How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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6 behavior modifications that psychopaths will never internalize

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Many of us may be dealing with a psychopath and not realize it. The person’s behavior is so inconsistent — one minute he’s calm, and the next minute he’s raging. She can seem so warm, and then she’s cold and uncaring. So we wonder, sometimes they’re just fine — do they just need therapy to help them stabilize? The answer is no. I’ll explain six behavior modifications that psychopaths will never internalize. Training with Dr. Robert Hare Back in 2004, I traveled to Great Falls, Montana, to attend a workshop with Dr. Robert Hare, a top psychopathy researcher and author of Without Conscience — the disturbing world of psychopaths among us. The book perfectly describes my ex-husband, and it’s …

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My pet sitter pleaded for help then stole from me

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Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call, “Laura23.” She hired a pet sitter, who turned into a parasite and then a thief. My mother was dying, I had to rush to be by her side. I have two dogs and I never travel because of them. I took a friend's referral to hire a pet sitter. This pet sitter ended up asking to sleep on my couch after my initial evening interview with her, claiming her landlord was creepy when she comes home after dark. With all of the "me too" movement, my initial gut reaction was, "hell no" he isn't going to harass you for coming home after dark. My mother was dying and I had to go out of town again, and used this dog sitter again …

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To help or not to help — ask yourself these 7 questions

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Many of us are inclined to help people when we are asked. But if the person doing the asking is a sociopath, the request for assistance may lead to outright exploitation. If you’re debating whether to help or not to help, pause and ask yourself these seven questions. The questions come from hard experience. For those of us who have been exploited by a sociopath, here’s a true but frustrating observation: They couldn’t have done it without our own cooperation. Yes, some sociopaths are complete criminals who rob people at gunpoint. But usually, sociopaths use manipulation. They love bomb, flatter and plead that we’re the only one who can help them. Unfortunately, they’re really good at convin …

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Love Fraud Book Excerpt: A diamond commitment from my true love

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My first book, Love Fraud — how marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan, tells the outrageous true story of my sociopathic ex-husband’s betrayal. But it is also a story of healing. This is the final installment of my Valentine’s Day series of excerpts from my book about finding my true love. To catch up, I invite you to read: Excerpts describing my ex-husband’s lies and cheating. Excerpts describing my healing journey. By Donna Andersen Terry retained his job, but a few years later his employer closed his office and wanted him to work from home. We were happy, he no longer needed to live near the office, so we decided that he would move in with me. We planned a big m …

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Name a cockroach after your ex and feed it to a wild animal

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For Valentine’s Day, get revenge against your ex with help from the San Antonio Zoo! With their Cry Me a Cockroach Fundraiser, you can name a cockroach, veggie or rodent after your ex, and it will be fed to a wild animal. All it takes is a donation to the zoo — $5 for a veggie, $10 for a cockroach and $25 for a rodent. You’ll receive a downloadable Valentine. You also have the option of sending your ex a downloadable Valentine, informing them that they’ve been fed to an animal. For an extra $150, the San Antonio Zoo will create a video of the animal chomping, symbolically, on your ex, with your own special message. Video of bird eating a cockroach For more information, go to Cry Me a Cockr …

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Love Fraud Book Excerpt: Our love is tested

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Yes, there can be love after the sociopath. In recognition of Valentine’s Day, this excerpt shares a bit more of the real love story in my book, Love Fraud — How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan.  To catch up, I invite you to read: Excerpts describing my ex-husband’s lies and cheating. Excerpts describing my healing journey. By Donna Andersen Battered by competition from China, Terry’s manufacturing business was failing — his only option was to sell it. But as he was going through his divorce at the time, he needed the approval of his ex and her attorney, and it was not forthcoming. His financial situation deteriorated rapidly, which sent him into depression. …

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After the sociopath, how to overcome the fear of dating

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My ex-husband thoroughly betrayed me. He defrauded me, cheated prolifically, had a child with another woman during our marriage, and then committed bigamy. When people hear my outrageous story, they often ask, how did I overcome the fear of dating after the sociopath? Wasn’t I afraid that I’d meet another one? I’ve found that it is certainly possible to overcome the fear of dating again. I’ll explain how to do it. Heartbroken by a sociopath If you’ve been left heartbroken by a sociopath, you may feel gun shy about putting yourself out there in search of a new partner. This is totally understandable. The sociopath swept into your life, love bombed you, and promised that the two of you wo …

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8 reasons why narcissists create false narratives about their targets

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By Joanie Bentz, BS, M.Ed., LBS Have you ever had someone unexpectedly confront you with false narratives about your life, such as your plans, decisions, activities and experiences? Were you stunned by the outrageous lies, or maybe blindsided by how the truth was cleverly mixed in with lies that made this information very believable? Perhaps it was a family member that said these things about you, or a co-worker. Sometimes, it could be an acquaintance that hardly knows you, and it's a wonder  how this person could make such determinations  with little contact or communication. A false narrative is simply misinformation about a person or situation. Gossip about the false narrative is almost a …

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Love Fraud Book Excerpt: For the first time in my life, my heart led the way

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In honor of Valentine’s Day, I’m telling the beginning of my love story — finding real, authentic love after the betrayal by my sociopathic ex-husband. My healing journey is recorded in my book, Love Fraud — How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. For now, I invite you to read: Excerpts describing my husband’s lies and cheating. Excerpts describing my healing journey. By Donna Andersen I made one last attempt to get my money back from my ex-husband by blackmailing him. My intuition told me that I created a lot of problems for him in his latest scam, but I received nothing. The battle was over. At least my love life was moving forward. After our wonderful date a …

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5 steppingstones to true love after the sociopath

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If you become romantically involved with a sociopath, sooner or later your heart is broken. The pain is so devastating that you may swear you’ll never love again. Please don’t follow through on that. It is entirely possible to find true love after the sociopath. I know, because it happened to me. I first learned about sociopaths the hard way — by marrying one. I wrote a book about it, called Love Fraud – how marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. Much of the story is about my ex-husband’s outrageous lies and manipulations towards me and multiple other women. His audacity was unbelievable. You can’t make this stuff up.  Still, I think the most important part of book is how …

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