Most of us are here at Lovefraud because we've had our lives ravaged by someone who we now realize is a sociopath. The experience of overwhelming deceit and intentional abuse is difficult to comprehend, much less describe. Trying to explain what happened, even to ourselves, leaves many of us at a loss for words. That's why it is so comforting to find the right words expressed by someone else. When another person precisely describes what we've lived through, it validates our own perceptions and lets us know that we aren't the only ones who have gone through such hell. Quinn Pierce, a writer and educator, has the gift of choosing the right words. That's why I am so pleased to announce that …
Sociopaths change how we look at the world
Most of us grow up believing that all people are created equal, that human beings are basically good, and everybody wants to be loved. These are the messages we learn in school, in church, and in the age of political correctness, from the media. These beliefs are the lenses through which we view the world and the people in it. Our beliefs influence how we perceive and understand the behavior of those we meet. And, for about 90 percent of the population, the beliefs work just fine. Bad treatment Then we realize that someone in our life isn't treating us well. We may think this person is reacting to our behavior, that we're doing something to provoke anger or elicit criticism after …
Military Lovefraud part 2: Woman outs scammer, he wants to talk anyway
When Debby Wadsworth of Minnesota posted an online profile, she immediately received inquiries from men claiming to be military. Being former military herself, she knew "GoodSoul87" wasn't what he claimed to be. She was right. He wasn't Staff Sgt. Ricky James. He was Fofo "Nathanial" Babington, an unemployed 26-year-old from Ghana. Story and video: Behind lonely troops lurks an online con featuring fake IDs, photos, on StarTribune.com. Interestingly, it sounds like Babington was using the same photo of a Sgt. James that Lovefraud posted almost two years ago. The POW Network was able to identify the real Sgt. James, and apparently his photo is one of the most frequently stolen for …
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Military Lovefraud part 1: Epidemic of romance scams
There is something about men in uniform — and perhaps women in uniform — that is appealing and romantic. Hundreds, or perhaps thousands, of scammers take advantage of military attraction to separate unsuspecting targets from their money. Here's how they work: Con artists working out of Internet cafes — often in Africa — troll through dating sites, Facebook and other websites, striking up acquaintances with lonely people, usually women. They talk about the dangerous but important work they do in Afghanistan, Iraq or other distant locations. They confess their feelings of love for their targets. Then they ask the targets for money to pay for "leave requests," "communication fees," "transp …
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Surveys quantify lies and fraud on UK websites
A survey British adults by a consumer campaigning charity found that 25% have used a dating site. Of them: 40% discovered fake profiles 20% were asked for money Another survey by 192.com of 2,000 people who created web profiles found: 10% faked their address 18% changed their age 28% lied ab out salary or debt 20% fabricated their profiles Online daters told to beware of 'romance fraud' on Telegraph.co.uk. …
Marrying a Sociopath: Where Were the Warning Signs?
By Quinn Pierce Lately, when I look back over certain events in my life, it's a lot like watching the same scene from a movie play over and over. You know, the part where the unsuspecting soon-to-be-victim is about to go into the none-too-welcoming basement where the deranged ax-wielding maniac lies in wait. It's the scene we all watch wondering why she had to go down there in the first place, and why isn't she concerned by the sudden power outage and strange noises? Why wouldn't she go get the neighbor she just waved to seconds before, the one who was outside watering the flowers? We watch clue after clue slip past the victim's senses while the ominous music plays in the background. By …
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How psychopaths use language to describe murder
The language of diagnosed psychopaths in prison for murder reflected their personalities: selfish, detached from their crimes and emotionally flat, according to research by Jeff Hancock of Cornell University and colleagues. The investigators used sophisticated computerized text analysis to measure word usage as psychopathic and non-psychopathic murderers described their crimes. Psychopathic killers: Computerized text analysis uncovers the word patterns of a predator, on ScienceDaily.com. If you want to know more, the highly readable study is also available online. It contains a lot of great information. Hungry like the wolf: A word-pattern analysis of the language of psychopaths, on …
Twitter moves to fight abuse
After rape threats and bomb scares against well-known women in the UK, Twitter is making it easier to report abuse. Twitter cracks down on abuse, threats, on USAToday.com. …
New research on psychopaths and empathy
Psychopaths are typically described as lacking in empathy. New research from the Netherlands, however, suggests that psychopaths have the capacity for empathy, but it's usually turned off. The study was just published in Brain: A journal of neurology. I heard the first author, Dr. Harma Meffert, present the research when I attended the conference sponsored by the Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy in June. The researchers asked convicted criminals, who had been diagnosed as psychopaths, to view short video clips while hooked up to fMRI machines, so that the activity in their brains could be observed. The videos showed two hands interacting in ways that were painful, …
The sociopath, dogs and manipulation
Editor's note: The following another essay by the Lovefraud reader Quinn Pierce, who writes under a pseudonym. By Quinn Pierce The first thing I did when my husband and I moved into our first home together was adopt a puppy. I had grown up with many pets, and I can't remember a time when I didn't have a dog. I always felt dogs made a home more complete. So, I was thrilled when Ellie, a Border Collie, Golden Retriever mix arrived at my door step, literally. At the time, I was working as a veterinary technician. I had graduated from college in May, gotten married the following fall, and decided to explore my childhood dream of becoming a veterinarian. One morning, when I arrived at the …