How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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The long criminal history of John R. Sperry, formerly John R. Gorbich

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Sometime between 1966 and 1969, according to Stacey Jaccodie, John R. Gorbich of Neptune, New Jersey, changed his name to John R. Sperry. Gorbich had plenty of reason to want a new name. He was arrested in 1956 for stealing parts from his employer, the Monmouth Radio Supply Company in New Shrewsbury, New Jersey. Gorbich was 30 years old at the time, and claimed to be a disabled veteran. The value of the stolen parts including boxes of television tubes was approximately $70,000, which was a lot of money in 1956. The Asbury Park Evening Press wrote: Gorbich said he sold the tubes for $30 a box, about a third of their value, said the prosecutor. He was quoted as saying he spent the money …

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Dealing with sociopaths: Fight or flight?

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Sociopaths are social predators who live their lives by exploiting people. When you're the person who has been exploited, how should you respond? Do you try to hold the sociopath accountable? Or do you cut your losses and walk away? Lovefraud is an open forum, with many people expressing opinions about what you should do. In the past, some folks have posted comments saying give up, run away, don't fight, you can't win. I don't necessarily agree with that. Yes, in some cases, fleeing is the best course of action. But sometimes the only way to survive is to fight. Or sometimes standing up to the sociopath enables you to reclaim yourself, even if you don't win the battle. I believe you …

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Talking openly about domestic violence

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Leslie Morgan Steiner wrote the book Crazy Love about being involved with a man who routinely abused her. In this TED talk from last year, she describes how she was drawn into the relationship, and why she didn't leave. Leslie Morgan Steiner: Why domestic violence victims don't leave, on Ted.com. October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.   …

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FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin on psychopathy

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In July 2012, the FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin focused on the topic of psychopathy. The publication provides an overview of  what law enforcement officials should know about psychopaths as criminals. Lovefraud readers will also find the information helpful. Topics include: Psychopathy: An important forensic concept for the 21st century Perspective: The predator when the stalker is a psychopath Looking behind the mask: Implications for interviewing psychopaths Case study: No more bagpipes the threat of the psychopath The language of psychopaths: New findings and implications for law enforcement  FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin on Psychopathy, on FBI.gov …

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People who enjoy inflicting pain and suffering

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Dr. Delroy L. Paulhus and his colleagues ran experiments to study "everyday sadists" people who enjoy inflicting pain on others. According to this article in the New York Times, "Psychopaths want to get things from people and don't care about hurting them to do so," Paulhus said. "Sadists look for opportunities to hurt people, and prolong it for their own pleasure." 'Everyday sadists' among us, on NYTimes.com.   …

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Recovery from the sociopath: Remember to live

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For many of us, when we finally disengage from the sociopath, our lives are in shambles. We aren't just trying to recover from a broken heart due to the sociopath's unconscionable betrayal. We may also need to recover from financial devastation, ruined relationships with family and friends, lost jobs, lost businesses, lost homes, stress-related illness and the aftershocks of psychological manipulation. No wonder we feel like zombies. Where do we start? How do we rebuild our lives? In the beginning, our focus is rightfully on crisis management. We make sure we have shelter, food, financial support. We must find solutions for the basic issues of survival. Eventually, the crisis …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My involvement with a female sociopath

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader in the United Kingdom whom we'll call "Edward." There seems to be a lot of stories regarding male sociopaths, so I thought I would share some insight from my own life story thus far. I met T about 10 years ago. It wasn't love at first sight, but I quite liked her. I guess I fell for my own rescuing mentality (since noticed and dealt with), and made a bid for her affections. I let my guard down, as one who would wish to be loved has a need too, so the other can see some more of me. There were many times during this period where I should have walked away from T, but I thought I loved her and hoped that by being a good, …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: People like him don’t change

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader whom we'll call "Ethel." I too married a Sociopath although it took way to long for me to see through the lies ”¦ I found out he had been cheating with numerous women ”¦ One day as he kept hanging up on me, I dialed his cell repeatedly in anger. As I kept pushing the #'s, miraculously, for some reason, his voicemail started to play and a woman's voice was saying what time he should pick her up, what restaurant reservations were made ”¦ Well, confused at who it may be, I never said anything, but continued to check the messages daily. The messages seemed a little like business but I went with my gut and went online to ch …

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The journey from pain to peace

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The Lovefraud reader "Kataroux" has been struggling with the profound betrayal she endured at the hands of a charming young sociopath who turned out to be nothing more than a parasite. She told her entire story in the post from September 25, 2013, entitled How I was duped by a young sociopath and believed all his lies until now! On October 4, Kataroux posted the following comment on Lovefraud: As I sit here tonight I find myself wondering how I ever let something like this happen to me and yet I know the answer. I just buried my husband and wanted to feel loved again and Spath jumped in with promises of a wonderful future and I bent over backwards to give him just that. Notice I said …

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