By Nava Renek I should have suspected something was wrong last year during March Madness when we'd gone to a neighborhood bar to watch the Final Four. At half-time, a lively woman with short gray hair in a pixie cut wandered over and struck up a conversation with us. She seemed a little tipsy but was friendly enough, and as we continued talking, we agreed to meet her next door at another bar where she claimed a good band was playing. She said she was planning her 60th birthday, and after a few more shots of tequila, I had the feeling she was trying to pick us up. When she finally leaned into me and asked if we were monogamous, I answered “yes.” My partner said: “no.” We didn't take her up on …
If you’re a domestic abuse survivor, a researcher wants to know about your experience
Hello. My name is Courtney Humeny and I am a PhD candidate in Cognitive Science at Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada. I am carrying out an online study on survivors of romantic relationships with psychopathic partners. If you are interested in learning more please see the details below: Who we are recruiting The “Emotion, resilience, and post-traumatic growth in domestic abuse survivors” study investigates the outcome of being in an abusive romantic relationship. We are looking for participants (aged over 18) who identify as being in a prior heterosexual abusive romantic relationship. Abusive experiences may include verbal/ emotional abuse (i.e., bullying, manipulation), coercion (i.e., …
If you’re a domestic abuse survivor, a researcher wants to know about your experienceRead More
After a superficial two-year courtship, calling it quits
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Annalise." Experts say date 2 years before you can fully know someone, so here's my story: Despite pouring over these websites and reading blog after blog to educate myself and heal myself, I've let another unsuspected sociopath into my life, or maybe I've know all along. So the first sociopath was an 8 month roller coaster with red flags everywhere, despite his coming off a 20 year marriage with a 15 year management job. He was on the higher end of the scale. And despite the stability with his first marriage and job: he truly was the Devil's child and it haunts me to this day. This other guy that I dated …
After a superficial two-year courtship, calling it quitsRead More
He was either the most incredible person I ever met, or a deplorable monster
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Adelaide." Names are changed. I met Joe at a bar. It was the first time I ever went out alone. I was forcing myself to do new things on my own. Trying to prove to myself I did not need a man beside me to do the things I wanted to do. After I ordered my drink I started to feel uncomfortable. I noticed a jukebox and thought it would give me some comfort to hear some music I enjoy. So, I went to put in my selections. When I turned back around I noticed someone sitting in my chair. All my belongings had been pushed to the side. But my drink remained right where I left it. I immediately got angry ... wrinkled my …
He was either the most incredible person I ever met, or a deplorable monsterRead More
It’s like the authorities are all assisting my sociopathic ex in the fraud
Editor's note: The following was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Mother.Love." Married him and had 2 children. After the second child we decided I could stay home as his construction business was doing well. During that time, we remodeled a home, I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and survived twice and raised 2 children with learning disabilities. He wanted to build a new home and he became involved with a "spec" house. Unbeknownst to me he took out all the equity in the first house, lied to me about paying our taxes for 5 years, refused to set me up with a retirement account but he had one, didn't pay bills for 3 years, emptied all his accounts, was cheating on me while I was …
It’s like the authorities are all assisting my sociopathic ex in the fraudRead More
How do you explain why you stayed with a sociopath?
Editor's note: The following was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Seekeroflight." How do you explain why you stayed To someone who saw how badly she treated you How exhausted you were Stressed How do you admit that you saw the monster early on And yet you stayed Because the monster was willing to lie To save face To threaten, intimidate How do you explain that you chose to stay With a monster who shouted, as she kicked your friend out, Shouted to the cops and half the neighborhood That he was a "faggot and has AIDS" He doesn't...but it doesn't matter You aren't that kind of person How do you admit that you stayed With a monster who said At the dining room table That she had …
How do you explain why you stayed with a sociopath?Read More
In sex and other matters, when does “yes” mean “no”?
Editor's note: Joyce M. Short is the author of “Carnal Abuse by Deceit How a Predator's Lies Became Rape.” By Joyce M. Short Susy's Story A woman we'll call Susy met a man, Ruben, through the internet. His profile stated he was single and thirty-nine years old. He was an Army Colonel and newly back from his second tour of duty in Afghanistan. His experience had taught him how valuable family and loving relationships were, and he was determined to find the love of his life. After six months of dating, he asked for her hand in marriage. Ruben was great with her kids. She had a nine year old boy and twelve year old girl. Their birth father was on and off drugs and in and out of employment. The …
In sex and other matters, when does “yes” mean “no”?Read More
Sociopath preys on widows and women whose husbands are dying
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Olive." The names in this story have been changed. I met Burt in July of 2013. My husband had passed away six months earlier. I was looking for company to go out to dinner, a movie, etc. He is a retired elementary schoolteacher who seemed very nice and caring. He works part time now as a substitute teacher. He had a great smile and a kind face. I am an RN who has been on long term disability since my husband became ill back in 2011. I have a son with autism who lived with me and an adopted daughter. I hoped to return to work after he passed away but was rear ended by a truck in March 2013 sustaining a …
Sociopath preys on widows and women whose husbands are dyingRead More
She pursued me, produced divorce papers, but was married the entire time
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Gretta." Many of people join groups on Facebook with similar interests to meet up with friends and potentially if we find ourselves lucky or unlucky enough in my case something more. In my particular case, it was an older lesbian group on FB. I am going to share a very private, yet painful experience that I have encountered with you all in hopes this may prevent another person from going thru the emotional, heart breaking, financial and shameful experience that I have recently encountered. First a little history about me. July of this upcoming year, will be two years since my Wife passed away suddenly. I …
She pursued me, produced divorce papers, but was married the entire timeRead More
Catfish Romance Scams; Why They Should be Outlawed!
By Joyce Short Author: Carnal Abuse by Deceit Catfish are swindlers who trick people into romance. They post false information on the internet to get you hooked. Catfish romance scams can happen when people don't meet, as well as when they do. There's no limit to how the relationship progresses. Sexual bonding is caused by chemistry in your brain. Some people lack this brain chemistry, but for those who have a healthy dose of it, they'll become addicted to their lover, just like if they injected or snorted an addictive drug. To read the rest of this insightful look at catfishing, read Joyce Short's post: Catfish romance scams why they should be outlawed! …
Catfish Romance Scams; Why They Should be Outlawed!Read More