Millions of sociopaths live among us, and a significant proportion of them are women. Unfortunately, many Lovefraud readers have learned about female sociopaths the hard way. Over the past few years, I’ve exchanged emails with a Lovefraud reader whom we’ll call “Steve22.” Steve22 has been involved with a woman for about 20 years. Slowly, over the last 10 years, he figured out what was wrong with her: She has a serious personality disorder. She exploits and manipulates others — particularly him. Luckily, Steve22 never married the woman, and now he is planning his exit strategy. He will soon retire, and he’ll leave not only his job, but also the female sociopath. They do share a house, and sh …
How sociopaths become expert manipulators
Sociopaths, when we first meet them, typically seem charming, friendly and exciting. Later, after we’ve been exploited, we realize that we were targeted by a professional who deceived and manipulated us. But how did the sociopath become an expert exploiter? How do sociopaths know exactly what to say and what buttons to push? For example, Lovefraud received the following email from a reader: HOW do sociopaths KNOW what to do or how to act or what tactics to use to get what they want? They use tactics such as intermittent reinforcement or hijack our human bonding system, but they do not have degrees in psychology, nor do they consciously understand (I assume) that this is what they are d …
Sociopaths in long-distance relationships: 7 reasons why it’s hard to spot them
Today, if you’re looking for romance, you aren’t limited to searching your local community. With online dating apps, texting and video calls like Facetime, Skype and Zoom, you can meet and stay in contact with potential partners in distant cities, states and countries. It may seem like you have worldwide romantic possibilities — but you also need to be on the lookout for sociopaths in long-distance relationships. Quite frankly, long-distance relationships are dangerous. Sociopaths can be difficult to recognize when you’re around them every day. If you only see them in real life intermittently — well, they can run their scams and manipulations almost indefinitely and you may never know it. H …
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Doing business and working with Senior Sociopaths
Some senior sociopaths are in jail and many are parasites, living off of a partner or family member. But millions of senior sociopaths are in the workplace, causing havoc with co-workers, customers and sometimes bringing down the company (think Bernie Madoff). If you’re working with senior sociopaths in any context, watch your back. My new book, Senior Sociopaths — How to Recognize and Escape Lifelong Abusers, is now available here on Lovefraud and on Amazon. It’s based on surveys that I conducted with Lovefraud readers. Most survey respondents described romantic partners or family members, but 62 described a work colleague or business associate. It was not a pleasant exper …
Senior Sociopaths: Antisocial behavior and abuse until they die
My new book, Senior Sociopaths — How to Recognize and Escape Lifelong Abusers, is now available in the Lovefraud store and on Amazon. Here’s the book's take-home message: Senior sociopaths engage in antisocial behavior and abuse until they die. I wrote the book because I married a con man, James Alwyn Montgomery of Australia. He swindled my money, cheated with at least six women, had a child with one of them during our marriage, and 10 days after I left him, married her. It was the second time he committed bigamy. Montgomery's behavior made no sense to me — until I learned that he was a sociopath. That’s why I founded Lovefraud — to warn other people about the sociopaths living among us. …
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Senior sociopaths in the family create havoc forever
We’re all born into families. Most of us interact with our families throughout our lifetimes. When there are senior sociopaths in the family, it means a lifetime of manipulation, triangulation and havoc. My upcoming book, Senior Sociopaths — How to Recognize and Escape Lifelong Abusers, is based on information I collected from surveys of nearly 2,400 Lovefraud readers. I asked them to describe their experiences with someone age 50 or older whom they believed was a sociopath. The respondents could write about anyone they wanted, and 153 described disordered siblings, grandparents, family members and in-laws. All the relationships were abusive. It was just a matter of how abusive. One woman …
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Male and female senior sociopaths — still nasty after 50
Both men and women can be sociopaths. As they get older, both male and female sociopaths continue to be destructive to the people around them. Here’s what one woman in the Lovefraud Senior Sociopath Survey wrote about her disordered ex-husband: "His narcissistic behavior pattern became intensified. He was cruel, a pathological liar, never apologized, projection, triangulation and gaslighting. He got much worse as I started emotionally disengaging." Here’s how another woman described her disordered mother: "Nothing ever changed. She exploits, lies, throws tantrums, rages, abandons, pouts, defames, threatens, and would still be physically violent if she had the physical strength." It’s cri …
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Senior Sociopaths as parents: manipulating their kids while young and as adults
Sociopaths do not authentically love anyone, including their own children. My new book, Senior Sociopaths — How to Recognize and Escape Lifelong Abusers, includes a chapter specifically on senior sociopaths as parents. I think it’s the most important chapter in the book. I surveyed Lovefraud readers about people they knew who were age 50 or older and whom they believed were sociopaths. A total of 2,120 people responded to the survey, including 357 who wrote about their disordered parents or stepparents. I also asked all survey respondents if they were familiar with the individual’s behavior as a parent; 1,260 respondents said yes. So I have a wealth of data about the parenting behavior …
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Book Review: Divorcing Your Narcissist
Divorcing Your Narcissist: You Can’t Make This Shit Up!, by Tracy A. Malone Review by Donna Andersen Marriage to a sociopath or narcissist is really bad, which is why I think most people who find themselves in this situation should divorce. Unfortunately, divorcing your narcissist can be worse than the marriage, at least while you’re going through it. Luckily, narcissists who are divorcing tend to use all the same tactics and scams. In her book, Divorcing Your Narcissist: You Can’t Make This Shit Up!, Tracy Malone reveals the typical dirty tricks they employ as they try to gain the advantage over you. If you’re divorcing a narcissist, read the book. Forewarned is forearmed. Here’s how Tra …
Married to a senior sociopath: It never gets any better
Editor’s note: My new book, “Senior Sociopaths — How to Recognize and Escape Lifelong Abusers,” goes on sale May 17. I’m posting a series of articles to preview the book. Today’s topic: “Married to a senior sociopath.” No one intentionally marries a sociopath. We marry someone who seems to be loving, caring and shares our interests and values. It’s only later — sometimes many years later — that we realize the person we thought we married doesn’t exist. My book, Senior Sociopaths, is based on surveys that I did with Lovefraud readers in which I asked them to describe their experiences with people who were age 50 or older and whom they believed were sociopaths. Of the 2,120 people respond …
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