A reader says: "I kept wondering what was going on in his head. I could never follow his thinking. I think he might have been into alcohol and drugs and that in itself messes the brain, and along with his other personality disorders, sure makes for a confusing relationship." The thinking patterns of the psychopath are indeed weird. It seems there are biological and intentional reasons for this. In others words, he is unable to think very logically PLUS he intends to mislead. No wonder he is hard to follow! Below I list several factors which together make the psychopath a most bamboozling character. The odd speech of psychopaths The psychopath makes "frequent use of contradictory …
Worst-case scenarios at the Battered Women conference
The keynote speaker had a question for the 200 or so women in the room during the Battered Women, Abused Children and Child Custody conference: "How many of you have been thrown in jail during your custody battle?" Approximately 15 women raised their hands. These women had been thrown in jail by the courts—technically on charges such as contempt of court or failure to pay child support. In reality, the women were jailed for trying to protect their children from abusive fathers. At least one woman was a fugitive, unable to return to her home state. No one in the audience was surprised—except, perhaps, me. Dr. Liane Leedom and I attended the conference, which was held this past wee …
Worst-case scenarios at the Battered Women conferenceRead More
Undoing the riddle of the sociopath
A while ago, I heard a riddle on the radio I hadn't heard since I was a young girl. Three men go to a hotel and book a room together. The room costs $30, so they each pay $10. After they've gone upstairs the desk clerk realizes the room only cost $25. He gives the bellhop $5 and tells him to return the money to the men. The bellhop figures he can't split $5 evenly, so he pockets $2 and gives them each $1 back. That means they each paid $9 for the room. Which means they paid, $27 total. But, if you add the bellhops $2, it means there's only $29 -- Where did the extra $1 go? Ultimately, the answer is, it's not a math question -- it's a case of misdirection. The riddle asks us to follow the …
ASK DR. LEEDOM: Are there psychological tactics for dealing with a psychopath?
I received this question from a woman who is divorcing a man she believes has the traits of a psychopath (according to the psychopathy checklist): “What psychological tactics can you suggest in dealing with a psychopath? There must be some tools and strategies to stay a step ahead. I've read books on identifying liars and tried to educate myself on strengthening my position in recognizing The Predator. There has to be some guidelines somewhere on How to Ride That Horse. I have had hundreds of horses throughout my life and pride myself on being able to ride anyone that crosses my path. Although this horse has been the most difficult and I continue to be dragged, trampled and kicked, I c …
ASK DR. LEEDOM: Are there psychological tactics for dealing with a psychopath?Read More
(Given what you’ve learned the hard way) what’s your attitude like?
It could be argued that the sociopath is cynical: contemptuous; mocking; concerned only with his own interests and typically disregarding accepted or appropriate standards in order to achieve them - the opposite of idealistic. And there is a danger that one who has learned the hard way about sociopaths becomes jaded: dulled, blunted, deadened, inured; tired, weary, wearied; unmoved, blasé, apathetic - the opposite of fresh. The online version of the Guardian newspaper runs a series in which readers provide their responses to 'Ethical conundrums'. Given the nature of our interests on this blog, this one caught my eye: Is it worse to be cynical or jaded? …
(Given what you’ve learned the hard way) what’s your attitude like?Read More
TARGETED TEENS AND 20s: He wanted me to keep playing his bitch
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following letter from a 24-year-old woman, a graduate student. He told me he was all I needed; he told me that he was the only person who cared. He told me my friends hated me because they were so mad at me because I got sick. He told me they were just all bitches like all of the other girls in the world. Like his ex-girlfriends, like his mother, like (me). I had no idea that sociopaths existed. I thought that "sociopath" was only a word thrown about on TV, late night news, America's Most Wanted. My therapist told me that my ex-boyfriend is one of the worst sociopaths that she has heard about in her 12 years of practice. Abuse starts slow The …
TARGETED TEENS AND 20s: He wanted me to keep playing his bitchRead More
What the sociopath experience has taught me
Recently, I had a run-in with someone who displays traits of a bully. Because of my experience with the sociopath, the abuser no longer in my life, I didn't get bullied by his assertions that he was in the right and I was wrong, wrong, wrong -- not to mention stupid. Now, it is disconcerting to have an encounter of this sort. It is never pleasant to have someone yelling at me, or telling me I'd better do what they say, or else. In the case of this individual, the 'or else' was connected to his assertion he had the power to ruin my life in this city because, 'he knows people'. He and his dad are connected and all it would take is one phone call, and wham! I wouldn't know what hit me. Once …
Nothing says “I’m sexy” like an automatic weapon
Allow me to introduce the "Babe" who could be Drew Peterson's next wife. She is Kumari Fulbright, a young lady who participated in the Miss Arizona pageant as Miss Pima County in 2005, and Miss Desert Sun in 2006, who also reportedly serves as a law clerk for U.S. District Judge Raner Collins. Here, she is pictured as Miss May in a calendar for Subguns.com (www.title2media.com, photo used with permission). See ABC News for the complete story. But Drew Peterson and the rest of you guys had better watch out because sweet little Kumari "is accused, along with three men, of tying up her 24-year-old ex-boyfriend with plastic cable and duct tape, and holding him captive for hours in two …
A female serial killer
The Deccan Herald newspaper in Bangalore, India reports on the arrest of a female serial killer, 43 year old Mallika. The story can be read here and here. Serial killers are actually very rare creatures, and the female of the species is truly unusual. Perhaps that is good reason not to make a big deal about something so rare. One thing, though, caught my eye and made me think lovefraud readers may be interested too. I'll summarise the story and you tell me what you think. Here's what raised my eyebrow She allegedly committed all the murders single-handedly and for gain. She is no psychopath, the commissioner said. …
BOOK REVIEW: The Other Mrs. Jordan
"I should write a book." Many people have said this in describing their unbelievable, shocking and downright bizarre experiences with a sociopath to Lovefraud. Mary Turner Thomson of Edinburgh, Scotland, did just that. Thompson's book is called The Other Mrs. Jordan—A True Story of Bigamy and Betrayal. It will have you shaking your head in disbelief—and nodding your head in understanding. If you've been thoroughly deceived by a sociopath, elements of Thomson's story will be very familiar to you. Perfect gentleman Mary Turner Thomson was a 35-year-old single mother when the sociopath, Will Jordan, wormed his way into her life. Of course, at the time, Thomson did not know the guy was …