A reader asked the following question this week:
Recently, I’ve started doing more research into sociopaths and have run into a condition with which I’m unfamiliar: dissociation. Do you know if sociopaths/psychopaths have been considered to have this disorder, or if it is part of what makes them who they are?
The term dissociation has two distinct meanings in psychology. These two uses of the same word do not necessarily reflect a similar process operating in each.
The first kind of dissociation is a response to stress, and peritraumatic dissociation (dissociation during a traumatic event) appears to be a risk factor for stress-related illness. Symptoms of this kind of dissociation include disturbed experience of reality related to time, memory and nearly every sensation. For example, during trauma, time may stand still and people report that things do not seem real. Male sex hormones or androgens (that women also have in lower levels) protect against this kind of dissociation. For a good but technical article about peritraumatic dissociation read, Symptoms of Dissociation in Humans Experiencing Acute, Uncontrollable Stress: A Prospective Investigation.
The second kind of dissociation relates to the observation that the mind is modular. That means we don’t use our entire brain circuitry all the time, and during different behavioral and emotional states, different circuits are activated. Testosterone is hypothesized to disrupt the connection between the cerebral cortex and the limbic system, and so enhances this kind of dissociation.
This increase in mind modularity has been related to sociopathy/psychopathy by some experts. In a previous blog I reviewed Psychopaths in Everyday Life, a book by Robert Rieber. There is a great quote from the book that relates to your question. It is,
The true psychopath compels the psychiatric observer to ask the perplexing and largely unanswered question: Why doesn’t that person have the common decency to go crazy?
So why don’t psychopaths have the common decency to go crazy? Dr. Rieber explains, “Since psychopaths act as if they were perfectly normal, i.e. sane, they must be skilled in a cunning manner to dissociate any real guilt that they should feel about their antisocial behavior.” He also says that since psychopaths dissociate, they don’t go crazy. He believes dissociation prevents them from experiencing guilt. He also says that many psychopaths do have some level of guilt they are dissociated from.
So there may be a connection between sociopathy/psychopathy and dissociation, but the connection depends on your definition of the word.
CA Mom, Your most welcome darling girl! I will keep on sending you white light and keep you in my prayers. I was lucky, my dad was distant,but he never sexually ,or physically or mentally abused me. He wasnt a hugger, but that generation werent. It wasnt till 1992, after my Mums death t 82, that I realised it had been SHE who kept me from getting close to my Dad. She married a father figure, and therefore I wasnt allowe to get close to HER ‘Daddy”.Sh e used to nag him constantly, and put him down. He never ever retaliated, but his silence only made her worse.I was sort of able to re-connect with him whem he was old. I am thankful, though, that he wasnt an abuser, and I now know he DID love me very much, but didnt show it.
I cant imagine how frightened you must have been. They are SICk SICK morons.You will probably find that HIS Dad treated him the same way,-“the sins of the Fathers—-Comfort that scared little girl, and place her in your Heart. You will have to re-parent her yourself! I know you can do it! Love, and Peace, Honey!!!Mama Gem.XX”
CA Mom, I think God, or your unconscious, or your spirit, is trying to protect you by not revealing bad memories. I wouldnt go there. You maybe couldnt handle the memories.A bit like ripping up a rosebud, to try to get to the heart, and you kill the flower. Let it unfold in its own time, and its own pace.PEACE. Love, Gem.XX
When I was in my 20’s I was diagnosed twice with BPD. But years later with other therapists, I was told that I was definitely not, and that it’s damaging for me to think I am. Can you see why I’m so confused and why I never know which therapists to trust? In my younger days, I acted out abandonment issues in a very pronounced way with all my boyfriends. I seem to have outgrown a lot of it now, but still battle with trust issues. I’m especially dealing with a few people at work that trigger my fight-or-flight response, which makes it hard to relax at work sometimes. I have enough cognitive skills to at least function well and be cheery and responsive there, but my guard is always up. Just like when I was a stripper, my guard was always up. Some people are just blatantly more trustworthy than others. Secretaries are notoriously catty and backstabbing. Sometimes working with them feels like navigating through a mine field. I also have a young supervisor who does not deal with people very well and gets defensive when challenged. I have to challenge her on something today, and I’m not looking forward to it. I would give anything to walk out on that job. Dealing with all the other personalities can be fun, but lately, it just seems to drain my energy. Speaking of…..off to work. I will try to check in later.
“Well Zen Do you feel that she sees you as a kindred spirit in the situation, and so can reveal her true colors to you?
Be very careful. Stay true to your convictions. Do not trust tis person. Only my perceptions.”
Kim I have cut off all contact with this person. And you’re right, looking back she attempted to use me. She is my b/f’s ex and consistently plays the ‘damsel in distress’. She totally exploits him and tried the same with me. She tried to say I was the ‘sister she never had’ and he was like ‘her brother’. On the surface she seems the sweetest thing but I began to see her manipulating us, playing us against one another. The problem is he doesn’t see it, he’s very kind and very empathetic and doesn’t believe she’s the fraud that she is.
I do have a couple of questions if someone would be so kind as to answer these:
1) Are there any physical manifestations of sociopath behavior i.e. mannerisms?
2) Is it common for sociopaths to ‘forget’ things repeatedly such as losing an item and cause everyone to drop everything to find the item/s OR purposefully leave items in someone’s car or home ?
Thanks
Zen, I can’t think of any physical mannerisms off hand, but leaving items in your home or car could be a psychopaths ticket back in. I’m sure normal people sometimes forget things, too though.
Zen:
I would say a big YES to queston #2.
I have seen that in a female psychopath, too.
I am not sure if it is intentional or not, but “forgetfulness” and leaving things at home or in the car is common in my brother’s wife, as well.
Of course, it upsets the situation and causes unnecessary stress, because someone always has to run back and get whatever was forgotten.
The more I think about it, most of it is probably done intentionally.
Or, they are too busy plotting their scams that they forget what is right in front of them.
To question #1, I have noticed that their eyes move very quickly when they don’t think anyone is looking at them.
They will scan a person up and down, from head to toe very quickly. They will also notice if you have something “new” in your house, I think because they keep close tabs on other people’s possessions…..things they may want to get their hands on in the future. Very observant individuals….they notice the tiniest things.
There is also something machine-like about the female psychopath I know. For example, every summer, she will stand in the kitchen for 3 days straight making homemade salsa using tomatoes from her garden out in the backyard….a garden my brother said “NO” to, because he did not want the yard dug up. Of course, she just went full speed ahead on the garden, completely oblivious to my brother’s objection. Anyway, she’ll stand in the kitchen for 3 days straight making this homemade salsa, when she already has a closet full of home made salsa from the previous year.
Maybe she’s planning for the day when the big bomb drops, I don’t know.
And then there was the phase about 4 years ago, when she spent all of her time in the basement painting these snowman figurines that she saw someone else selling at a Christmas market. She decided she could do that as well, and she spent all of her time for about 4 months straight painting these snowman figurines in the basement…..and they all look alike!!!!! So much for creativity. She tried to sell them, and they never sold.
So, now the basement is full of about 100 snowman figurines, all with the same face and enough homemade salsa to feed the homeless.
That’s what I mean when I say there is a “machine-like” quality.
kim & Rosa
thanks for your responses. The reason I asked re the physical manifestations, is that when this person looks at you she has the blankest look on her face. Not all the time cause she will laugh and smile at times but mostly there is this rather emotionless look on her face.
Regarding forgetting things. It’s not as if it’s occasional, it is constant! Things that she has forgotten over and over again, like her cell phone, her purse, her wallet, on and on. Making everyone drop everything or turning around the car to go back to locate the item/s. Another thing she does is leave items as I said and I think it’s purposeful. Once I was helping her move some thing OUT of my home and had the trunk of my car loaded. She removed the items and when I got home there were two small boxes still in my car. There is NO way she could’ve overlooked them.
It’s so strange.
“They will also notice if you have something “new” in your house, I think because they keep close tabs on other people’s possessions”..things they may want to get their hands on in the future. Very observant individuals”.they notice the tiniest things.”
Rosa ..in rereading your comment, it’s weird but she does the same thing, notices every detail even the tiniest and makes mention of it.
I’ve never know of her stealing or showing any anger or hostility. She’s a very bizarre person and extremely manipulative.
Something just didn’t ring true about this person. I thought it was jealousy or resentment or something but when another person noticed these things as well I saw that I wasn’t being hypercritical. I have her out of my life now, well sort of.
What always struck me as odd was that nearly everything in his place was a gift, or a “given ” to him in some form or another.
When he worked for furniture company – the owner gave him an expensive leather couch.
When he helped move a friend – he gave him one of his TVs – the biggest one on the market!
When one of his friends gf was moving – he came home with an antique dresser/drawer.
Every damn time I complimented something he was wearing – it was always ” thanks it came from this ex or that ex” scarves, gloves, tee shirts, etc..
The very last time I ever saw him, he said look at the watch I got, my boss gave it to me.
Even places he travelled were always because a friend invited him (company retreat – all expenses paid – all he had to do was show up )
He often offered to do odd jobs for friends and ultimately would get key to their homes – one was at the beach (his friend travels for work so he spent one summer going there every weekend )
They seem to have a knack for getting people to adore them, and think of them as someone who could use this or that — or are always people take them under their wing or they will be like ” by the way do you need that chair in youre storing in the garage — or ALWAYS getting someone to give them something or selling something on craigslist.
All of these things we may have experienced in our lives,but it was CONSTANT with him, he seemed to live/survive on others kindness…cant explain it…its done in such a way that they look innocent in the whole transaction but really they banked on alot of it happening anyway….