How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Sociopaths love only themselves

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Editor's note: The following was written by the Lovefraud reader "Carlamac." I wish I had known about your website and ways to obtain support 4 years ago!!! I can't believe I have found you! I spent 3 years with a sociopath and although he didn't get me for money, per se, he did convince me to buy a home using a story so similar to yours ”¦ I moved with him from New York to Florida with promises that his new business (I aided him in starting and developing) would flourish and we would end up in a house on the water with a Cigarette speed boat ”¦ etc., etc., blah, blah, blah. I left my adult children, family and an endless amount of friends on Long Island!! It didn't even take him 3 mont …

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Co-Parenting With A Sociopath: Keeping My Children Safe

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by Quinn Pierce If I were to make a list of the events that have occurred in my family over the past month and asked an ordinary person to explain the motives and reasons behind my ex-husband's behavior, that person would have a very difficult time making sense of the whole situation. However, anyone who has had a relationship with a sociopath for more than two minutes would understand his every decision.  Unfortunately, I would not only fall into this category, but I may be considered an unwilling expert on his twisted thought process and vengeful nature. The Calm Before The Storm I often wish I was over-reacting or being paranoid when I sense that my ex-husband is planning …

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The cardboard cutout sociopath

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My sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, considered himself to be an entrepreneur, the equal of any man who ever built a commercial empire. As he was seducing me, painting a glimmering picture of how successful and rich we would become, he proclaimed that he would be "the next Walt Disney." When Montgomery went to business meetings, he wore a jacket, trousers, and a polo shirt. He refused to wear ties, but he always had a silk square in his jacket pocket. He told me that even when he was young, he always dressed up in jackets and cravats, eschewing the psychedelic fashions of the 60s. So you can imagine my surprise when I heard that he'd been spotted at a train station in Katoomba, …

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Psychopaths’ brains react to pain in themselves, but not others

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Researchers studied the brains of 121 prison inmates who were categorized as weakly, moderately or highly psychopathic. While in an fMRI brain imaging machine, the inmates were shown photos of someone experiencing physical pain, for example, a finger caught in a door. Asked to imagine it was their finger, the psychopaths' brains showed typical neural responses. But asked to imagine it was another person's finger, the psychopathic brains did not register a pain response. They showed a pleasure response. Neurological basis for lack of empathy in psychopaths, on ScienceDaily.com. Here's another similar study: Psychopaths are not neurally equipped to have concern for others, on …

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Was I ever loved?

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  By Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW One of the most confusing things people grapple with during and after a relationship with a sociopath is wondering if any of the “love” was real. It's a total mind f---. You think of the beginning of the relationship in which your partner was the most romantic person you ever dated — how attentive he was. (I'll refer to male sociopaths, but they may be female as well.) He may have even been thoughtful and empathetic if you confided in him about someone or a situation troubling you in your life. He may have remembered each occasion with wonderful gifts. You remember times being part of family and friends as a couple, even when things started to get ba …

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Letter to Lovefraud: How I was duped by a young sociopath and believed all his lies – until now!

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following e-mal from the reader who posts as "Kataroux." In December 2005, my husband, who was also a sociopath, just not as ruthless, overdosed and died. I was devastated by the sudden death, and the fact that he chose to do it on my Son's 11th birthday. The first person to show up was my recent sociopath (we will call him “D” so he has a name), and he was there to "help me through” and “make me laugh.” He was a relative of my late husband but knew what I had gone through with my husband's drug addiction, and he and I had spent many of hours talking about what was going on for years prior to my husband's death. So he knew me very well, knew I loved com …

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Donna Andersen presents to Student Assistance Professionals

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Yesterday I had the opportunity to talk about sociopaths to the Association of Student Assistance Professionals for the Southern Region of New Jersey. These are the student assistance coordinators who work in the public schools in New Jersey's seven southern counties. I had enough time to essentially give them two presentations, which was terrific: Love Fraud and How to Avoid It is my program for high school and college students.  Sociopathy Awareness for Staff and Counselors provided more in-depth information that professionals should know. The presentation for students explains what a sociopath is, the Red Flags of Love Fraud, how people become addicted to relationships, the dangers of …

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Lessons in Life and Love I Learned from a Sociopath

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By Paula Carrasquillo Editor's note: Paula Carrasquillo is author of "Escaping the Boy My Life with a Sociopath." Read Lovefraud's book review. A few years ago, I found myself in a relationship with a man who demonstrated zero empathy, zero remorse, zero compassion and seemed to lack any inkling of a conscience. He lashed out at me often, raged and accused me of doing things I never did and of being a person I could never imagine being. I tried desperately to make him "see the light" of his negative thinking and paranoia. But all of my pleadings and attempts to convince him that he was wrong about my intentions proved futile. The emotional, psychological and spiritual abuse he …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I no longer attract needy, disordered men

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Editor's note: This is the story of a long-time member of the Lovefraud community, Stargazer. Spath-proofing my life I have been a poster on Lovefraud for over five years. It just occurred to me I've never written an article. I wanted to tell my story and write about what I have done to spath-proof my life in the last five years. It was never my intention to spath-proof my life. I only wanted to be happy. In taking the steps to make myself happy, I have successfully created a life where disordered people don't dare to enter. If they do, they don't stay very long. Why? I'm too happy for them. I don't buy into their sob stories; I have no need to fix them; and I have no need for their …

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Recovery From A Sociopath: Establishing Healthy Boundaries

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by Quinn Pierce   “But, I don't understand, what does he do?” And this is usually where the conversation falls apart. There is no easy way to describe the behavior that sends me and my children into a post-traumatic tail-spin. How do you explain to someone that you can just feel when someone is angry or disappointed with you?  Or, what it's like when just being around someone makes you feel self-conscious, insecure”¦small. Obstacles on the Healing Path When I'm faced with this type of skepticism, I have two reactions: frustration that I have to try to convince people that the abuse, and subsequently, the post-traumatic stresses are real and jealousy that the person asking t …

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