How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Divorcing A Sociopath: Avoiding Conflict and Other Mistakes

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by Quinn Pierce For a long time, I tried to keep confrontations with my ex-husband to a minimum.  I always thought that I could avoid causing my boys any further harm by just ”˜keeping the peace'.  I considered it a small price to pay if I had to tolerate inconveniences and insults in order to give my children a drama-less environment. But, as is always the case when negotiating with a sociopath, the price was much higher than I ever imagined. Good Intentions I believed I was setting an example by taking the high road and not engaging my ex-husband in his game-playing antics.  Unfortunately, what I was doing was letting a bully set the rules and move the boundaries at will. And whil …

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The journey from pain to peace

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The Lovefraud reader "Kataroux" has been struggling with the profound betrayal she endured at the hands of a charming young sociopath who turned out to be nothing more than a parasite. She told her entire story in the post from September 25, 2013, entitled How I was duped by a young sociopath and believed all his lies until now! On October 4, Kataroux posted the following comment on Lovefraud: As I sit here tonight I find myself wondering how I ever let something like this happen to me and yet I know the answer. I just buried my husband and wanted to feel loved again and Spath jumped in with promises of a wonderful future and I bent over backwards to give him just that. Notice I said …

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Dr. Robert Hare compares psychopathic traits to corporations

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Dr. Robert Hare developed the Psychopathy Checklist Revised (PCL-R), which is the usually instrument used by researchers to evaluate a person's level of disorder. In this video, he explains the traits of a psychopath, and compares them to corporate behaviors.   …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: My story with sociopaths (in three parts)

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Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader who posts as "Uhlen47" sent in her story. Discovering your website was, in many ways, a godsend. I am 59 years old, and I have not had a relationship for 11 years. Why? Because the last relationship I had was with a sociopath, and I have been too frightened to enter into another because I don't trust my judgment. The Beginning My mother was/is a sociopath with whom I no longer have a relationship. She abused me as a child, mentally, emotionally, and physically. My only gratitude to her is that she provided food, clothing and shelter, but she provided these probably because too much negative social stigma was attached to not providing it, and my …

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Tools to predict if psychopaths will re-offend are only 46.7% accurate, study says

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A new study in the British Journal of Psychiatry found that psychological assessment tools were about as effective as flipping a coin in predicting whether disordered individuals will re-offend after being released from prison. Predicting violence among psychopaths is no more than chance, on Phsy.org. Predicting future violence among individuals with psychopathy, on PJP.RCPsych.org. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader. …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Sociopaths love only themselves

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Editor's note: The following was written by the Lovefraud reader "Carlamac." I wish I had known about your website and ways to obtain support 4 years ago!!! I can't believe I have found you! I spent 3 years with a sociopath and although he didn't get me for money, per se, he did convince me to buy a home using a story so similar to yours ”¦ I moved with him from New York to Florida with promises that his new business (I aided him in starting and developing) would flourish and we would end up in a house on the water with a Cigarette speed boat ”¦ etc., etc., blah, blah, blah. I left my adult children, family and an endless amount of friends on Long Island!! It didn't even take him 3 mont …

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Co-Parenting With A Sociopath: Keeping My Children Safe

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by Quinn Pierce If I were to make a list of the events that have occurred in my family over the past month and asked an ordinary person to explain the motives and reasons behind my ex-husband's behavior, that person would have a very difficult time making sense of the whole situation. However, anyone who has had a relationship with a sociopath for more than two minutes would understand his every decision.  Unfortunately, I would not only fall into this category, but I may be considered an unwilling expert on his twisted thought process and vengeful nature. The Calm Before The Storm I often wish I was over-reacting or being paranoid when I sense that my ex-husband is planning …

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The cardboard cutout sociopath

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My sociopathic ex-husband, James Montgomery, considered himself to be an entrepreneur, the equal of any man who ever built a commercial empire. As he was seducing me, painting a glimmering picture of how successful and rich we would become, he proclaimed that he would be "the next Walt Disney." When Montgomery went to business meetings, he wore a jacket, trousers, and a polo shirt. He refused to wear ties, but he always had a silk square in his jacket pocket. He told me that even when he was young, he always dressed up in jackets and cravats, eschewing the psychedelic fashions of the 60s. So you can imagine my surprise when I heard that he'd been spotted at a train station in Katoomba, …

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Psychopaths’ brains react to pain in themselves, but not others

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Researchers studied the brains of 121 prison inmates who were categorized as weakly, moderately or highly psychopathic. While in an fMRI brain imaging machine, the inmates were shown photos of someone experiencing physical pain, for example, a finger caught in a door. Asked to imagine it was their finger, the psychopaths' brains showed typical neural responses. But asked to imagine it was another person's finger, the psychopathic brains did not register a pain response. They showed a pleasure response. Neurological basis for lack of empathy in psychopaths, on ScienceDaily.com. Here's another similar study: Psychopaths are not neurally equipped to have concern for others, on …

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Was I ever loved?

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  By Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW One of the most confusing things people grapple with during and after a relationship with a sociopath is wondering if any of the “love” was real. It's a total mind f---. You think of the beginning of the relationship in which your partner was the most romantic person you ever dated — how attentive he was. (I'll refer to male sociopaths, but they may be female as well.) He may have even been thoughtful and empathetic if you confided in him about someone or a situation troubling you in your life. He may have remembered each occasion with wonderful gifts. You remember times being part of family and friends as a couple, even when things started to get ba …

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