How to Do the Inner Work: A guide to self-discovery, empowerment, and emotional healing, by Susanne Madsen Review by Donna Andersen The key to recovery from the sociopath is healing your heart. I’ve said this many times in my blog articles, videos and to my coaching clients. But how do you do it? A new book by Susanne Madsen, How to Do the Inner Work, is a clear, concise guidebook for exactly that. Sociopaths are evil. They create havoc in our lives. Their behavior is criminal, or it should be. And they often get away with their bad behavior with little to no consequences. We do our best to fight them, or at least save ourselves. In the end, we usually need to come to terms w …
Your split brain: Why you still love the abuser
Perhaps you’ve had the following experience: Your new beau showered you with so much attention and affection that you fell in love. Then, slowly or quickly, your partner became deceitful, mean, disparaging and maybe even violent. You were shocked, angry and heartbroken, so you distanced yourself. But after a while, your memory of the bad behavior faded, and you just thought of the good times. You still love the abuser and want to reunite. How is this possible? When your romantic partner lies, cheats, betrays, exploits or abuses you, how can you ever forget that, and why would you return for more? The explanation is rooted in biology. Dr. Liane Leedom, a psychiatrist and professor …
More evidence that psychopaths do not ‘burn out’
For years, the conventional wisdom in the mental health field was that psychopaths “burn out,” or engage in less antisocial behavior, after age 40. This is stated as fact in multiple psychiatry textbooks. But my research, published in a peer-reviewed journal in 2022, indicates psychopaths do not burn out. A new scientific paper validates my conclusions. Why should you care? Because if you’re dealing with someone who has psychopathic traits, chances are slim to none that this person will change for the better. If you’re seeing lies, manipulation, cruelty and abuse, it will continue. If he or she is taking advantage of you or others, that will also continue. Now, maybe you think tha …
Red Flags of Love Fraud #3: Sexual magnetism
Great sex. Many people who have slept with a sociopath say it was the best sex they ever had. I surveyed Lovefraud readers for my book, Red Flags of Love Fraud – 10 signs you’re dating a sociopath, and 78 percent said "sexual magnetism" was characteristic of their relationship. Why is that? First of all, sociopaths are hard-wired for sex. Secondly, sociopaths are frequently good lovers. Rating sex with sociopaths People who have had sex with sociopaths almost always rave about it. "Swept off my feet by the most intense sexual experience," wrote one respondent to the Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey. The sentiment was echoed over and over again. I asked, "If you had sex wi …
The hard truth: Evil sociopaths exist
Our society rarely talks about evil. There’s little discussion of morality, and even less of its opposite — wickedness. As a result, we don’t know that evil sociopaths exist, so we don’t know to protect ourselves from them. I can’t tell you how many times people told me, while relating their awful stories of being deceived and betrayed, “I didn’t know people like this existed.” They do. So why is there no discussion? Why don’t we know about evil sociopaths? I can think of two reasons, one related to cultural change, and the other to confusion about terminology. Cultural change When I first started my career in the early 1980s, the term “politically correct” came into vogue. The …
3 reasons why you encounter a sociopath later in life
Perhaps you’re in your 40s, 50s or 60s — and you have just come to the shocking realization that you have a sociopath in your life. Maybe even multiple sociopaths. So you wonder — why did you encounter a sociopath later in life? I have three answers for this question. One is about awareness, another is about life stages and the last is about healing purpose. Awareness of sociopaths I am willing to bet that sociopaths were always in your life — you just didn’t know it. By sociopaths, I mean people who could be diagnosed with antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, histrionic or psychopathic personality disorder. (The original definition of “sociopath” was “anything deviated or …
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Why do sociopaths intentionally provoke you?
Your sociopathic partner picks, picks, picks at you. “You’re a lousy mother and the kids hate you,” he says. “You’re so stupid that you’re lucky you don’t get fired,” she says. The nasty comments keep coming. You’re upset but try not to say anything — until you can’t contain your emotions anymore and you explode. Then the sociopath smiles. Why do sociopaths intentionally provoke you? The key to understanding this behavior is knowing what sociopaths truly want in life — power and control. Everything else is secondary. Social motivation Dr. Liane Leedom, a psychiatrist and Lovefraud author, believes that the sociopath’s out-of-control drive for dominance is the motivating forc …
Listen to Donna Andersen on KSCO radio
What is a sociopath? What are the warning signs? How can you avoid them? I talked about all things sociopath on The Nighthawk Resurrected radio show on KSCO AM 1080 in Santa Cruz, California. The hosts, Ginni and Kelly Powers, asked lots of great questions about Lovefraud, sociopaths, and how they impact society. It was a long interview on March 25, 2025, and as usual, I had plenty to say. You can listen here: Donna Andersen interview on KSCO AM 1080 …
Red Flags of Love Fraud #2: Sudden soul mates
When sociopaths target you for romantic exploitation, it seems that their favorite term of endearment is "soul mate." That’s why “Sudden soul mates” is the second warning sign in my book, Red Flags of Love Fraud — 10 signs you’re dating a sociopath. When they’ve set their eyes on you, sociopaths gush about finding the man or woman of their dreams, the person they've wanted all their lives. They liberally talk about destiny, how the relationship was meant to be. If you, the target, are religious, sociopaths smoothly proclaim that God has brought you together. My book is based upon the 1,352 responses that I received for my Lovefraud Romantic Partner Survey. Asked to describe the so …
Intuition and the purpose of the sociopath
When I realized that the man I married was a sociopath, and our entire marriage was a scam, I was shocked. I didn’t deserve it. I was a good and honest person. Why did this happen to me? Today I’m going to propose that there may be an unexpected answer to the question. I’m going to talk about intuition and the purpose of the sociopath. Here’s my proposition, which you may find surprising at first, but stick with me: Our awful entanglements with sociopaths often have a larger purpose, and that’s our personal spiritual growth. This is an extremely difficult concept, especially when we believe in a benevolent God, universe, or higher power—whatever term you want to use—who only wants the b …