For many of us, when we finally disengage from the sociopath, our lives are in shambles. We aren't just trying to recover from a broken heart due to the sociopath's unconscionable betrayal. We may also need to recover from financial devastation, ruined relationships with family and friends, lost jobs, lost businesses, lost homes, stress-related illness and the aftershocks of psychological manipulation. No wonder we feel like zombies. Where do we start? How do we rebuild our lives? In the beginning, our focus is rightfully on crisis management. We make sure we have shelter, food, financial support. We must find solutions for the basic issues of survival. Eventually, the crisis …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My involvement with a female sociopath
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader in the United Kingdom whom we'll call "Edward." There seems to be a lot of stories regarding male sociopaths, so I thought I would share some insight from my own life story thus far. I met T about 10 years ago. It wasn't love at first sight, but I quite liked her. I guess I fell for my own rescuing mentality (since noticed and dealt with), and made a bid for her affections. I let my guard down, as one who would wish to be loved has a need too, so the other can see some more of me. There were many times during this period where I should have walked away from T, but I thought I loved her and hoped that by being a good, …
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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: People like him don’t change
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader whom we'll call "Ethel." I too married a Sociopath although it took way to long for me to see through the lies ”¦ I found out he had been cheating with numerous women ”¦ One day as he kept hanging up on me, I dialed his cell repeatedly in anger. As I kept pushing the #'s, miraculously, for some reason, his voicemail started to play and a woman's voice was saying what time he should pick her up, what restaurant reservations were made ”¦ Well, confused at who it may be, I never said anything, but continued to check the messages daily. The messages seemed a little like business but I went with my gut and went online to ch …
Why being lied to is worse than being the liar
Psychiatrist Anna Fels explains why people who have been lied to over a long period of time find it difficult to recover. Great Betrayals, on NYTimes.com. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
The journey from pain to peace
The Lovefraud reader "Kataroux" has been struggling with the profound betrayal she endured at the hands of a charming young sociopath who turned out to be nothing more than a parasite. She told her entire story in the post from September 25, 2013, entitled How I was duped by a young sociopath and believed all his lies until now! On October 4, Kataroux posted the following comment on Lovefraud: As I sit here tonight I find myself wondering how I ever let something like this happen to me and yet I know the answer. I just buried my husband and wanted to feel loved again and Spath jumped in with promises of a wonderful future and I bent over backwards to give him just that. Notice I said …
Dr. Robert Hare compares psychopathic traits to corporations
Dr. Robert Hare developed the Psychopathy Checklist Revised (PCL-R), which is the usually instrument used by researchers to evaluate a person's level of disorder. In this video, he explains the traits of a psychopath, and compares them to corporate behaviors. …
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Tools to predict if psychopaths will re-offend are only 46.7% accurate, study says
A new study in the British Journal of Psychiatry found that psychological assessment tools were about as effective as flipping a coin in predicting whether disordered individuals will re-offend after being released from prison. Predicting violence among psychopaths is no more than chance, on Phsy.org. Predicting future violence among individuals with psychopathy, on PJP.RCPsych.org. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …
Tools to predict if psychopaths will re-offend are only 46.7% accurate, study saysRead More
The cardboard cutout sociopath
My sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, considered himself to be an entrepreneur, the equal of any man who ever built a commercial empire. As he was seducing me, painting a glimmering picture of how successful and rich we would become, he proclaimed that he would be "the next Walt Disney." When Montgomery went to business meetings, he wore a jacket, trousers, and a polo shirt. He refused to wear ties, but he always had a silk square in his jacket pocket. He told me that even when he was young, he always dressed up in jackets and cravats, eschewing the psychedelic fashions of the 60s. So you can imagine my surprise when I heard that he'd been spotted at a train station in Katoomba, …
Psychopaths’ brains react to pain in themselves, but not others
Researchers studied the brains of 121 prison inmates who were categorized as weakly, moderately or highly psychopathic. While in an fMRI brain imaging machine, the inmates were shown photos of someone experiencing physical pain, for example, a finger caught in a door. Asked to imagine it was their finger, the psychopaths' brains showed typical neural responses. But asked to imagine it was another person's finger, the psychopathic brains did not register a pain response. They showed a pleasure response. Neurological basis for lack of empathy in psychopaths, on ScienceDaily.com. Here's another similar study: Psychopaths are not neurally equipped to have concern for others, on …
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Donna Andersen presents to Student Assistance Professionals
Yesterday I had the opportunity to talk about sociopaths to the Association of Student Assistance Professionals for the Southern Region of New Jersey. These are the student assistance coordinators who work in the public schools in New Jersey's seven southern counties. I had enough time to essentially give them two presentations, which was terrific: Love Fraud and How to Avoid It is my program for high school and college students. Sociopathy Awareness for Staff and Counselors provided more in-depth information that professionals should know. The presentation for students explains what a sociopath is, the Red Flags of Love Fraud, how people become addicted to relationships, the dangers of …
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