I just read the story about Melissa Jenkins, a popular teacher in Vermont, who went to help her neighbors, only to be brutally murdered as soon as she got out of her car. I am sick to my stomach. Not only because of the stupid, horrific crime, but because I believe the victim suspected something was wrong. The story in the Burlington Free Press begins: ST. JOHNSBURY When Melissa Jenkins answered the phone Sunday night, the couple who used to plow her driveway said they were stranded half a mile from her home. Their car had broken down on the remote country road, they said, and they needed her help. Before driving out to meet them, Jenkins called longtime friend and coworker Randy …
Sociopaths and double lives
Recently, a reporter was inquiring about people who live double lives. Why do they do it? Can they maintain double lives for a long time? What are the dangers? Like most of us at Lovefraud, I have some experience with this. My ex-husband, James Montgomery, cheated with at least six different women during our 2.5-year marriage. He had a child with one of the women. Ten days after I left him, he married the mother of the child, which was the second time he committed bigamy. And of course, he took a quarter-million dollars from me—spending much of the money entertaining these other women. Not everyone who lives a double life is a sociopath. Some people, like spies and undercover cops, are …
BOOK REVIEW: Cults In Our Midst
I recently finished reading Cults In Our Midst—The continuing fight against their hidden menace, by Dr. Margaret Thaler Singer. The book is not new—it was originally published in 1995, and the revised edition that I read was published in 2003. It is a comprehensive description of cults, which the author defines as: a group that forms around a person who claims he or she has a special mission or knowledge, which will be shared with those who turn over most of their decision making to the self-appointed leader. Before reading Cults In Our Midst, I'd read and watched TV programs about some cult leaders, and noticed the similarity between their behavior and the behavior of sociopaths. I dev …
Link between Facebook and narcissism
According to new research, people who score highly on the Narcissistic Personality Inventory questionnaire had more friends on Facebook, tagged themselves more often and updated their newsfeeds more regularly. Read Facebook's 'dark side': study finds link to socially aggressive narcissism, on Guardian.co.uk. Link sent by a Lovefraud reader. …
A sociopath claims, ‘We are the uniquely gifted’
Editor's note: A reader who identified himself as a sociopath recently posted this comment on the Lovefraud Blog, and sent it to me in an email. I am posting this piece because it provides a good description of how sociopaths view themselves, and explains why they are quite comfortable taking advantage of the rest of us. Be sure to read the question I asked him, and his response, at the end. We are uniquely gifted "Sociopath" is a misleading word: it implies a disorder, something wrong and unnatural with the person, and this couldn't be further from the truth. We, the people you refer to as sociopaths, have nothing wrong with us. We are instead, the uniquely gifted. Our gifts have been …
Self-centered, irresponsible young men
Here's another twist on dysfunctional personalities—today's young adult women are complaining that young adult men simply don't want to grow up. Read this fascinating article in Philadelphia Magazine: The sorry lives and confusing times of today's young men They don't have jobs. They're dropping out of college. They play video games all day and watch porn all night. Even their sperm counts are low. Why won't guys grow up? …
Intervention for troubled toddlers
Charlie Taylor, expert advisor to the British government on behavior, has suggested that nursery schools identify toddlers showing early signs of aggression so that they can receive specialist intervention. The Daily Mail reported: Taylor said nurseries should be able to spot children with behavioural issues and recommend them for specialist tuition to provide them with boundaries and social skills. Mr Taylor said: 'Any child can go off the rails for a bit and what we need is a system that is responsive to them and helps them to get back on the straight and narrow.' He said it was easier to tackle poor behaviour among young children because habits were less ingrained. ”˜If you ca …
Getting picky about the definition of psychopathy
After reading about the book, The Psychopath Test, Kayt Sukel, a Psychology Today blogger, wondered if psychopaths were, in fact, everywhere. So she asked Joshua Buckholtz, a neuroscientist. He said that psychopathy needed to have meaningful diagnostic boundaries. Buckholtz told her "a true psychopath is going to show high aggression, low empathy and high narcissism in all contexts." I wondered about that description. Here at Lovefraud, we know that psychopaths are capable of faking love and concern, quite convincingly, when it suits their purpose. How does the expert account for that? Read Psychopaths everywhere? on PsychologyToday.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
The brain of a narcissist
A researcher conducts a study that reveals just how much narcissists focus on themselves. Read: The definitive fMRI test for narcissism, on PsychologyToday.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
Does anything work in getting a victim away from a sociopath?
Since Lovefraud launched in 2005, I've collected 2,850 cases—people who have contacted me to tell me about their experiences with a sociopath. In nearly 100 of these cases—3.4%—the person who contacted me was not actually the victim, but was a friend or family member who was trying to pry the victim away from the sociopath. For example, here's an email that Lovefraud recently received: I have a sister-in-law who is dating a married man, who claims he will be getting a divorce, which is still yet to happen. Now she's pregnant with his kid so things are more serious. They were supposed to move out together a couple months ago, but when the day came he disappeared, then a couple weeks later s …
Does anything work in getting a victim away from a sociopath?Read More