFraud reader will pledge even ONE DOLLAR it will help get this film off the ground and running. I wish I could pledge $50,000 for this project but there is no way I can of course, but I did pledge what I can afford and I encourage every one on LoveFraud to do what they can even if it is only one dollar! Do what you can. Put your money where our mouth is! Pledge today!


I’m glad people are trying to get the word out.

my concern is that they are taking the wrong approach. When they describe a spath, they say, “without conscience, remorseless.” But my spath pretended to have both. That’s why I read “People of the Lie” and didn’t get it.

What needs to be emphasized is the con. The trauma bond is critical to understanding spaths. Other traits like the pity ploy and lack of responsibility, are also important to emphasize.

In the end, you have to ask yourself, “how do you feel around this person? Are the highs really high and the lows really low?” That is a red flag that you need to get someone to help you figure out if this is a spath.

In the case of children raised by N’s and P’s, they will already be accustomed to the highs and lows. Kids need to know that if their emotions are swinging wildly, they need to get help too.


I really loved the intro, and donated. It’s a start….

And, Skylar, maybe the extended version will address the con, the total deception and cover that makes them initially so difficult to recognize- and so dangerous. I think M. Scott Peck got a pretty good start with his book. But perhaps someone needs to rework his ideas, and give them some fresh language. I don’t know. I love People of the Lie.

Two of the spaths I’ve known are all about peace and love and creativity and community. But, underneath, they are both sadistic. A coupla groovy demons. They put on that they would never hurt a soul. And they abhor injustice and violence. But they hurt and belittle and harass people all the time. And when they hurt others’ they shift the responsibility by insinuating it is because those people were just too ‘limited’ and ‘small minded’, not spiritually evolved enough to hang in their ‘lofty space’.

They are such mimics it is hard to tell by their words and life- philosophies what they are.

I finally get that listening to my instincts and feelings is a much better barometer for warning me about a personality disordered individual. Using ‘just’ logic and words doesn’t work for me. These shits are masters at twisting words and logic!


I hope the extended version has a focus on the mask. It’s so important. The mask isn’t just the outward portrayal to the world, it’s HOW THEY MAKE YOU FEEL. That’s what the mask REALLY is.

All the spaths in my life made me feel that they were special and I was honored to help them. puke.


Such good points Sky and Slim –

Is there a way we can direct the makers here? To do the subject justice, the research needs to include the viewpoints/experiences of victims, as well as how they woke up to to the con and how they actively worked to escape the con and the lingering after-effects – what better place collect such interviewees than here on LF?

Donna –

Is it possible to get word to this guy that he has many willing story-tellers here? Not having to go looking for a lot of what we already have would surely save some money and time?


Okay – so I just ignored the fact that I am broke and living on the bones of my ass. I pledged to support the project and posted the link to my Facebook page as well.

I also sent Mr Davidis a message telling him that I, for one, would be happy to be interviewed if he is looking for “victims” for the doco.


skylar said: “All the spaths in my life made me feel that they were special and I was honored to help them. puke.”

Here is a bucket, dear…
I will hold your hair back for you and when I need it you can do the same for me…deal?



Skylar and Duped,
Yep, that quote made me dry heave and eventually GAG!


sorry to be so vulgar.


Sorry Ana
Do you need the bucket, Dear???


Yay skylar!
I have a bucket/hair holder; hehehehe

Thank you so much for all of your comments. I certainly will consider them all.

I am aware of the cons and the masks and shall do my best to expose them. I will also be happy to talk to you when the time comes to officially go into production (beginning of March if funding is successful).

As soon as the article above came out I noticed an increase of pledges. You all have my deepest gratitude. Thank you again.


Ox Drover


I am a retired registered nurse practitioner in both mental health and medical fields…I am also the daughter of a very criminal (though not convicted by law) psychopath, and the mother of a psychopath who is in prison for murder. I think it is important to show that psychopaths CAN be the “bad boy wife beater” or they can be the “good citizen wife beater/child molester” (Sandusky type) or they can be the MENTAL manipulator who is a con-man yet appears altruistic. I suggest you also read the books written by Dr. Barbara Oakley (she gets it, she has a sister who is a psychopath)

Good luck with your film, I applaud you for trying to get the word out on psychopaths!


Just a question – is it only me who is questioning this film maker’s request for money – does this not sound a little odd asking VICTIMS for money? Sounds so familiar, many years of listening to stories about needing money from my ex-Spath who left me with nothing. I think we should be questioning his true intentions and credentials. We could all be asking for a $1.00 from each subscriber and all do very well – that’s what separates us from THEM. Talk about not trusting – I have learned to trust myself and have the courage to ask questions!

Ox Drover

Viver, first off, welcome to Love Fraud.

KickStart is a program where anyone can ask to have a project funded for X amount of dollars….kickstart gets a fee from the money donated (a small amount) and has funded several great projects.

The DOWN side of Kickstart is that ANY one can request funding and there is NO oversight of what is actually DONE with the money. So yes, Kickstart can be a place that con men and women propose a fake or con and get money for what sounds like a great program or something to help others.

I don’t know this man, but from the looks of his credentials, he is on the up and up. I actually donated a few bucks. I am not going to be badly hurt if he doesn’t do something worthwhile with my $10 and I would have given that amount to a homeless man on the street. I don’t have a lot of money to give away to others but I do try to help where I can. If this man makes a short film about psychopaths, that is great! If not, if he snuffs it up his nose oh, well.


Thanks for your responses – my ex Spath also had ‘credentials’ and attempted to solicit ‘small contributions’ for that ‘one day big pay-out’ through many different sources (not to my knowledge – until I found out after the fact) and I due to that lost many friends.

I just think it is very ‘odd’ that money is solicited through this ‘Kickstarter’ – maybe they should be investigated – sounds like a room full of Spaths getting their ‘kickback’! Even by donating $1.00 this keeps sites like this going!

Donate your $1.00’s to your local Women’s Shelter the true victims.

Ox Drover

Dear Viver,

I can understand your concerns, and I agree with you that Kickstart is a perfect opportunity for a psychopath to get a “donation” to their cause….because it is NOT monitored. On other projects on that site that SEEM worthy I am not interested in donating even a cent BECAUSE it is not monitored.

In this instance I AM willing to donate a few bucks to the cause. I also donate to the local women’s shelter as well. Donna’s site here at LF has a book store and her books and others that she sells and makes a buck or two off of….I don’t begrudge her making a few bucks because this site is GETTING THE WORD OUT. The bottom line is GETTING the word out takes time, energy and lots of other stuff, so a person getting a few buck for doing that is great with me. If he also turns out to be a con man….then I have learned another lesson. LOL

Again, Viver, welcome to Love Fraud….this is a community with many diverse opinions and yours is welcomed. Thanks for your post.


Hey Skylar,

When you say the mask is what makes us feel, do you mean it is the illusion that we respond to? It is how they manipulate our emotions?

Which, of course, is ‘mainly’ what they want. Ultimately.

They take sex, money, and resources up front. And they get some of our emotional responses to their feigned affection, and our excitement of being involved with a ‘superstar’. And then, finally, they get the BIG emotional bang-for-their-buck when they openly betray and discard us.

What I eventually understood about myself is that having my emotions manipulated not only solicits (sometimes) the response the manipulator wants, but it also produces a subtle (and not so subtle) discomfort in me. Even if I am successfully manipulated. And it is this gut level discomfort that, for me, is SO important to register and use as a measure of my need to protect myself. To put up a protective boundry.



I also dated a spath who solicited small contributions from his ‘students’, to aid him in his ability to put on workshops, etc…so I understand your hesitation and your suspicion. I had that thought as well. There is something inside me that really doesn’t want to contribute to any person who may be rotten and using others for their selfish gain.

In fact credentials, degrees, resumes, references, etc….are all fodder for spaths. You cannot read the book by the cover when it comes to these blackholes.

Something about this felt OK for me. But if it didn’t, I would simply not participate.

Welcome to LF!


I do get the definition of the mask, that is HOW THEY MAKE US FEEL.

My spath would say something and while I could NOT put my finger on why, it FELT “off”. Some here call it being “slimed” and that’s close to the feeling I’d get. I KNEW I was being manipulated, that it was WRONG, but WHY did I feel that way? I used to have to take time to THINK about it. Like I said in last nights post, I can be a little slow in the uptake to understand I am being attacked by a dysfunctional jerk, never mind an spath!

I’d tell my X! husband, “That’s not right, but I have to think about why what you said is not moral.” I used to think it was b/c there was something WRONG WITH ME. Now I understand, my INTUITION told me when things were off, I was given a FEELING, but I had to analyse to discover the underlying manipulation.

So yes, I do get it’s how they make us FEEL is a valid definition but the problem with that is it’s too undefinable, and sometimes too… the feeling is delayed. Like I said, an “off” feeling but you don’t know why…

I like this man’s SUBJECT but…

I did not like this man’s form of solicitation. It felt exploitative. Was it Oral Roberts who said a 700 ft Jesus told him that people needed to donate a certain amount by a certain date or God was going to take him? Felt like extortion to me. That’s what this man’s solicitation felt like, extortion. FEELS off… ummm. Pay up or else.


o. o. O!.
I am also reading a book, “Predators” and in it, the prison inmates describe how they corrupt prison guards or prison employees. They get them to give them something. Does not have to be big, in fact, is most likely very small. But once a person gives them that first thing, they know they’ve “got them”.

That’s what this man’s solicitation felt like. Straight out of that book.

ps The book is full of eye opening spath manipulations. Makes ya sick when ya realize just how easily spaths can manipulate and how much they love the game. VERY hard to read the pedophile chapters. Like lambs to the slaughter and the lambs carry the blade.



I totally get how you describe your feeling responses to your husband. I went through the same.

I thought something was wrong with me as well. Because I was the one feeling awkward, and he was as cool and controlled as all get out. Totally unperturbed. Whereas I was stirred up inside.

It is them projecting their disowned internal disturbance that keeps them calm. It is our willingness to question our own motives that gets us stirred up.

The spaths would have us be continually caught up in their dramas so that we cannot listen to our still small voices.

Plus we are taught in this culture that being ’emotional’ and ‘intuitive’ is bad, and being and in our heads, and having a defensible narrative is good. I had to discard that belief in order to honor my own instincts and feelings.

My thinking doesn’t always give me the feedback I need to protect myself. But my feelings have been darn near 100% informative. For me that has meant I have needed to let go of having a narrative to back up my feelings, and instead ‘give in’ to trusting my feelings.

It is quite undefinable and subtle. Waking up to the reality of these creatures means I am waking up to my ‘quieter’ messages, that I am living more mindfully.

Ox Drover

KatyDid, what is the full title and the author of the book you are reading?

I think I would like to read that book. I also read a book named “Predators” by Dr. Anna Salter a few years ago about pedophiles, but I sent it to a friend so don’t have a copy of it, I think I will order another copy for my permanent library on Psychopaths though. I’m getting a pretty good library on the subject. LOL


Yes Oxy. It is Dr Salters book that I am reading. I didn’t remember who recommended it. Someone from LF, thought it was you. EXCELLENT insights into how spaths manipulate. It’s so subtle, no wonder we get trapped. Scary how we give spaths clues about our vulnerability and gullibility.

And yes, I am gullible/vulnerable but only to a point, and my threshold is very low and strong. I’ve had a “friend” get me to pay when we went out by ordering food, eating, and THEN pulling a pity play that he didn’t realize HE had to pay or he wouldn’t have eaten.

I am also gullible b/c in a conflict, I assume I did something wrong and I try to reason and explain. I am catching on though, the other person just uses my explanation as further proof that I am defective, they pick out words that I used incorrectly. Yes, I am socially awkward so it’s EASY to pick wrong words. I have been told I need an editor! But decent people don’t pull that kind of carp either. Decent people ASK what you mean or think, they don’t TELL you what you think.

The book was hard for me to read. Lots of sickening realizations of how I’ve been “had” in life and how easy it was to trap me.


yes, how they make us feel is part of the mask.
When you first encounter someone who creates an emotional response in you, that should be a red flag because your emotions are yours and normal people will respect that boundary. Spaths have no respect for that boundary and their entire stalking method is to stalk your emotions.

They can stalk you by love bombing. Or they can do a pity ploy. They can even approach you with a story that makes you feel outrage because someone else has been unfairly treated. All of these are a direct attack on your emotions. That doesn’t necessarily mean its a spath, but the red flags should go up. If you find that the person continually affects you this way or if the emotions are a roller coaster ride of ups and downs, I think that is further evidence of an emotional vampire.

Various forms of art, including film, will do this. But in that situation, we are walking in with our eyes open and knowing that art is supposed to affect our emotions. So I guess, when a person feels like they’ve walked into the scene of a soap opera drama but it’s real life, then we might ask ourselves if this isn’t a performance or a “mask” being presented for our benefit.


The trap with my spath husband was that he was SO cool, so unemotional, he didn’t have drama. My husband did NOT lovebomb me. That would have been drama.

Everyone around him did have drama, seemed like a lot of it. So overwhelming that I avoided them (another trick he used to socially isolate me.) I found out eventually, he LOVED to stir the pot. he’d gossip all in the name of “watching out for their best interests.”

He’d say OUTRAGEOUS terrible things to me right before someone would walk in the door and I’d be trying to catch my breath and they’d ask what was wrong with me (prolly had a weird look on my face too), and he’d say, that’s just how she is. give her a minute and she’ll change (kinda like the weather). (This was also him laying the foundation to shred my rep.)


An author that writes along this vein is George Simon. Wolf in sheep’s clothing, and his newer book, character disordered, have many examples of manipulation tactics used by the character disordered (psychopaths or the plain nasty). He also has a limited blog. We should all give at least one example that we have experienced. My daughter and I found the x’s profile on e harmony recently. It was interesting to see how he manipulates people’s perceptions of things before he even meets them. He wrote that he has a daughter that he loves so much even though she can be very difficult. She is not the least bit what anyone would consider difficult! He is setting up his next victim’s perception of our daughter to be negative before they ever meet her, all the better to explain why he doesn’t have much of a relationship with his only child.So smooth….

Ox Drover

Katy,, the one thing I have a “problem” with in Dr. Salter’s book is that she does not call them sociopaths or psychopaths and she focuses mostly on pedophiles and their manipulation….there are psychopaths that focus mainly on luring women or conning, but her book is primarily focused on the pedophiles like Sandusky.

KatyDid, GREAT BOOK though, otherwise.

Well they fixed my central heat unit, had to replace the fan, but it is an older model, 1997 so won’t be long before I have to replace the whole thing. I tend to think that it isn’t that old because the days go slow and the years go FAST around here. LOL In the meantime, when I go to town to the doc tomorrow we will leave early and replace the “emergency” stove (for when the central heat goes out in an ice storm or when ever) that my ex “frenemy” stole when she was living out here in her RV….Oh, well –she at least replaced it with an old one that was missing a few parts and didn’t work and looked kind of like mine, so she figured I wouldn’t notice until an emergency happened and I needed it! LOL What a “frenemy” huh? Takes your fire extinguisher cause you won’t know it is gone til there is a fire! LOL Well, she is OUT of my life and I’m proud to say that she taught me to SET BOUNDARIES when I caught her in the ACT of stealing from me in the winter after the summer of chaos. I cried for 3 days over “upsetting HER” by catching her stealing. I have, I will say it again I HAVE COME A LONG WAY SINCE THEN. She was a great part of my education in psychopathy that hides under a mask of FRIENDSHIP as well as “entitlement” because of that friendship.

So I can’t say that the loss of several thousand dollars worth of stuff, and I probably don’t know the wide extent of all the losses just yet, it will take me $500 at least to replace the stove….wasn’t worth the price of the knowledge I gained. She did rip me off for a lot of stuff, both of monetary and emotional value to me, but I still think in the end, I came out ahead. She is broke, working pick up work, 55 years old, seeking a room to rent in someone’s house that will allow her to keep her pit bull—and has NOTHING except what she can haul on her back.

So in the end, psychopaths do “shoot themselves in the foot” many many times. Some live high on the hog and then crash, like Bernie madoff, and others like my P sperm donor live high on the hog and die with a pot full of money and no friends or loved ones except the ones that hang on for the sake of the money they might get.

My egg donor seemed to think she could lure me back in with the promise of money–but I’m not for sale then or now. I know the PRICE IS WAY TOO HIGH.

Ox Drover

Madhanna, I have that book and it is a GREAT ONE!! It is part of my permanent collection of P-books. The nice thing about it is that it is jwritten where ANYONE can understand it. That is important when writing about psychopaths is that the information needs to be avialble in a format where anyone over 10 years old can know what they are talking about, yet not talkk “down” to anyone..


One Part I found Valuable in Dr Salter’s book is where she is talking about the children of Chowchilla and how they were affected long term. I could completely relate. I remember sunny optimism like that when I was a child. When I was SO fortunate to get my career job, I healed and regained that optimism. But marriage to my husband was one assault and trauma after another….and there I am again, struggling to find a reason to do ANYTHING. WHAT is the POINT? Getting through the day was such a struggle. I say I looked into the abyss and I could have gone either way. But I cannot FORGET what it felt like, the great yawning NOTHING, emptiness. The awareness that there is NObody for me.

Well, my divorce is final and this is MY year to reconnect to my spirit. I am healing mind body and spirit this year. I had to go back into HELL to get my divorce and yes, it was rough b/c it meant getting sick again but now it is no longer hanging over me. HE can not take the fruits of my labor anymore. We shall see what we shall see. And that may not sound like much to others…. but to someone without HOPE? That is the whisper of POSSIBILITIES. OF HOPE!

What I did NOT like about Dr Salter’s book is she opened the knowledge of WHY I feel the way I do, but did not give ANY direction of what I can do to make it different. YES, people who suffer trauma have their whole life view change. HOW, in the face of all this LOGIC, do you change it back? Well, that is my task! Onwards and UPwards Mighty Mouse!

ps Oxy One ME TOO I do NOT want to have is my heat furnace from 1994 went out too. It will cost nearly $3000 to fix. And in my situation, I don’t have that kind of cash (taxes are due! insurance just paid! Those were nearly $4000!). Luckily I live where it has been warm and a little oil heater has been enough. DRATS.



Got it. Whatever schtick they use it involves some level of boundary violation, evidenced by soliciting an emotional response from the target. Done when this level of ‘intimacy’ (used in the general term) is inappropriate.

Soliciting our emotions so they can feed off of them, and benefit from our being off-center. Blech! I need that barf bag!


The way you describe your exspath has me seeing him as totally addicted to drama and creating a bunch of it. Your post describes the drama he created. By choosing others’ whose lives were full of drama, by gossiping, stirring the pot, and verbally abusing you just before others’ would enter the room. Then he would project his own weather patterns onto you, in front of other people, saying “give her a minute and she’ll change (kinda like the weather)”.

He sounds like a classic, with his Mr. in Control facade. Getting everyone else to act out so he can suck up all the emotional turmoil. And doing his damnedest to appear to have nothing to do with it.

That is not to say that you should have figured him out before you did, because it was ‘so obvious’. It never is obvious. They come in all flavors and colors. I just mean to say he sounds very classic, once you strip his lies away (that he is a very together, and emotionally stable man).

They are so filled with lies. Anywhoo, whatever our interpretations, glad you are away from him.

Ox Drover

KatyDid, if either my heater or AC goes out (the AC is about the same age) I will have to replace both….they no longer make just one by itself, so it is like $7500 to replace both, so what I have decided to do is to put in an area stove (like the emergency one I am buying) that will heat the main part of the house, and will use electric space heaters for bathrooms, and a “window unit” AC that will be installed in the wall to cool the main part of the house which is all I cool now actually, because in this area the bedrooms can be cooled at night with a window fan, so $500 or so for the heater which I have to have any way for power outage emergencies, and $500 for the AC….and I am fixed. The stove should last 10 years and the AC 7-10 before it needs replacing and by then SURELY I will know if I dare spend any significant money on this house or if I am going to have to move somewhere else and need the money for a new place to live.

If I were to outlive my egg donor and can keep him in prison AND/OR broke, then I can put some money into this house to replace the heat/AC etc. and add storm windows etc. but you know, til then, I will just do what I have to do, the minimum to keep it habitable.


I have been reading as a reminder to myself that the emotional vampires never change. Thank you all. Oxy,you are so wise. and Slimone,”They are so filled with lies.” YES! They are all lies and I have learned that nothing that I have been taught in life really applies when dealing with a spath. You can not rationalize with them or reason and make sense of the lies and manipulation. You can’t see it while you are in it because you are dealing with the daily emotional chaos that is so normal for them and foreign to you. You are in survival mode. You try to gain their understanding and get through to them…beating the dead horse. So maddening and you become the crazy one.

Ox Drover

Dear Truebeliever,

you said a mouth full there because you cannot get through to them, there is no way to reason with them….but you are NOT the crazy one. So hang in there!


Dearest Katydid –

“I am socially awkward so it’s EASY to pick wrong words. I have been told I need an editor! But decent people don’t pull that kind of carp either. Decent people ASK what you mean or think, they don’t TELL you what you think….The book was hard for me to read. Lots of sickening realizations of how I’ve been “had” in life and how easy it was to trap me. ”

I am so glad that you realise that decent people are patient and kind with those who may be socially awkward and/or difficult to understand at first. NEVER blame yourself for this, okay?

As far as your “sickening realisations” go and the ease with which you have been often trapped throughout your life – you are in good company there honey. It seems that many of us here – myself most definitely included! – have trotted along through our lives pretty much the same way until we unravelled after having been spathed. It’s the one thing about which I can actually feel grateful – the experience(s) has(have) taught me to set boundaries I would not have dreamed of setting prior to identifying the spaths in my life, especially since working out the Superspath I was most recently with.

Before them, I used to have a vague awareness that I would somehow need to learn to say the word “No”, but I still got such a buzz out of helping others that I rarely enforced it, or else did not stick at putting myself first for very long. Or else I would say no to some things but carry on doing other things for others when nothing or not much ever came back the other way to me. Not that I ever do nice things in order to be rewarded or to secure something in return – I don’t believe that would be right and it’s not the creed that I live by; but I DO remember a mental health counsellor with whom I was trying to book a friend in for a session many years ago, looking me straight in the eye and asking me why I was helping this person when there was CONTINUALLY nothing in it for me, when all I ever got in return was stress, grief and exhaustion and when no cooperation at all was forthcoming from the person and when no gratitude of any kind was evident from that person’s behaviour…….it helped me to pull out of that particular situation/”friendship” but then I still kept exhausting myself and stressing myself out with other stuff for other people (notably, Superspath, who arrived on the scene just as I was disconnecting from this other person I had been helping for many months).

My guess is that MOST of us on here have travelled a similar path; doesn’t make you DUMB; just makes you – like US – a kind and caring person in need of an adjustment or two! I’d like to think that that’s what we are all helping each other to get here.

“my divorce is final and this is MY year to reconnect to my spirit. I am healing mind body and spirit this year. I had to go back into HELL to get my divorce and yes, it was rough b/c it meant getting sick again but now it is no longer hanging over me. HE can not take the fruits of my labor anymore. ”

This is EXACTLY how I feel about recently having won my case for property settlement. Short of his committing crimes against me, which I would obviously follow up in court, I don’t EVER have to see the bastard again for as long as I live. There are no more ties that bind and there is NOTHING left to sort out; we are DONE. Feels sooooooooooooo goooooooooooodddddddd!!!!!!!

“We shall see what we shall see. And that may not sound like much to others”. but to someone without HOPE? That is the whisper of POSSIBILITIES. OF HOPE!”

Again, my sentiments precisely. For the first time in YEARS, I am making PLANS for my future (let me just re-phrase that – MY future!) and I am excited!!! xx


This has provoked an interesting response in me.
Like Vivar, I too have concerns.
I would be happy to support a project as such…..but
A. I won’t give my CC to anyone these days…..especially with the promise of no charge (loss) if the project isn’t funded. Um…..they will still have my CC number.

B. I don’t trust many folks these days…….especially those with ‘credentials’…..and for that matter…..’no credentials’ even.

C. I’m not clear on why he’s going to the public to fund this project. Movie Makers have contacts…….funding contacts…..there are ways to fund projects like this…..why did he choose a public forum to aquire his funding?

I know several ‘high’ profile movie makers/producers……who just so happened to be scammed by Madoff and another ‘financial guy’……..lost LOADS……I’m sure they’d be interested in doing a project such as this…..since they have been affected and greatly scammed too! At very least listen to Alexanders ideas……and collaberate on some level.

D. Why is Alexanders FB page closed to comments and ‘likes’…..but his wall is up and accesable to all? This seems ‘odd’ to me and a red flag… way information….the authors only.

I am trying to find a balance in my mind between this info needing to get out to as many persons as will listen…….and trusting those putting it out.

I agree with Skylar……there is so much more which needs to be said. I didn’t like how they started with Psychopaths being related to serial killers or the ‘off the chart’ kinda Psychopath… took awhile to let us know it’s also the guy/woman next door. They showed the sensationalized pics…..madoff, OJ Simpson……but how about ‘us’…..the ‘regular’ persons…….they don’t all kill……how about approaching it with DV issues…..and how normal people don’t abuse….and address those issues….

I don’t know…..I wish there was an ‘easy’ trust….he’s ok button……and for now…..All I got is my gut….and it is screaming and I must listen to it.
I don’t know enough about Alexander to give anything……I’d love to support a project as such…….but there is just too little information and not enough facts and too many questions.
Just because HE was scammed…..doesn’t mean he’s not a scammer too~
Another ‘victim’ will certainly appreciate the questions…..and being questioned on intent.

I’d like more information. Alexander… me through Donna if you would like.

Wish there were a “like” button for Donna’s response, above, as it explains well the benefit of maintaining artistic control in making any film. In fact, colleagues and similar connections to whom Alexander might have access for soliciting funding may well be psychopaths themselves, or at least have their own agendas, not the least of which is to make a profit from any investment.

I’ve personally spoken with the filmmaker. While there is no guarantee that he or anyone else is on the up & up, if I do say so I’m usually a decent judge of character since I respect my gut, and my sense is that this guy’s genuine.

As for starting out the trailer with some sensationalism, that would be a way to attract an audience, without which this information won’t reach the public anyway. Even in his short promo film he does make the transition to everyday psychopaths so that viewers can get the important message that the majority live freely among us.

Alexander is hoping to make this into a series, so as I understand it, many aspects will be covered. Much of the focus of Lovefraud readers ”“ granted, not all ”“ is on sociopathy within personal relationships, which is one aspect, so the desire to emphasize that is understandable. However, psychopathy/sociopathy also impacts the workplace, neighborhoods, whole nations, and the world in a big way, not unworthy of focus in their own right.

Should this documentary become a success, it could well pave the way for more media to come that specifically highlights sociopathy, psychopathy, narcissism, et al, sorely needed to raise awareness and prevent the devastation that those afflicted inflict. So whatever isn’t included in it may be in someone else’s that could follow, perhaps even my own show someday.


Thanks Donna for the explanation.
That makes good sense and addresses one of my primary concerns : the infiltration of Alexander’s team by psychopaths. They have already begun to do this in many spath awareness groups. It’s easy for them, they know the schtik better than anyone. That’s why it’s so important for us to be able to see the spaths in our midst. They are usually pulling the pity ploy, they can’t seem to help themselves. The danger with these trojan horse spaths is that they seed disinformation. A tiny seed here and another one there. Soon people don’t know the red flags anymore.

I followed your link to your FB and from there clicked on Mrs Grimms Blog. Very nice, I liked it very much, it paints a great portrait of a spath. I particularly like this blog post:

The portrait of Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter is exactly the type of trojan horse I’m talking about. People consider you crazy for pointing at a woman like that and crying “Spath”. Yet, that is just another of their perfect masks. She doesn’t look like an irresponsible person. She doesn’t appear to be a sex addict with multiple lovers. She probably doesn’t borrow money all the time.

When I tell people who believe me that my ex is a spath, they all say, “that’s too bad, he seemed sooooo nice.” Exactly.

The spath as an emotional vampire is going to present what he needs to, to get up close and personal. Then the parasite will get under your skin and slime you.

“I followed your link to your FB and from there clicked on Mrs Grimms Blog. Very nice, I liked it very much, it paints a great portrait of a spath. I particularly like this blog post:


Mrs. Grimm does nail it, doesn’t she? The author is a good friend and published poet, wishing to remain anonymous on her blog for now. But it is the accuracy and style of her posts that draw me to read them when I might not have time to read so many others.


thanks for the links, I’ll be following Mrs. Grimms blogs from now on.


Yes….I understand about keeping ‘creative control’……but this is a documentary, essentially presenting facts about psychopothy……and if you found a financier who believed in the project enough to finance it…..I bet not a lot would need to be changed enough to have the producer feel he lost his creative control.
The movie bus is full of ego’s……..tantrum throwing creative folks……it’s mine, it’s mine…..I would think the producer would avoid working with someone as such by virtue of being victimized.

BTW…..I coulnd’t find anything about his experience with a spath? I’d be interested in hearing his story… would be helpful to know more about him.

Thanks for your response Donna.


I weighed in the pros and cons (pun intended) and decided to pledge 10$, for the same reasoning as Oxy gave.


THIS POEM IS PROUDLY BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE MAKERS OF “MRS GRIMM” (and the smallish and rather insignificant matter of round-about-kind-of-blog-theft by one Australian wench)

The Psychopaths’ Alphabet

A is for arrogance, they have it in spades
B is for bullying, bruises and blades

C is for cocksure (though often quite flaccid)
D is drugs ”“ crystal meth, cocaine, acid

E is for entitlement (because they’re worth it)
F is for fucking in public an’ shit

G is for gaslighting, sending us mad
H is for hoodwinking ”“ yes, we’ve been had

I is for impulsive, they cannot say no
J is for jealousy, the jail where we go

K is for kingliness, they rule all our lives
L is for lazy, they bunk off and skive

M is for manipulate, manage and mould
N is for negligent ”“ they just won’t be told

O is for outrageous, they flout every vow
P is for pushover stamped on our brow

Q is for querulous, quintessence of spite
R is for raging and never not right.

S is for shaming, they make us feel bad
T is for tyrannical ”“ well, yes, just a tad

U is for untruths they tell all the time
V is for vileness, the fruit on their vine

W is for wooing, then leave on the shelf
X is for xenophobes who love just themselves

Y is for you and I, free, living well
Z is for zapping them straight back to hell

Just found this on the “Breadcrumbs” blog mentioned above (Mrs Grimm)

It was too good not to share but I am worried I might not be allowed to do it this way? Wasn’t sure how else to do it – can anyone help me out here? I’ll remove it if I have done a naughty thing 🙂 but I really wanted everyone at LF to benefit from it.

What a clever funny person that “Mrs Grimm” is!!!



Just add the link to the source blog, and it’s ok… you’ve referenced it.

Mrs. Grimm’s Breadcrumbs are delicious, sometimes leaning more toward humorous and sometimes more toward poignancy.

From the moment I first read the blog post that Aussiegirl pasted above, I considered it a masterpiece.

sharing the journey


I too have my doubts about the project.

Normally I am a great fan of the Arts (son is an artist as well as brother) and I support enthusiastically.

But my ex spath H would say to me often before the big reveal, that he would be rich if he could only persuade everyone to donate a £1 to him.

My gut didn’t like what he said–but I put it down to some sort of ethical fantasy he had, like an entrepeneur. He was great at creating websites.

As it turned out–he was evil.

Who better to target than previous victims as well as getting a buzz from doing so. I don’t know–something got set off in me–red flag.

He just doesn’t seem ‘WOUNDED’ enough.

It just seems that if somewhere down the line a $1 gets taken from your account–you just wouldn’t bother about it-but it has made someone rich.


Mrs Grimm’s breadcrumbs looks good. Will definately look at it. Thanks.


New Beginning


It’s brought up a red flag for me too…..and a few more were added by the end of the second sentence into the clip. It may be my individualized red flag monitoring system but that’s enough for me.


New Beginning

Aussie, thank you for sharing the P alphabet and getting my day started with a chuckle! 🙂


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