Filmmaker Alexander Davidis has directed commercials for international advertising agencies and documentaries about historic race cars. Then he had an experience with a psychopath, and now wants to help tell the world that these predators live among us.
Davidis already started by interviewing some of the world’s leading researchers on psychopathy. To complete the project, he’s listed it on Kickstarter, which is the world’s largest funding platform for creative projects. He wants to raise at least $60,000.
Kickstarter is interesting. Anyone can be a backer, pledging as little as $1 on a credit card. In order for the money to be collected, the project must reach its entire goal by the deadline. If the project doesn’t reach the entire goal in pledges, none of the money is collected. In other words, the backers’ credit cards are only charged if enough money is raised for the project to go forward.
So, check out the trailer that Alexander Davidis has produced for the film. If you believe the project is important, you can become a backer.
Psychopathy—and why you need to know, on KickStarter.com.
One Part I found Valuable in Dr Salter’s book is where she is talking about the children of Chowchilla and how they were affected long term. I could completely relate. I remember sunny optimism like that when I was a child. When I was SO fortunate to get my career job, I healed and regained that optimism. But marriage to my husband was one assault and trauma after another….and there I am again, struggling to find a reason to do ANYTHING. WHAT is the POINT? Getting through the day was such a struggle. I say I looked into the abyss and I could have gone either way. But I cannot FORGET what it felt like, the great yawning NOTHING, emptiness. The awareness that there is NObody for me.
Well, my divorce is final and this is MY year to reconnect to my spirit. I am healing mind body and spirit this year. I had to go back into HELL to get my divorce and yes, it was rough b/c it meant getting sick again but now it is no longer hanging over me. HE can not take the fruits of my labor anymore. We shall see what we shall see. And that may not sound like much to others…. but to someone without HOPE? That is the whisper of POSSIBILITIES. OF HOPE!
What I did NOT like about Dr Salter’s book is she opened the knowledge of WHY I feel the way I do, but did not give ANY direction of what I can do to make it different. YES, people who suffer trauma have their whole life view change. HOW, in the face of all this LOGIC, do you change it back? Well, that is my task! Onwards and UPwards Mighty Mouse!
Katy
ps Oxy One ME TOO I do NOT want to have is my heat furnace from 1994 went out too. It will cost nearly $3000 to fix. And in my situation, I don’t have that kind of cash (taxes are due! insurance just paid! Those were nearly $4000!). Luckily I live where it has been warm and a little oil heater has been enough. DRATS.
Skylar,
Got it. Whatever schtick they use it involves some level of boundary violation, evidenced by soliciting an emotional response from the target. Done when this level of ‘intimacy’ (used in the general term) is inappropriate.
Soliciting our emotions so they can feed off of them, and benefit from our being off-center. Blech! I need that barf bag!
Katydid,
The way you describe your exspath has me seeing him as totally addicted to drama and creating a bunch of it. Your post describes the drama he created. By choosing others’ whose lives were full of drama, by gossiping, stirring the pot, and verbally abusing you just before others’ would enter the room. Then he would project his own weather patterns onto you, in front of other people, saying “give her a minute and she’ll change (kinda like the weather)”.
He sounds like a classic, with his Mr. in Control facade. Getting everyone else to act out so he can suck up all the emotional turmoil. And doing his damnedest to appear to have nothing to do with it.
That is not to say that you should have figured him out before you did, because it was ‘so obvious’. It never is obvious. They come in all flavors and colors. I just mean to say he sounds very classic, once you strip his lies away (that he is a very together, and emotionally stable man).
They are so filled with lies. Anywhoo, whatever our interpretations, glad you are away from him.
KatyDid, if either my heater or AC goes out (the AC is about the same age) I will have to replace both….they no longer make just one by itself, so it is like $7500 to replace both, so what I have decided to do is to put in an area stove (like the emergency one I am buying) that will heat the main part of the house, and will use electric space heaters for bathrooms, and a “window unit” AC that will be installed in the wall to cool the main part of the house which is all I cool now actually, because in this area the bedrooms can be cooled at night with a window fan, so $500 or so for the heater which I have to have any way for power outage emergencies, and $500 for the AC….and I am fixed. The stove should last 10 years and the AC 7-10 before it needs replacing and by then SURELY I will know if I dare spend any significant money on this house or if I am going to have to move somewhere else and need the money for a new place to live.
If I were to outlive my egg donor and can keep him in prison AND/OR broke, then I can put some money into this house to replace the heat/AC etc. and add storm windows etc. but you know, til then, I will just do what I have to do, the minimum to keep it habitable.
I have been reading as a reminder to myself that the emotional vampires never change. Thank you all. Oxy,you are so wise. and Slimone,”They are so filled with lies.” YES! They are all lies and I have learned that nothing that I have been taught in life really applies when dealing with a spath. You can not rationalize with them or reason and make sense of the lies and manipulation. You can’t see it while you are in it because you are dealing with the daily emotional chaos that is so normal for them and foreign to you. You are in survival mode. You try to gain their understanding and get through to them…beating the dead horse. So maddening and you become the crazy one.
Dear Truebeliever,
you said a mouth full there because you cannot get through to them, there is no way to reason with them….but you are NOT the crazy one. So hang in there!
Dearest Katydid –
“I am socially awkward so it’s EASY to pick wrong words. I have been told I need an editor! But decent people don’t pull that kind of carp either. Decent people ASK what you mean or think, they don’t TELL you what you think….The book was hard for me to read. Lots of sickening realizations of how I’ve been “had” in life and how easy it was to trap me. ”
I am so glad that you realise that decent people are patient and kind with those who may be socially awkward and/or difficult to understand at first. NEVER blame yourself for this, okay?
As far as your “sickening realisations” go and the ease with which you have been often trapped throughout your life – you are in good company there honey. It seems that many of us here – myself most definitely included! – have trotted along through our lives pretty much the same way until we unravelled after having been spathed. It’s the one thing about which I can actually feel grateful – the experience(s) has(have) taught me to set boundaries I would not have dreamed of setting prior to identifying the spaths in my life, especially since working out the Superspath I was most recently with.
Before them, I used to have a vague awareness that I would somehow need to learn to say the word “No”, but I still got such a buzz out of helping others that I rarely enforced it, or else did not stick at putting myself first for very long. Or else I would say no to some things but carry on doing other things for others when nothing or not much ever came back the other way to me. Not that I ever do nice things in order to be rewarded or to secure something in return – I don’t believe that would be right and it’s not the creed that I live by; but I DO remember a mental health counsellor with whom I was trying to book a friend in for a session many years ago, looking me straight in the eye and asking me why I was helping this person when there was CONTINUALLY nothing in it for me, when all I ever got in return was stress, grief and exhaustion and when no cooperation at all was forthcoming from the person and when no gratitude of any kind was evident from that person’s behaviour…….it helped me to pull out of that particular situation/”friendship” but then I still kept exhausting myself and stressing myself out with other stuff for other people (notably, Superspath, who arrived on the scene just as I was disconnecting from this other person I had been helping for many months).
My guess is that MOST of us on here have travelled a similar path; doesn’t make you DUMB; just makes you – like US – a kind and caring person in need of an adjustment or two! I’d like to think that that’s what we are all helping each other to get here.
“my divorce is final and this is MY year to reconnect to my spirit. I am healing mind body and spirit this year. I had to go back into HELL to get my divorce and yes, it was rough b/c it meant getting sick again but now it is no longer hanging over me. HE can not take the fruits of my labor anymore. ”
This is EXACTLY how I feel about recently having won my case for property settlement. Short of his committing crimes against me, which I would obviously follow up in court, I don’t EVER have to see the bastard again for as long as I live. There are no more ties that bind and there is NOTHING left to sort out; we are DONE. Feels sooooooooooooo goooooooooooodddddddd!!!!!!!
“We shall see what we shall see. And that may not sound like much to others”. but to someone without HOPE? That is the whisper of POSSIBILITIES. OF HOPE!”
Again, my sentiments precisely. For the first time in YEARS, I am making PLANS for my future (let me just re-phrase that – MY future!) and I am excited!!! xx
This has provoked an interesting response in me.
Like Vivar, I too have concerns.
I would be happy to support a project as such…..but
A. I won’t give my CC to anyone these days…..especially with the promise of no charge (loss) if the project isn’t funded. Um…..they will still have my CC number.
B. I don’t trust many folks these days…….especially those with ‘credentials’…..and for that matter…..’no credentials’ even.
C. I’m not clear on why he’s going to the public to fund this project. Movie Makers have contacts…….funding contacts…..there are ways to fund projects like this…..why did he choose a public forum to aquire his funding?
I know several ‘high’ profile movie makers/producers……who just so happened to be scammed by Madoff and another ‘financial guy’……..lost LOADS……I’m sure they’d be interested in doing a project such as this…..since they have been affected and greatly scammed too! At very least listen to Alexanders ideas……and collaberate on some level.
D. Why is Alexanders FB page closed to comments and ‘likes’…..but his wall is up and accesable to all? This seems ‘odd’ to me and a red flag…..one way information….the authors only.
I am trying to find a balance in my mind between this info needing to get out to as many persons as will listen…….and trusting those putting it out.
I agree with Skylar……there is so much more which needs to be said. I didn’t like how they started with Psychopaths being related to serial killers or the ‘off the chart’ kinda Psychopath…..it took awhile to let us know it’s also the guy/woman next door. They showed the sensationalized pics…..madoff, OJ Simpson……but how about ‘us’…..the ‘regular’ persons…….they don’t all kill……how about approaching it with DV issues…..and how normal people don’t abuse….and address those issues….
I don’t know…..I wish there was an ‘easy’ trust….he’s ok button……and for now…..All I got is my gut….and it is screaming and I must listen to it.
I don’t know enough about Alexander to give anything……I’d love to support a project as such…….but there is just too little information and not enough facts and too many questions.
Just because HE was scammed…..doesn’t mean he’s not a scammer too~
Another ‘victim’ will certainly appreciate the questions…..and being questioned on intent.
I’d like more information. Alexander…..contact me through Donna if you would like.
ErinBrock,
One reason why anyone would want to raise funds for a project through a vehicle like Kickstarter, rather than finding someone to finance it, is to maintain creative control.
In creative fields, whoever provides the money calls the shots. This is especially true in tv/movies. Movies are part of the entertainment industry. Most people who finance movies want to make money by entertaining people. A film about sociopaths is important, but not necessarily entertaining.
I actually experienced this problem when I participated in the “Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?” show. As the production was almost done, and the staff was doing final fact-checking with me, I realized that they had not included any mention at all of Lovefraud. It turned out that the Discovery Network’s policy was not to mention any website in TV shows but their own. So they were going to do this whole show about how I had fallen for a con man, without any mention of the fact that I launched Lovefraud and was helping thousands of people overcome similar situations.
I actually had to write letters to the president and head of production of the Investigation Discovery network to get them to at least mention Lovefraud in the show. I argued that journalistically, they were only telling half the story. Investigation Discovery did agree to include a mention of Lovefraud – which is why many people who saw the show found the website.
So, if funding for a project comes from a lot of people who make small contributions, the artist can tell the story that needs to be told, not just the story that the money men want.
Wish there were a “like” button for Donna’s response, above, as it explains well the benefit of maintaining artistic control in making any film. In fact, colleagues and similar connections to whom Alexander might have access for soliciting funding may well be psychopaths themselves, or at least have their own agendas, not the least of which is to make a profit from any investment.
I’ve personally spoken with the filmmaker. While there is no guarantee that he or anyone else is on the up & up, if I do say so I’m usually a decent judge of character since I respect my gut, and my sense is that this guy’s genuine.
As for starting out the trailer with some sensationalism, that would be a way to attract an audience, without which this information won’t reach the public anyway. Even in his short promo film he does make the transition to everyday psychopaths so that viewers can get the important message that the majority live freely among us.
Alexander is hoping to make this into a series, so as I understand it, many aspects will be covered. Much of the focus of Lovefraud readers ”“ granted, not all ”“ is on sociopathy within personal relationships, which is one aspect, so the desire to emphasize that is understandable. However, psychopathy/sociopathy also impacts the workplace, neighborhoods, whole nations, and the world in a big way, not unworthy of focus in their own right.
Should this documentary become a success, it could well pave the way for more media to come that specifically highlights sociopathy, psychopathy, narcissism, et al, sorely needed to raise awareness and prevent the devastation that those afflicted inflict. So whatever isn’t included in it may be in someone else’s that could follow, perhaps even my own show someday.
Thanks Donna for the explanation.
That makes good sense and addresses one of my primary concerns : the infiltration of Alexander’s team by psychopaths. They have already begun to do this in many spath awareness groups. It’s easy for them, they know the schtik better than anyone. That’s why it’s so important for us to be able to see the spaths in our midst. They are usually pulling the pity ploy, they can’t seem to help themselves. The danger with these trojan horse spaths is that they seed disinformation. A tiny seed here and another one there. Soon people don’t know the red flags anymore.
Portrait,
I followed your link to your FB and from there clicked on Mrs Grimms Blog. Very nice, I liked it very much, it paints a great portrait of a spath. I particularly like this blog post:
http://mrsgrimm.blogspot.com/2012_01_01_archive.html
The portrait of Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter is exactly the type of trojan horse I’m talking about. People consider you crazy for pointing at a woman like that and crying “Spath”. Yet, that is just another of their perfect masks. She doesn’t look like an irresponsible person. She doesn’t appear to be a sex addict with multiple lovers. She probably doesn’t borrow money all the time.
When I tell people who believe me that my ex is a spath, they all say, “that’s too bad, he seemed sooooo nice.” Exactly.
The spath as an emotional vampire is going to present what he needs to, to get up close and personal. Then the parasite will get under your skin and slime you.