How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Donna Andersen presents to Student Assistance Professionals

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Yesterday I had the opportunity to talk about sociopaths to the Association of Student Assistance Professionals for the Southern Region of New Jersey. These are the student assistance coordinators who work in the public schools in New Jersey's seven southern counties. I had enough time to essentially give them two presentations, which was terrific: Love Fraud and How to Avoid It is my program for high school and college students.  Sociopathy Awareness for Staff and Counselors provided more in-depth information that professionals should know. The presentation for students explains what a sociopath is, the Red Flags of Love Fraud, how people become addicted to relationships, the dangers of …

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Lessons in Life and Love I Learned from a Sociopath

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By Paula Carrasquillo Editor's note: Paula Carrasquillo is author of "Escaping the Boy My Life with a Sociopath." Read Lovefraud's book review. A few years ago, I found myself in a relationship with a man who demonstrated zero empathy, zero remorse, zero compassion and seemed to lack any inkling of a conscience. He lashed out at me often, raged and accused me of doing things I never did and of being a person I could never imagine being. I tried desperately to make him "see the light" of his negative thinking and paranoia. But all of my pleadings and attempts to convince him that he was wrong about my intentions proved futile. The emotional, psychological and spiritual abuse he …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I no longer attract needy, disordered men

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Editor's note: This is the story of a long-time member of the Lovefraud community, Stargazer. Spath-proofing my life I have been a poster on Lovefraud for over five years. It just occurred to me I've never written an article. I wanted to tell my story and write about what I have done to spath-proof my life in the last five years. It was never my intention to spath-proof my life. I only wanted to be happy. In taking the steps to make myself happy, I have successfully created a life where disordered people don't dare to enter. If they do, they don't stay very long. Why? I'm too happy for them. I don't buy into their sob stories; I have no need to fix them; and I have no need for their …

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Recovery From A Sociopath: Establishing Healthy Boundaries

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by Quinn Pierce   “But, I don't understand, what does he do?” And this is usually where the conversation falls apart. There is no easy way to describe the behavior that sends me and my children into a post-traumatic tail-spin. How do you explain to someone that you can just feel when someone is angry or disappointed with you?  Or, what it's like when just being around someone makes you feel self-conscious, insecure”¦small. Obstacles on the Healing Path When I'm faced with this type of skepticism, I have two reactions: frustration that I have to try to convince people that the abuse, and subsequently, the post-traumatic stresses are real and jealousy that the person asking …

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Dateline: Expose of Warren Jeffs and polygamy

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Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy At age 19, Rebecca Musser was forced to be the 19th wife of Rulon Jeffs, the 85-year-old "prophet" of the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints. She escaped, and has written a new book called The Witness Wore Red. NBC's Dateline will feature her story tonight. Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.   …

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Divorcing a Sociopath: A Healing Journey

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by Quinn Pierce   Some days, the sunlight seems just a little brighter than usual as I let its comforting rays blanket my skin with warmth.  And for that moment, I can taste the precious peace I so desperately want to give permanent residence in my life. Until, like a sudden rain cloud, a shadow creeps across my heart as a memory sparks to life.  And, in an instant, I'm shifted off balance, struggling to maintain my footing, refusing to fall down. Another day, it seems, on the path to recovery after sharing my life for so long with someone whose every emotion was a lie. Necessary Interaction It's an exhausting paradox for me.  I would love nothing more than to erase him from …

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Van Dralan Dixon, crime watch captain, suspected in rapes

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Van Dralan Dixon, a neighborhood crime watch captain in South Dallas, Texas is a suspect in a series of rapes. Between June 22 and September 1, 2013, there were nine rapes in the Fair Park area. Dixson's DNA matches one of the cases. Dixson was called a "dedicated father," yet he had a violent temper and sometimes left his children unattended. Neighbors: South Dallas rape suspect was crime watch captain, on DallasNews.com.   …

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New tools for the psychopath tool box

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Editor's note: The following alert was sent to us by the Lovefraud reader who posts as "Jcco." I reconnected with my exP. My guard is totally up but I'm enjoying the show. I no longer use craigslist, i have limited FB use, and no more digging for info regarding the P. He is what he is. He told me about the new app called "Snapchat." The user can send a message/image and set a time limit for the recipient to view the message. After the message is viewed, it automatically deletes itself from the server. You can set the timer from 1-10 seconds. You can delete the app from your phone (if you're hiding an affair or something) and all its all gone. You can download the app again, as needed, …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: After the sociopath, life gets good again

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following article from a reader whom we'll call "Cherylann." I am really not sure where to start. My family and those closest to me refer to him as ”˜madman,' ”˜the beast'”¦ or as my brother put it, I married a cardboard box. I never realized he had no feelings for me or anyone but himself until maybe 2 years into our divorce proceedings. I am not known for my writing abilities and this is difficult to do; not because of the subject matter but because there is just so much that I could share about those 11 years that I was with him. I am not sure how to put it in the most ”˜readable' manner. Anyway, here goes. Not love at first sight Let me just …

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Ending My Relationship With a Sociopath: Separation and Manipulation

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By Quinn Pierce Shattering the Illusion Once I learned that my husband was a sociopath, it was a lot like looking at one of those Magic Eye puzzles that don't look like anything except random, tiny shapes and then, suddenly, a three dimensional image appears out of nowhere. Unfortunately, this lead to the realization that my entire marriage was an optical illusion covering up a very scary reality.  And once the illusion was shattered, I felt like I was living with a stranger who was capable of harming my children and me in ways I hadn't even realized. However, I also learned that separating from a sociopath and, subsequently, divorcing one is not any easier than living with one.  …

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