For more than two years, I’ve shared my story and relevant insights here once a week.
That’s coming to a close. My book, Husband, Liar, Sociopath chronicles my marriage and the painful lessons learned. My book, Narcissists, Sociopaths & Wolves includes a summary of some of the warning signs of being in a relationship with a sociopath. I hope the excertps I’ve shared from them have been helpful.
I didn’t know.
By Waleuska Lazo
Betrayal. This eight-letter word conjures up scary thoughts. Betrayal is one of the deepest pains we go through because it hits us at the core of our ability to love and trust
After my marriage ended I was grateful for the two loves of my life, my beautiful daughters. When I went into my next relationship, again I did with an implicit trust. In my mind, I was forming an invisible contract, or what I called a soul agreement.
Christopher Forte and his con artist wife, Juliana Posman.
Chris Forte of the United Kingdom fell in love with a woman he met at work, Juliana Posman, who was born in Indonesia. She told his family she needed to borrow £130,000 for immigration issues, and Forte’s parents gladly helped.
That was the beginning of the money drain. It turned out that Posman was a gambling addict and a con artist who lost £3.5 million.
A few weeks ago, the Philadelphia Inquirer published a story about a woman who says she went to sleep in the home of a male friend, and when she woke up realized she’d been raped. The woman didn’t go to the police — she believed it would be useless. So the took matters into her own hands. She told her story on Facebook, naming the man who assaulted her.
When she did, other women posted about similar experiences with the same man. For the perpetrator shamed via Facebook, there were consequences . He was a musician, and lost gigs. His landlord threw him out of his building.
I am currently working on a book about senior sociopaths — how disordered people behave when they are over the age of 50. I’ve collected a lot of data about the experiences of Lovefraud readers with these individuals — perhaps you completed my previous survey.
One of the topics I’d like to address in the book is how to deal with this type of person. So I ask you: If you have, or had, a sociopath who was 50 years old or older in your life, how did you escape, cope or move on? What techniques or strategies did you use to manage destructive behavior or get the person out of your life?
Experience the support of people who know! Join our free support group Sunday, April 22, 2018 at 5 pm EST. Go to www.destructiverelationshipshelp.com and use the Contact Form at the bottom of the home page to state your interest in joining. Do this every time even if you have joined us before! We will reply to you with instructions to join the conference call. It is anonymous and no personal information is displayed or shared.
Share your struggles, questions, get feedback and clarity from people who get it! Hope to meet you there!
By Dr. Kathy Ahern
An earthquake strikes in the middle of the night. A four-year-old child is trapped in a demolished house. She is left without food or water, help or support for three terrifying days.
In a different city another child the same age is neglected by her self-absorbed parents. They ignore her cries of hunger and fear for three days.
Years later, the earthquake victim suffers no ill effects from her experience. The child who was physically and emotionally abandoned grows into an adult suffering from complex PTSD. The physical and emotional traumas were identical. So why the difference? Betrayal.
The story of Little Red Riding Hood is a great metaphor for a relationship with a sociopath.
In the end, victims of sociopaths often feel destroyed or damaged in some profound way. Some are brutalized financially, others physically, and almost all are hurt, compromised, or undone emotionally and psychologically. The experience is often described as identity eroding or soul destroying. Many victims develop chronic post-traumatic stress disorder. For some, recovery is elusive. For others, it is long and hard.
Too many of us were taught, “There’s good in everyone.”
By Eleanor Cowan
My throat, arms, and legs felt swollen. Not for the first time, the thought occurred: “Death would be an instant relief.” I could hardly walk. Heavy with grief, a searing acidic ache in my stomach, I arrived at the weekend retreat held by a support group for those affected by the addictions of a loved one. Assigned to a tiny room the size of a storage cupboard in the small community college, I dropped the worn backpack I’d hastily stuffed with an old nightie, soap, and toothbrush. I chose a seminar among those offered on the agenda lying on the desk and stumbled to it.
I talk to a lot of heartbroken people who have learned that their romantic partner, their “soul mate,” was a sociopath. Men and women who, perhaps like you, discovered that everything their romantic partner said to them was a lie. People who are grieving not only profound betrayal, but also the loss of their hopes and dreams for the future.
If this is you, I understand how devastated you feel. I’ve been there. But I also know that you can recover, you can move forward, and you can find love — a real love.
Donna Andersen is author of three books, including Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath, and is program administrator for Lovefraud Continuing Education.
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