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Author Archive: Steve Becker, LCSW

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Translating a sociopath’s text message as he attempts to hoover back his ex-wife
By June 21, 2018 1 Comments Read More →

Translating a sociopath’s text message as he attempts to hoover back his ex-wife

Editor’s note: The following article was sent to Lovefraud by a reader whom we’ll call “Maura.”

My friend Annie was sent this text from her sociopathic ex. Three and half years ago, he abandoned her and their sons after a 17-year marriage. No doubt other readers have had similar hoover texts, and either ignored them or fell for them.

For entertainment and education purposes, we’ve analysed his standard manipulative ploys and use of charm to break down her defences and weasel his foot in the door. On the surface his text seems contrite and genuine enough. However, he is a sociopath who will do and say anything to lure her back in. The bottom line — it is all a con and he wants to exert control and hurt her further. He cannot change and any attempt to change will be very short lived.

This is a preview of Translating a sociopath’s text message as he attempts to hoover back his ex-wife. Read the full post (2397 words, 1 image, estimated 9:35 mins reading time)
Posted in: Explaining the sociopath, Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud
After our own abusive childhoods, endeavoring to protect others
By June 20, 2018 0 Comments Read More →

After our own abusive childhoods, endeavoring to protect others

By Eleanor Cowan

Way back in 1940, my Dad, Neil, married Maggie, a gentle woman soon thrilled at the birth of a son, Gordon. In late May, the young mom traveled to visit her parents in Nova Scotia and settled into a beautiful summer. Even with a war going on in Europe, and even though Gordie’s dad remained in Montreal, those months with her family became even more valued given Maggie’s sudden death.

In early September, Maggie packed to return to her husband in Montreal. Hours before her departure on the 6 p.m. train, she began hyperventilating. Her blood pressure sky-rocketed and Maggie plummeted into mortal asthmatic distress. She never got to Montreal. Before her horrified parents, Maggie, so happy with her baby, died in hospital that night.

This is a preview of After our own abusive childhoods, endeavoring to protect others. Read the full post (929 words, 1 image, estimated 3:43 mins reading time)
Posted in: Eleanor Cowan
 
The Sociopath Channel: Investigation Discovery
By June 18, 2018 3 Comments Read More →

The Sociopath Channel: Investigation Discovery

If you want to know how sociopaths behave, just watch any TV show on the Investigation Discovery channel. All the stories are true. They’re all about sociopaths. All the stories will enlighten you about disordered behavior — if you know what to look for.

In fact, I found a page on the ID website with helpful information: 5 Signs you share your home with a psychopath. The descriptions are reasonably accurate.

I often turn on ID while I’m cleaning the house. Because of the reality show format — narration, interviews and reenactments — I find that I can listen to the shows while I work, and still follow the whole story. Time and time again, I hear perfect descriptions of sociopaths seducing and then exploiting their targets.

This is a preview of The Sociopath Channel: Investigation Discovery. Read the full post (475 words, 1 image, estimated 1:54 mins reading time)
Posted in: Donna Andersen, Explaining the sociopath
Last words of Rhonda Casto: ‘He is either going to give me a ring or throw me off a cliff’
By June 16, 2018 1 Comments Read More →

Last words of Rhonda Casto: ‘He is either going to give me a ring or throw me off a cliff’

Rhonda Casto (Facebook)

Rhonda Castro fell to her death while hiking on the Eagle Creek Trail in the Columbia River Gorge in Oregon on March 16, 2009 with her boyfriend, Stephen Nichols.

Her last words to her grandmother and aunt were, “He is either going to give me a ring or throw me off a cliff.”

Nichols was originally charged with murder, but eventually pleaded guilty to criminally negligent homicide and coercion in May 2017. He was sentenced to three years of probation, with credit for 19 months of jail time.

This is a preview of Last words of Rhonda Casto: ‘He is either going to give me a ring or throw me off a cliff’. Read the full post (157 words, 1 image, estimated 38 secs reading time)
Posted in: Media sociopaths
 
After the sociopath, a man with borderline personality disorder
By June 15, 2018 7 Comments Read More →

After the sociopath, a man with borderline personality disorder

Photo by Alon

Editor’s Note: Lovefraud received the following email from reader Victimcindy. Donna Andersen  responds after the letter.

My first relationship, after my 18-year marriage to a sociopath, was to a borderline personality disordered (BPD) man. Do you find this common as the disordered traits are opposite in some areas?  We think we are getting something new and healthy.

Spath vs BPD: sex

My spath-ex withheld sex as power. The borderline was highly sexual. My spath-ex was charming, but lacked empathy and was emotionally unavailable. He also abused substances, was opportunistic with casual sex outside marriage and secretive.

This is a preview of After the sociopath, a man with borderline personality disorder. Read the full post (1248 words, 1 image, estimated 5:0 mins reading time)
Posted in: Donna Andersen, Hooked by a sociopath, Recovery from a sociopath
Why didn’t his family warn me?
By June 13, 2018 23 Comments Read More →

Why didn’t his family warn me?

I want to express my deepest appreciation and thanks for this site. I have questions for which I can’t find answers. Admittedly I’m new to this forum and I’m sure my story isn’t unique as I’ve read MY story over and over LOL! I’m clearly among my peeps. I say that with humor and with heartache because my family and friends do not understand my situation by no fault of their own. 1- having never been exposed to a sociopath their advice was based on a normal relationship. And 2- I didn’t share most of what happened out of embarrassment.

This is a preview of Why didn’t his family warn me?. Read the full post (679 words, 1 image, estimated 2:43 mins reading time)
Posted in: Sociopaths and family, Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud
Mary Ann Glynn on why a support group helps recovery from a sociopath
By June 12, 2018 0 Comments Read More →

Mary Ann Glynn on why a support group helps recovery from a sociopath

Upcoming Lovefraud CE Webinar:

Facilitating Professionally Run Support Groups for Partners in Exploitative Relationships
Friday, June 22, 2018 • 12 noon – 2 pm ET
2 CE credits available for therapists • $49

Confusion — everyone who is romantically involved with a sociopath experiences massive amount of confusion. Support groups offer clarity and validation — that’s why they’re so helpful for recovery.


This is a preview of Mary Ann Glynn on why a support group helps recovery from a sociopath. Read the full post (181 words, 0 images, estimated 43 secs reading time)
Posted in: Lovefraud Continuing Education
By June 11, 2018 9 Comments Read More →

Has your ex threatened to take revenge after your divorce?

Dwight Lamon Jones (Scottsdael Police Dept)

Dwight Jones, of Scottsdale, Arizona, was bitter and angry about his November, 2010 divorce. Last week, almost eight years later, he allegedly lashed out.

Jones is suspected of killing six people, four of whom were connected to his divorce:

  • Dr. Steven Pitt, a well-known psychologist who testified against Jones in the divorce
  • Veleria Sharp and Laura Anderson, paralegals who worked in the law office of the divorce attorney retained by Jones’ ex-wife
  • Marshall Levine, a counselor who took over the office space once used the counselor who treated Jones’ son
This is a preview of Has your ex threatened to take revenge after your divorce?. Read the full post (527 words, 1 image, estimated 2:06 mins reading time)
Posted in: Donna Andersen, Media sociopaths
Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, to host free support group conference call Sunday June 17th at 5 pm EST
By June 10, 2018 0 Comments Read More →

Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, to host free support group conference call Sunday June 17th at 5 pm EST

  Experience the support of people who know!  Join our free support group Sunday, June 17, 2018 at 5 pm EST.  Go to  www.destructiverelationshipshelp.com and use the Contact Form at the bottom of the home page to state your interest in joining.  Do this every time even if you have joined us before!  We will reply to you with instructions to join the conference call.  It is anonymous and no personal information is displayed or shared.

Share your struggles, questions, get feedback and clarity from people who get it!  Hope to meet you there!

Permanent link to this post (93 words, 1 image, estimated 22 secs reading time)
Posted in: Uncategorized
Sociopathic Behavior Was Trained Into Me
By June 9, 2018 2 Comments Read More →

Sociopathic Behavior Was Trained Into Me

Editor’s note: The following article was written by the Lovefraud reader acetiger01.

Reverting back to the child self

This is a preview of Sociopathic Behavior Was Trained Into Me. Read the full post (2476 words, 1 image, estimated 9:54 mins reading time)
Posted in: Spath Tales / Letters to Lovefraud

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