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Author Archive: Eleanor Cowan

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Her daughter’s wedding should be a time of joy, but her ex is causing havoc

Her daughter’s wedding should be a time of joy, but her ex is causing havoc

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from the reader who posts as “Elle.”

In 2014, my youngest daughter and I got a restraining order against my husband at the time due to violent rages and terrifying behavior he was exhibiting. Of course he would profess to our older 2 daughters he did nothing and we were lying … this is a man who NEVER took any responsibility for his behavior and was then and still is a pathological liar.

Letter to Lovefraud: I’m looking on POF, but I’m scared to move forward

Letter to Lovefraud: I’m looking on POF, but I’m scared to move forward

A Lovefraud reader found this ad on POF.

Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who gives her pseudonym as “Erica.”

I’ve been in love with a sociopath for 5 and a half years. He lives in Portland and I live here in Vegas so that has been a great thing, however he still haunts me and I’m trying to move on so I’m enclosing a profile from an online dating site and I’d like to get your opinion of the things that he says. I’m scared to move forward because I’m scared that I’ll attract another one. I seem to be surrounded by narcissism and sociopathy and I’m tired and I’m scared and I lack trust to move forward. Donna please share my email on lovefraud.com so that I can get some feedback from other members.

 
Annapolis shooter Jarrod Ramos—something’s wrong, but he may not be a sociopath

Annapolis shooter Jarrod Ramos—something’s wrong, but he may not be a sociopath

Jarrod W. Ramos (Anne Arundel Police)

On Thursday, Jarrod W. Ramos, 38, burst into the offices of the Capital Gazette newspaper in Annapolis, Maryland and shot five employees dead.

This tragic situation began as a stalking case. Here are the details: In 2009, Ramos found a former high school classmate on Facebook. The woman didn’t remember Ramos, but Googled him, discovered they were, in fact, classmates, and she was cordial to him. Ramos escalated, began stalking her, and the woman finally pressed charges. Ramos pleaded guilty to criminal harassment and received 90-day suspended sentence and 18 months of probation.

10 translations of what sociopaths mean by ‘I love you’

10 translations of what sociopaths mean by ‘I love you’

Authentic affection or a sociopath?Most sociopaths are really good at proclaiming their love. They often say the words “I love you” so quickly that it surprises us how can they already feel that way? We just met!

When we question them, they respond, “You’re the one I’ve been waiting for all my life,” or, “I just know that we’re perfect for each other,” or something equally endearing.

We want to believe them, so we do. They keep pouring it on, until we fall in love with them. The big problem, however, is that our love is real and theirs is fake.

 
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Since this experience, I’ve been afraid to love again

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Since this experience, I’ve been afraid to love again

Editor’s note: The following letter was sent by a Lovefraud reader whom we’ll call “Shania.” Names have been changed. My comments are at the end of the letter.

I’m a 20-year-old girl and I had an experience with a sociopath, or so I think he was one. This traumatic experience actually gave me post-traumatic stress disorder.

A few years ago, in my senior year of high school, I started to talk to this boy in my class named Mark. Everyone loved him; he was the most popular guy in my school. He was really good at talking to people, had the charm, very funny, always knew what to say.

Quora: What’s it like for a sociopath to meet another sociopath?

Quora: What’s it like for a sociopath to meet another sociopath?

The following question was posed on Quora: “What’s it like for a sociopath to meet another sociopath?”

The woman who asked the question included commentary about sociopaths, some of which I disagree with. For example, she said, “Sometimes you see even the most terrifying sociopaths get out of prison and go on to have their own children who they do not mistreat, and actually like.” Actually, sociopaths are incapable of loving anyone, including their children, so even if they don’t beat their kids, they’ll probably inflict psychological and emotional abuse.

Explaining love addiction with a sociopath

According to Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, romantic love is an addiction. The drive to find a romantic partner is buried deep in the brain, and biologically intertwined with the brain’s reward system, which is linked to wanting, motivation, focus and craving. To hear Dr. Fisher explain this, watch the video.

Dr. Fisher points out that when you love someone and are rejected, the addiction is worse. Not only do you continue to feel the intense romantic love, but you love your beau even more. Your love becomes an obsession. It turns out that the brain system associated with rewards becomes even more active when you can’t get what you want.

Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, to host free call in support group Sunday 7/1/18 at 5 pm EST

Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, to host free call in support group Sunday 7/1/18 at 5 pm EST

  Experience the support of people who know!  Join our free support group Sunday, July 1, 2018 at 5 pm EST.  Go to  www.destructiverelationshipshelp.com and use the Contact Form at the bottom of the home page to state your interest in joining.  Do this every time even if you have joined us before!  We will reply to you with instructions to join the conference call.  It is anonymous and no personal information is displayed or shared.

Share your struggles, questions, get feedback and clarity from people who get it!  Hope to meet you there!

Posted in: Uncategorized

Gary Lindsey, with a history of domestic violence, killed four children and himself

Gary Wayne Lindsey Jr., 35, of Orlando, Florida, beat and threatened his girlfriend — again. On June 12, 2018, he followed through, shooting and critically injuring a cop, killing four children, and then killing himself.

Ciara Lopez, 31, mother of the four children, fled her apartment and ran to a convenience store to call 911. “I don’t want to leave them alone there for too long because he might do something,” she said.

Police arrived, and there was a 23-hour standoff. The end was tragic.

Posted in: Media sociopaths
Translating a sociopath’s text message as he attempts to hoover back his ex-wife

Translating a sociopath’s text message as he attempts to hoover back his ex-wife

Editor’s note: The following article was sent to Lovefraud by a reader whom we’ll call “Maura.”

My friend Annie was sent this text from her sociopathic ex. Three and half years ago, he abandoned her and their sons after a 17-year marriage. No doubt other readers have had similar hoover texts, and either ignored them or fell for them.

For entertainment and education purposes, we’ve analysed his standard manipulative ploys and use of charm to break down her defences and weasel his foot in the door. On the surface his text seems contrite and genuine enough. However, he is a sociopath who will do and say anything to lure her back in. The bottom line — it is all a con and he wants to exert control and hurt her further. He cannot change and any attempt to change will be very short lived.

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