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How, as a child, I was groomed to be a people pleaser

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By Eleanor Cowan “Shut your big mouth and buzz off!” my mother exploded at me as she slammed a boiling hot cloth against my brother’s face – her cure for his chronic swollen acne. “Do you know how much money your pimple treatment costs this family?” screamed mother. Pressing on another steaming square, she ignored Gordie’s pitiful cries. Slightly taller than my mother, my brother’s strong-muscled arms trembled at each side as tears streamed down his face. A capable teenager, he could have landed her on the kitchen floor in an instant. Or, he could have run. But Gordie knew the drill. The Fourth Commandment. "Honor your Father and Your Mother." He knew what would happen if he disrespected …

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From Moon to Earth — recognizing that my experience was actually abuse

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Editor's note: Please welcome a new contributor to Lovefraud.com — Eleanor Cowan, author of "A History of a Pedophile's Wife."  Born in 1948, the same year women first voted in Quebec, she began her life odyssey with a lovely home, good food, some affection, and soon, the company of nine siblings. These are the details she relied upon, not the nights of sexual abuse, the constant criticism of her mother, nor the religious oppression in her strict family. With the alcoholism of her mother and the chronic absence of her Dad, life slid downhill fast. She became a devout Catholic, an anxious people pleaser  — and a complete stranger to herself. Three drug-rapes into her 20's, she decided to er …

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