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Author Archive: Steve Becker, LCSW

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Woman whose disordered ex bit off her lip tells her story
By October 23, 2018 0 Comments Read More →

Woman whose disordered ex bit off her lip tells her story

Seth Fleury (Greenville County Detention Center)

Kayla Hayes finally found the strength to leave her controlling boyfriend, Seth Fleury. But on October 21, 2017, he wanted to get together to “talk,” Kayla agreed to meet him, but when he tried to kiss her, she refused.

He bit off her lip.

Fleury, 23, was sentenced a few days ago to 12 years in prison for assault and battery of a high and aggravated nature. He must serve at least 10 years.

Kayla wrote about her terrifying experience, and its aftermath, in a post on Facebook. Her words and emotions will sound familiar to Lovefraud readers.

This is a preview of Woman whose disordered ex bit off her lip tells her story. Read the full post (143 words, 1 image, estimated 34 secs reading time)
Posted in: Media sociopaths
Outrageous lies my sociopathic ex told me — what whoppers did you hear?
By October 22, 2018 2 Comments Read More →

Outrageous lies my sociopathic ex told me — what whoppers did you hear?

James Montgomery Soldier of Fortune

James Montgomery with his fake Soldier of Fortune magazine cover.

My sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, lied from the very beginning of our involvement, right through to the end. His first lies were in his online profile — age 49 (he was 55), financially secure (he had no money at all), an entrepreneur (never built a successful business in his life).

When we met in person, the lies continued nonstop. Here’s some of what I heard:

Lie: I won the Victoria Cross for my heroism in Vietnam (complete with a commendation).
Truth: He was never in Vietnam, in fact, never in the military. His commendation was forged.

This is a preview of Outrageous lies my sociopathic ex told me — what whoppers did you hear?. Read the full post (532 words, 1 image, estimated 2:08 mins reading time)
Posted in: Donna Andersen, Lovefraud books, Uncategorized
 
At the end of our honeymoon, he FLIPPED into a different person
By October 20, 2018 2 Comments Read More →

At the end of our honeymoon, he FLIPPED into a different person

Spath TalesEditor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call “EllenMarie.”

I met a covert malignant narcissist on an online dating site. I had no idea such people existed.

I had lost my wonderful husband of almost 30 years to cancer 4 years previously. We’d had a terrific, healthy relationship, and I wanted another one. I have two master’s degrees, one in psychiatric social work, and have always considered myself very intuitive and a good judge of character. Not this time!!

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Posted in: Sociopaths and family, Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud
Finally recognizing a sociopath’s abuse
By October 19, 2018 0 Comments Read More →

Finally recognizing a sociopath’s abuse

By Eleanor Cowan

“The statute of limitations? It took me 25 years post-drug-rape to recognize his abuse,” I replied to a comment as a bunch of us at our local Senior Center crowded around the fitness room TV to hear the sentencing of a dangerous sex criminal, a wealthy fellow much older than most of us, a fatherly figure whose abuses rampaged for decades with no limitations, brakes or borders.

“Why is there no statute of limitations for murder?” asked one woman, “while there is one for sexual abuse?”

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Posted in: Eleanor Cowan, Uncategorized
 
I am overwhelmed with PTSD, stress, anxiety, fear, loss, betrayal and trying to save myself
By October 17, 2018 8 Comments Read More →

I am overwhelmed with PTSD, stress, anxiety, fear, loss, betrayal and trying to save myself

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader whom we’ll call “Catherine18.” Other names have been changed.

I am writing this after a pretty hard day. I have them a lot these days. I’ve made it a habit to tell people that I’m fine or ok. Before that, before everyone knew what happened, I just smiled, laughed and was a pretend version of myself so that I wouldn’t let on what I was suffering. I learned to protect the person hurting me from my mother’s abuse of me. I am 42, and I have never not been abused. Ever. I’m now being honest. I am saying I’m not ok. People don’t help you when you finally get honest. I have been betrayed, abandoned, pitied and had people talk behind my back because I’m being honest.

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Posted in: Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud
By October 16, 2018 0 Comments Read More →

Useless advice on how to spot a lie

The Daily Mail just published a silly article in which a psychologist explains how to tell when someone is lying.

The behavioral psychologist, Jo Hemmings, dispenses all of the usual and useless advice about watching for microexpressions, lack of eye contact, convoluted explanations and changes in behavior.

Okay, so the advice might work for spotting a normal person who is uncomfortable with lying. It will never work for spotting a sociopath who lies like he or she breathes.

In fact, the article is accompanied by a sidebar in which new research published by Edinburgh University finds that it is hard to spot a liar. Why? Because liars may intentionally suppress the tell-tale signs of lying!

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Posted in: Donna Andersen, Explaining the sociopath
When you discover the appalling truth, do not confront the sociopath
By October 15, 2018 5 Comments Read More →

When you discover the appalling truth, do not confront the sociopath

You’ve felt like something was off about your romantic partner for a long time, but you could never quite figure out what it was. Then, suddenly and harshly, you learn the truth.

You discover that this person is cheating on you. Or forged your signature to open up credit cards. Or has kids you never knew about. Or is only pretending to go to work every day. Or is married to someone else.

However it happened, you learn that your partner is betraying you.

Your first instinct is to confront your partner and demand answers.

DON’T DO IT.

This is a preview of When you discover the appalling truth, do not confront the sociopath. Read the full post (472 words, 1 image, estimated 1:53 mins reading time)
Posted in: Donna Andersen, Recovery from a sociopath
Dealing with a sociopath: Fight or flight?
By October 13, 2018 6 Comments Read More →

Dealing with a sociopath: Fight or flight?

Sociopaths are social predators who live their lives by exploiting people. When you’re the person who has been exploited, how should you respond? Do you try to hold the sociopath accountable? Or do you cut your losses and run?

Lovefraud is an open forum, with many people expressing opinions about what you should do. In the past, some folks have posted comments saying give up, run away, don’t fight, you can’t win.

I don’t necessarily agree with that. Yes, in some cases, fleeing is the best course of action. But sometimes the only way to survive is to fight. Or sometimes standing up to the sociopath enables you to reclaim yourself, even if you don’t win the battle.

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Posted in: Uncategorized
MaryAnn Glynn, LCSW, to host free call in support group 10/21/18 at 5 pm EST
By October 12, 2018 0 Comments Read More →

MaryAnn Glynn, LCSW, to host free call in support group 10/21/18 at 5 pm EST

  Experience the support of people who know!  Join our free support group Sunday, October 21, 2018 at 5 pm EST.  Go www.destructiverelationshipshelp.com and use the Contact Form at the bottom of the home page to state your interest in joining.  Do this every time even if you have joined us before!  We will reply to you with instructions to join the conference call.  It is anonymous and no personal information is displayed or shared.

Share your struggles, questions, get feedback and clarity from people who get it!  Hope to meet you there!

Permanent link to this post (91 words, 1 image, estimated 22 secs reading time)
Posted in: Uncategorized
Domestic violence advocate allegedly killed by her ex-boyfriend
By October 11, 2018 1 Comments Read More →

Domestic violence advocate allegedly killed by her ex-boyfriend

Nathaniel Mitchell (Tarrant County Correction Center)

Donna Alexander, 34, of Grand Prairie, Texas, was a domestic violence advocate. She founded an “Anger Room,” where people could blow off stress by smashing things, rather than their loved ones.

But Alexander herself was allegedly attacked by her estranged boyfriend, Nathaniel Mitchell, 34. Mitchell brought her to the hospital with severe head injuries. A week later, Alexander died of her injuries.

Mitchell has been charged with murder.

Anger Room founder allegedly beaten to death by ex knew relationship ‘Would be the death of her’: Sister, on People.com.

This is a preview of Domestic violence advocate allegedly killed by her ex-boyfriend. Read the full post (116 words, 1 image, estimated 28 secs reading time)
Posted in: Media sociopaths

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